The guy sitting next to her smiled at me as I approached, but unlike the sweet smile on Maria’s face, it looked genuine. He was quite large in the body, and had a very round, soft face. His curly black hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and one of his hands was placed almost gingerly on Maria’s thigh. He reminded me of the stereotypical computer geek: chubby, pasty white, awkward—he was only missing the glasses. This must have been the boyfriend. Wealthy polo family, if I remembered Caitlin correctly. Caitlin had described him as a sad, overweight loser, which I thought was a bit harsh—though I could see why Maria was looking to trade up. He looked sweet, if about as far from Maria’s type as you could possibly get.
I switched my wine into my left hand and greeted Luiz with a handshake, ignoring Maria’s creepy Stepford Wives act. “Welcome aboard,” I said, with the warmest smile I could muster.
The smile he gave me in return was affable and genuine, and I found myself warming to him immediately. How the poor bastard had ended up with a bitch like Maria was beyond me. He certainly seemed decent enough; you’d think he could have found someone less psychotic.
“Ellie, sit down, please, please,” Maria said earnestly, patting the space next to them. Right. Great. Things were getting even creepier. She’d never been this nice to anyone. Quite frankly, I’d thought it beyond her ability.
I sat down, with great reluctance, and as Maria reached over to put her hand on my knee, I had a sudden fear that she wanted to ask me to participate in a scary threesome. Eek. Where was Caitlin when I needed her? I looked around the room hopefully, but saw no sign of either Caitlin or Cooper. Great. I was on my own.
“So, Ellie,” Luiz said, pulling my attention back to him, “Maria tells me you are from England. I’ve been there many times. Such a beautiful country.”
I nodded, wondering how long it would be before I could escape, but before I could answer, Maria was on her feet. “You two have so much in common,” she said, and as I watched her, the tiny anxious movements she made, she reminded me of a trapped animal. Which was bizarre. I mean, Luiz didn’t exactly look exciting, but he was hardly scary, either. As I stared at her, a stray thought popped into my mind: what if Maria wasn’t as confident and secure as she always seemed? What if she was stuck in a life she didn’t want, throwing herself at every man who came along in a desperate attempt to forget that eventually, what waited for her at home was the round-faced, fleshy Luiz? It didn’t make her any less of a bitch, but it would make the reason for her bitchiness a little clearer.
As I pondered that, Maria said, “I have just remembered something I must do, but I am so happy Ellie is here as you will be able to talk to each other while I am away!” Before Luiz or I could so much as think of saying anything to protest, she darted across the room and out the door.
“Erm. Sorry,” I said to Luiz, fighting the urge to grimace. I was embarrassed; I’d no idea what Luiz did or didn’t know about Maria’s behaviour on board ship, and so I’d no idea what to say to him.
“Don’t worry,” Luiz said kindly. “I’m sure it’s nothing.” His eyes told me that was a lie; he was concerned, but I couldn’t tell exactly what it was that was bothering him. “Maria told me what a great friend you are,” he added. “She’s been so excited for us to meet.”
Maria had clearly spun some kind of story for Luiz about her life on board the ship, and I didn’t really feel like it was my place to crush that fantasy. My parents had always told me to smile and nod when I didn’t know what to say, so I smiled. And nodded. And smiled. “Mmmmm,” I said.
On the bright side, Luiz turned out to actually be a lovely guy, and a wonderful conversationalist to boot. We soon discovered that despite our different backgrounds—he’d grown up on acreage, in a mansion, raising thoroughbred polo horses and travelling the world—we liked the same books, the same music, and the same movies. Even our family values were surprisingly similar. His English was impeccable, which made conversation far easier than I’d anticipated.
Despite how easily we’d kept up the conversation, I was quite relieved when Cooper arrived with Caitlin and Gabriel. I introduced Luiz, and the three of them slid into the booth with us. Cooper managed to claim the spot next to me without trying; his thigh was hard up against mine on the cosy booth seat.
Caitlin and Gabriel took over the conversation, and I felt myself relax. I hadn’t realised how stressful I had found it to keep talking with Maria conspicuously absent.
