“Your mother is dining now, Your Grace if you wish to join her.”
“Lovely, thank you.” Robert walked into the dining room and gave his mother a kiss. “Good day, Mother. How do you fare?”
His mother looked at him with a cold eye.
“What is it? Are you perturbed with me?” What had he done now? Lately it seemed he could do nothing to please her.
“You do not remember?” she asked and put down her fork.
“Remember what, Mother? I’m afraid my overindulgence in spirits last night prevents me from being cognizant.” He sat down and the footman placed a large piece of meat pie in front of him. Robert dug into his meal.
“Well, let me tell you.” Lady Joanna sat back in her chair. “Mary Elizabeth appeared at our ball uninvited and you cut Fiona directly by dancing the first waltz with her.”
Robert choked on his meat pie and reached for a glass of water. “I did what?”
“You heard me. As soon as that cheeky wench showed up, you two were seen having an intimate conversation in the corner. And then, when poor Fiona looked for you for the waltz, you turned up on the dance floor with Mary Elizabeth. Fiona was devastated. You made a complete fool of her last night. I do not know if she will ever forgive you, and quite frankly, I would not blame her.”
“Where is Fiona?” He pushed his chair back and stood.
“I do not know. I have not seen her or heard a word from her little maid all day. I dare say she is in her room hiding her head in shame. I do not know how you shall ever make this up to her, Robert.”
He didn’t either. He ran up the stairs and knocked on her door. There was no answer. He opened it a crack. There was no one inside. The curtains were drawn. What was that on the bed? He flung the curtains aside and found a jewelry box and a note. He lifted the lid on the box, and inside were all the gifts he had given her, along with her wedding rings. He broke the wax on the letter.
Robert –
By now, you know I have gone. I have taken Merry, and also Eammon, as they are in love and I did not wish to separate them. I have only taken a few of the gowns you bought for me. I left all the jewelry you gave me. There is no need for the settlement. I do not want anything from you.
I wish you all the best with Mary Elizabeth. I hope you find your every happiness.
Fiona
Robert’s head swam and he broke out in a cold sweat. This could not be happening. Gone? She couldn’t be gone. Robert yanked open the doors to the armoire. Gowns of every shade hung there. He walked to her dresser and opened the drawers. They were empty. He walked into her bath room. There were no bottles of perfume or her soaps. He looked under the bed, nothing. Not even a pair of slippers.
He went to the door and yelled for Edwards. He raced down the stairs and yelled again. Edwards rushed down the hall.
“Your Grace?”
“Edwards, when my wife arrived with me from Scotland, where did you store her trunks?”
“She had only the one. I placed it in the attic.”
“Go there now and tell me if it remains.”
“Your Grace?”
“Go Edwards. Now!”
Robert stormed into the dining room. His mother wasn’t there. He went out to the hall and yelled for her. Lady Joanna appeared in the doorway to the green salon.
“Robert, for Heaven’s sake, what is all the shouting?”
“She’s gone, Mother.” He waved Fiona’s note. “She’s gone. Fiona has left me.” And with that, Robert broke down in his mother’s arms and cried like a child.
“Mother, how could I have been such a fool?” Sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands, Robert tried to stem the tide of tears. He could not lose Fiona now. What had he been thinking dancing with Mary Elizabeth? He did not even remember it!
Lady Joanna rubbed his back as she sat by his side. “There now, Robby. We all make fantastic blunders when we are drunk and in love.”
“But Mother, I am not in love with Mary Elizabeth.”
“Are you sure, dearest? From what I could see last night, it appeared to all and sundry you picked up right where you left off all those years ago.”
“’Twas the drink, Mother. The night was so gay and enjoyable I did not realize how heavily I imbibed. And then when I saw Beth…honestly, Mother, I do not even remember speaking with Beth, never mind dancing with her.” Mary Elizabeth’s words, ‘I love you, Robby. I have always loved you,’ floated through his guilt-ridden mind. He leaned back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. “Oh God, Mother. What am I to do now?”
