by Ruby Dixon
Dagesh helps Nora to her feet, and before I can blink, he scoops her up in his arms and carries her off into the snow. The others just watch with amusement, as if this is cute.
I find it horrifying. A fresh new sob breaks in my throat and a few of the others glance over at me, frowning. I know I'm being a crybaby, but it's all so frightening. Do they think I want to cry? I want to be as calm as everyone else, but I can't seem to stop freaking out.
Corpse pose, I tell myself. Go back into corpse pose and practice breathing.
I slide onto my back once more and close my eyes. Breathe in. Out. In. Out. Ignore the fact that Nora just ran off to make out with a stranger. Breathe.
"Are you well?"
I open my eyes and stare up at a puzzled male face.
The first thing I notice is that…he's pretty. No, he's more than pretty. He's handsome in that rugged, overly masculine sort of way that these guys all seem to have. His brow is thick and ridged, edging up to the sweep of horns that starts at his hairline and arches over his thick wealth of black hair that tumbles forward over his shoulders and looks so much prettier than mine ever did. His eyes are curious and wide and if his nose is a little too sharp, it's set off by the fullness of his mouth. He tilts his head, regarding me as I lie back in the snow. "Feel sick?"
Even his accented voice is pretty. I shake my head, biting back my tears. "N-no. I'm okay."
I'm really, really not okay, but I feel like it'd be impossible to explain to him how I'm truly feeling. Plus, I'm already getting ugly looks. No one wants to hear me bawl about how stressed out and anxious I am at the thought of never having my anxiety meds ever again.
"Ah," is all he says. He squats next to me, as if he's not going anywhere, and offers me another friendly look. "Would you like to eat?"
I sit up slowly, since it's clear he's not leaving. Am I hungry? No. When I get anxious, my stomach feels small and hard and achy and it's impossible to eat. But I'm also afraid of seeming like more of a problem than I already am. Maybe I should try to eat. I sniff and wipe at the tears that stream down my face. They feel hard, as if they're icing up even as they fall, which just makes me want to cry more. "Eat?"
"Yes. Fresh meat." He nods as if this will solve all my problems. "I can get you some if you hunger."
I swallow hard and glance over at the far end of the copse of trees. There in the snow is the massive corpse of the creature they killed to give us our cooties. It's bigger than several elephants put together and there's dark blood staining the thing's fur and the snow around it. One side of the thing has been torn open and I can still see innards gleaming as they ice over in the cold. Do I want to eat? Oh god, I do not. "Um…that thing?"
"The sa-kohtsk?" He chuckles. "Not unless we are starving. The meat is not a pleasant taste, but if there was time to smoke it and rub it with salt, it would be a worthwhile meal. Did you want some?" He gets to his feet as if ready to go and retrieve me some.
"No," I say quickly. Looking at that thing, I don't think I could eat another bite for weeks. Maybe months. In fact, the sight of it makes me want to become a vegetarian—another thing that's probably not an option on this planet. I sniff again.
"I am Zolaya," he says, and smiles at me, revealing white teeth and two long, sharp fangs in front.
I hug the furs closer to my chest, not sure what to say. I don't want to encourage him, because I'm terrified of him thinking I'm his mate. "Hi," I manage to choke out, and another tear leaks down my cheek.
His friendly expression softens a bit and he sits down in the snow next to me. His legs cross and he leans over them, as casual as could be, as if we're buddies sitting around an imaginary campfire. I just stare at him, trembling, waiting to see what he does next. What does he want?
As moments pass, his actions grow even more bewildering. He just sits next to me, looking around as if he's got nowhere in the world to be but here.
"What?" I blurt out, unable to stand it any longer. "What do you want?"
He looks surprised and pleased at my response. "I want nothing. You looked as if you needed a friend."
I hug the furs tighter against my chest. "I don't want a friend like N-Nora did," I tell him and tremble, anticipating his angry response.
The alien—Zolaya—just grins. "That is resonance. You would know if it happened." He closes a fist and presses it against his chest. "Every hunter hopes for it."
