His attention returned to Grant. “My crew’s home safe?”
“They have been for hours.”
“Where am I then?” Sean said cautiously, not sure he wanted the answer.
“That will depend.” Grant gestured at both land masses. “On whether or not you still want me to carry out your request.”
When Sean said nothing right away, Svala filled in the blanks. “To bring me home, yes?”
Grant met her eyes. “Aye, Svala. To bring you home.”
“Because I am nothing but trouble.” Her eyes stayed with Grant. “And Sean and my mother would prefer me…gone.”
“Home, Svala. Not gone but home,” Grant murmured. Sean wasn’t sure what to make of the look in Grant’s eyes as they stayed with hers. Tough love, he supposed. “Does that surprise you, lass?”
“But Sean is my mate,” she whispered half-heartedly.
“Mayhap,” Grant said softly, compassion in his eyes. “But that doesnae mean he wants you to stay, lass.”
Sean felt her tension and sadness as though it were his own.
Grant’s eyes turned to Sean. “Do you still think ‘tis best for her to return home then, lad?”
Sean had been so certain when he requested it, but now he wasn’t sure in the least. Yet even before he headed out to sea with his men, his decision hadn’t entirely sat right with him. Did he think as a rule of thumb she caused more harm than good? Yes. But what if she was changing? What if everything they’d just seen had some sort of impact on her? Though her going against his wishes on his boat did little to prove it, she had seemed more apologetic than he expected.
Before he had a chance to answer Grant’s question, Svala spoke first.
“I should go home.” She swallowed then notched her chin. “I have created enough trouble in the twenty-first century.”
“You have,” Grant agreed. When her eyes widened at his bluntness, he continued. “And now you’re finally realizing it, aye? ‘Tis good that.” His gaze warmed. “Because I’ve missed the lassie I knew so well.”
Svala said nothing but Sean felt the heaviness in her chest.
The emotions she fought hard to repress.
It was strange sensing another person so strongly, but somehow not as odd as it probably should be. It was almost as if he was waking up from a dream and realizing there was more to him than he thought. Another half he was only just meeting. Her. It was hard to describe. And he wasn’t nearly poetic enough to figure it out. All he knew was that he didn’t feel like he had earlier. Like he wanted her gone.
The truth? Despite how difficult she was, he hadn’t felt like that for a while now.
Grant set aside the oars and stretched, his eyes going between them. “Unfortunately, the only way to get out from beneath my Yuletide spell is to make a decision.” He gestured between Scandinavia and Maine. “Here or there.” He shrugged. “Together or apart.”
“Can I not go back to Maine to see after my mother?” Svala asked, glancing at Sean before looking at Grant. “But remain apart from Sean if he wishes it?”
“Nay, I’m afraid not.” Grant shook his head, not looking sorry in the least. “’Tis a thing to call on my help like Sean did. There is no way around its outcome. In order to free yourselves, you must make a choice. Either you are together in the twenty-first century, or you each go home to separate centuries.”
Sean sighed. Grant might be a friend, but he’d had about enough of all this.
“I asked you to take Svala home,” Sean said darkly. “Not put us through all this. Whatever this is.”
Grant mulled that over before he shook his head and eyed Sean. “Nay, if I remember correctly, you originally called on me to ‘save the day’ did you not?”
Sean frowned. “So this is your idea of saving the day?”
“At the verra least.” Grant chuckled. “Many days at that. Whether or not they’re good ones will be up to you two.” Before Sean could respond, and it likely would not have been all that thankful, the Scotsman continued. “Lad, you called on me, and I helped because I consider you a friend. I want to see you happy. You have a past she needed to know about.” He gestured at Svala. “And she had a past you needed to know about.”
Grant held up his hands and shook his head when they started to defy him.
“Whether you know it or not, you couldnae find each other without better understanding what made you who you are.” Grant gestured between the lands. “Therefore, might my actions not anger you but help you to better choose between the past and future, aye?”
Before they could respond, the Northern Lights shined brighter, blinding almost, before Grant faded away.
Silence fell as Sean held his head. Neither of them looked at each other. He was tempted to tell her to stay. That there was something between them worth pursuing. But there was still a nugget of doubt. Would she cause more havoc? He wasn’t concerned about himself, but he was concerned about Megan.
Svala had done nothing to warm up to her mother, to help her through her battle with cancer. How was he supposed to trust that would change? That she would return and finally be the daughter Megan needed her to be? Yes, she now knew the reasons behind her parent’s actions, but would that be enough to change her attitude?
“I am going to go home, Sean,” Svala whispered. “Thank you for…caring so well for my mother…and for trying to be my friend though I could not see it.”
He sighed, rubbed a hand over his face then, at last, looked at her. Though she hung her head, there was still that defiant thrust to her chin. The one he wasn’t sure he could trust.
“That is me, Sean.” Her eyes lifted and narrowed on him. “The thrust of my chin you so distrust is my dragon.” Pain flickered in her gaze. “But it is also me. Svala. Who I am.” She shook her head. “You do not trust it, and I don’t blame you.” She clenched her jaw but didn’t look away. “I have learned a lot about me and about you after everything Grant forced us to experience, but I cannot promise I will change right away. I cannot promise you I’ll be the woman you want me to be.” Her hand slipped into his. “Because of that, it is best I go.”