“I believe the first thing you need to do is have something to eat. You will feel better on a full stomach. Then you must find your wife.” She looked at him with sympathetic eyes. “Dearest, I do know Fiona very well, and I must say, I do not think she will forgive you for this. After all you have put that poor girl through it will be a wonder if she listens to anything you would have to say.”
Robert knew that in his soul. Fiona would never speak to him again. Well, he would have to try. As for Mary Elizabeth, he had a few choice words for her as well.
Robert put food in his belly and had the carriage brought ‘round. He had no idea where to start looking for Fiona. She could be anywhere, but she traveled with two servants and that had distinct drawbacks. She couldn’t hide easily.
He mustered up the courage and went to Caymore House to speak with Penny. The two women were good friends, perhaps she knew where Fiona was, or would at least tell him if she were safe.
Upon entering the mansion, Quiggins brought him to the yellow salon. “The Duke of Cantin,” he intoned.
Lady Olivia eyed him coldly. “You look like you have been to hell and back, Cantin.”
“I am still there, Lady Olivia,” Robert said. “Could you tell me if my wife is here?”
“Here, why would she be here?”
Robert’s shoulders sagged.
“So have you misplaced her, or has she finally had enough of your ambivalence and left you?”
“She left me.”
“Serves you right,” the old woman said heatedly. “After your disgraceful display, I’m surprised she did not run you through. Cantin, what you did to that poor gel is abominable, and you deserve every measure of censure she can settle on you.”
“Lady Olivia, please….”
“Please nothing, Cantin. I have grown quite fond of the chit and watching her fall apart last night was not to be borne. I have always held you in the highest esteem, Robert. When you brought Fiona home and told Joanna and me of your foolish plan, I was shocked, but I knew you would come to find your way to love her. She is your perfect match. But now this! Cantin, you acted like the veriest libertine, without a care in the world for your family’s name. I warned you to be careful. I warned you, you would lose everything, and now it seems you have. The question is, are you man enough to try and get her back or are you going to waste your life with that vengeful wanton?”
“Vengeful? How could you say that about Mary Elizabeth? She has only been back in Town three weeks together. She realized she was still in love with me and wanted to see me. Granted, she should have taken care not to do so at my party, but there is nothing vengeful in that.”
“Cantin, you are a bigger fool than I ever thought you could be. Mary Elizabeth Fitzroy has been back in Town for several months. As a matter of fact, she came home the week before you left for Scotland. When you returned, married, she realized what a mistake she had made not coming to you right away. Unfortunately, her last husband, the Count de Lavallier left her with nothing but disgrace. She has been running up debts for gowns, staying with the lowest of acquaintance to remain hidden. She has been planning and scheming how to break up your marriage since her return. Her appearance in Society last night at your ball was a calculated move to place discord between you and Fiona. She knew you and Fiona have had a tumultuous relationship and she thought if she brought about enough dissonance, you would leave Fiona for her. And her plan has seemin
gly worked.”
Robert stared at Lady Olivia with his mouth open. “How can you know this? And why did not you tell me of Mary Elizabeth’s return before?”
“Robert, as the Duchess of Caymore, I know everything that happens in Society. I kept silent about Mary Elizabeth’s return, as you would have annulled the marriage to Fiona straight away. You would have thrown her away like a crumb to a bird. And I could not do that to poor Stephen’s memory. Your father wanted something more for you out of your marriage, and long ago he knew that Mary Elizabeth was a scheming little doxy who would only bring you heartbreak. What you have with Fiona is real love, honest love, with no games or tricks. No, every day cannot be sunshine and roses, but that is what true love is, Robert. It is a mixture of passion, and fighting, and lovemaking, but most importantly, it is a sincere regard for the one you have chosen to be your helpmate, in all circumstances. Fiona would never have done to you what you did to her last night. She has suffered more from you these three months together than I ever endured with my Fuzzy in the six-and-thirty years we were married. And do you know why? Because Fiona loves you. Through all your faults, and all your misgivings, and all your mistakes. Fiona loves you desperately. She is the perfect woman for you and if you do not see that, Heaven help you.”
