Wallingford’s jaw flexed a moment before he gave a long, tired sigh. “I know you don’t believe me, Jack. But I’m very sorry for what I did to you and your mother.”
Jack sneered at him. “You’re right, old man. I don’t believe you.”
Tears glistened in his eyes before Wallingford turned his back and cleared his throat. “I want you to know that I really did love her and…and you.”
Did he honestly expect Jack to believe that? How could he even say it with a straight face? Especially to him!
“I see,” Jack said slowly as he sought to stave off the roiling rage that simmered deep in his gut. “So that’s why you abandoned us.”
“No,” Wallingford said, his voice hoarse. “It’s why I had to abandon you.”
What the devil did that mean?
Not that he cared.
“And you think this makes it all better?” Jack asked as his lip curled in repugnance. “Or that it relieves you of your guilt?”
Wallingford faced him with a tormented face and for the first time in his life, Jack saw something other than smug assuredness on those pinched features. “I know it doesn’t, and I don’t ask for your forgiveness. I deserve your hatred. God knows I hate myself for it.”
The admiral’s raw emotions gave Jack pause. “Then why did you leave?”
“Because Charlotte found out about the two of you and she threatened to take Adrian and Justin and leave me.”
Jack’s jaw dropped. That was the last thing he had expected him to say. The bastard had taken them away from any shred of protection and left them in hell because his little wife might take his legitimate heirs and leave!
“What?” he asked in disbelief.
“I was scared, Jack. She could have ruined me.”
The urge to strike the man was so fierce that Jack didn’t know what prevented him from it. If the truth were known, he’d like to gut the beast. “So instead you ruined us.”
“I had to,” the admiral insisted as if he could somehow sway Jack over to his twisted reasoning. “I knew if I kept Margaret in England that sooner or later I’d find myself at her door. The only chance I had was to leave her somewhere I couldn’t return to.”
“I see now,” Jack said, seizing him by the throat. “You left us in hell because you were a craven bastard.” He tightened his grip, enjoying the feel of the flabby flesh against his palm. “Well, I can most certainly send you there now.”
Wallingford’s eyes bulged as he tried to pull Jack’s hands away. “You don’t have to send me there.” He gasped with each breath he could draw through his constricted throat. “I’ve lived there every day of my life. There hasn’t been an hour that has gone by that I haven’t seen her face or yours.”
Jack slung him against the wall, then returned to seize his throat. He held his father against the paneling, waiting for him to draw his last breath and end this once and for all. “Is that why you kicked me in my face when I begged you for a guinea to buy my freedom?”
Wallingford closed his eyes and swallowed. “Dear God, Jack, I didn’t mean to do that. You surprised me. I had no idea that you and your mother had gone somewhere else, and then there you were looking me in the face. I reacted without thought.”
“And I hate you for it.”
“I know you do, and it should give you great comfort to know that I’m dying.”
Jack loosened his grip. “What?”
“It’s true,” Wallingford said, taking Jack’s hand in both of his. “It’s lung sickness. I’ve been coughing up blood for some time now, and the doctors have assured me that my time is short. That’s why I wanted to speak with you today. I’ve made provisions for you.”
Growling low in his throat, Jack released him. He was no longer sure what to feel. The urge to kill his father was as strong as ever, but there were other emotions that were confusing him.
But one thing was certain, he wasn’t about to take anything from this man. Not now. Not so that he could go to his grave peacefully.
“I don’t want your damned provisions, old man. Nor do I need them.”
“Yes,” Wallingford said, straightening his jacket with an imperial tug. “I’m sure you’ve grown quite wealthy stealing from others.”
“It’s what I learned while starving in the gutter.”
Wallingford flinched, then took a deep breath as if steadying himself. “Fine, give it away then. I know it doesn’t relieve my conscience, nor does it make ammends to you. It was just something I had to do.”
Jack curled his lip. “And what will good sweet Charlotte say?”
Wallingford’s face hardened. “I don’t care what she says. She has made my life a living hell for years. Why do you think I’ve been at sea though I know I’m dying? Because I’d rather be here than listening to her croaky, nagging voice.”
In spite of himself, Jack snorted a bitter laugh. Perhaps there was some justice in this world after all.
“You are the image of your mother when you smile.”
Jack sobered.
“Would you please answer me one thing?” Wallingford asked.
Jack stared at him in disbelief that he would dare ask anything of him.
“Why did you draw me here?” Wallingford continued. “’Tis obvious you deplore me.”
“I wanted to kill you.”
“I see. After all these years you wanted peace.”
Jack couldn’t let it go at that. Nay, he wanted the beast to know the truth.
“You don’t know anything,” he growled. “You’ve taken everything from me. First it was my security, then it was my mother and my dignity. Then six months ago you razed a ship called the White Dove, do you remember it?”
“Aye, I recall it. It was a Patriot blockade runner and I did what was necessary to secure the interests of the Crown. Why do you care about it?”
“Because on that ship was the only father I ever knew and you killed him.”
A single tear ran down Wallingford’s cheek. “I’m truly sorry, Jack. I did not know.”
