by David Yaffe
33 JUST LIKE THIS TRAIN
On March 31, 2015, Joni was discovered unconscious in her kitchen. She had been lying there for three days before she was found. A call was made to 911: she had suffered serious brain trauma from an aneurysm. She was rushed to the hospital, had emergency brain surgery, and was put in an ICU. (Joni, while conscious, was against Western medicine, but her treatment at this point was determined by the state of California.) Leslie Morris, a onetime manager of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, was named her medical conservator. Her prospects, according to every expert, were not good. Eventually, she was moved back to her home in Bel-Air. She might have had a laugh if she knew that the doctors and nurses attending to her came from the David Geffen School of Medicine. (Some things never end!) After a while, she started talking, and then started asking for cigarettes. She was told that if she could walk out on her own, she could do whatever she wanted.
After she had begun talking but not walking, Larry Klein, who was among those pushed away by her in the months before the aneurysm, came by and showed her their wedding pictures. She identified nearly every person in them. He wondered if she remembered how they had left things, but thought it best to not bring it up. (As with many survivors of brain trauma, her long-term memory was better than her short-term memory.) They held hands and spoke sweetly to each other. Joni’s friend the neuroscientist and musician Daniel Levitin was making regular visits. He was bringing in CDs for her to listen to, music he knew she loved. But listening to recordings lying in the dark just wasn’t doing it for her. She needed something more.
She decided to see the jazz pianist Chick Corea at Catalina Bar and Grill in Hollywood; they had worked together on one of the Mingus sessions. Herbie Hancock came along. Although she was beginning to get her walking function back through physical therapy, it was still weak, and there were too many hazards in the dark nightclub, so she was pushed through in a wheelchair. Sometimes it is marvelous to listen to your favorite music in the dark, but there are times, if you can, when you just have to get out of bed. When she was ten, she prayed to the Christmas tree: Give me back my legs and I’ll make it up to you. At seventy-three, when the odds were stacked again, Joni came back yet again. The pictures went viral.
Joni was wearing a black cape over a black-and-orange dress. Hancock looked thrilled. Joni looked defiant. They were holding hands, but she didn’t seem to be holding on for dear life. She seemed relaxed, even serene. She was planning to go to more shows. Herbie and Wayne Shorter were playing the Hollywood Bowl the following week. (Chick was playing the Blue Note in New York, and she considered going. Traveling would be easier now that no one was letting her smoke.) She was working intensely with physical therapists. One of them danced with her, and she smiled. She was getting herself back more day by day. And the piano was waiting for her to play it, guitars were waiting to be strummed, new chords, maybe even new words would come. Larry Klein had given her music apps for her iPad. A new canvas was waiting to be filled.
After the show, she hung out with Herbie and Chick and they talked for about an hour. At one point, she was in the middle of talking and her voice trailed off. She was spacing out like this sometimes, and it was hard to tell what was going on when she did it. “Did you lose your train of thought?” she was asked. There was nowhere to go but forward. So many years ago, the words she wrote as a young woman, sung at so many summer camps and quoted in so many high school yearbooks, were truer than ever. We’re captive on the carousel of time. We can’t return, we can only look behind from where we came.
What was coming next? Would there be another painting? Another song? Would she ever sing again? The seasons, they go ’round and ’round. I really don’t know life at all. All romantics meet the same fate. Help me, I think I’m falling. I’m always running behind the time, just like this train. Each of us so deep and superficial from the cradle to the stone. Nothing lasts for long. She says she’s leaving, but she don’t go. This time you went too far.
“Joni? Did you lose your train of thought?”
“Yes,” she finally said. “Yes. But that’s not such a bad thing for a writer to do.”
NOTES
The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was made. To locate a specific passage, please use the search feature on your eBook reader.