With everyone’s attention elsewhere, Cooper leaned closer to me and whispered, “Sorry I’m late, Ellie-belly. Had heaps of shit to do in the lab.” His little finger found mine and rubbed it suggestively. “Let’s have a drink and get out of here.”
I conveyed my agreement with a smile and immediately offered to buy the first round. Luiz, very sweetly, insisted on buying. Cooper and Gabriel followed him to the bar, though whether it was from some odd man sense that told them that Caitlin and I needed a girly moment together or because they wanted to find out how he’d managed to snag Maria as a girlfriend, I couldn’t tell.
As soon as Caitlin and I were on our own, she said, “What the fuck is with Maria’s boyfriend? How did you get stuck with him?”
“Oh, Caitlin,” I said, “he’s actually really, really nice.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, okay, whatever, dude. But while he’s here with you, Maria is off fucking some other bloke.”
“What!” I knew Maria was a bitch, but this was just cruel. “How can she do that to him?”
“She’s only holding on to him until she finds someone who’s as wealthy as he is…but more attractive,” she said.
“Wow,” I said, stunned. “What a fucking cow.”
“You’re preaching to the choir,” snorted Caitlin. “I ran into her earlier, and I swear she was so friendly that it was like she’d got a complete personality transplant. And then it all came out: we met this fucking gorgeous guy today while shooting embarkations, and she was determined to get him in the sack. Only reason she’d been sweet-talking me was because she knew Luiz was coming on board and she needed someone to keep him busy while she fucks the brains out of this other dude.” Caitlin hissed angrily. “I told her to fuck off, you know? Told her to grow up and deal with her own shit. But I saw her on her way to meet the guy, and realised she must’ve left Luiz alone.” She sighed. “What can I say? I’m a fucking softie. I didn’t want the poor guy to be alone hours after he’d got here.”
Well, that was all properly depressing. I was grateful I had Cooper; maybe no one else knew we were together, but I knew it, and that was the important thing. And I knew he’d never treat me like Maria was treating Luiz.
Almost as if she were reading my mind, Caitlin checked to see the boys weren’t yet returning and grabbed my arm. “So, roomie, what’s the goss with you and Cooper?” Her eyes were bright with excitement. “We didn’t get a chance to talk about it this morning… Did the jealousy thing work? He sure looked pissed when he left the officers’ bar last night.” She giggled and bit her lip in anticipation.
“Well…” I said, drawing out the suspense until Caitlin looked ready to explode from anticipation, “we shagged… And now we’re officially together!” Okay, so I’m rubbish at keeping secrets. But if I’d already let Jock know, I could hardly keep Caitlin out of the loop.
She whooped and high-fived me before I shushed her, worried that someone might hear.
“Oh, Ellie, that’s such great news,” she said, more quietly. “Actually, I’ve got news, too.” I could have sworn she patted her tummy subconsciously, and for a minute I was terrified that she was actually pregnant. “Gabriel wants to get serious,” she said, putting to rest my fears of her impending motherhood. “He said he really loves me and doesn’t want either of us to be with anybody else.”
I squealed in excitement, but before I could offer my own congratulations, the guys came back laden with drinks. Cooper edged his way between Caitlin and me; Gabriel slid in on Caitlin’s other side and threw his arm
around her shoulder affectionately. Luiz looked hopefully towards the door. No sign of Maria.
It was the first time since I’d arrived that Caitlin and I were both seriously involved with someone special, and there was no drama in sight. Would wonders never cease?
I should have known better than to celebrate so soon, as Luiz’s crestfallen face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree. I followed his gaze to find Maria, sashaying back into the crew bar; her fluorescent pink bra was particularly noticeable through her white vest in the UV light. Nothing says classy like a bright bra under a white top.
She sashayed up to our booth and plonked herself down next to Luiz.
“Did you know that the new passenger we met today is gay?” she demanded, looking at Caitlin.
Caitlin and I both stifled a giggle. Luiz looked confused. Poor man.
Maria looked displeased and snuggled into Luiz’s side, stroking his chest. Her face was out of his line of sight, which let her safely raise a questioning brow in Caitlin’s direction.