Jack stood back in confusion at the sincerity.
Wallingford walked over to his desk and slid open a drawer. He pulled out an ivory-handled dagger and laid in on the desk. “Go ahead. Kill me. You might as well, and I certainly deserve it.”
Stepping forward, Jack reached for it.
Just as he was about to take it into his hand, he pulled back.
Lorelei had bought his life with her integrity and he wasn’t about to let his father take that as well.
“You’re not worth it.”
Wallingford drew a ragged sigh of relief. “I’ve said my piece, Jack, and I hope that someday you might find it in your heart to let go of the hatred you feel for me.”
“They tell me anything’s possible given time.” And with that, Jack turned and walked out the door.
Why did you lie, Lori?” Justin asked as soon as they were alone in a small cabin.
Lorelei reached up and touched his cheek. Poor, precious Justin. He’d lost weight, and deep circles marred his eyes. “You’ve been worried about me, haven’t you?”
“Of course I have,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for fear of what that monster was doing to you.”
Guilt gnawed at her. He’d been terrified while she, for the most part, had been enjoying herself. “Jack’s not so bad, really.”
Justin was aghast. “How can you say that?”
She looked away from him, her heart heavy. She didn’t want to hurt Justin. Ever.
But to tell him the truth would crush him.
“After all this, do you still wish to marry me?” she asked him.
“Of course I do. Why…” His voice trailed off as color suffused his cheeks. “If he’s laid a hand on you I swear I’ll—”
“Bleed all over him?”
His look turned murderous.
She stifled the smile that was on the edge of her lips. “I’m sorry, Justin. It’s just that I saw your fi
ght and though I love you still, I…”
Reality dawned on him. His eyes widened, and horror mixed with disbelief shone in his eyes. “Nay, Lori. Tell me ’tis not true.”
“I wish I could, but I love him, too.”
His face turned a shade darker. “So much so that you would cast me aside for him?”
Lorelei pulled away from him. Clenching her hands together, she diverted her gaze to the floor. “I’m not casting you aside, Justin. It’s just—”
He placed a finger over her lips to silence her. “Say nothing more. I don’t want to hear it. I knew how you felt the moment I saw your face when you begged me not to hurt him. Does he know how you feel?”
Refusing to meet his gaze, she murmured, “I don’t know.”
“Well, at least tell me he loves you.”
“I wish I could.”
“Oh, Lori,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “You know how much I love you, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was relieved by your news.”
Stunned, she looked up at him. “Relieved?”
“Aye, relieved that he didn’t hurt you and relieved that you no longer wish to marry me.”
“Why?”
He pulled away from her and offered her a tender smile. “I’m not what you need. I’ve known that all along, but you seemed to want me so badly that I couldn’t disappoint you. The truth is, you’re so lively and daring. I’m just simple Justin who likes to sit quietly while you have always wanted to be the center of attention. Not that that’s bad. It’s part of why I love you so. But you could never be truly happy with me. And after a time, I am quite certain my boring ways would begin to wear on even your gracious patience.”
Her throat tight, she offered him a gentle smile. “You’re such a wonderful man.”
“But not wonderful enough,” he said with a sigh. “Go on, get out of here before I change my mind. Go get your pirate.” He urged her to the door.
Lorelei turned around to face him. “Thank you.”
His eyes were sad, but he kissed the tip of his finger, then touched the tip of her nose. “Tell him to be good to you, or I shall be forced to bleed on his boots.”
She laughed, then he opened the door and pushed her out.
Lorelei reached the deck just a few steps behind Jack. He was heading for the ship’s boat. Forgetting her role of lady, she ran across the deck and grabbed his arm. “Hello.”
Surprise flickered across his face. “What are you doing here?”
She hesitated. Something wasn’t right. Jack looked troubled and…well, he looked lost. “I’m going with you.”
He looked around them, then shook his head. “You don’t belong with me.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Woman, would you for once see reason. Go home.”
She reached to touch him. “But Jack—”
He moved away from her hand. “But nothing. I don’t want you near me, and I don’t want you touching me. I don’t want anything from you except for you to leave me alone!”
She flinched as tears stung her eyes, yet she refused to cry. Refused to let him see how much his words hurt her.
Then her anger set in. She had stared two men she loved in the face and told them a complete lie. She had given Jack his life and this was her reward?
To the devil with him, if that was his attitude.
“Fine then. Leave. You’re quite right, I’m home now. ’Tis where I belong. Where I am safe from the likes of you.”
Something flickered in his eyes a moment before his gaze hardened. He stepped past her and left the ship behind.
At first Lorelei couldn’t believe he’d really left her. Not until she forced herself to walk numbly to the railing and look out at him being rowed back to shore.
It was only then the full impact hit her. Jack was gone.
He didn’t care for her. And worst of all, while he was everything in the world to her, she was absolutely nothing to him.
18
Jack didn’t dare look back. He could feel Lorelei’s eyes on him as if it were a physical touch and he knew if he turned around, he wouldn’t be able to leave her. Especially not when the only thing he really wanted was to have her soothe the pain that was pounding through every fiber of his being.
