“No.”
Merrick clenched his jaw. “I’m not giving you a choice anymore.”
Her eyes hardened even as they filled with a sheen of tears. “It’s not your choice to make.” She pulled away from him, snatched her pants off the floor, and marched toward the entryway. “I refuse to pay the price, and I refuse to let you pay it for me.”
Merrick strode after her and grabbed her arm before she made it out of the room, spinning her around to face him again. “I will not let you die. I’ll pay any price a thousand times over before that.”
“I won’t let you.” She pulled her arm free of his grasp. “I knew what was coming, Merrick. I accepted it. It’s time that you do, too.” Tears trickled from her eyes. “Let me go.”
“Never.” Rage—sparked by an overwhelming sense of helplessness—roared to life within him. “I’ve already told you, Adalynn, you are mine. I will never let you go. You’re going to live no matter what I must do to make it so.”
That hardness in her eyes only strengthened, as though her resolve were carbon being squeezed into diamond. If he hadn’t already known it, he understood it then—she would not budge on this. She would not back down. She would not allow him to perform the soul binding.
All because he couldn’t guarantee what it would do. All because she didn’t want him to come to harm for her sake.
Without another word, she turned and left. The sound of her bare feet on the floor as she stormed away held a crushing finality he could not accept.
Merrick’s fury would not be contained any longer. It locked every muscle in his body and triggered a surge of wild, bristling magic that engulfed him in blue energy.
Let her go? Let her go? Did she truly not understand the depth of what they shared, the intensity of their connection? No, she just wanted him to think she didn’t understand—that she didn’t feel the same way. But he’d seen it in her eyes. He’d sensed it in her song as clearly as he could see the blue of the sky or feel the warmth of a fire.
That fury collided with his frustration to create a firestorm within him, hazing over his rational thought and leaving only a powerful, irresistible compulsion toward destruction. He was aware of nothing else as he tore apart the parlor with a combination of magic and his bare hands, breaking the furniture, tearing the wallpaper, and shattering the light fixtures.
An inhuman roar joined the cacophony of the destruction, rising above all else. In his rage-induced haze, he didn’t recognize the sound as his own.
Chapter Sixteen
Adalynn strode out of the parlor toward the spiral stairway, clutching her pants to her chest. She could feel Merrick’s seed dripping down the inside of her thighs. Tears blurred her vision, and she blinked them away, letting them spill down her cheeks. She clenched her jaw to keep her bottom lip from trembling—and failed miserably.
Her throat worked, constricting further with each passing second. A crash of furniture sounded behind her, followed by shattering glass, and a whoosh of power. Her steps faltered, and she caught herself against the wall as a great, heaving sob escaped her. She pressed her forehead against the cool wood as she cried, listening to the chaos, the destruction, and the pain coming from the parlor behind her. Her legs nearly crumpled beneath her, but she managed to remain upright.
There was a tightness in her chest, formed around a well of hurt that went soul-deep.
This was her fault. She’d allowed herself to get too close, had allowed him to care about her too deeply, when she’d known what the outcome would be. And now Merrick was hurting. They both were.
Adalynn squeezed her eyes shut, forcing out more tears. Pain, sharp and piercing, flared in her head. Her cry was drowned out by Merrick’s deafening, inhuman roar, which seemed to make the entire house shake. Unable to look back, Adalynn pushed herself away from the wall and rushed up the stairs.
I have to go. I need to leave. I can’t…I can’t do this to him any longer.
Adalynn knew what it was like to be willing to sacrifice oneself for a loved one—she’d been ready to do so for Danny ever since the Sundering, and she wouldn’t have hesitated to at any point during which it became necessary. But her time had always been limited—she was already dying when hell came to Earth. Merrick was not. And each time he’d fought back her cancer, it hurt him. When would it become too much? When would it kill him?
I can’t let him hurt himself again.
Adalynn reached her room, grasped the handle, and threw the door open. Inside, she leaned down and grabbed her bugout bag—which she hadn’t moved since Merrick said they could stay indefinitely—and tossed it onto the bed. Shaking out her pants, she shoved her legs into them, pulled them up, and fastened their buttons.
She still felt him inside her, still felt the lingering ache of her orgasm, felt the evidence of what they’d shared. That moment, this day, had been so perfect—like a dream. But that was all this could have ever been for Adalynn—a dream, a fantasy, a wish, so ephemeral that the wind could’ve swept it from her grasp and carried it away at any moment. It was something she never could’ve held onto.
After wiping her face with the back of her hand, she reached for her boots, which stood beneath the window. Another bolt of agony pierced her skull, and for a moment, her vision wavered. She dropped to her knees and clutched her head between her hands, curling her fingers to grasp fistfuls of her hair. The stinging pain on her scalp only made everything worse.
It’s coming.
“No,” she rasped. “No, please. Not now. Not yet. Please just wait, just give me a little longer.”
But she knew her pleading would change nothing—something inside her, something dark, told her this would be the end. It was more than pessimism, more than acceptance of her inevitable fate. The specter of death had been following her for months, and now it was right on her heels, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
Once the pain finally ebbed, Adalynn took in a deep, shaky breath, grabbed her boots, and tugged them on. Standing slowly, she returned to her bag and paused. She didn’t need any of it—the clothes, the emergency energy bars, the tools, the supplies. They’d serve Danny better, if he ever found himself in need.