“Nothing,” Caitlin managed, nudging me in the ribs. I poked her back and giggles escaped both of us. Maria did not look impressed. This was going to be interesting.
Chapter Sixteen
“So,” I said, moving my thumb in circles in the centre of Cooper’s palm, “we’re finally alone.” We had finally escaped the crew bar for some quality time in my cabin.
But things weren’t off to a great start. Cooper wanted to talk about Maria, which kind of ruined the mood. After everything she had said and done to her female colleagues, I couldn’t stand Maria. My abrupt insight earlier in the evening had suggested that she might actually be human after all—but that didn’t make me like her. She was still an exotically beautiful libertine and a massive bitch. Happily for her, and unhappily for the rest of us, her personality wasn’t what attracted men to her. They were more interested in her DD-cup and willingness to do anything a man wanted.
And now my boyfriend wanted to spend the evening discussing her. Hooray.
“I feel sorry for her boyfriend. He seems like a great guy,” Cooper said. “I hope she doesn’t hurt him too much.” He looked down sadly. “Women have a way of breaking our hearts, you know…”
I nodded in agreement. Cooper’s fiancée had died, rather than cheated, but I understood what he meant. I loved his sensitivity.
That being said, I was eager to move on from discussing Maria and Luiz to thinking about us. It was rare for us to have time alone and I wanted to make the most of it. “Shall I put on some music?” I asked.
Cooper nodded, and I skimmed through my phone until I found some old-school Sadé, created a quick playlist, and flicked on my Bluetooth pod. As ‘By Your Side’ spilled through the tiny speakers, I slid across the bed and reached out to pull Cooper off his chair. It would only be a tiny lie to say I’d had fantasies about snogging to that song since Samantha and Richard at that rooftop pool in Sex and the City.
Before we could so much as get close enough to kiss, though, the sound of angry voices filtered through the walls. It was pretty obvious after a minute that they weren’t speaking English, and by process of elimination I quickly deduced that it was Maria and Luiz. Well, mostly Maria; her fiancé’s voice was lower—calmer.
Cooper and I sat, frozen in place by the increasing volume of Maria’s voice, until a shriek echoed through the halls.
“Right, I’m gonna go help,” said Cooper, standing up. “You stay here. I’ll be back shortly.”
I watched through a crack in the door as he slipped across the hall and knocked loudly on their door. Maria opened it a tiny crack, and once she saw it was Cooper, let him in without a word. He was absolutely a hero.
Figuring Cooper would be back soon, I flopped down on my bed and listened to the romantic playlist alone. I wanted to look dreamy and tantalising when he returned, stretched across my bed like a seductive maiden.
Eight songs later, I could no longer fake a ‘come hither’ look. The short visit to resolve what was, at its root, a domestic, had become uncomfortably long, and I was getting frustrated. Where the hell was my boyfriend? This was not at all how I’d envisioned the evening going when I’d left work earlier.
I stormed out the door and across the hall to listen at Maria’s door. Everything was quiet, and since I didn’t really want to deal with Maria again, I slunk back to my cabin and resumed my position on the bed. It was late and I was tired. I wished I knew if Cooper was still in the cabin across the hall. For all I knew, they’d all gone off somewhere. Or one of them had buggered off and Cooper was talking quietly to the other. How was I supposed to know?
I really hated waiting, particularly when I’d been looking forward to some alone time with Cooper.
Over an hour later, Cooper still hadn’t reappeared. I’d dozed off and awoken several times, kept checking the clock and putting my ear to the wall of Cooper’s cabin next door. No noises, no call, no signs of life.
I hated being a worrier, because really, on a ship, how far could someone go? I did feel justified in my concern, though; really, if your boyfriend goes off to help settle a dispute but then doesn’t come back, surely something must have happened… Had something bad happened to Maria and Luiz? Did he not want to come back to my cabin? Had he bumped into some other friends and gone to a cabin party? Had Justin asked him to work? If he had just poked his head back in and let me know what was going on, I could have rested easy, but not knowing was incredibly frustrating.