The story of Joni Mitchell is one that has been shaped by many people—those whose music I’ve listened to and those who have been generous enough to share their memories and observations with me. To tell the life of any person, especially a complex and multifaceted one, is to accumulate other stories and other lives. I am grateful to everyone whose influences have surfaced, both implicitly and explicitly, in Reckless Daughter. Much of this book was informed by interviews conducted between 2007 and 2017 with the following people: Joni Mitchell, Sharon Bell Veer, Jeanine Hollingshead, Sharolyn Dickson, Lorrie Wood, Tony Simon, John Uren, Chuck Mitchell, Nick Jennings, Murray McLauchlan, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Jonathan Rosenbaum, Leonard Cohen, Judy Collins, David Crosby, Graham Nash, Dick Cavett, Ron Stone, Russ Kunkel, Annie Ross, Boyd Elder, Joan Baez, Kinky Friedman, Ronee Blakley, Garth Hudson, J. D. Souther, Larry Carlton, Max Bennett, Robben Ford, Miles Greer, Chaka Khan, Wayne Shorter, Herbie Hancock, Mike Gibbs, Peter Erskine, Sy Johnson, Bob Mintzer, Nathan Joseph, Rafi Zabor, Sue Mingus, Larry Klein, Thomas Dolby, Peter Asher, Greg Leisz, Brian Blade, Vince Mendoza, Wallace Roney, Sue McNamara, Simon Montgomery, and Daniel Levitin. Quotations in the text that do not come from these interviews are detailed in the notes that follow.
PREFACE
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell conducted in the years 2007 and 2015.
1. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I’D RATHER BE DANCING
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, Sharon Bell Veer, Jeanine Hollingshead, Sharolyn Dickson, Robben Ford, and Tony Simon conducted in the years 2012–2015.
9“There were only two stores in town”: Malka Marom, Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words (Toronto: ECW Press, 2014), 3.
9“The Hit Parade was one hour a day”: Cameron Crowe, “Joni Mitchell Defends Herself,” Rolling Stone, July 26, 1979.
9“I was anti-intellectual”: Joni Mitchell, “Joe Smith Interviews Joni,” transcript posted on JoniMitchell.com, November 3, 1986.
10“I don’t know how to sell out”: Ibid.
12“Don’t worry, I’m not going to sing”: “A Tribute by Margaret Atwood,” Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame, YouTube video, posted on JoniMitchell.com, January 28, 2007.
13“Joan should pay attention”: James Brooke, “For Joni Mitchell, Artist, Singing Was Not Enough,” New York Times, August 22, 2000.
13“He and I went to some pretty far-out movies”: Marom, Joni Mitchell, 9.
13“And that piece of music thrilled me”: Ibid.
14“I wrote this ambitious”: Michael Small, “She’s Looked at Life from Up and Down, So Joni Mitchell Has New Ways to Write About Both Sides Now,” People, December 16, 1985.
15“You have to learn to paint”: Warwick McFayden, “The Teacher and the Debt,” The Age, December 15, 2002.
15“If you can paint with a brush”: Joni Mitchell, Woman of Heart and Mind, directed by Susan Lacy, CBC, 2003.
15“[Joni] wrote well”: McFayden, “The Teacher and the Debt.”
16“his constant creativity, his restlessness”: Joni Mitchell, The Charlie Rose Show, PBS, November 15, 2007.
16“The way I saw the educational system”: Crowe, “Joni Mitchell Defends Herself.”
16“The fishbowl is a world diverse”: Timothy White, Rock Lives (New York: Holt, 1991). Posted on JoniMitchell.com as “Joni in Conversation with Timothy White, March 17, 1988.”
17“I felt sorry for celebrities with talent”: Elio Iannacci, “The Interview: Joni Mitchell,” Maclean’s, November 22, 2014.
17“I lived in the tail end of”: Marom, Joni Mitchell, 2.
17“My poetry is urbanized and Americanized”: Susan Gordon Lydon,
“In Her House, Love,” New York Times, April 20, 1969.
2. LET THE WIND CARRY ME: LESSONS IN WOMANHOOD
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, Sharon Bell Veer, Jeanine Hollingshead, Sharolyn Dickinson, Lorrie Wood, and Tony Simon conducted in the years 2012–2015.
19–20“It was the day before I was paralyzed . . . Christmas was nearing”: Joni Mitchell, “‘Pamela Wallin Live’ Interview,” CBC TV, February 19, 1996.
20“The loneliness that many polio”: Daniel J. Wilson, Living with Polio: The Epidemic and Its Survivors (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2007), 126.
21“Somewhere all the cells said”: Mitchell, “‘Pamela Wallin Live’ Interview.”
22“I celebrated my legs”: Ibid.
22“There . . . came a stage”: Cameron Crowe, “Joni Mitchell Defends Herself,” Rolling Stone, July 26, 1979.
