by Lauren Dane
“They say he tried to kill her. That she was fine before that, but his death pushed her over the edge and that’s what sent her addiction into a death spiral.”
“That was seven years ago? The edge they mean?” Rachel asked. She needed to poke around a little to see what these parents were up to. The mother had muttered something about the Orlovs trying to steal someone’s money as she’d gotten in the car earlier.
Rachel wanted to do some research so she could get some basic answers to her questions without making anyone upset. The last thing she wanted to do was make Irena sad.
She wanted to protect the Orlovs and in order to do so, she needed to see more of the big picture.
“I am not a fool,” Irena said. “I know what Danil was. Even from an early age he had trouble with limits. He was hard to manage but so good at telling you what you wanted to hear until you believed it. And after a time it was that I was too tired not to believe it. They did the drugs together, you understand?”
Rachel nodded. “Even if he had been a mustache-twirling villain, it’s not about you. They don’t get to hurt you like this. You’ve been hurt enough.”
“What’s enough? When you lose a child what is enough to hurt?”
Rachel fought back her own emotion as she leaned to touch Irena’s arm. “It doesn’t mean you torture yourself forever. I didn’t know Danil, but I know Vicktor and I know Evie and I can’t imagine Danil would want you to punish yourself like this.”
“What kind of mother’s son kills himself that way?” Irena whispered.
“Tens upon thousands of mothers’ sons and daughters. Wives and husbands. Sisters, brothers, cousins, neighbors and friends. The opioid epidemic is killing tens of thousands and it doesn’t care about how much you loved your son. But you did. You did all you could. Knowing what you did at the time. You did all you could according to your ability. That’s literally all you can do.”
“It’s one thing to hear it and understand it. It’s another thing to believe it in your heart.”
“I know. That’s the struggle. To believe what you know is true. I’m sorry they upset you,” Rachel told her. “I wish I could make it all go away.” It tore her up to see Irena this upset. That’s when she realized Irena had become a mother to her in a very real way. Rachel was more emotionally connected and invested with Irena than she’d ever been with her biological mother.
Jeez. She was checking off a lot in the life lessons category today.
“When Danil died, everything went dark for a while. I had so much to do, two other kids to love and care for, a husband, a job. But I just...” Irena held her hands up. “It sort of drifted away through my fingers. It was Vicktor who set aside everything in his life to help. He held the bakery together. He takes this very hard.”
“I understand about everything being dark for a while. I’ve lived through similar darkness. As for the rest, well, Vicktor is proof of what an amazing mother you are and how much you love your children. Of course he held the bakery together, that’s who you raised him to be.” Vic was a good man.
Irena’s sly gaze was back, which despite being slightly terrifying, cheered Rachel up.
She grinned at Vic’s mom. “What are you up to?”
Irena laughed, putting aside her mending to hug Rachel.
“That’d be telling. But I do approve of the way you talk about Vityunya. Let’s go back into the living room. Pasha will be worried.”
* * *
“IS IT ALL right with you if I look into this whole thing with your brother’s overdose and whatever this current attack might be inspired by?” Rachel asked Vic as Evie allowed Irena to cluck over her and spoil her with a BLT, one of her favorite things to eat.
He said, “You don’t have to. I don’t want to bring more drama into your life.” She saw the stress on his features. The helpless worry there. It tugged at her.
The last thing she wanted was for him to feel caught between her and his parents. Especially when she just wanted to help share his load the way he’d done with her.
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to. I can do this. I’ve got the skills and some good connections and it’ll help me get things straight in my head so I can best offer my help for the next step.”
For a while he studied her features until he finally sighed and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Then thank you. Let me know if I can help.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“SO, ANY TIPS about Alexsei’s mom you want to give me so I can pass them on all sly to Maybe?” Rachel asked Vic.
It had always seemed to Rachel that Alexsei was far closer to Irena, who’d been raising him since his teens, than his biological mother who still lived in Moscow with her gangster husband.
She always kept the gangster part in her head. But she wasn’t stupid. Given the details she’d heard about Polina’s lifestyle and the identity of her current husband, it wasn’t difficult to put it together.
A simple internet search brought up more than enough to confirm her suspicions.
Rachel didn’t feel entirely comfortable about it, but as long as no crimes happened and she didn’t became aware of any, she’d keep her opinions to herself.
Unless asked.
She was, however, not above getting some insider dirt on how her sister might impress the woman who would one day be her mother-in-law.
Things had gotten so deep and serious between Maybe and Alexsei over the last few months, Rachel didn’t think it would be too much longer before they started to talk marriage.
“Alexsei knows how to handle her better than anyone else,” Vic said as he refilled her wine. They were trying out a new pizza place within walking distance of their neighborhood and so far it had been a hit.
“She and Mom will be happy the first hour and from then on it’ll be waves of them fighting. Usually because Polina is a self-centered, selfish bitch who is at best only barely interested in her sons’ lives. Sons who know my mother better than their own.”
Rachel rarely saw Vic get this worked up and pissed off at someone other than her father and people who put raisins in salad.