Robert stood there helplessly, choking back his tears.
“Robert,” Lady Olivia said in a gentler tone. “If you love Fiona with all your heart, then find her. Go to her and beg her absolution. But remember, after everything you have done to her, she may not forgive you. And you must take it like a man. No tantrums, no threats, no brow beating her back into your life. Go to her with your heart wide open for she will know if you are sincere. Do not keep anything from her. Speak to her from your soul, boy, and she will see it. What she chooses to do is up to her.” She rose from her chair and enveloped Robert in a hug. Bringing her fingers up to his cheeks, she wiped away a tear. “Now go, go find Fiona and tell her.”
“What if she does not want me? What am I to do then?”
“You must cross that bridge if it comes. Just do what I told you and speak from your heart.” Lady Olivia kissed him on the cheek. “Now go.”
Robert left Lady Olivia feeling as if he’d just gone fifteen rounds at Gentleman Jackson’s. Between his heartbreak and his half-seas-over headache, he knew he couldn’t face finding her now. He needed to gather his courage for this would be a fight for his life. For his and Fiona’s life together and he didn’t want to make any mistakes. He would get her back if he had to die trying.
Over the next three days, Robert rode to one hundred fifty seven hotels and inns, in and around London. The Duchess of Cantin had not checked in anywhere. On the fourth day he questioned as many hackney drivers as he could. No one fitting her description traveled with a maid and footman. The day after that he asked the mail drivers with routes outside London if she had been seen. She hadn’t.
Fiona had disappeared.
Robert couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. He walked through his life as if he were a ghost. He’d given up all his daily pursuits to look for Fiona. He couldn’t blame her really. After what he’d done to her, in front of their friends and family, she probably had taken off for the Continent, or God help him, America, just so she would never have to see him again.
If it took until his last day on earth, he would never stop looking for her. He would never stop hoping that he would find her. He would never stop praying she would give him one more chance. Pitiably, he realized he had done the very same thing with Mary Elizabeth ten years before.
Chapter Thirty-Six
A week after moving in to the Bainbridge, Fiona greeted Greenleigh with a smile. “How can I ever repay your kindness, my lord? This really is beyond the pale.”
“It is my pleasure. Besides, surely you do not wish to live in a hotel forever. Now, I have set up three appointments to view some very fine homes, which are quite near one another, and we may depart at any time. My carriage waits ready in the mews.”
“Greenleigh you are a dear. It will be so lovely to go out into the wide world again.”
Fiona and Merry followed Greenleigh down the servants’ staircase and walked out into the stable yard for the hotel. Greenleigh’s magnificent barouche awaited them. They climbed aboard, and Fiona wished they could ride with the top open, but knew she couldn’t. She did not dare to be recognized.
The scandal sheets had taken to her story like flies to a carcass. Everyone now knew Fiona had left Robert over his episode with Mary Elizabeth at their ball. The consensus agreed she was the aggrieved party. However, everyone wanted to know where she was. It seemed Robert had searched London thoroughly, even offering a reward for her whereabouts, but no takers had turned up. She thanked God Greenleigh and Mr. Bolton kept her secret.
Fiona only needed to remain in hiding for five more weeks. After speaking with Mr. Murray, her own solicitor, she had found, as ‘Robert’ had been the one to bring about the annulment, she would need to be questioned by the magistrate for her side of the story. If however, she could not be found, then the annulment would be granted in absentia.
The first house Greenleigh took her to, on Queen Street, proved to be laden with traffic. She declined the invitation to view the interior and Greenleigh told his driver to go to the Church Street address. On Church Street, Fiona was not quite as disappointed with the location, but again declined the invitation to go inside. The house had a rather inhospitable air, with a crumbling façade and overgrown shrubbery.
“Well, we have one more stop today,” Greenleigh said. “It is a little more expensive, but well worth it in my opinion and I do think this last will be to your liking.”
