“Just put all this behind you, Lily. Sometimes that’s all anyone can do.”
Lily nodded to show she understood, though she didn’t share Sandy’s optimism that love would be enough. She needed an anchor in her life, someone who would be there for her no matter what . . . someone who wouldn’t bug out when things got tough. If it couldn’t be Anna . . .
No, she wasn’t ready for that conversation yet.
Anna smiled to herself as she walked out of her father’s new office at the VW dealership. The staff had welcomed him eagerly, probably because it meant Anna would quit firing people and go back to the BMW lot. But she knew they appreciated that in only six weeks, her advertising campaign on the radio and in the LA Times had generated a thirty percent increase in traffic on all of the Premier Motors lots, and a corresponding increase in sales. In particular, used car sales had soared at the VW dealership, since the BMW dealership now had a lucrative outlet for its more downscale trade-ins.
From the corner of her eye, she noticed a man getting out of his sports car.
“Say, I hear the Passat wagon is a pretty nice ride for a family car,” he shouted.
She immediately grinned at the familiar voice. “Scott!” She jogged across the lot and gave her ex-husband a warm hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Sara told me I needed a car that would hold another car seat.” He couldn’t hide his proud grin.
“Two car seats?” Anna asked excitedly. She was genuinely happy at his news. Despite his one-night stand with his ex-girlfriend, their divorce had never been malicious or vindictive. “I think that calls for a special deal.”
“Yeah, I read in the paper that Premier had bought this one, so I had a feeling I might do better here than over at the Toyota lot.”
Her arm hooked through his, she walked him into the showroom to show off her line of family cars. “How’s your son, Scott?”
“I think he’s perfect, but then I’m a little biased.” He reached immediately for his wallet so he could show her the photos of little Matt, now three years old. “Our next one’s a girl.”
As he talked, her cell phone rang, but she muted it, making a mental note to check her voicemail later. “He looks just like you . . . same smile.”
“Yeah, handsome devil, isn’t he?” He put his wallet away. “And what about you, Anna? Any new sweetheart besides the four-wheeled variety?” He used to joke that she loved her cars far more than she could ever love a husband.
She chuckled, thinking there was probably a lot of truth to his gentle jibe. “It so happens there is someone.” She reached into her own wallet and extracted the only photo she carried of Lily, a cropped version of the one taken at Yosemite Falls. Nervously, she waited for Scott’s reply.
His surprise evident, he took a deep breath and blew it out loudly. “Wow. I wasn’t prepared for that, Anna.”
“Yeah, it kind of took me by surprise too,” she said, smiling softly. “Her name is Lily Stewart. I’m sure you remember her. She’s the woman I was trapped with after the earthquake.”
His face showed nothing but confusion.
“We got to be good friends, and things just evolved. I really didn’t expect it.”
Scott shook his head, still in disbelief. “I’m happy you’ve found someone that makes you feel that way . . .”
“But?” She almost laughed at his obvious discomfort. “You’re wondering if my being with a woman had anything to do with you and me not working out.”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“Yes.” She chucked his shoulder playfully. “The answer is that I really don’t know. It was over a year before we got involved with each other, so it didn’t affect us that way.”
“Yeah, I was the one who had the bad timing.”
“This is true. But I’d like to think we’re both happy now, and that our marriage to each other didn’t ruin either one of us.”
“Well, I am happy, and I hope you are too.”
She would be—as soon as Lily came home. “I bet you’d enjoy talking to our general manager here. I know he’d get a kick out of seeing you again.” She led Scott upstairs to her father’s office and excused herself.
As she got into her car, she remembered to check her phone.
“Hi, Anna. Sandy Henke here. Thought you might be interested in knowing that there should be a familiar car back at the Waterways Lodge tonight.”
Tony closed his office door and turned to face Lily as she stood nervously before his desk. Their deep feelings of friendship won the moment, and they embraced without a word. Lily was first to find her voice.
“You said I could come back when I’d gotten my act together.”
“How are you, Lily?”
She was touched that Tony was more concerned about her well-being than with the problems she had caused. “I’m doing a lot better. I completed a treatment program for alcoholics. It was appropriately excruciating,” she added sheepishly. “But I survived it, and I’m hoping you’ll give me another chance.”
“You’ll never run out of chances here. We’ve missed you.”
Her eyes misted. “I’ve missed you guys too. And I promise I’ll never give you another reason to worry about my work. I’m so sorry for putting this firm at risk. I hope you know how much this place means to me.”
“I always knew. And I hope you’ll forgive me for suspending you. I know you were going through a lot, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I didn’t leave you a choice, Tony. And believe it or not, it helped me realize how unmanageable things had become.”
He sat on the corner of his desk. “Would you be okay with coming back part-time for a month or so? Colleen picked up your caseload, and I’d like to see her follow the active ones through. You can have everything new that comes in, and maybe even work on writing a grant or two.”
Lily nodded her agreement. “I’ll do anything—answer phones, mop the floors—whatever you say.”