"Not me," I breathe. "I have enough problems."
He nods again, assessing my words. "You look upset."
"Of course I'm upset," I tell him, my words taking on a hysterical note.
"Not like the others," he says quietly, leaning in. "Is there a way I can help?"
I'm startled at the offer. He hasn't mocked me or scowled at me because I can't stop crying. He just looks at me with understanding and offers help. Maybe…maybe I'll find a friend here after all.
I'm so relieved at the thought that I burst into fresh new tears.
"Here," he murmurs, pulling at my piled-on furs and giving me a fresh corner. "You will need to find new dry spots of fur to cleanse your cheeks or it will stick to your face."
The thought is so incredibly silly that I burst into teary laughter.
"That is better," he tells me, pleased. "So…I am Zolaya. You did not tell me your name yet, little sad bird."
Oh. I guess that's rude. I wipe my face and offer him a tremulous smile. "I'm Ariana."
3
ZOLAYA
"That is a mouthful," I tell her, pleased that she has stopped her crying long enough to give me her name.
She gives a little snort as if I am ridiculous. "No more than yours is."
I rub my chin. "This is truth. Do many of your people have such long names as you do, Ar-yee-yon-yah?" I deliberately pronounce her name wrong, desperate to wring another chuckle from her. Anything to make her smile.
I am rewarded with a soft giggle. "Air-ee-aw-uh," she corrects, and then her lips tilt in a reluctant curve up. "But my friends call me Air-ee."
"Now that I can fit my tongue around," I tease, wondering if she will pick up my flirty meaning. I am not normally so bold, but there is something about her fragility that fascinates me. When her cheeks turn flushed with color, I wonder if I have gone too far. "So, we are now friends, Air-ee. I like this."
She looks as if she is still contemplating that. Her hands hitch the blankets tighter around her shoulders, as if she can somehow hide underneath them and pretend this world does not exist. I notice her fingers tremble like leaves and her face is very pale. This is more than the sorrow and upset that the other females have. There is true terror here, and I wonder at it. Are we so fearsome? Or is it something else?
But she lifts her chin—so brave—and gives me another curious look. "Do you have a nickname?"
"You may give me one," I tell her proudly.
"Can I call you Zo-Zo?"
"Not that one," I say, disgusted. It sounds…foolish. My response earns another snicker, though, and I decide to go on. "You do not wish for me to call you Air-Air, do you? I sound like a scythe-beak calling for its kits."
Her eyes widen and she snorts again. I notice as she relaxes, the color starts to return to her face. That is good. She is distracted. My poor little sad bird. I wonder at what goes on in her mind, what has alarmed her so. She has reason to be afraid, of course, but surely as time passes it should ease. Hers only seems to deepen.
"Zo-lie sounds a little weird on my tongue," she admits to me. "And so does Lie-uh. Maybe just Zo?"
"If you like that, it shall be so."
"But not Zo-Zo." It takes me a moment to realize she is teasing in her timid, awkward way.
"Not if you wish for me to retain my virility as a hunter." I straighten my shoulders and pretend to mock swagger. "Look at that fierce beast that has been felled! Who was it, you ask? Why it was the great hunter…Zo-Zo."
Her lips twitch and the tears have stopped falling from her eyes. "I guess that does seem a little…ill-
fitting."
"I should have a strong, manly name," I tease her, fascinated. Of all the humans, she is one of the most delicate. There is a tiny one with a broken leg sitting with the others, but she chatters on and on to any that will listen, which tells me her spirit is stronger than her form. This one with the big name, she seems more fragile in spirit, more wounded. She looks as if she needs a friend more than any other, and I can tell that her crying and her fear have worn the others thin. They do not look at her with sympathy as the afternoon slides toward night, but ease toward annoyance and puzzlement. Like she is a problem.
I do not think of her as such. I simply see her sadness and terror and want to help. So, if I must be a fool to bring a smile to her face, I shall do so. "Why were you lying back in the snow? Were you tired?" I ask, curious.