“Sometimes it can be complicated between sisters,” Rachel said as she grabbed another garlic knot.
He sniffed, indignant. “Yes. And my mother is not always the easiest person to deal with and in Polina’s world, she is queen. She comes here expecting that and lets everyone know she’s not getting what she expected.”
“And your mother is the opposite type of person.”
“Yes. That. You met her once when she was here last year. What was your impression?” he asked.
“Generally I share yours. It’s difficult for me to imagine what Cristian and Alexsei would be like if they’d grown up with her instead of your parents. Your mom likes to fix things. Likes to help people.” Which didn’t mean Irena didn’t like to be a little martyr sometimes. And like Polina, Vic’s mom was queen of her world, though in a totally different way.
Rachel continued. “But my sister is in love with Alexsei and though he holds your mother as number one in his heart, he still wants Polina to approve of his life. Maybe wants that approval too, because it would please Alexsei. She too, in case you hadn’t noticed, holds your mother as number one in her heart. And Maybe is my little sister and I want her to have the things that make her happy because she always puts everyone else first.”
“Make sure Maybe gives her a good gift with some sort of visible brand on it,” he said. “And bring flowers to pick her up from the airport. Send flowers to her room too.”
“Okay, that can all happen easily enough. Maybe and I had a shopping date tomorrow anyway so we’ll grab the present then. Flowers too as she’s coming in on a late evening flight.” Rachel grinned. “Thanks for all the info. It was really helpful and it’ll give Maybe something to do about all her anxiety. She wants to be su
re she’s not making your mom feel bad either. So I figure I’ll give your mom a little extra love, which will hopefully keep the peace a little more. I’ll give her a present and some flowers too. Not when we’re all together though.”
An itching started at the back of her neck. Something was off. She looked up from her plate.
Vic responded to the change in her body language immediately. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Want another slice? They have gelato on the menu if you’re feeling like something sweet.”
She looked around the restaurant, toward the two doors and the wall of windows in between that looked out over the street beyond. Nothing inside looked out of place.
“Nothing. It’s fine,” she said, flicking most of her attention away from the world outside and back to him. “I’m just catching movement from outside. Just one of those things. Sometimes that part of me just turns on and I notice something feels off.” One last survey of the room and she let it go for the time being.
“It’s sexy that you’re so capable and badass,” he told her as he stole the last slice.
Some might call it paranoid but she appreciated his ability to see everything about her as sexy.
“I know you normally work at least one weekend day, but if it’s far enough in advance maybe you could shift your schedule around?”
“Are you asking me to do something over a weekend?” she asked.
“Yes. Not this weekend as we have the engagement dinner for Seth and Cris on Saturday and the welcome party in Polina’s honor on Friday. Cristian told me the engagement dinner isn’t changing again.” Polina had canceled her plans to visit twice now. But this time she’d actually made plane and hotel reservations so it looked like this was the real deal.
“In three weeks. At the end of April. We drive out on a Friday afternoon, stay in a hotel that night so we can hike in first thing Saturday to the campsite. We won’t need to pack in tents because we’ve reserved yurts up there. You and I would have our own, by the way.”
“So we don’t bother anyone with our midnight games of Scrabble?” she asked.
“Loser has to make the winner come first,” he said.
“Or we could skip the board games and just have a lot of sex. In a yurt. Which sounds like the ingredients for a dirty limerick.”
“We kayak that afternoon. Something else we don’t have to deal with bringing in. Plenty of fish to catch for dinner. We hike out Sunday afternoon and come home that night.”
“There should be some excellent birding too. I’m in good shape and all, but a multiple day hike? What’s the skill level here?”
“Intermediate. Most of the hike is relatively flat but there are a few inclines. Kayaking is pretty lazy. It’s mainly a way to get around to look at all the wildlife around the shore. I think you can handle it no problem at all. And, since I’m being honest here, I’d really like you to meet my friends and they want to meet you too.”
She could study the trail map so she was familiar with the area once they arrived. It’d give her some measure of control too.
“I can do that, yeah. It sounds good.” She paused.
She’d gone and done what she’d said she was going to do and had looked at the circumstances around Danil’s death. It wasn’t too hard to dig up the basics. The years of attempts to get clean with times of intermittent sobriety. A juvenile record that’d been sealed but she was able to get the information from Alexsei. The girlfriend had been around since middle school on and off, like the sobriety. She hadn’t been with Danil when he’d overdosed as she’d been arrested earlier that same day. Danil had done her share of the heroin too and that’s what had been the final nail in his coffin.
“What?” he asked.
“I just wanted you to know I’d done the research into your brother’s overdose. I couldn’t see any reason for them to feel as if Danil is in the wrong here. She’s still alive. Reportedly clean and doing a fifteen-month jaunt behind bars. There’s nothing immediately obvious to point to why they’ve surfaced now instead of their normal time in the fall.”
And what assholes these people were to harass Irena and Pavel when they were the ones who’d lost a child while theirs was still alive.
