by Amanda Ashby
Her voice faltered as she told her friends about her two relationships with Adam Fitzpatrick. And how badly they’d both ended.
“Oh, you poor thing.” Paige’s own eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you both sooner. I was having trouble accepting it myself.”
“Been there, done that.” Paige held up her hands, referring to the start of her own relationship with Luke. They both turned to Sam, who scowled.
“Trust me, there are no secret lovers in my life, and that’s the way I plan to keep it. Relationships are far too much trouble. I’d rather stick with cupcakes and coffee.”
“From now on, I’ll be joining you.” Laney clutched at the sweatshirt. And if she said it enough times, she just might believe it.
“Is there really no way to fix it? You seem so perfect for each other,” Paige said.
“You know sometimes you leave a door a little bit open, and other times you shut it tight with a lock? Well, I used nails and reinforced steel,” she said, forcing away his hurt voice as he said he’d wait for her. “I can’t make the two halves of my world work. I can’t risk my relationship with Jessica and Brett. They’re my family. And the baby.”
“I’m so sorry.” Paige hugged her. “What are you going to do?”
“Same as what I’ve always done. Get up, smile, and hope one day it really will get easier.” Laney picked up the sweatshirt and handed it back to Paige. She might have told her friends the truth, but it didn’t change anything. Which meant she wouldn’t need it anymore.
…
“Do you like it?” Laney asked Jessica as they stood in the kitchen of Doug Right’s cottage. The peeling wallpaper was a mishmash of eras, and she had a terrible feeling there were mouse droppings on the floor.
But the view.
She sighed. The long window overlooked the fields where India stood taking photos to send to her parents, who were in Florida on vacation. Erika was talking to someone on her phone, and by the barn, Paige’s fiancé, Luke, was clutching his measuring tape so he could give her an estimate of the work needed.
“I love it,” Jessica said. She was due any day, and Brett had almost banned her from coming along. But the pregnancy hormones had given her a stubborn streak, and she’d refused to miss out. “Sorry I didn’t support you right from the beginning.”
“I get why you didn’t. I know it sounded impossible for me to start a farm from scratch. But I think I can do it.”
“I know you can.” Jessica squeezed her hand. It kind of hurt. She turned her head as her sister-in-law’s mouth tightened in pain.
“Jess, what’s happening?”
“I…think I just had a contraction.” She panted, brown eyes wide with confusion. “I’ve been getting Braxton hicks ones for a couple of weeks, but this feels…owww.”
“You’re in labor?” Laney stiffened, her heart pounding louder than Cal’s drumming. “Oh, boy. Right. We need to stay calm. I’m calling Brett.”
“But we have a lunch reservation after this,” Jessica wailed.
“The baby has other ideas.” She took both of Jess’s shaking hands in hers and helped her out the door. Violet whimpered and followed them. Luke immediately dropped his tools and jogged over, quickly followed by India and Erika.
They all helped ease Jessica into the back of the car. India climbed into the driver’s seat, and Luke headed to his own truck, obviously deciding a leader vehicle was required to get them safely to the hospital.
Erika locked up the cottage and promised to follow behind them.
They were going to the hospital in true St. Clair style.
“I’m not ready.”
“Yes you are, sweetheart.” She rubbed Jessica’s shoulders as India carefully drove down to the main road. “There’s a season for everything, and right now it’s time to go have your baby.”
“You won’t leave?”
“Not for one second.” She reached for her phone, her fingers shaking as she scrolled for Brett’s number. Then she grinned. “You ready to scare the hell out of your husband?”
Jessica gave a tiny giggle and took the phone. “For fifteen years, I’ve been waiting for him to lose his cool. If this doesn’t do it, nothing will.” Then she broke off and hitched in her breath. “Hey honey, hope you’re not too busy…”
…
“What do you think?” Ryan said, holding a giant stuffed tiger that was almost as big as the room. “Too much?”
“Yes.” Adam didn’t look up. “And before you ask, so is the gorilla in the corner. Eloise will send them back when she gets home; you might as well save her the trouble. And lay off the green juice. It’s messing with your judgment.”
Ryan put down the tiger and narrowed his eyes at the glass bottle of the bespoke juice. There was a whole crate of the stuff in his brother’s house, and Adam had a similar crate, care of Eloise. She’d decided, since the baby was due in two weeks, neither of them could risk being drunk when they got the call. The stuff tasted disgusting.
She’d been released from the hospital last week and gone out for a manicure.
“Fine. But if I can’t keep these magnificent beasts, then you can’t keep sulking over those stupid letters.”
This time, he looked up. He’d taken to working at his brother’s house to keep an eye on him, and because he found it easier than sitting in his own place. The silence had been deafening. The elegant marble table was taken over by his research.
Doug and Mary’s letters were there, along with the many photos he’d taken of the cottage. The plot hadn’t come to him yet, but threads of the story were teasing away in the corner of his mind. Different from his other books but worth exploring.
“Stupid,” Ryan repeated as he strode over and randomly plucked one up. “‘To My Dearest Love, here is your lunch. I know how hard you work, so please don’t forget to eat. The tomatoes are from the garden. Look to the house and think of me. Your loving wife, Mary.’ Tell me how this is romantic?”