You have to leave her.
And he did. She deserved so much more than he could ever offer her.
This was for her own good. She belonged with her own kind. People who knew how to love someone. People who knew…
He didn’t finish the thought. Too much had happened this day and he hadn’t considered what being face-to-face with his father would cost him emotionally. Right now he was in turmoil and didn’t know how to escape it. He just wanted to run away.
Nay, he needed time to think, to sort through this maelstrom of emotions.
Two days later, Lorelei sat alone in her cabin. Inside herself she wept constantly, and it was getting harder and harder not to let her sadness out, especially when Justin would visit with her. He was so kind and understanding. So forgiving and dear.
Why couldn’t he make her heart pound the way Jack did?
Why, oh why wasn’t it Justin’s scent that haunted her?
And over the last two days she’d discovered just how right Jack had been. She would never have had a happy life with Justin. They would have gotten along for a time, but after awhile their difference in personality would have destroyed that bond.
As her grandmother so often said, ’twas one thing to love a man, ’twas entirely another to live with one.
“Oh, Jack,” she whispered, “Why couldn’t you love me?” She drew a ragged sigh as she sat alone at the small desk sketching a picture of the man who had haunted her day and night. Then, out of spite, she placed two horns on his head and a dark circle about his left eye.
“Lorelei?” Justin called from outside her door.
She shoved the paper into a small pigeonhole. “Yes?”
He opened the door and leaned in. “There’s something on deck you need to see.”
She frowned at him. “What?”
Justin looked like a small child who had glimpsed an early Christmas present and was trying to keep it a secret. “You’ll have to see it to believe it.”
Perplexed, she rose and followed him topside.
The crew stood ready at their cannons while Admiral Wallingford stared out with his telescope. Looking in the direction he faced, she saw a sloop gaining speed on them.
Only it wasn’t just any sloop. It was Morgan’s.
“They’ve raised the white flag, Admiral,” a youth called from the crow’s nest.
The admiral lowered the telescope and looked to where Lorelei and Justin were standing. “Should I order them blasted from the sea?” he asked.
Lorelei gasped. “Nay.”
“I somehow thought you might protest such a move.” The admiral turned to his men. “Stand ready to defend, but do not fire upon your lives unless I state so.”
“Aye, sir!” they shouted in military unison.
Uncertain, Lorelei watched as the ship drew closer.
How had the admiral known it was Morgan’s ship approaching? It hadn’t been near the harbor the day he arrived.
As if knowing her thoughts, the admiral stepped forward and whispered into her ear. “I saw Ja—” He paused and cleared his throat. “Jacob,” he pronounced slowly, as if catching himself in a slip, “on the deck.”
Lorelei stared up at him in disbelief.
He knew!
A moment of horror filled her as she wondered if Justin had betrayed her. And if Justin had betrayed her, why hadn’t the admiral ordered Jack taken?
“Is this a trap for him?” she asked, unable to see another reason.
The admiral shook his head.
Unable to comprehend another reason for his mercy, she watched as he walked back to his place and waited for the Roseanna to approach.
Once Morgan’s ship was broadside, Jack shouted, “Permission to come ab
oard, sir.”
The admiral waited several heartbeats before he answered. “Come aboard if you’re able.”
Jack let fly a huge, iron grappling hook. It caught and wrapped around the mizzen mast. Lorelei gaped as Jack jumped from the upper deck of Morgan’s ship and swung to the main deck a few feet in front of her.
He looked marvelous to her. His long blond hair was free and blowing about his roguish face. He wore a black pair of breeches and high black boots. His white linen shirt was open at the neck and his long, green waistcoat was left unbuttoned and hanging open.
An urge to rush into his arms seized her. All she wanted was to feel his arms about her and have him pull her into a fierce kiss.
But beneath that urge was an even greater one to kick him. After all, he’d left her harshly and she did have her pride.
Jack paused just before her. So close that she could smell the crisp, clean scent of him. “You’re angry with me, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Why would you think that?” she responded tartly. “I actually enjoy being snapped at and then left behind.” Lorelei eyed him with suspicion. “Why are you here?”
He smiled that smile that had never failed to warm her and make her breathless and weak.
Jack gestured like some great stage actor. “Down in the valley, leaves fall from trees, the branches are bare.” He sighed and brought his hands together over his chest as he gave her a forlorn stare. “All the flowers have faded, their blossoms once so beautiful. The frost attacks many herbs and kills them. I grieve. But if the winter is so cold, there must be new joys. Help me sing a joy a hundred thousand times greater than the buds of May. I will sing of roses on the red cheeks of my lady….” He took her hand. “Could I win her favor, this lovely lady would give me such joy that I would need no other.”
“What are you saying?”
He lifted her chin with his knuckle. “Noble lady, I ask nothing of you save that you should accept me as your servant. I will serve you as a good lord should serve, whatever the reward may be. Here I am, then, at your orders, sincere and humble, gay and courteous. You are not, after all, a bear or lion, and would not kill me, surely, if I put myself between your hands.”
Master of Seduction Page 26
