by Heller, JB
The tips of his fingers linger on my cheek, and I lean into his touch. “I know, but I just had to tell you.”
A small smile shifts at the corner of his lips. “I wish I was more. If I could change anything in my life, that would be it. I’d be more, better, so I could be good enough for you.”
My bottom lip wobbles as my tears begin to fall. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to change anything about you. Not one little thing. I love you, Hux, as you are, right now in this moment. My wish is that you could see yourself through my eyes.”
Hux shrugs. “You’re just saying that because of the orgasms. I’ve addled your brain with climaxes. It was my plan all along.”
I take the hint of his not-so-subtle subject change and drop the topic. I’ve said what I needed to. There’s nothing more I can do but enjoy my last week with him.
So, I roll my eyes back in my head and groan, “Oh, God, I totally fell for it.” Then, I shift quickly so my boobs are pressing up under his chin, and he starts laughing. “Don’t laugh. I’m seducing you. If you can use orgasms to alter my thoughts, I can use my boobs to bend you to my will.”
“You don’t even have to try, beautiful. I’d do anything for you, even if you weren’t molesting me with your breasts right now,” he says with a gorgeous grin.
My heart melts then begins to fracture. I smile through the pain leeching from my heart and spreading throughout my body one excruciating inch at a time. I jump to my feet. “Gotta pee!” I say then dash out of the room.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I quickly turn on the tap to drown out the sound of the sob that rips from my chest. I’ve known from the beginning that he was leaving. I also knew it would be hard to say goodbye.
But this … this ache that is consuming my entire body … I never expected it to hurt this much.
A soft knock comes from the other side of the door. “El, you okay?”
I take a few deep, steadying breaths then call back, “Yep. When you gotta go, you gotta go. You know?”
I bet he’s on the other side of that door, scratching the side of his neck right now, wondering if I actually had to pee or if I’m having some kind of nervous breakdown. I flush the toilet and wash my hands under the still-running tap, just to make my lie a little more believable, before swinging the door open.
Hux is leaning against the opposite wall, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, looking at his sneaker-covered feet. He glances up when I open the door fully, and I know he doesn’t believe my poor attempt at lying.
“I knew this would happen. I should have stayed away. I’m sorry, El.” A self-deprecating laugh shudders from his chest. “Guess my old man was right. Causing pain is all I’m good for.”
I launch myself at him and take his face in my palms. “You have made me happier than I’ve ever been, Hux. Don’t say shit like that about yourself. Your dad is a selfish prick. But despite him, you’ve turned into this amazing human being who takes my breath away with your appreciation of the little, seemingly inconsequential things in life.”
His eyes are on mine, and I can see right inside him.
“I love you,” I whisper then push up on my tippy toes so I can press my mouth to his kissable lips.
“I love you too,” he says right before he takes over the kiss and switches our positions, putting me against the wall.
Wrapping my legs around his waist and sliding my hands into his scruffy hair, I moan when I feel him harden between my legs. “No more talking. It’s depressing. I want you inside of me, Hux, now, please,” I beg.
He gives me a slight nod as he pulls me away from the wall then carries me back to the bedroom, where he gives me a few more of those mind-altering orgasms.
Chapter Sixteen
I took my final exam on Friday afternoon, and it was a cakewalk. Eliza’s study technique obviously worked wonders. Just thinking about it makes me smile, and I know the memory of her will never leave me.
A part of me hoped the exams would be more challenging. Maybe then I’d have a reason to stay a little longer if I had to retake them.
But I knew I’d aced everything before Principal Robson even opened his mouth when he had called me into his office this morning. He smiled at me and reached across his desk to shake my hand, telling me how impressed he was with my dedication to my education.
I’d held back my snort, but only just. My dedication had nothing to do with education and everything to do with getting the hell out of here.
And now I was regretting just how committed I’d been to that endeavor.
Because tomorrow, I’m leaving.
I bought the shitty run-around truck off Johnno after I finished work yesterday. It’s good on fuel, and I figure I can camp in the bed until I decide on a place to settle. Walking off the job site was bittersweet.
I’ve packed all my shit—not that I have much. I’m only taking my clothes, my pictures, my laptop, and my camera. Nothing else here holds any value to me except Eliza. And I can’t take her.
The idea of bringing her with me did enter my mind last week when she told me she’d come if I asked. But I can’t do that to her. She has the makings of a great life here. She has friends, and more importantly, she has a family that loves her. I would never take her away from that.
And since I can’t have her by my side, I’ve taken a shit-ton of photos of her. They are the only thing of her I’ll be taking with me. I’ve backed up every single one of them onto USB drives as well as my crappy laptop—even the ones that are out of focus. I can’t bring myself to delete a single one of them.
On my way home from work, I’d stopped in at the mall to pick something up for her. A keepsake of some sort. I had no idea what I was looking for until I saw it.
Her words from last weekend echoed in my head: ‘You’ve turned into this amazing human being who takes my breath away with your appreciation of the little, seemingly inconsequential things in life’. I knew she was talking about my photos and my obsession with finding beauty in the most unlikely of places.