“Because she misses him even when he’s just out in the field. She made him lunch. And wrote him a note. You’re a real killjoy.”
“And you’re a daydreamer.” Ryan put down the letter and picked up one of the photos. “You ask me, this says more about their marriage.”
“It’s a picture of the kitchen.” Adam craned his neck. It was taken after he’d cleared away the towering piles of newspaper and cardboard that had covered the counters, leaving behind the wallpaper, peeling and dulled with age.
“It’s a picture of the truth. See that dent in the wall? That’s where your precious Mary threw a frying pan at Doug’s head because he got beets on his white shirt.”
“That didn’t happen.”
“Happened to me. Though it was red wine. But same deal.” Ryan picked up another photo of the bedroom. “And look at this. Someone definitely had the chainsaw out.”
“Also not true,” he said in a dry voice and took the photo out of his brother’s hand. Ryan ignored the scowl.
“This Doug fellow didn’t stick with Mary because of these notes. It was because he messed up the kitchen, she probably yelled at him, and then they made up and carried on. They had a foundation. A house.”
Adam frowned. “Do you really believe that’s what makes you and El work?”
“That and the great sex.” Ryan grinned.
“Is there a point?”
“Sure. Don’t be a dumbass.” His brother sat down at the table and stretched out his legs so they were resting on the giant stuffed tiger. “Is this about the thing you refuse to talk about?”
“Nope.” He shook his head. Despite the ongoing campaign, he still hadn’t mentioned it to either of them.
“Thought so.” Ryan’s eyes were curious. “Where did you leave it with Laney?”
His jaw ticked. So Eloise had told Ryan
about their past. It had to happen. Adam pinched the bridge of his nose, too tired to even pretend.
“Let’s see. After she dumped me, I said I’d wait. She said don’t bother because I’m not compatible with her dead husband.”
Second choice all over again.
“Well, wait better.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Adam opened his eyes as Ryan studied one of the photos, turning it in several directions as if trying to get a different view.
“Wait better,” his brother repeated. “This…what you’re doing. It’s not waiting. It’s moping. Even the tiger’s getting depressed.”
“It’s an inanimate object. It has no opinion.”
Ryan stretched out a thick muscular arm and clapped him on the back. “If you’re going to wait, then make it count. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“How?” he said. Ryan started to laugh. “Glad you’re finding this amusing,” Adam retorted.
“Oh. I am. I should record it. El would love it.”
“Love what? Did you spike your juice?”
“Definitely not drunk. Adam, you can make anything work. Exhibit A is my knocked-up wife, who is about to pop out my child.”
“Do I need to go over the birds and bees for you again? I didn’t do that particular work; you did. And El.”
“None of which would have happened if you hadn’t been okay about us.”
“Trust me, I definitely wasn’t okay when I found out about the affair.”
Ryan ran his hand through his perfect hair and gave him a rueful smile. “I’ll let you have that one. But it wouldn’t have gone any further if you hadn’t forgiven us.”
“The pair of you are pretty stubborn. I didn’t have a choice.” He bowed his head.
“We’re not that stubborn.” Ryan’s voice dropped. “And you did have a choice. If you hadn’t been able to forgive us, it wouldn’t have gone anywhere. One of the only things we’ve always agreed on. We’re not quite as oblivious as you think. You can make anything work.”
Adam’s head shot up. This was new information.
The lighthearted expression around his brother’s mouth had disappeared. He was serious.
“I didn’t realize,” he finally answered.
“’Course not. Because we both know I’m the clever one here. Not to mention incredibly good-looking. As voted by Hot Jocks Over Forty.” Ryan gave him a light punch on the arm. “Question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“I have no idea.” He shook his head as Beyoncé started to sing. Eloise. She’d changed both their phones so they both kept getting Queen Bey songs. One day he’d have to figure out how to change the damn thing.
He checked his own screen, but Ryan already had his up to his ear.
“Hey, beautiful. I’m sorting out my kid brother, but I’ll be… What? But we still have ten days. Oh, hell… Yes, I’m calm. You’re the one who’s panicking. Just wait. I’m on my way. Where are my keys? I’m fine. I love you…more than that…you know how much. Yeah, bye.”
Ryan’s perma-tanned face went white as he frantically stalked across the room, emptying wooden bowls and drawers onto the floor. “Baby’s coming. Contractions. El went to the hospital. Gotta go. Need keys.” He yanked another drawer from the cabinet and spilled the contents. “Oh, and the tiger. Can’t forget the tiger.”
He abandoned the search for the keys and picked up the giant stuffed animal. Adam jumped up, his own car keys in hand. He hurried over and peeled Ryan’s fingers from the death grip around the tiger.
“It’s okay, big guy. I’ll drive. You ready to go meet your baby?”
Ryan blinked and nodded, his eyes still stunned. “Baby. She’s having the baby. I’m going to be a father.”
“Yup.” Adam quickly pushed him toward the door before his brother remembered about the giant gorilla. “And you’re going to do fine.”