Sean wasn’t sure what to make of the emotions that washed over him. Sadness that she wanted to go. Anger that she would without more fight. Pride because she was putting others before herself. Defiance because he wanted to stop her but wouldn’t.
“What about this mate thing between us?” he said softly.
“Mates can live without one another.” She pulled her hand away and stood. “Especially if one is human and one is dragon.”
Sean stood, braced his feet, put one hand on her hip and the other on the mast as the small boat swayed. “I never said I wanted you to go, Svala.”
“No.” Her eyes lifted to his. “But you never said you wanted me to stay either.”
He couldn’t imagine not looking into her eyes again…not seeing that fire. Yet when he tried to tell her to stay, something stopped him. Apparently, he had become used to the idea of women leaving him, because now that he had the chance to keep one, he fought it. Then again, maybe his instincts were protecting his heart. Because deep down he knew she couldn’t stay. In fact, she wouldn’t in the end. Not with her family at war. Not with a battle to fight.
Sean clenched his jaw. He was tired of being alone. He was done being left behind. And Svala would do that. So the way he looked at it, better to say goodbye now than later.
Before they got any closer.
Sean pulled his hand away and looked toward Maine. “I’ve gotta go, Svala.” His eyes returned to hers. “And so do you.”
“Yes.” Her eyes went to Scandinavia. “It is for the best.”
He was about to agree when his eyes were snagged by something crossing the sky from Scandinavia to Maine. As far as he could tell, it was a long trail of what looked to be…spirits? Transparent but somehow visible, they were made of stars and dust as they raced after what appeared to be hounds, as well as horses.
When he asked, �
��What is that?” Svala told him.
“It is the Wild Hunt,” she murmured. “Odin’s hunt.” Her eyes met his. “It happens on one of our Viking holidays.”
“Why would I see that?” he said.
“I do not know. It can be interpreted many ways,” she said softly. “Perhaps my gods are trying to tell us something.”
Tempted to brush her hair away from her face when the wind blew it, he stopped himself. “And what do you think that is?”
She shook her head and murmured, “Perhaps they are telling me to follow them.”
“And will you?” he whispered, caught by the look in her eyes, by the flicker of hesitation.
Their gazes held before she swallowed and shook her head. “No, Sean. I will give you and mother peace now.”
Again, though tempted to urge her to stay with him, he did not. And she saw it in his eyes. “Though we did not always get along, I will miss you, Sean.”
“Same here.” He kissed her cheek, and murmured, “Take care of yourself, sweetheart,” before he pulled away.
She nodded, her eyes lingering on his before she finally took his hand. “Thank you for all you did for my mother. For being her friend.” Her eyes searched his. “And thank you for…”
That was the last he heard before the Northern Lights swooped down and around them.
The next thing he knew, he was standing on the end of the dock at his marina and Christmas music blared from the bar nearby. He had no idea how his boats got back, but the fish were unloaded. Whatever happened, Grant had taken care of it.
Yet as he stood there, he wasn’t giving himself a mental pat on the back for being able to turn from her. For being able to protect Megan from her daughter’s snide ways. No, he was peering through the storm wondering if he’d made a huge mistake.
What if she had changed?
What if he’d just given up on her as quickly as his father did him so long ago?
Sean had never been given a second chance.
He shook his head, yanked on his hat and started down the dock. This was different. Their situations were different. She was Viking and raised by good parents. He was a fisherman raised by a dirtbag. There was no comparison.
Yet by the time he reached the other end of the dock and headed for his truck, his feet grew heavy. She might have only been here for three months, but nothing felt the same without her. Not the way the marina looked, the parking lot, or even his damn truck. Had she become such an integral part of his daily life that he didn’t know how to look at things without having her inside his head?
Sean stopped and scowled, his mind going back to her upbringing.
The woman she should be. The woman she likely was before that raid.
He thought about the Viking battle he’d witnessed.
The extreme violence.
She might not have been there, but she had still experienced the effects of the raid. The toll it took on her family. Her own guilt because she felt she had failed them.
He dug his hands into his pockets and hung his head. He understood violence. And he understood feeling like he failed his loved ones. He knew how it could change a person. Transform them. Make them act and behave differently. For a moment, days, half a lifetime. But he’d reshaped himself. He had become a different man than his father. It could be done. A person could become the person they were meant to be…or another person entirely.
He knew Svala wasn’t easy, but when did he decide he knew her better than she did? When did he decide that he had the ability to change, but she didn’t? Sean shook his head and started back across the parking lot.
While he might be tired of women leaving him, what Grant had said finally started to sink in. If Svala came back here, they would be together. So that meant they would be together wherever they ended up afterward. While Sean couldn’t imagine living in ancient Scandinavia, he couldn’t imagine being here without her either.