As soon as they pulled around the corner from St. Ann’s Church, Fiona fell in love with the cul-de-sac. Lined with trees and wrought iron fences, the houses were elegant, yet unpretentious. The carriage stopped in front of number ten, and the tiger opened the carriage door and set the steps.
Greenleigh emerged first and handed Fiona down, then Merry. “Well, my dear, what do you think of this one?”
Fiona smiled. “I do like the neighborhood. Shall we go in?” Fiona adjusted her black mourning shroud just in case any neighbors had prying eyes.
“By all means.” Greenleigh led the way up the cobbled walk and opened the door.
A small, formal parlour off the front door welcomed them. The furniture was lovely, older and worn, but still serviceable, like something found in a well loved home. The library was across the hall. A mahogany staircase led up to a bright landing.
“Shall we view the rest of the first floor?” Greenleigh asked and led the two women down the short hall.
They wandered into the dining room, with large windows that overlooked a tidy garden, and then into the kitchen through a small serviceable butler’s pantry. The kitchen was over sized with a delightful sunroom off the back door. A small breakfast room lay behind the door on the other side of the kitchen.
“I think this will do nicely for us, will it not, Merry?” Fiona asked the little maid.
“Yes, very well indeed,” she agreed.
Upstairs there was a large bedchamber at the front of the house, with two smaller rooms in the back. In the attic were two large rooms for servants.
Back in the library, Greenleigh turned to Fiona. “Does it meet with your approval?”
“Oh aye, very much,” Fiona replied. “’Tis very handsome and well appointed. I like it very much indeed.” Fiona walked over to the shelves encasing the hundreds of books and ran her fingers lightly over their spines. “How much is the owner asking for rent?”
Greenleigh named the sum and Fiona smiled.
“That is well within my budget. How long is the lease?”
“’Tis indefinite at this point. However, he does wish for at least a year’s signing.”
“Well then,” Fiona said. “Shall we adjourn to the rental office and I will sign the agreement?”
“Lady Fiona,” Greenleigh said. “M
ay I be frank?”
Fiona turned to Merry. “Why do not you go outside, dearest, and take a view of the gardens. I shall only be another moment.”
Merry bobbed a short curtsy. “Of course, my lady.”
When the girl had departed, Greenleigh asked, “Are you sure you wish to take such a drastic measure? Cantin is a good man, albeit a little pompous in his dealings with others, as I’m sure you will agree. That being said, I truly believe you two can sort out your disagreements and work to find a mutual understanding.”
Fiona smiled sadly. “Greenleigh, I do thank you for your concern, but there is nothing for it any longer. I have tried to be what he wants, twisted myself into knots to gain his approval, and it is all for naught. As you and everyone else in Society saw last week, the woman he loves has come back. I am not so dim-witted to think he would give up his chance at happiness with her, over an uncertain future with me. As I have told you before, the annulment was always imminent. Only now, I have given it to him sooner rather than later. The scandal will pass and I will not deny him what he has always wanted.”
“Lady Fiona, I’m sure you misinterpreted Cantin’s actions at the ball. It cannot be denied he and the Countess have a past, but his future is with you. Surely, you can see that. The newspapers are full of reports how despondent he is. Why, some accounts are telling of his gaunt looks and frail air. It seems he is more distraught over your leaving than you think.”
“Greenleigh, I am sure he is searching for me, but for reasons I have no wish to hear. I will not live a half-life, which is what I will do if I return. You saw them dancing together. You saw the way he held her. He always demanded I should not cuckold him during our marriage. Well, I should not like my husband to laud his mistress over me.” Fiona pushed the curtains aside and looked out the window. Merry walked under the trees.
“So you see, we have no hope. I only wish to live a quiet life away from him until I decide what I am to do with my own future. Perhaps I will travel after a fashion. But right now, this is for the best.”
The Duke's Divorce (The Reluctant Grooms Series Volume IV) Page 25
