“Yeah, thanks, Dad,” little Sean murmured, a solid hand on his oar in case he needed to defend himself.
Though he knew Svala’s eyes went to him then returned to the scene drifting by them, Sean couldn’t look away from that awful morning. One like so many others but different because it threatened his dreams…and changed his perception of women.
His father shoved a fishing pole into Sean’s free hand and gestured at the water. “So let’s see whatcha got.” He took a swig from his flask and lit a cigarette. “Go on, boy. Let’s see if you can drive off fish as well as you did your mother.”
Just like Sean’s hand did now, little Sean’s hand trembled. Back then it was because he was afraid he wouldn’t catch a fish and get the shit beaten out of him. Now it was because he wanted to do the same thing to his father. In a show of unexpected support, Svala grasped his hand, jutted her chin out and glared at his father.
When little Sean cast his line, he remembered exactly what he was thinking at the time…praying. Please let me catch a fish. Please let this be over soon. It wouldn’t have really mattered if it was. The next damning words had stayed with him for life, had affected so much.
“Ma will never come home,” his father slurred. “Not if she’s got to deal with you. You’re worthless. Won’t amount to nothin’.” His father belched and pointed an angry finger at him. “Remember that, boy. There’s nothing to you. You’re worthless. You drive off women. So take what you can get when it’s available. They’ll love ya then leave ya. But something’s better than nothin’, eh? Be grateful for whatcha get because you ain’t worth…”
Sean shook his head, turned away and crossed his arms over his chest. What the hell was Grant up to? What was the point of this? He clenched his jaw against the painful memory as fog swept in again and the voices from his past vanished.
Svala said nothing at first, but he felt her tension and anger…even her sadness.
“I will not tell you I am sorry because you are above pity,” she eventually murmured. “You are better than…”
When she trailed off, he finally met her eyes. “Better than what? My father?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “And better than the things he tried to make you believe.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
He shook his head when the boat suddenly scraped something. “What the…” He turned and frowned as the vessel dragged alongside a familiar dock and skidded onto a familiar shore.
Svala’s eyes widened as the fog peeled away and the chalet became visible.
The old ash tree was no longer there. Or should he say yet to be there? Because Megan was standing on the deck looking out at the ocean. And she was at least twenty-five years younger.
Chapter Six
SEAN STAYED RIGHT behind her as Svala left the boat, unable to look at anything but her mother. She appeared so young, so vibrant.
“Remember, this is not real, Svala,” he murmured. “It’s a memory. It’s Grant’s magic.”
“Your memory, yes?” she said as she followed her mother inside.
“Yeah, I guess.”
They found Megan crouched with her cheek resting against the hull of an all-too-familiar small Viking ship. She knew this boat very well. Her mother and Sean had built it together a long time ago.
“This happened just a few years ago…in this era,” Sean said.
“She looks sad,” Svala said, trying to sound indifferent.
Sean nodded. “She was. Haunted by your father. Eager to meet a man she already loved.”
“How could she love someone she hadn’t even met?”
She knew the story well but wanted to hear Sean’s viewpoint.
He shrugged and leaned against the other side of the hull, watching Megan. “I dunno. Destiny, I suppose.”
“Destiny.” Svala fought the emotions the words invoked. How Mema Angie had told her in this very garage that Julie was Sean’s destiny. “I do not believe in such a thing.”
“Neither did I at the time.” His eyes stayed on her mother. “But after everything that’s happened, I’m starting to wonder.”
“Well, you shouldn’t,” she bit out as another version of Sean entered the garage and started talking to Megan. He had changed little in two years. Maybe less troubled around the eyes.
They couldn’t hear what was being said at first. Then they could as Sean’s words became crystal clear when he sat beside Megan.
“Hey, I understand more than most the whole idea of hearing what a person wants to hear instead of the reality of things,” he said. “And while I love the hell out of you being here, I know damned well you made some pretty big life changes when you moved to Winter Harbor.”
Megan looked skyward. “Don’t you start on me too.” Then she narrowed her eyes. “So what do you want to hear instead of the reality of things?” She sighed, clearly regretting her words. “Aw, shoot, Amber?”
Sean swigged his beer and nodded at the boat. “We gonna put her in the water soon?”
Megan knocked shoulders with him. “Way to evade the question.” She softened her voice as she eyed him. “I thought you were good with your arrangement with my sister?”
“Most days I am,” he said, voice rough. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want more sometimes.”
The sadness was obvious in her tone. “Who knows maybe one day down the line…”
“Naw, not Amber.” He stared at the boat. “She needs more adventure than I can offer her. More of a challenge.”
Then they faded away, leaving Sean and Svala alone.
Svala dragged her fingers lovingly along the boat’s hull, thinking about what she’d just heard…trying her best not to be jealous. “You sounded resolved about Aunt Amber.” Her eyes met his. “What was your arrangement with her?”
“It doesn’t matter now,” he grumbled, his eyes on the boat.
“I think it does, or Grant wouldn’t have shown us this.”