23“I lied to her once”: Malka Marom, Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words (Toronto: ECW Press, 2014), 10–11.
23“My identity, since it wasn’t”: Crowe, “Joni Mitchell Defends Herself.”
24“rock and roll went through a really dumb”: Ibid.
24“When I wanted a guitar”: Marom, Joni Mitchell, 14–15.
25“the most original person I knew”: Ibid., 15.
25“I had a column in the school paper”: Ibid., 14.
27“Each of Mitchell’s songs”: Loriane Alterman, “Songs for the New Woman,” New York Times, February 11, 1973.
3. WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW?
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, Sharon Bell Veer, Jeanine Hollingshead, Sharolyn Dickson, Lorrie Wood, Tony Simon, and John Uren conducted in the years 2012–2015.
30“I sing my sorrow”: Deirdre Kelly, “I Sing My Sorrow and I Paint My Joy,” Globe and Mail, June 8, 2000.
30“I couldn’t do what I first”: David Fricke, “Guitar Gods,” Rolling Stone, April 1, 1999.
30“I didn’t have the patience”: “Introducing Joni Mitchell,” Rolling Stone, May 17, 1969.
32“That [pregnancy out of wedlock] was a terrible thing”: Joni Mitchell, “‘Pamela Wallin Live’ Interview,” CBC TV, February 19, 1996.
4. A COMMON MODERN-DAY FAIRY TALE
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, Chuck Mitchell, David Crosby, Joan Baez, and Murray McLauchlan conducted in the years 2012–2015.
34“couldn’t get in”: Malka Marom, Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words (Toronto: ECW Press, 2014), 18–19.
34“it was the attic room”: Sheila Weller, Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon—and the Journey of a Generation (New York: Atria Books, 2008), 10.
34“She wore long gowns”: Ibid., 147.
36“get the baby out of hock”: Ibid., 209.
36“prairie girl [from a] rube place”: Ibid., 212.
36“We lived in the black neighborhood”: Marom, Joni Mitchell, 21.
37“By day, newlywed Joni”: Weller, Girls Like Us, 213.
37“We have this issue, Chuck”: Ibid., 215.
37“Mother left Canada”: Ibid., 216.
41“the pretty, ‘poetic’ lyric”: Timothy Crouse, “Joni Mitchell: Blue,” Rolling Stone, August 5, 1971.
43“As my work began to mature”: Joni Mitchell, Woman of Heart and Mind, directed by Susan Lacy, CBC, 2003.
43“Every bit of trouble”: Ibid.
5. DON’T GIVE YOURSELF AWAY
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell and Judy Collins conducted in the years 2008, 2013, 2015, and 2017.
44“I was reading Saul Bellow’s Henderson the Rain King”: Robert Hilburn, “Both Sides, Later,” Los Angeles Times, December 8, 1996.
44“We are the first generation”: Saul Bellow, Henderson the Rain King (1959; reprint, New York: Penguin Books, 2012), 280.
46“I loved the beautiful melodies”: Joni Mitchell, Woman of Heart and Mind, directed by Susan Lacy, CBC, 2003.
50“Joni invented everything about her music”: James Taylor, ibid.
51“A short time ago, a friend”: “Footnotes to Both Sides, Now: Joni in Conversation with Gene Shay, ‘Folklore Program,’ March 12, 1967,” JoniMitchell.com.
6. THE WORD MAN: LEONARD COHEN
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen, and Judy Collins conducted in the years 2007, 2013, 2015, and 2017.
54“boudoir poet”: Robert Enright, “Words and Pictures: The Arts of Joni Mitchell,” Border Crossings, February 2001.
56“Master Poet. Master Painter”: Leonard Cohen, “A Few Lines for Joni,” written for the Luminato Festival, Toronto, 2013.
57“My lyrics are influenced by Leonard”: Karl Dallas, “Joni, the Seagull from Saskatoon,” Melody Maker, September 28, 1968.
58“Joni is incredibly innovative”: Ian Popple, “Honouring Joni,” McGill Reporter, October 28, 2009.
62“Leonard got mad at me”: Malka Marom, Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words (Toronto: ECW Press, 2014), 38.
63“stone Cohenite”: Larry Sloman, On the Road with Bob Dylan (New York: Three Rivers Press, 1978), 383.