I picked out a mint-green mini Polaroid camera and a case to keep it in. I knew she would get my reference to her mint-colored underwear that I’m so fond of.
An hour later, as I’m sitting on the edge of my bed in my now empty room, a wave of apprehension washes over me. Am I doing the right thing?
Then, I think of my dad, and I know that I have no other choice. For both our sakes, I need to leave. He deserves peace, and for once in my miserable life, so do I.
With my confidence back in place, I stand, taking one last look around at the bare walls. And when I turn back to the doorway, he’s standing there, his eyes flicking around the vacated space then coming to land on me.
“Going somewhere?” he asks.
Sliding my hands to rest on my hips, I stand at my full height, which brings me to his level. He raises a brow, and I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m leaving. You won’t have to look at me ever again.”
His brows scrunch together. “You’re still in school.”
I shake my head. “I took my final exam earlier today. I’m done.”
For the first time ever, I see my father look at me with something akin to concern in his eyes. “Where you going to go, boy?”
Shrugging my shoulder, I glance out the window. “I’m not sure. Just away.”
When I turn my attention back to him, he’s nodding. “You need money or anything?”
I frown. Is he? No. “What?”
“You heard me,” he says gruffly.
I can’t believe I’m actually hearing this. “Are you kidding me? You’ve done absolutely everything you could to make sure I knew just how much you despise me, and now, now, you’re offering me money. What the fuck?”
A sneer I’m more than familiar with lifts his top lip. “If it gets you out of my life, then it’s money well spent.”
And there he is. “I don’t need anything from you. I’ll be taking more than enough emotional baggage with me, so I’m good. Th
anks,” I say as I push past him, walk down the hallway, and out of the only place I’ve ever lived but was never my home.
I’m supposed to be meeting El at the stream, but as I pull up on the side of the road, I hear thunder roll overhead. She’s already here, and I park behind her Rover then make my way through the trees to the clearing.
My jaw drops as I take in the sight before me. “What? What is all this?” I ask as I look around at what is normally just a small patch of grass by the stream.
El turns around and smiles at me. “You like it? I wanted to make it … I don’t know. It sounds cliché to say special, but yeah, I guess that’s what I was going for.”
It’s incredible. She’s set up a teepee-style tent. In front of it, a blanket is laid out with a pizza box and a cooler filled with God knows what, but I don’t even care. The trees surrounding the clearing are filled with little lights, and she’s put out solar lanterns around the blanket.
I have no words. I stand there, dumbfounded for a moment, before I reach into my pack and pull out my camera. I snap one shot: Eliza waiting for me in the middle of the blanket surrounded by the twinkling lights in the trees around her. And the look on her face speaks louder than her words ever could.
I put my camera away then close the distance between us, lightly tossing my pack inside the tent as I reach her. When my hands are free, I cup her face in my palms and look down into her eyes. “I …” I try to speak, but I can’t find the right words. So, I kiss her instead.
She pushes up on her tiptoes and grips my shoulders as I slowly run my tongue along the line of her pouty bottom lip then slide it inside her wet mouth and revel in the taste of her one last time.
It doesn’t take long before I need more of her. So, I grip her hips, lifting her until she wraps her legs around my waist, then I drop to my knees on the blanket she’s laid out. I lower her to the ground, and my body follows hers like a magnet.
“Hux,” she whispers, “I’m going to miss you every damn day.”
Another piece of my soul splinters off, deciding to stay with her rather than me. I haven’t been whole for a long time, but I’d rather be broken because of her than my father. So, I smile down at her, knowing she will always have a piece of me. “I love you,” I tell her, and she rewards my confession with one of her brilliant smiles.
I have no desire to rush with her tonight—not on our last night together. I plan on taking my time, slowly devouring every succulent inch of her delectable body.
Apparently, El isn’t as down with taking it slow, and she shoves at my chest until I sit up on my haunches.
“I need you inside me now. We can do slow later, but right now … right now I need you.”
Her words spur me into action, and my shirt is up and over my head in a flash. By the time I go for my belt buckle, Eliza has already shucked her little white dress and is lying back, watching me. And goddamn, she’s wearing my favorite mint-green lace set. I lick my lips, remembering the first time I saw her just like this. I abandon my efforts with my belt and drop between her thighs.
She squeals out. “No! Pants off fir …” But her words trail off as my tongue laps at her sweet pussy over her lace underwear.
Her back arches, lifting her hips farther into my face, and I fucking love it. How she melts for me at the slightest touch. I love that only I get to see her like this. That the look on her face right now belongs to me.
As my tongue laves at her folds over the lace, I slide two fingers beneath it and inside her tightness. Her pussy clamps around them, and my cock twitches, wishing it was where my fingers were right now.
Sitting back on my haunches again, I keep my fingers inside her, pumping and grazing against that spot that drives her wild while I finish unbuckling my belt, pop the button, and slide the zipper down to release myself.
El’s shuddering and biting down on her bottom lip, her eyes closed tight as she barrels toward orgasm. I grip my dick and start pumping my fist in time with my fingers inside her pussy. Pleasure sparks in my balls as I watch her squirm.