He lowered his voice. “Between you and me, I’m really looking forward to that call from the public defender’s office. I love Colleen, but working together is making us both crazy.”
She chuckled. “At least you won’t be meeting her in court.”
“Lucky for us. Oh, by the way, you were right about the Esperanzas. About two weeks after they got their kids back, Miguel was arrested on a domestic violence charge. Roberto and Sofia are back in foster care.”
Lily sighed. She hadn’t wanted to be right.
Anna was elated to see Lily’s silver X3 back at the Waterways Lodge. She had left Chester at home tonight, hoping she might finally talk to Lily face-to-face. They still had a lot to sort out, but the bottom line was that she wanted Lily to come home.
She climbed out of her car and walked nervously inside to the front desk, where she found the clerk watching baseball on a portable television. “I’m here to see Lilian Stewart please.”
He dialed the room but got no response. “She walks on the beach a lot. I bet that’s where she is.”
Anna grabbed her jacket from the car and headed toward the beach, looking carefully down side streets so she wouldn’t miss Lily if she was on her way back. Her heart pounded with anticipation as her head skipped ahead to the joy of talking to her again. This awful separation would be over soon.
She scanned the small crowd of beachgoers, but didn’t see Lily. With the sunlight quickly fading, she thought it best to wait at the entrance to the beach, thinking Lily would most likely take this path back to the hotel. After almost a half hour, she made out a familiar figure in the distance.
Anna began walking toward her, her excitement giving way to anxiety when Lily spotted her and stopped in her tracks. Even in the waning light, she looked apprehensive. Only when they were within a few feet of each other did Lily drop her guard, and Anna closed quickly to draw her into a strong embrace.
“Lily.”
“I’m so sorry you got hurt because of me.”
Anna had forg
otten all about her injured hand. “I’ve missed you so much,” she murmured above the roar of the surf, her hand tucking Lily’s head against her shoulder.
“I’ve missed you too.” But Lily abruptly broke away and stepped back. “How’s Chester?”
“He’s good. He misses you too.” Tears of joy filled Anna’s eyes and she pushed them away. “We want you to come home.”
Lily shook her head. “I don’t think I can.”
Anna hadn’t expected a miraculous return to bliss after all that had happened, but she was confident they could repair the chasm between them. “I was wrong about everything, sweetheart, and I’ll do whatever it takes. No more working weekends. We’ll get away together, anything you want.”
Lily looked away, her jaw quivering as if she were biting her tongue. “There’s a lot you don’t know, Anna.” She turned back toward the airport and began to walk, pushing her hands into her pockets as if to withdraw from physical contact.
Anna fell into step beside her. “I know that I love you.”
“And I love you,” Lily said flatly. “But I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore.”
The words hit her like a slap. “Of course you can.”
Lily stopped and spun toward her, her eyes tinged with anger. “What can I trust? I know what I did was wrong, and I’m sorry. But you practically kicked me out of the house. How do I know you won’t do that the next time I do something you don’t like?”
“I didn’t kick you out. I came home and you were gone.”
“I left because I figured you couldn’t stand the sight of me. But when I tried to come back, you said no.”
“I never said you couldn’t come home. All I said was—”
“I remember it, Anna. You laid down your list of conditions. I could come home as long as I was willing to jump through your hoops. In case you forgot, my mother died. And instead of helping me cope with that, you pushed me out the door and told me to deal with it.”
“That’s not what happened. I had only one condition—that you get help for your drinking problem. And I told you I’d do whatever I could to help.” She was careful this time not to use the word “support,” since Lily had taken that to mean financial support.
“That may be how you see it, Anna, but it didn’t feel that way to me,” she said sharply. “Put yourself in my shoes. I lost my license, my home . . . my job. And you—”
“Your job too?” No wonder Sandy had said Lily hit bottom.
“Everything. And the one person who should have stayed with me through it all told me instead to help myself.” She brushed past Anna and began stalking back toward the lodge.
Anna grabbed her elbow. “I tried, but nothing I did made a difference. The counselor told me I had to step back and let you feel the consequences for yourself.”
“You talked to a counselor about me?” It was more of an accusation than a question.
“It was at the hospital, when I—” She stopped herself, knowing that a reference to that night would only make things worse. “I didn’t know what else to do. He said I had to stop protecting you.”
Lily glared at her. “But you were supposed to protect me, Anna. That’s what people who love each other do.”
She had run out of words to make Lily understand. “Lily, pulling away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I did it because I love you.” She let go of Lily’s arm and drew a deep breath. “I don’t know what else to say to make you to believe that.”
Lily glanced at her briefly, but then looked away. “It doesn’t change the fact that you let me down.”
“Then how can I make that up to you?”
Their eyes met, and it looked to Anna as if Lily was about to cry. “I wish I knew.” Then she turned and walked briskly in the other direction.