Sean shook his head and shrugged, his cedar eyes finally meeting hers. “I’m not sure what you wanna hear, sweetheart. That I loved Amber but she didn’t love me? That I waited around for her to come back again and again even though I knew damn well she would never stay?”
Svala started at the resolve in his eyes. The tone of his voice. The turbulence in his expression. Yet the interesting thing? She now knew where it came from. The root of why he waited around for Amber. Though it was years later, Sean still believed his father’s words. To hold onto a woman for as long as he could because she would eventually leave. Take what he could get. And he had, with Amber. For years.
Svala was about to say as much when a truck door slammed.
She and Sean looked at each other before Svala headed inside…and forward in time a bit it seemed. Sean and Amber were in the kitchen. Svala’s eyes widened on her aunt. Naturally, she was stunning at that age.
As it was with Megan, he spoke to Amber, but they couldn’t hear until they could.
“I need you right now,” Amber whispered to Sean, her eyes pleading with his. This wasn’t sexual but a need for emotional support.
Sean downed a beer, his eyes locked on Amber’s. When she stepped in his direction, he shook his head then nodded at the fridge. “Grab me another, please.”
Amber clenched her jaw, upset and grabbed him another. Her hand slipped into his as she leaned against the counter.
He handed something over and pulled away. “Listen, Amber…”
Amber’s eyes widened. “Are you really going to do this?”
“I can’t keep going on like this.” There was no mistaking the pain in Sean’s eyes. “Not with everything that could happen.”
Amber stared at him, shocked. “So you’re pushing me away when I need you the most.”
“Amber, you’ve been pushing me away for three years.” Sean hopped down from the counter and shook his head. “You want me around when it’s convenient. And that only seems to be when you’re here.�
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“You’ve always been fine with our arrangement.” Amber tried to refill her glass. “No.” She shook her head. “This isn’t about our so called arrangement. It’s because you think I might travel back in time. And don’t try to deny it.”
“Maybe partly,” he conceded and took the wine bottle when her hand shook too badly to pour. “But it’s definitely not the only reason.”
Sean finished pouring then met her eyes. “Did you honestly think I’d be okay spending the rest of my life only seeing you when you decide to visit Winter Harbor?”
Amber crossed her arms over her chest. “I hadn’t given it much thought.”
“And that’s half the problem right there,” he said softly. “Because I have.”
“Obviously.”
“I’m tired of watching you leave.”
Amber grabbed her wine and headed for the living room.
Yet it seemed he wasn’t quite finished because he joined her in front of the windows overlooking the bay. Amber sipped her wine, shook her head and kept her eyes on the moonlit water. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you,” she murmured. “It was never my intention. I thought we were having fun.”
Sean eyed her and shook his head. “Ya know it almost sounds like you believe your own words.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I know you better than most.” A compassionate frown settled on his face. “And I know you’re afraid of getting too involved with anyone because of your parents.”
“Oh, please,” she muttered and took another sip, mumbling before she gave it much thought. “I just haven’t found…”
When she trailed off, he said, “Haven’t found what Amber? The right guy for you? Love?”
Before she could respond, not emotional but physical pain flickered across his face, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he ill? Svala had heard nothing about that.
Aunt Amber pulled some pills from her pocket and handed them over. “Are you okay? You really should see a doctor.”
He downed them. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” She touched his arm. “Have you eaten today? Want me to make you something?”
He shook his head, pulled his arm away and headed over to the fire. He grabbed the poker and stoked the flames. His words were soft. “I’ve gotta let you go, sweetheart.”
Smoke billowed from the fire, wisped around the room then vanished much like the fog. The memory was gone. All that was left behind was Svala, Sean, the house, and his Christmas lit boat washed up on the shore outside.
Sean had sunk onto the couch, his head in his hands. Though tempted to sit next to him, it had been no easy thing watching what he’d once felt for Aunt Amber. Yet she had seen something else…learned things she didn’t know.
“I did not realize you ended it with Aunt Amber,” she said. “I thought it was the other way around.”
“It had to be done,” he muttered. “I should’ve done it long before then.”
“You were in physical pain with your head, yes?” she said. “Why?” Svala kept her emotions reigned in tight. “Did you have cancer too?”
Clearly sensing the distress she tried to hide, his eyes finally met hers. “No, Svala. I didn’t have cancer.” He ground his jaw. “I was just part of something confusing.”
“What?”
When Sean hesitated, she said, “Please tell me. I need to understand.”
Sean held her eyes for a moment. “Apparently, I was somehow bonded with Kol. Our souls.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I still barely understand it.”
Svala nodded, her eyes drifting to the fire. She had never been told the entire story of Aunt Amber and Uncle Kol coming together, and now she was starting to wonder why. Perhaps so that it would not taint her and her mate coming together. Whatever had happened, she sensed demi-god and seer magic mixed in. What truly surprised her, though, were Sean’s thoughts right now. They weren’t on Amber at all but on Svala’s reaction to everything she had just seen.
He was worried about her heart.
“Did you love Aunt Amber?” she said bluntly.
She wanted to know. Had to.