Chapter Twenty
“Every now and then I think about Nina. Wonder if she’s finally found what she was looking for. Is it wrong I feel guilty that my happiness came at her expense?” Blue Moon
Laney yawned. Lily Rose Richards was four weeks old, and though Laney could give her adorable niece back, she was still having as many sleepless nights as Jessica and Brett.
“I’m doing a caffeine run. You want anything?” India called from the front of the store.
“Yes, please. Tell Sam to make it extra strong.”
“Will do.” India blew her a kiss. “I know it sucked missing out on Doug’s cottage, but my dad thinks the place on the other side of the hill might come up for sale soon. You’ll get your flower farm. I know it.”
“Thanks.” She pressed on another smile. Erika had called last week to say the property had sold to an out-of-towner.
Even her itch couldn’t be bothered to get upset.
She waited until India had darted out the door, then leaned against the counter. Violet looked up from her spot in the front window, one ear alert, the other at a crooked angle. She eyed Laney before settling back down to nap.
The phone rang, and she lethargically answered.
“Branch and Twig, how can I help?”
“I do like someone who answers by the third ring,” a familiar voice said. Laney blinked.
Eloise?
Why would she be calling? Stupid question. There could be only one reason. Laney took a deep breath and braced herself.
“This is a surprise. Congratulations on the baby. Jessica showed me the photos. He’s beautiful,” she said truthfully. Jessica and Eloise had been exchanging texts and phone calls, and Laney had already seen several photos of Theo, who was just as perfect as her own tiny niece.
“Yes, he is.” Eloise’s voice turned wistful, then she coughed. “But this isn’t about babies. Well…only one large man-baby. So, go and sit down somewhere private. We need to talk.”
Laney rubbed her brow. She should just say no. Nothing could change, but despite herself, she flipped the closed sign around and went to the back of the store.
“I’m not sure what Adam’s told you,” she said, the words catching in her throat. It had been six weeks since she’d broken up with him. Six whole weeks that she hadn’t allowed herself to say his name out loud.
“Then let me enlighten you. He hasn’t said a word. Not that it matters. He probably would have messed it up. Man logic is a strange thing.”
“Eloise, I don’t want to be rude, but there’s nothing to talk about. I did the right thing.”
“Correction, Laney. You did not do the right thing.”
She flinched. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I know my ex-husband. If you want to break up with him, you can’t do it nicely. Or politely. It doesn’t work. You either finish it properly…or fix it. I can’t tell you what to do or how you should feel. But I can tell you that when it comes to Adam, there isn’t anything in-between.”
“I’m not going to hurt him more than I already have.”
Eloise let out a sigh. “Did he tell you about the miscarriage?”
Laney’s throat tightened. She’d never lost a child, but she did know how easily grief could sweep you down a path from which there was no return.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
“You really mean it, don’t you?” Eloise almost sounded surprised.
“I can only imagine how difficult it must have been.”
“It was the beginning of the end of us,” Eloise agreed. “Not really unexpected. A marriage forged in sunshine isn’t always built to weather the storm.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to know what kind of man he is. After it happened, I wasn’t great company. More like a total bitch. Anyone else would have walked out ages ago, but he stayed. Waited for things to be okay
again, refusing to give up on our marriage. He took those vows seriously. As a commitment. But I knew it was over, so I took it upon myself to show him he was mistaken. That’s why I slept with his brother.”
She frowned. “But you loved Ryan, right?”
Eloise let out a throaty laugh. “You really are the sweetest thing. No, I didn’t love him. I just knew if I did it, then the marriage would finally be done. Falling for Ryan definitely hadn’t been on my to-do list, but once it happened, it was like nothing I’d ever known.”
Her chest ached for how Adam must have felt. That the two people he loved most had done that to him. And it had played out in the national media. Her emotions were tinged with flickers of guilt. She’d accused him of not knowing how it felt to be ridiculed by the world. But of course he knew. And, unlike her, he hadn’t been able to keep his identity hidden.
“I do love Adam.” Eloise let out a wistful sigh. “But he was always meant to be my brother-in-law, not my husband. I want him to be happy. So please. Either end this properly or fix it. Don’t leave him broken.”
Broken? The word was so at odds with the man she knew. He always seemed so in control. So sure of himself. Not true. He’d told her how much he felt like a fraud after the book had come out. He blamed himself for his failed marriage. And the guilt he’d felt for causing Laney so much distress. And of never coming first.
What are you really afraid of, Laney? Me leaving you, or people knowing we’re together?
Tears filled her eyes, but she forced them back.
She didn’t have the right to cry.
If he really was broken, then anything she did would only make it worse.
“I-I’m sure he will be fine. It was different with you because you were the love of his life. The beautiful, adventurous Elle. All the things I wasn’t. He’ll recover. I promise.”
“Wait?” Eloise made a choking noise as if she was genuinely surprised. “You think I’m Elle?”
Laney’s mouth opened, then shut again. The cloying aroma of orange blossom made her head spin. She coughed and tried again.
“Of course you’re Elle. I mean, you practically have the same name. You had the same wedding ceremony. He wrote a book all about it. Blue Moon is the story of your epic love.”