Anna knew she had the whole staff at Premier Motors walking on eggshells with her persistent bad mood, but she couldn’t seem to snap out of it. She was consumed with thoughts of how she might convince Lily to come home, and was growing more discouraged by the hour.
“Poor Chester,” Holly said as she appeared in Anna’s doorway at the end of the day. “He waits at home all day for a happy face and he gets your grouchy mug instead.”
“Am I that bad?” Anna asked, dreading the response. She hated to think the people around her were speculating about her sour mood.
“I think it’s safe to say everyone here is avoiding you. They can’t wait for you to leave next week.”
Anna was scheduled to fly out on Wednesday morning for the annual auto show in Detroit. “Glad I can accommodate them.”
“You don’t scare me, though. Is something going on?”
Anna sighed with frustration. She had tried to keep this to herself, but turning it over in her head for three days had gotten her nowhere. She felt she could trust Holly, but she feared her emotions would get the better of her if she allowed herself to open up. “I’m dealing with some heavy-duty personal issues right now, and everything I do seems to make it worse.”
“I can tell you’re going through something. Is it anything I can help with?”
She shook her head. “It’s one of those things I don’t want the whole world to know about.”
Holly stepped in and closed the door. “You were there for me when I needed you, Anna. I’m here now if you want to talk about it.”
“Thanks, Holly. I just . . . I’ve been sitting here thinking about it, and I can’t believe what I’ve done.” She pushed her hands through her hair as the first tears gathered in her eyes. She took Holly through recent events, glossing over the details of how bad things had gotten at home before Lily left. “Over and over, I put this business in front of what Lily needed. I even left her in San Jose by herself after her mother died so I could get back here and sign the Sweeney deal. What kind of partner does something like that?”
Holly handed her a tissue, and she wiped her eyes.
“She told me it didn’t matter and I believed her. But then the Kimble thing came up and she asked me if I could wait a while. ‘Oh, no,’ I said. ‘We have to move now or somebody else will jump in and bid.’” Her head bobbed back and forth as she mocked herself.
“But that was true, Anna. If you hadn’t moved on Kimble when you did, someone else would have.”
More tears burned her eyes. “So what if they had, Holly? She needed me, and I wasn’t there for her. Instead, I was out gathering my little auto empire. Now I have it, and look what it cost me.”
“Are you at least talking to each other? Because if you are, there’s still hope things will work out.”
Through all of her ruminations, Anna wouldn’t let herself imagine their relationship was over. “She doesn’t want to come home. But at least she hasn’t . . . as far as I know she hasn’t found another place to live. Until she does that, I keep hoping she’ll change her mind.”
Holly nodded assuredly. “Maybe she just needs a little time.”
“I can’t just sit here on my hands and wait for her. I need to make her understand how I feel.”
“Any chance she’s just playing hard to get?”
“I don’t think she’s playing anything. She says she doesn’t trust me anymore, and I can’t earn that back if I can’t even get her to talk to me.”
“You don’t have to make her talk, Anna. You just have to make her listen. Tell her over and over if that’s what it takes.”
Anna sniffed and wiped her eyes one last time. Then she drew in a deep breath and tried to lighten the mood. “Maybe I should take Chester to see her. Those droopy eyes of his are hard to resist.”
“If you want my opinion, I think you should go home tonight. You look like you could use a little rest.” She reached across Anna’s desk and closed her appointment book. “All of this will wait. Just go home and relax a little. Have a nice dinner, soak in the tub, then give her a call. No pressure. Just let her know how much you care about her.”
Maybe Holly was right, she thought.
Her direct approach— asking Lily to put it all behind her and come home—had already been rebuffed. She couldn’t expect Lily just to forget about all she had been through in the last two months. Earning her trust again would take time.
Admitting to herself that she was exhausted, she called it a night and went home. A check in the mirror confirmed what Holly had seen, a drawn face with dark circles under her eyes. No wonder her mood was so bad.
As she took Chester out for his walk, he tugged her toward the garage.
“Not tonight, fella. We’re going to bed early, but we can give her a call. What do you think of that?”
As Chester took his time sniffing around the grass median in front of their house, Anna let her mind wander, going over in her head what she would say. Maybe Holly was right that she just needed to be persistent. What better way to convince Lily that she would always be there than to always be there?
Determined to relax, she scanned her mail while eating a dinner of canned soup and crackers. Then she took a leisurely steam bath to clear her head. The last thing she wanted was to let her earlier mood bleed over into her talk with Lily.
Only when she was ready for bed did she finally pick up the phone. Chester wandered into the room and settled at the foot of the bed. “Here goes nothing, boy.”
She dialed the number for the Waterways Lodge and paced nervously as the front desk clerk rang through to Lily’s room.
“Hello.” The television played loudly in the background.
Her heart raced at hearing Lily’s voice. “Hi.”
“Anna . . .”
“How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. You?”
Anna’s first instinct was to answer that she was lonely, but she held that in check. “I’m all right. Getting ready for bed. Chester’s already sacked out.”
Aftershock Page 19