Air-ee brushes her mane back from her face and shakes her head. "I don't think I could sleep if I tried. Too…clenched." She purses her lips. "I was practicing my breathing."
"Practicing…breathing? Did you forget how?"
Her sputtered laugh makes me feel warm and she just half-smiles at me and shakes her head again. "It's a calming exercise."
"Ah." I study her. She is more aware than I thought. When her gaze flicks over to the others, I see the wariness creep back in. She knows she is not well liked, and it makes me even more protective of her. I want to pull her against my chest and shield her away from the harshness of this place, the disdainful looks of the others when she cries. I would protect her from all of it. But I do not think she would welcome my touch.
Not yet.
Air-ee glances behind her and frowns. "Is…Nora coming back?"
"Not until Dagesh has filled her belly with kit, I imagine." I give her a curious look. "Are you envious?"
Her eyes go wide with surprise. "I…no! I just…" She puts a hand to her chest, over the too-baggy tunic she wears. I notice it is Pashov's cold-weather tunic and I feel a stab of jealousy that she is wearing his clothing. I do not like that. "She said she could feel it moving," Air-ee explains, and her fingers move over the tunic, clenching it. "Is…is it supposed to? Or is there something wrong with mine?"
"It only moves if you resonate," I tell her, and she looks strangely relieved, the tension in her shoulders easing.
"Oh."
"You can listen to my chest if you like. Hear how quiet mine is." I gesture at my bare skin, wondering if she will be brave enough to put her small pink ear there. I should like that. But she only blushes and shakes her head, huddling under the blankets.
There is an exclamation from the group and both Air-ee and I glance over. Pashov pushes forward even as a brown-maned female with a sturdy figure jumps to her feet. The song of resonance fills the air, thrumming over the conversation, and as I watch, Pashov pulls the female into his arms and twirls her about. She presses her face against his—surprising him—and then loops her arms around his neck.
"Another resonance," I tell Air-ee as we watch the new pair hold hands and race off into the snowy plain, looking for privacy. I am envious of Pashov and his newfound happiness. My khui remains silent, as if it is still choosing, or has decided against such measures.
"Is this common?" she asks, and I can tell her fear is rising again. As she speaks, another female with a dark black mane and pale skin gets to her feet and grabs the front of Zennek's tunic and then pulls his face against hers. Another, then.
I bite back my growl of jealousy. Will all of the hunters resonate this day except me? "Not common," I tell her. "Our tribe had only a few females before your arrival." I have not seen many resonances in my day. Females are too rare. I should be glad that my friends are receiving their heart's desires, but I cannot help but selfishly think of myself.
Air-ee licks her lips and glances back at me. "I appreciate the company, Zolaya—"
"Zo," I remind her, liking the nickname.
"Zo," she agrees, her small face still so sad and worried. "But maybe you should be with the others instead of me if you want to get a mate."
I rub my chin, grinning ruefully. "Am I that obvious?"
She pinches her thumb and forefinger together. "A little."
I shrug and pretend not to care. "If it happens, it will happen regardless of where I stand. I can sit here and wait for my khui to sing out its need. Once it finds its female, there will be no quieting it."
Air-ee's hand clenches over her tunic again. "What if you don't want it to happen?"
"Resonance always chooses," I tell her, but there is an odd feeling in my chest. A tremble, and then a low, thrumming feeling that grows stronger with every passing moment. I am shocked, and then joy bolts through me, making me leap to my feet. I gaze around the group of females but none seem to catch my eye…
Until I look back down at Air-ee, huddled in the snow. My khui sings out, then, loud and enthusiastic.
"But what if you don't want it?" she whispers, and clutches at her tunic with desperation as she gazes up at me.
What if, indeed.
4
ZOLAYA
Like all sa-khui males, I never considered that I would resonate…and my female would not be interested. It is the dream of every male to be paired up with his perfect female, a dream I never thought would happen for me as our tribe narrowed down turn after turn of the seasons, until there were no unmated females left. I thought I would be as old Vadren, who spent his life on the trails, serving the tribe with his hunting skills and never having a family of his own. It wasn't until I saw the human females that I realized that I might have a different path.