He shook his head as he realized what he’d done. What he had just let go of. Who he had let go of. Svala. As he headed back toward the dock, he wasn’t thinking about her attitude anymore. He wasn’t thinking about how much trouble she could cause.
He was just thinking about her.
How used to having her around he was.
How he couldn’t imagine not seeing her every day, antics or not.
When push came to shove, as Sean scanned the horizon, he wasn’t hoping she would return so he could see if she would change.
He just wanted her.
The woman who smiled warmly at little Emily when she thought nobody was looking. The woman who stared at her mother with fear and sadness when she thought no one saw. Then the woman who came, ‘Svala close.’ Not always to turn him on but sometimes to test him. To see if he would run away as fast as everyone else did.
By the time he hit the end of the dock, he could barely remember why he wanted her gone to begin with. All he could focus on was what a terrible mistake he’d made. Svala might be hard, but he got her and knew damn well nobody else would.
Not like him.
And right now she needed to be loved not misunderstood.
He shook his head at his thoughts and scanned the skyline, desperate for the storm to lift. Desperate to see the Northern Lights again. To see their Viking boat out there. Did he love her? Hell, if he knew. But the more he scanned the horizon and peered through the driving snow, the more upset he grew.
Because he did know.
He’d known for a while now.
Sean had no idea how long he stood there before Nick called out from the bar, “Gettin’ damn cold out. C’mon in outta the storm already, Cap.”
By this point, he could barely make out the boats alongside him. The storm was only getting worse and any hope of seeing the Northern Lights was long gone. Numb from the cold, Sean muttered, “Yeah, yeah,” and headed that way.
“Not a good night to be out there, friend,” the bartender said and set a beer down for Sean when he entered.
“Thanks, Sal.” He pulled off his hat and jacket and plunked down next to Nick at the bar.
Nick’s eyes slid his way. “Thought for sure you’d have your stowaway with you, Cap. Especially considering you vanished to the sleeping quarters before we got back and nobody’s seen ya since.”
He wondered how that had all gone down. He cast Nick a sidelong glance after he took a swig of beer. “So the guy’s weren’t curious about what I was doing down there? You weren’t curious?”
“Nah, I saw how you two looked at each other.” Nick chuckled. “Gotta admit, with a woman like that, I’m surprised you’re not still down there.”
“So you covered for me, eh?” Sean said.
“Sure, boss.” Nick patted his stomach. “Said ya had a touch of the bug.” Then he winked. “Or maybe ya couldn’t handle your liquor from the night before.”
Sean clapped him on the back and thanked him before his attention was drawn to the row of old bottles on the back of the bar. Sal’s grandfather had brought them home from Norway in the forties. They played a whistling song when the wind blew just right through the vent above.
Right now they were a creating a haunting sound much like the echo of a foghorn in the distance. A persistent boom of warning that there was trouble through the storm. That someone needed to take care.
A chill raced up Sean’s spine.
Something was wrong.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Sal murmured as he turned up the news playing on the television in the corner. A local had videoed something earlier…something listing precariously on the ocean. “Isn’t that the boat Megan went missing in a few years back, Sean?”
Sean stood as the newscaster said that very thing then went on to say that many locals had reported seeing it over near the chalet. They swore they saw a blond woman sailing it. Then the news got alarming. Because many claimed they saw that same woman falling overboard.
Chapter Ten
SVALA STARED AT the fortress for a long time. What it
meant to go back there. How it would be to see her father again. What surprised her was that she was no longer bitter and angry about his condition. Yes, she would seek revenge for what happened to him, but now she had a new sense of faith in his ability to pull through.
Seeing her father again had reminded her how strong he was. How there was nothing he would not do for his kin. Even conquer unnatural illness brought on by evil. Eventually, they would once again fight side by side and conquer their enemies.
She dug an oar into the water, turned the boat and looked in the other direction. To where Maine’s coastline once was. Where the marina and Sean’s boats were.
Where he was now.
She understood why Sean felt as he did. Why he had been able to leave her. She had done little if nothing to prove herself to him. She had failed as a mate.
In more ways than one.
A mere day ago, she would have scoffed at the idea of any man leaving her. She would have told herself that he’d only left because he hadn’t experienced sex with her. Had he, his decision would have been entirely different. And maybe it would have been. Yet there was no need to wonder now because it was done.
He was gone.
They were separated.
And though it had seemed like her choice, they both knew it was his choice that ultimately ignited Grant’s magic. It was his decision to turn away that ended their ethereal adventure through time and memories
In retrospect, Svala was grateful she never had sex with him so he could make the decision he needed to. A choice that she truly hoped would help him find happiness. Because, after all was said and done, that’s what she wanted for him.
Happiness.
Because he deserved it.
More than anyone she knew.
Svala flipped the oar back and forth in the water, sighed and contemplated. She had given Sean the choice to leave because she wanted to make him happy. She wanted to prove that she was not always difficult. That she was capable of making small changes. Capable of seeing how poorly her behavior was affecting others. And somehow, because she could finally see that, she could also recognize how much anger had been controlling her.
A Viking Holiday: The MacLomain Series: Viking Ancestors' Kin Page 8
