He felt sick to his stomach as he reached out, seeking the edge of a wrought-iron chair. He needed support, and right now all he could call upon was an inanimate object.
“Alana has no place in this family, Lucas.”
Luc swallowed, his eyes remaining locked on Kate. Obviously, he’d been played by two women in his life—two women he’d trusted and let in intimately—on so many levels.
No wonder she was always so hesitant to let him in on his past. Kate’s silence probably had little to do with the doctor’s warnings and everything to do with her own agenda.
How could he have been so blind? How the hell could Kate have taken advantage of his vulnerability like that? Being manipulative wasn’t like her, or at least not like the Kate he’d known. What had changed? Why had she felt it necessary to lie to his face, to go along with this charade that they were engaged?
Luc closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. “Mom, I’ll call you back later. The connection is bad with the weather.”
The call was cut off before he could finish. This storm was going to be a big one and he didn’t just mean the one brewing outside.
Luc held the phone down at his side, dropped his head and tried like hell to forget the images, the emotions that went along with the fact he’d slept with Kate. He’d had sex with his assistant. He’d thought himself in love with her, believed that he’d be marrying her, making her the next queen.
She knew full well he didn’t step over the line of professional boundaries. He’d outlined that fact for her a year ago when their attraction had crept to the surface, and he’d wanted to nip it in the bud. Kate knew every single thing about him and she’d used that to her advantage. She knew of the real fiancée, the fake pregnancy, and even after he’d brought up having visions of a baby, she’d said nothing.
How far would she have let this farce go? How long was she intending to lie straight to his face? Earlier she’d claimed she loved him.
Luc’s heart clenched. Love had no place in the midst of lies and deceit.
Bringing his eyes back up, he caught her gaze across the open space. She smiled, a smile that he’d once trusted, and Luc felt absolutely nothing but disgust.
He knew exactly what he had to do.
* * *
When he hadn’t returned her smile, Kate worried. Again she wondered who he’d been talking to on the phone. Something or someone had upset him.
Well, whatever it was, she couldn’t let that hold her back. She couldn’t keep finding excuses to put this discussion off.
“Dinner is ready,” she called, setting the plates on the old, scarred table.
She glanced at the bouquet she’d purchased just the other day at the street market. She and Luc had shared so many amazing memories in such a short time, but she couldn’t even relish them because they were built upon the lies she’d created using the feeble excuse that it was for his benefit. No, it would be to his benefit to know exactly what was going on in his life.
Nervousness spiked through her, settling deep. Kate smoothed a hand down her knee-length halter dress and took a deep breath as she stood beside her chair and waited for him to come in. Luc entered through the patio doors, closed them, set his phone on the coffee table and crossed to her.
“Smells great,” he told her, offering a wide smile.
When he leaned down to kiss her cheek, Kate closed her eyes for the briefest of moments. Getting wrapped up in this entire scenario of playing house would only hurt her more. She wished more than anything that every bit of this scene playing out were true. Wished Luc would always look at her as if he loved her, as if he wanted to spend his life with her.
“My mother called,” he told her after a long moment of silence. “She asked how everything was.”
Kate moved the fish around on her plate, too nervous to actually eat. “I’m sure she’s worried about you.”
“She cares about me. I assume anyone who cares for me would be worried.”
Kate’s eyes slid up to his, a knot in her throat forming when she saw him staring back at her. “Yes. You have a great many people who love you.”
“And what about you, Kate?” He held her gaze another moment before looking back to his plate. “Do you love me?”
Kate set her fork down, reached over to take his hand and squeezed. “I have so much in my heart for you, Luc.”
When he said nothing, they finished eating, picked up the dishes and set them on the counter.
“Leave them,” Luc told her, taking her hand. “Come with me.”
When he led her toward the bedroom, Kate’s heart started beating harder in her chest. She couldn’t let him start kissing her, undressing her or even touching more than just her hand, because she’d melt instantly and not be able to follow through with her plan to spill her guts.
She trailed into the room after him. The bed in the center of the floor mocked her. Never again would they lie there in a tangle of arms and legs.
They never should have.
“Luc.” She pulled her hand from his. “We can’t.”
He turned, quirking a brow. “Can’t what?”
Kate shook her head, glancing away. She couldn’t look him in the eyes. She didn’t want to see his face when she revealed the truth.
“You can’t make love to me?” He stepped closer, resting his hands on her shoulders. “Or you can’t continue to play the role of doting fiancée? Because I have to tell you, you did a remarkable job of lying to my face.”
Kate jerked her head up, meeting his cold, hard stare. All breath whooshed out of her lungs as fear gripped her heart like a vise.
“Apparently my real fiancée has been trying to get in touch with me,” he went on, dropping his hands and stepping back as if he couldn’t stand to touch Kate anymore. “After I heard my mother say that, the pieces started clicking into place.”
Kate wrapped her arms around her waist. “You remember everything?”
“I know you’re my assistant and you lied, manipulated and schemed to get into my bed.” Luc laughed, the sound mocking. “Now I know why we never slept together before.”