I eventually paged him; we weren’t meant to use it for personal reasons, but I was getting worried. Except then I heard it beep through the wall, and realised he must have left the pager in his cabin.
I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Where the fuck was he?
I slept badly, drifting off for anywhere from a few minutes to an hour and then jolting awake again, thinking I’d heard him come in. When he finally returned in the early hours of the morning, I opened my eyes and registered the sound of his door opening and promptly stormed over to confront him.
“Where the hell have you been?” I demanded, my hands placed firmly on my hips. Me plus lack of sleep plus frustration and worry was not a pretty picture. And I had a bad feeling my hair was a mess, which was undoubtedly adding to the crazy look.
Cooper looked at me as if I was mad. “I had a drink with Luiz to calm things down,” he said. The expression on his face told me that he didn’t understand why I was making such a fuss.
“Oh, really?” I said, not even bothering to keep the accusatory tone out of my voice. “Where were you having a drink? You know we’re not allowed out past 1.30.”
He rolled his eyes and stepped into his cabin. Before closing the door, he turned around and said, in a low, exasperated tone, “Ellie, I’m tired. I’ve been sorting out their relationship issues for hours, and I just want to sleep. I can’t deal with your insecurities right now. See you in the morning.” He closed the door.
Damn, I’d fucked that up. He’d told me he was going to sort them out, and I’d turned into a complete and totally insecure bitch. I thought about trying to remedy things right then, but realised that we were both exhausted and it would be better to wait until the morning to try to apologise. Sometimes it’s better to go to sleep angry.
Cooper had been right; I’d been jealous. I trudged back to my cabin with my head hanging. Honestly, when had I got so barmy? Or did I have a reason to be worried? I thought back to my friends with the problem boyfriends. When the men had been dishonest and cheating, they’d always managed to make it look like their girlfriend’s fault for being paranoid and picky. Was I in that relationship now?
I thought about it as I crawled back into bed and pulled the blankets up to my chest. No, I wasn’t, I decided, staring at the underside of Caitlin’s bunk. We’d had a minor blip when he freaked out after our first night together, but he’d never given me another reason to doubt him. I’d just had a bad run, that was all; of course I was anxious. But Cooper didn’t deserve that.
>
Lying in the dark, with a sick feeling of regret in the pit of my stomach, I knew I’d overreacted. My low self-esteem had made me feel angry and suspicious, which in turn made me sad; I thought I’d been doing so well with improving my self-esteem. I was much happier with the way I looked. I sighed. I was just being silly, and I needed to not take out my frustrations with myself on Cooper. No. Tomorrow, I simply had to apologise and smooth things over.
I fell asleep trying to compose a suitable apology, and when I woke up a few hours later I felt ratty and pathetic. Not a good start to the day.
When we docked in St Thomas, I went to go make up with Cooper, only to discover that he’d already left his cabin. When I got up to the mess, rehearsing my apology on the way in anticipation of finding him there, I found I’d missed him there, too. Feeling miserable, I hunched over my breakfast and ate in silence, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might have been interested in striking up a conversation.
When I finished, I checked back at the cabin to see if Cooper had returned, but he wasn’t there. Feeling depressed, I headed up to do stores, looking forward to it even less than usual. On the bright side, it kept me busy. On the other hand, rushing around and moving boxes in the humid St Thomas heat made me feel disgusting and unattractive and dragged my mood down even more. I resented having to do the work; all I wanted to do was go and find Cooper so I could apologise. The delay was gnawing at my nerves and making me anxious and jittery.
I finally finished and headed back to the cabin, beads of sweat clinging to my forehead and damp patches under my arms. I’d just opened the door when Cooper turned the corner.
“Ellie!” he exclaimed. “Hey! I was looking for you this morning.” He trotted down the hall and hugged me from behind, dropping a kiss on my neck before turning me to face him.
“Really?” I felt a warm rush of reassurance flood through my body. I knew I’d been overreacting. “You’d gone by the time I got up. And then I had to go do stores.”
Sex, Lies, and Cruising Page 21