When her eyes flash open, landing on my fist wrapped tightly around my cock while I’m jacking myself off, she comes on a husky moan. “Hux!”
I follow her right over the edge, spilling into my hand.
I love watching her like this. I could literally watch her come all day long—as long as I’m the one making her do it, that is. I frown at that thought. It’s a reality I’ve always been aware of but distinctly blocked from my mind.
Come tomorrow morning, I won’t have any claim to her. A rock settles in the pit of my stomach, and I close my eyes to block out the train of my thoughts before I ruin this for both of us. Because fuck, if I don’t want the clichéd special one last time with her.
Chapter Seventeen
After riding me so hard my eyes roll into the back of my head as I blow my load, Eliza rolls off of me and picks up the box of pizza. “Hungry?” she asks with a devious grin.
That belongs to me too. That grin.
We eat the pizza in silence, Eliza snuggling against my chest, now wearing my T-shirt, and I’ve never been so happy. I reach back into the tent to grab my camera out of my pack and hold it above us, taking a selfie.
I don’t bother checking if it was a decent shot. I’ll keep it regardless.
The thunder I’d heard earlier rolls in the sky above us once again as drops of water sporadically fall. Eliza’s eyes light up. “I love electrical storms.”
“You do?”
She nods, and I relish the feel of her silky tresses brushing over my bare skin. “Yep. I love the way the sky lights up and the smell of the rain. Nothing beats that smell. It’s fresh, and sweet, and new.”
She closes her eyes, turning her face up to the sky as another drop falls, followed by a hundred more. She doesn’t move to get in the tent and out of the rain. Instead, she snuggles closer to me and sighs with contentment.
If I could freeze time and capture this absolutely perfect moment, I would. This right here is my definition of a moment of beauty. Sitting on a blanket in the rain with the most amazing person I’ve ever met.
I kiss her temple and slide my hand under the edge of my shirt that looks more like an oversized dress on her small frame. Closing my eyes, I tip my head back, letting the rain soak me to the core. But I don’t feel cold. Not with Eliza in my arms.
I’m not sure how long we sit like that, but El’s soft lips on my throat snap me out of my daze. I look down into her eyes. They’re deep and soulful. She never tries to hide herself from me, and I can see right inside her.
I cup her cheek, my eyes not shifting from hers, as tiny water droplets cling to her long lashes. When she blinks, it’s in slow motion, and the droplets slide down and over her smooth cheek, coming to rest at the edge of her full top lip.
Leaning down, I lick at it and taste the perfect mix of Eliza and the sweetness of the rain. I wish I could bottle it.
My free hand slides around her hip, and in a move I’ve performed with her many times now, I switch our places so I’m on top of her. She got her way before, and we fucked hard and fast, but now it’s my turn, and I want to savor it.
I start at her toes. I touch each of them, tracing the lines to her heels and up her firm calves. I pause at her knees and kiss the soft skin there then slide my tongue along the crease behind them before moving up her thighs.
Spreading my hands out so I can touch as much of her as possible, my palms glide up her silky smooth, wet flesh. My shirt is now plastered to her body like a second layer of skin, and I peel it off as slowly as everything else I’m doing.
She can’t lie still. She fidgets and twitches.
“You okay, El?” I ask quietly by her ear then trace the shell of it with the tip of my tongue.
A shiver rolls down her body, and I feel it with my own.
“Yes,” she says, nodding as she lifts her hand to trace my body the way I’m doing to hers.
I grab a condom from my open pack just ins
ide the tent, tear it open, and roll it down my aching dick.
I’m looking into her eyes as I finally slide inside her, and she bites down on her lower lip. It takes all my willpower not to pick up my pace but to enjoy the slow push and pull of our bodies as we move together. The thunder overhead continues to roll, and lightning flashes somewhere in the distance, surrounding us in purple light.
As the storm moves closer, the thunder becomes louder, our bodies continue to grind, our mouths continue to taste, and our breaths continue to come in pants that mingle together the way our bodies are.
Sweat coats me even though it’s raining hard now, but nothing has ever felt as good as this. One of Eliza’s legs is curled around one of mine, and her arms are holding on to my back, her nails digging into my flesh.
“I love you,” she cries as her body begins to shake and shudder.
I can’t hold back my own release when her pussy squeezes me so tightly and pulses in time with my thrusts. “Love you,” I grunt as I come with her.
This will forever be etched in my brain as the most beautiful moment of my entire life. Nothing will ever top it.
Sliding out of her warmth, I miss the closeness already. I swallow down the emotion that rises inside of me and reach a hand out to her. She takes it, and we stand. Naked. In the rain. In the clearing by the stream where we first spoke.
Looking at her, I have to kiss her. Sliding my hands into her drenched locks, I hold on like I could hold her like this forever. And I wish … I wish I could.
When I finally release her, her eyes are shining with tears. “I’m going to miss this,” she says with a sad smile.
I don’t respond. Instead, I tug her inside the tent then into my arms when I lie down on the air bed she has set up in there.