“I spoke to Seth yesterday about this and he’s looking into it as well. It’s a positive to have him informed and he adores your parents.”
“They approve of him for Cristian. They’re both so different, but they fit. Cris brings more whimsy into Seth’s life while Seth helps Cris keep his dreams on track. They’re both strong. Naturally my mother approves of Seth being a cop.”
“While Polina is not so excited?” Rachel said.
Vic snorted. “Consider the source. But, to be fair, there are massive problems with government corruption in Russia,” he allowed.
After he finished and they’d settled up the bill he kissed her temple. “Thank you for keeping an eye on my parents.”
“And you. Sometimes it’s all a matter of finding exactly what the problem is and fixing it. Like is there something one of the parents needs to hear? A word or phrase? Not that your parents should do it or even worry about it because they’re the victims here. But if they could just get what they needed and finally fuck off and leave your parents alone that’d be a good option too.”
They began to walk back to his place.
“It’s helpful because while you obviously care about my family, you have some distance and yes, I know my parents would appreciate bringing a resolution to this,” Vic said as he took her hand, tucking her to his side farthest from the street.
His parents had raised him well and just because one of their kids made bad choices and something really awful happened to him didn’t undo what an amazing job they’d done with Evie, Vic, Alexsei and Cristian.
And still that itching remained at the back of her neck until they turned down the block his house was on.
At his house—where she’d promised to sleep over that night already—she stayed awake longer than normal. Tucked in a chair, sketching as Vic slept in his bedroom not too far away she’d kept watch on the street outside.
Nothing else had made her feel uncomfortable in the hours since they’d left the restaurant but it was difficult to let go of. She was long past the nights where she’d had the shakes and left the lights and television on and if she got any sleep at all it’d been riddled with nightmares. But real-life monsters prowled the streets which was something she’d never forget.
* * *
“WHAT THE FUCK is a yurt?” Maybe asked her the next day as she looked through the wallets at a pricey leather goods store.
“It’s sort of a cross between a tipi and a tent. I looked it up online. It has a decent size bed in it. Shared bathrooms but at least they have bathrooms. Even showers though it’s still pretty rustic.”
“Sounds like hell on earth,” her sister muttered. “Naturally you’d find it awesome.”
“What about gloves?” Rachel pointed some out. “I lose mine every year so when she wears these she’ll think of you as someone who did something nice. Vic got me that pair for Valentine’s Day and I think of him every time I pull them from my pocket.”
“Unlike that ungrateful Seth who didn’t get her a present when she came here the last time,” Maybe joked.
“Ha! I’m going to guess he’s going to shower her with presents this time. He wants to make Cristian happy and he did mess up before,” Rachel said.
“Seven hundred dollars for a wallet. That’s beyond ridiculous,” Maybe said. “If Alexsei hadn’t given me the money and ordered me to spend it all on presents for his mom from this place we’d be out of here.”
“I’d buy you a seven-hundred-dollar wallet. If I had that much disposable income. Or maybe if it was your big birthday or a holiday present.” Rachel lifted a shoulder.
“Yeah but you love me. I barely even know this woman.
I’ve only spoken to her on the phone for like two minutes. Why should I give her a seven-hundred-dollar wallet just because I’m nailing her son?” Maybe asked, sounding a little hysterical.
“Well, it’s Alexsei’s money so it’s really a way for him to be sure you give her the correct offering and, as it’s ridiculous, he’s handling it. That’s what he should be doing.” Rachel took the wallet from her sister and put it back down, settling on a pair of gloves and a scarf with it. “We’ll take these. Please gift-wrap them,” Rachel told the clerk.
“Things could be worse. I could be Cristian and Seth’s party planner for this dinner on Saturday. Or Alexsei at all right now. Because Irena feels like having the dinner catered is an insult to her.”
“We need to get her presents too. Not from here. Let’s go to that kitchen store across the mall.”
Maybe nodded, handing over her credit card and then signing the receipt.
“While we’re here, stop by the florist on the ground floor and arrange to have flowers sent to Polina at her hotel while she’s here. The last day send her a corsage of some kind so she can wear it while she’s traveling. Or not, but you’d be playing dutiful and she can fly with that versus a vase of something. Seth has scheduled a massage for her and if I were you, I’d call over to the hotel and add a facial and a manicure to go with it.”
“You are so awesomely sneaky. No wonder the FBI wants you back. How did you find all this out?”
At the kitchen store, they picked out a new baking pan and some utensils. Rachel had noted a certain kind of ladle Irena had used but complained about the handle so she grabbed a replacement for it as well.
All thoughtful gifts that would let Irena know they cared and had truly thought of her. It wouldn’t embarrass her by being extravagant or useless either.
“I talked to Seth yesterday. Between you and him, Polina should be happy. Probably. Regardless, I think Cris and Alexsei will be pleased, which is what counts.”
“When we stop to deal with the flowers let’s go into that chocolate place and get a little something sweet for Irena. I want her to know she’s my favorite without making any trouble for Alexsei,” Maybe said. “I feel much better. Which is I’m sure what you’d planned from the start.”