The pain in his voice sliced her heart open. Words died in her throat. Any defense she had was moot at this point.
“How far would you have gone, Kate? Would you have walked down the aisle and pretended to love me forever?”
She did love him. She’d chosen the absolute worst way to show him, but she truly did love the man. Kate pressed her lips together and remained still, waiting for the continuation of her punishment.
“Would you have gone so far as to have my kids?”
He took a step forward, but Kate squared her shoulders. She wasn’t afraid of him and she wasn’t going to turn and run, no matter how much she wanted to. Right now, he was entitled to lash out at her, and she had to take it.
“How could you do this to me?” His voice was low, calm, cold. “Now I know why you cried after we had sex in the shower. Apparently, the guilt got to you, but only for a short time, because you were quick to get back in my bed.”
Kate squeezed her arms tighter, as if to keep his hurtful words from seeping in. She glanced away, out the glass doors toward the sun, which had all but set.
“Look at me,” he demanded. “You don’t get to drift away. You started this and you’re damn well going to face reality and give me the answers I want. Are you even going to say anything?”
Kate shook her head. “Anything I say won’t change the fact that I lied to you, and you won’t believe any defense I have.”
Luc threw his arms out. “What was your motivation, Kate? Did you think I’d fall in love with you? Did you think you’d play with my mind for a bit?”
“No,” she whispered through the tears clogging her throat. “Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.”
“Oh, you didn’t hurt me,” he retorted, his face reddening. “I can’t be hurt by someone I don’t love. Didn’t you know that? I’m furious I ever trusted you.”
; Kate nodded. “When we made love—”
“We didn’t make love,” he spat. Luc took a step closer, so close she could see the whiskey-colored flecks in his eyes. “We had sex. Meaningless sex that never should’ve happened.”
Kate looked into his eyes, hoping to see a flicker of that emotion she’d seen during their days together, or when they’d been intimate. But all that stared back at her was hatred. Anything he thought he’d felt days ago, even hours ago, was false. The old Luc was back and harsher than ever.
“I’ll call for someone to come pick me up,” she told him. “I’ll be at the cottage until then. Anything I have here I can send for later.”
Kate walked out of the room, surprised he didn’t call her back so he could finish her off.
Mercifully, he let her go. She couldn’t cry in front of him, didn’t want him to think she was using tears as a defense. Her tears were a product of her own selfishness. She’d lived it up for a few days, had had the man she loved in her arms and had even worn his ring.
Kate stepped out onto the patio and glanced down at the gem on her finger. Thunder rolled, lightning streaked in the not so distant sky as fat drops of rain pelted her.
“Kate,” Luc called from behind her.
She froze.
“What the hell are you doing, just standing in the storm?”
Kate turned, blinking the rain out of her eyes. At this point she couldn’t honestly tell what was rain and what were tears.
“Do you care?” she asked.
“I’m angry, but I don’t want to see anyone struck by lightning.”
Luc stood in the doorway, his broad frame filling the open space. The lights behind him flickered and then everything went black, save for the candles she’d lit on the dining room table and the fat pillar on the coffee table.
Cursing under his breath, Luc stepped back. “Get in here.”
Slowly, Kate crossed the wet patio, hugging her midsection against the cool drops. She brushed by him, shivering from the brief contact and cringing the second he stepped back and broke the touch.
“I just—”
“I’ll be in my room.” He cut her off with a wave of his hand as if she was nothing more than a nuisance. “Don’t take this as a sign that I care. You can stay in here until the storm passes, and that’s all.”
Luc went to the dining room table, picked up a candle and walked away, leaving her shivering in the darkened living room. The pillar on the coffee table flickered, but she couldn’t see much beyond the sofa. Kate sank down, pulling her feet up onto the cushion, hugging her knees to her chest.
Closing her eyes, she dropped her head forward and sighed. For the first time in her life she prayed the storm would stop. She had to get to her cottage, pack her things and call for someone to come and get her.
The hurt that had settled into this house was more than she could handle, and she didn’t want to be here when Luc came out of his room. She didn’t want to see that anger, that wounded look in his eyes again, knowing she’d put it there.
Whatever they’d had, be it their professional relationship or this fake engagement, she’d ruined any chance of ever having Luc in her life again. She’d taken what didn’t belong to her, and she had no choice now but to live with the consequences.
Twelve
Luc must be insane. That was the only explanation for why he found himself crossing the path between the main house and the cottage so early in the morning. He hadn’t slept all night. Every moment since his fall kept playing out in his mind like a movie, only he couldn’t stop this one.
Kate’s rigidity when he would initially touch her, her hesitancy to make love to him, why she was so adamant about him not buying her things at the market. The signs were there, but he’d assumed she was his fiancée, and she’d never said any differently. She’d had time, plenty of time, to tell him the truth. Even if the doctor hadn’t given the order to not feed him any information, Luc was pretty sure she still would’ve kept up the charade.