And I wanted it desperately.
I am not displeased with Air-ee as a mate. Though her name is long and tongue-tangling, her face is sweet for all its flatness and her voice lovely. I am fascinated by the bounce of her overlarge teats and the delicacy of her small human frame.
But she is terrified. She does not want a mate.
I hear the sound of my khui, singing in vain. I hear Air-ee's new khui singing back to me, and the sound is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.
Even as I enjoy the songs, though, I see her eyes fill with tears. I see the despair in her face.
She is still frightened and afraid. And I do not know what to say to comfort her. She looks up at me with misery in her eyes and I do the only thing I can think of—I pat her shoulder awkwardly and then get up and leave so she will have space.
It is the most difficult thing I have ever done. Every instinct in my body tells me to gather my mate in my arms and hold her close, to comfort her until her sadness changes to joy. To touch her until she touches me back and resonance can be fulfilled.
But Air-ee does not want this. Not right now. So I will wait, even though it is hurting my spirit. She needs time to understand what has happened, and if I can give her nothing else, I can give her time.
So I force myself to walk away, one foot in front of the other. My lungs feel as if they are bursting and my cock aches like an icicle in my loincloth. I furtively adjust my length so it is not noticeable and pull the leather over it in the hopes of hiding the fact that I am hard. That means no thinking of Air-ee. No thinking of her soft brown mane or her strangely pale skin or the tiny nose that seems like an afterthought. The pink plumpness of her mouth and…
And this is not helping. I shake my head to clear it and pace at the edges of camp, watching the others and trying to walk off the khui song that makes my entire chest vibrate with need. I need a distraction, I think. One that is not female and human and resonating back to me. In my next pass around the encampment, I see my chief talking to a few of the other hunters and move toward them to listen in. Perhaps he is assigning tasks. I could use something to take my mind off of Air-ee and her sad, wet eyes.
Vektal nods at me as I approach, and immediately it feels like a mistake. My chief has a contented look on his features that I have never seen before. He also reeks of mating, which only makes the ache inside me worse. "The others will be back once they have satisfied resonance,"
Vektal says. "But this is not a good spot to camp. We must move on and get the females away from the dead sa-kohtsk so the scent of blood does not draw predators."
"Tonight?" Salukh asks. "Or do we wait until the morning and set a guard for this evening?"
Vektal shakes his head, arms crossed. "Tonight. I know the females are tired, but it will do them good to walk for a time. There are a few hours to sunset and we can put some distance between us and the sa-kohtsk." He pauses and then adds, "I want to make sure the humans are nowhere near this place if the other aliens that brought them here return."
I nod, because it makes sense. This is not a safe spot. There is no shelter or cover, and if the weather turns we are out in the open.
"What of the others?" Haeden asks, looking sour. "Zennek and Pashov and Dagesh? Raahosh? They carried their females off to find privacy."
"They will be back," Vektal says. "Except Raahosh, I suspect. He will not return until his female is his, and I suspect that will be a while yet."
Haeden just snorts as if the idea of a female resisting is a ridiculous one.
"We can leave a few of the unmated hunters in this spot to meet with them when they return, instruct them to head to the Elders’ Cave. We will take the females there and shelter in its walls until all of the mated pairs have returned and the females are given the language by the com-pu-turr."
I grunt acknowledgment, because his plan is sensible. The Elders’ Cave is a natural place to go to. Less than a half a day's journey on foot for a hunter, and with sturdy walls and a spacious interior, it should hold all of our party until the humans have recovered enough to finish the walk back to the home cave. I think of the strange lights that lit up on the walls and the way the cave talked—and the red light it beamed into our eyes to give us the human words. Will my Air-ee be frightened of it? Or will she recognize such a thing and calm herself? I am curious to know.
I am even more curious to hear her speak the tongue of sa-khui. I like the thought of her soft, husky voice curling around my people's words…and my cock likes that idea as well.