“Yes,” he said softly. Svala ignored the tightness in her chest as their eyes held.
“But not like you think,” he murmured and shook his head. “Cybil made me realize I might’ve not loved Amber as much as I thought I did.”
Svala scowled. “Cybil?”
“Yeah, Cybil.” Sean gave her a pointed look. “My friend and your new Viking Queen. Someone you haven’t been all that nice to according to your mom.”
“What did Cybil say to you about Aunt Amber?”
“She told me Amber wasn’t the love of my life.” He eyed her. “That the woman meant for me was still out there…and she was coming soon.”
Svala blinked as she considered the possibility that Cybil might have known they were meant for each other. Had she somehow manipulated her into coming here to meet Sean?
“The way I heard it, Cybil had nothing to do with it,” Sean said softly as if responding to her thoughts. “You just didn’t want to let your mom come back here alone.”
Her eyes shot to his. “You heard that?”
“What you just said about Cyb manipulating you?” He nodded. “Yeah.”
Though she wanted to close the distance, she just couldn’t. Not yet. Not so soon after seeing him care for another woman.
“I did not say those words, Sean.” Her eyes never left his. “I thought them.”
His brows drew together. “I don’t understand.”
Should she tell him? Or should she wait until they’d lain together? After that, he couldn’t refuse her. No man could. Yet a strange pit of unease formed in her stomach at the thought. Of him only wanting her because she pleased him in bed far better than any other female.
Uncertain, Svala shifted and eyed him.
“Svala.” His eyes narrowed. “What’s going on?”
“I…we…” she started, the words lingering in her mind and unable to roll off her tongue. What if he was disgusted? What if he rejected her?
“I won’t,” he said softly. “I wouldn’t.”
“What?” she said automatically.
“Reject you,” he murmured. “Or be disgusted by you.”
Their eyes held. He was inside her mind. Hearing her thoughts. There could be no doubt he was her mate. So why didn’t she just say it? Tell him? Take him?
But she knew why somewhere way in the back of her mind.
He was human.
And she was dragon.
That meant he had free will. Something dragons had to a degree but not like humans. A dragon’s heart was far more vulnerable because it was quicker to be enslaved by love.
Captured by its mate.
Svala’s eyes drifted outside to Sean’s boat, to the Christmas lights. It was better than holding his gaze and telling him the truth. How vulnerable she already was…had been for a while. Somewhere between her general sense of anger and inciting him endlessly, she’d ended up in the last place she wanted to be.
In love with her mate.
Chapter Seven
SEAN WASN’T SURPRISED when everything swirled away, and he and Svala ended up back on his boat. They were no longer on the Maine shoreline but cutting through choppy waves with nothing but Nick’s Christmas lights to lead the way.
It hadn’t been easy reliving everything he’d just seen. Yet somehow he understood himself better for having seen it again. Why he was so complacent with Amber. The long term impact his father’s hateful treatment had on his life.
“Yet you turned out stronger for it,” Svala murmured, her eyes not on him but his ship. “Look what you achieved despite what your father told you.” She eyed him with pride. “You were strong and did well. You were a warrior in your own right.”
“I don’t know about that.” Sean shook his head and rested his elbows on the railing. His eyes remained on the endless fog as he listened to the soothing
sound of his boat cutting through the water. Unmanned, it had a mind and destination of its own. If he didn’t respect Grant so much, he’d be a whole lot angrier.
Svala leaned back against the railing and kept eying his boat with admiration. “It is different than our ships at home but worth being proud of.”
Sean wasn’t done questioning her about the mind reading thing but was biding his time.
He quirked the side of his mouth. “I’m sure this boat can’t touch the workmanship of what you’re used to.”
“No,” she conceded and quirked the corner of her mouth as well. “But it has a nice sound and goes far faster without any manual labor.” Her grin widened. “I would like to sail this into my fortress’ harbor someday.”
“Drive it in,” he said, amazed he could manage a small grin right now. “Not sail.”
“Right.” Her grin melted into a smile. “Drive it in.”
His eyes fell to her lips as he angled closer. They might be going through something unexplainable and daunting because of Grant, but that didn’t ease his desire for her. The need to touch her. But he wanted answers first. “Because it has a motor.”
“A motor,” she whispered in agreement. Her eyes fell to his lips too.
“One that’d need gas,” he reminded, boxing her in, more than ready to kiss her again after he got some answers.
“Yes, gas,” she whispered, at last loosened up and right where he wanted her.
“Why could I hear your thoughts before?” He cupped her cheek. “Just tell me, Svala.”
When she blinked, trying to escape from his unexpected question, he locked her down with words he didn’t want to ask but had to. “Are we mates, Svala?”
Sean knew all about dragon beliefs. He had no choice but to believe after all he’d heard and seen. Now strange things were starting to happen between him and Svala. Things he wasn’t sure he wanted to happen. They might be getting along well enough right now, but he wasn’t fooling himself about how difficult she could be in general.
How this might just be the lull in the storm.
A Viking Holiday: The MacLomain Series: Viking Ancestors' Kin Page 5