Now that he’d had time to think, he’d fully processed how deeply her betrayal had sliced him. How could someone get so far into his life, work with him every single day, and manage to take advantage of him like that? Had he been that easy to manipulate? More important, how far would she have been willing to take that twisted game she’d played?
He wanted answers and he wanted them five minutes ago. He wasn’t waiting another second to find out what the hell she’d been thinking to even contemplate getting away with such a potentially life-altering, monumental lie.
The anger raging inside him didn’t stem just from her deception, but from the fact he’d fallen for her; making her betrayal even worse, Kate knew the emotional state he was in, just coming off a major breakup. Not only that, she knew he didn’t date, much less sleep, with staff. How could she claim to care about him and then betray him in the next breath?
Even now that he knew everything, he still cared. He still ached for her, because with his old memories, he also had fresh ones. Memories he’d made with Kate, now tarnished by lies.
As Luc stepped into a clearing of lush plants, he glanced down to the dock. He froze when he spotted Kate standing by the water, two suitcases at her feet. She was not leaving without telling him why the hell she’d done this to him. She didn’t get to escape that easily.
Marching toward the steps leading down to the beach, Luc had no clue what he’d say to her. She had plenty of explaining to do, but there was so much inside his mind, so much he wanted to say, he didn’t even know where to start. He figured once he opened his mouth, things would start pouring out, most likely hurtful things. He couldn’t care about her feelings just yet...if ever.
Kate jerked around as he approached. The dark circles beneath her eyes, the red rims, indicated she’d slept about as well as he had. The storm had lasted most of the night and he truly had no clue when she’d ended up leaving the main house. He’d closed the bedroom door, wanting to shut her out. Unfortunately, his bedroom was filled with visions of Kate.
The shower, the bed, her pair of flip-flops by the closet door, her robe draped across the foot of the bed. She was everywhere, and she’d wedged herself so intimately into his life, as no other woman had.
She’d had so much control over the situation and she’d used that power to consume him. Now he had to figure out how the hell to get out from under her spell, because even seeing her right now, with all his bubbling rage, he found his body still responded to her.
Damn it. How could he still want her? Anything that had happened between them was dead to him. He couldn’t think back on those times, because just like this “engagement,” they meant nothing.
Her eyes widened as he came to stand within inches of her. “I’m waiting for a boat. My father is sending one of the guards to pick me up.”
“Why?” Luc asked, clenching his fists at his sides. “Before you leave, tell me why you lied to me.”
Her head tipped slightly as she studied him. “Would it matter?”
Strands of her long, dark hair had slipped loose from her knot and were dancing about her shoulders. She had on another of those little strapless sundresses, this one black. Appropriately matching the color of his mood.
“Maybe not, but I deserve to know why you would betray my trust and think it was okay.”
Dark eyes held his. Part of him wanted to admire her for not backing away, not playing the victim or defending herself. The other part wished she’d defend herself and say something, so they could argue about it and get everything out in the open. He needed a good outlet, someone to yell at, and the perfect target stood directly in front of him.
“I was shocked at first that you thought I was your fiancée,” she told him, her pink tongue darting out to lick her lips. She shoved a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and shrugged. “Then I wanted to see what the doctor would say before I told you otherwise. He said not to give you any information, so I didn’t. I didn’t want to lie to you, Luc. I was in a t
ough spot and everything blew out of my control before I knew what was happening. I tried to keep my distance, but once we had sex, I wanted more. I took what I shouldn’t have. Nothing I can say can change that fact, but I am sorry I hurt you.”
Luc propped his hands on his hips, waiting to hear more, but she remained silent and continued to hold his gaze. “There has to be another reason, a deeper motivation than you simply being afraid to tell me.”
Kate’s eyes darted away as she turned her back to him and focused on the water again. Not a boat in sight. He still had time to get answers from her before she left.
“My reasons are irrelevant.”
He almost didn’t hear her whispered answer over the ocean breeze. With her back to him, Luc wasn’t sure what was worse, looking her in the eyes or looking at that exposed, creamy neck he could practically taste. He would never taste that skin again.
He cursed beneath his breath, raked a hand down his face and sighed. “What were you trying to gain?” he demanded. “I’m giving you the opportunity to say something here, Kate. Tell me why I shouldn’t fire you, why I shouldn’t remove you from every aspect of my life.”
The low hum of a motor jerked his attention in the direction of the royal yacht moving toward them. Kate said nothing as she turned, picking up her suitcases.
Here he was gearing up for a good fight, and she couldn’t even afford him that? Did she feel nothing at all? How had he misread her all these years?
If she wasn’t going to talk now, then fine. He wasn’t done with her, but if she needed to go, he’d let her. She could stew and worry back in Ilha Beleza. Luc actually wanted her uncomfortable, contemplating his next move. She deserved to be miserable, and he had to steel himself against any remorse.
His mother had always taught him to respect women, which he did, but right now that didn’t mean he had to make her life all rainbows and sunshine, either.
“Go back to the palace,” he told her, hating how she refused to look at him. “I’ll be home in a few days and we’ll add on to that schedule we finalized the other night.”
A Royal Amnesia Scandal Page 10