7. EXPERIENCED
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell and David Crosby conducted in the years 2007, 2009, 2013, and 2015.
66“When she first came out”: Elliot Roberts, Woman of Heart and Mind, directed by Susan Lacy, CBC, 2003.
66“I started at a time when folk clubs”: “Introducing Joni Mitchell,” Rolling Stone, May 17, 1969.
66“Elliot pitched being my manager”: Barney Hoskyns, “Lady of the Canyon,” Guardian, October 16, 2005.
66“The role model was Bob Dylan”: Sheila Weller, Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon—and the Journey of a Generation (New York: Atria Books, 2008), 248.
66“sort of snooping”: Malka Marom, Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words (Toronto: ECW Press, 2014), 34.
67“He really could do nothing for me”: Ibid., 110.
67“the position that I had”: Ibid., 110–12.
68“rainy fall night”: Weller, Girls Like Us, 244.
74“I’m starting to get my own vocal styling”: Joni Mitchell, Woman of Heart and Mind, directed by Susan Lacy, CBC, 2003.
74“Just who—and what—is Joni Mitchell”: “Introducing Joni Mitchell.”
77“I hadn’t recorded it well enough”: Wally Breese, “A Conversation with David Crosby,” JoniMitchell.com, March 15, 1997.
79“It’s about a night in any city”: “Footnotes to Night in the City: Joni Introduced the Song This Way on November 15, 1966, at the Wisdom Tooth,” JoniMitchell.com.
82“Arrived in Ottawa”: “Oh What a Night! Joni and Jimi Come Together,” Ottawa Citizen, October 24, 1998.
82“We heard of this great girl singer”: Mitch Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix: Inside the Experience (New York: Harmony, 1990), 132.
84“I’m too hung up about what’s going on”: Karl Dallas, “Joni, the Seagull from Saskatoon,” Melody Maker, September 28, 1968.
85“I think she had more understanding”: David Crosby, Woman of Heart and Mind.
8. CLOUDS
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, Larry Klein, and Dave Douglas conducted in the years 2013 and 2015.
89“It’s good to be exposed to politics”: “Introducing Joni Mitchell,” Rolling Stone, May 17, 1969.
91“Henry, I can’t go through this”: Joni Mitchell, “Joni Mitchell in Conversation with Barney Hoskins,” unpublished, September 14, 1994, JoniMitchell.com.
92“I found that all the producers were men”: Timothy White, “Joni Mitchell—A Portrait of the Artist,” Billboard, December 9, 1995.
93“I wrote [‘Chelsea Morning’] in Philadelphia”: Robert Hilburn, “Both Sides, Later,” Los Angeles Times, December 8, 1996.
96“Joni wrote ‘That Song About the Midway’”: Judy Collins, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes: My Life in Music (New York: Crown, 2011), 218.
97“I guess people identify with songs”: Mark Bego, Joni Mitchell (Latham,
MD: Taylor Trade, 2005), 48.
9. OUR HOUSE
This chapter draws on interviews with Joni Mitchell, David Crosby, and Dick Cavett conducted in the years 2007, 2009, 2013, and 2015.
102“I was their first racehorse”: Robert Hilburn, “Out of the Canyon,” Los Angeles Times, February 24, 1991.
102“It was the time everyone was coming”: Elliot Roberts, Woman of Heart and Mind, directed by Susan Lacy, CBC, 2003.
103“Joni took this really potent, popular image”: Bill Flanagan, ibid.
103“I can only liken it to Vienna”: Graham Nash, ibid.
104“The sun had just left the western sky”: Graham Nash, Wild Tales (New York: Crown, 2013), 2.
105“There really was an ethic”: Elliot Roberts, Woman of Heart and Mind.
105“She’s the only one who can sing”: Susan Gordon Lydon, “In Her House, Love,” New York Times, April 20, 1969.
105“Watching her was the most interesting process”: Graham Nash, Woman of Heart and Mind.
106“was built in the 1930s”: Nash, Wild Tales, 131.
106“perched on an English church chair”: “Introducing Joni Mitchell,” Rolling Stone, May 17, 1969.
106“It’s a long way from Saskatoon”: Joni Mitchell, Woman of Heart and Mind.
106“the audience at Carnegie Hall”: Graham Nash, ibid.