“Addy? What’s going on?”
Adalynn started at the voice behind her and turned to find Danny standing just inside her room. His hair was mussed, as though he’d just woken up, and he was wearing was a pair of long athletic shorts and a tank top.
His brow furrowed as he searched her face. “What’s wrong? And what’s wrong with Merrick?”
Adalynn ran to her brother and threw her arms around him. She held him tight as a fresh flood of tears fell from her eyes. “I love you, you know that, right?”
Danny embraced her. “Yeah, of course I do. I love you, too. But what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
Adalynn couldn’t speak for a time; all she could do was hold her brother, breathe in his scent, and feel his warmth, his solidness. He’d grown so much just in the short time they’d been here. She tightened her hold on him.
Another crash—and another roar—sounded from downstairs.
Danny started and pushed away from her. “Addy! What’s going on? What’s wrong with Merrick? Why are you crying?”
Adalynn forced herself to release her brother. Her arms fell to her sides, and she took a step back. She needed to be calm for Danny. He didn’t need to see her fear, didn’t need to worry about her.
Taking another deep breath—and trying to ignore the insistent, throbbing ache in her head—she met her brother’s gaze. “It’s coming.”
At first, confusion contorted his features, but realization dawned swiftly. His eyes widened, his eyebrows rose high, and a panicked gleam overpowered the concern that had been in his gaze. “I’ll go get Merrick.”
“Danny, no!” Adalynn reached out and caught her brother’s shirt as he turned to leave. Her fingers clutched the fabric, bringing him to a stop.
He turned to face her again. “What do you mean, no? W
e need him to stop it!
She shook her head. Her skin prickled, tingling and numb all at once, and her heart raced. “No. We’re not stopping it.”
He scowled and tugged easily out of her grip, taking a step backward into the hall. “What the hell, Addy? Why not?”
“Because it can’t be stopped, Danny! We knew that. We’ve always known that. It was only a matter of time.”
“But Merrick—”
“No!”
Danny flinched; it added to the worst of Adalynn’s pain—the pain in her heart.
“I don’t want Merrick to help again,” Adalynn continued, lowering her voice. “You saw what it did to him. We don’t know what more it will do. It could kill him, Danny.”
“So…so what are you going to do? Just…die?”
Adalynn stared at her brother, but for a moment, she didn’t see him. Her mind went blank as her stomach cramped and a feverish flush swept through her body, carrying with it a fresh wave of fear and anxiety.
On its heels came an icy certainty.
“Addy!”
She started, blinked, and focused on Danny. There was fear in his gaze.
“It’s happening, isn’t it?” he asked, tears filling his eyes.
“I need to go.”
She stepped around him and strode down the hall. Everything around her was a blur, a haze, as it spun and shifted without regard for the laws of physics.
A hand closed around her wrist as she reached the top of the stairs, dragging her to a halt. She looked back to find Danny behind her, his eyes huge and awash with tears, his skin pale.
“What the fuck do you mean go, Addy?”
“I need to leave here. Now.”
He tightened his grasp on her, adding his other hand to her arm. He didn’t seem to notice when a massive crash from downstairs shook the floor beneath them. “You can’t go, Addy. We can take care of you. Merrick has magic. He can help!”
“Not without hurting himself. No, Danny. I won’t let him do that. I…I love him. I don’t want him to die because of me. Please, just let me go, while there’s still time, and promise you’ll stay here.”
Danny’s tears spilled down his cheeks. “I’m not letting you go out there by yourself. People can’t just…let go, Addy, that’s not how it works. You know that.”
Adalynn faced him and placed her hands on his shoulders. She squeezed, harder than she intended, as her stomach cramped, and nausea made her unsteady. She doubled over slightly, holding onto him for support as she struggled to keep her breathing slow and steady in the hopes of pushing the nausea back. “You have to. Do you remember what happened to mom and dad? Do you want that to happen again? It won’t be me anymore, Danny! I won’t be able to stop myself from hurting you once I change. I need to get far away from you.”
Danny shook his head. “No. No, I won’t let you go. You need to be here.”
“Danny, please. I don’t—”
Crippling pain blacked out her vision. Adalynn screamed, hands slipping from Danny’s shoulders. Only his arms looping around her prevented Adalynn from tumbling down the stairs.
He laid her on the floor as her every muscle contracted and spasmed; her body was no longer hers to control. Something warm seeped from her nose, and she tasted blood in her mouth, but the agony in her head demanded her attention above all else. It felt simultaneously like her skull was being split in half and crushed in a vice, and the pain spread outward to permeate her entire skeleton, dominating every inch of her body.
“Merrick!” Danny screamed. His trembling hands smoothed over her. “Hold on, Addy. You’re gonna be okay. Please, just hold on.” His hands lifted away; she was only vaguely aware that he’d left when he called for Merrick again and his voice sounded distant.
Adalynn clawed at the carpet with stiff, curled fingers, battling the pain. She was used to feeling it in her head, in her stomach, but this was everywhere, like her sickness had forced its way into every cell of her body in response to Merrick’s attempts to eliminate it. The room spun, and her vision faded, but she was still aware—aware of the blood, of the agony, of everything she wished she could have said and done, of her fear of what she’d become once she died.
Rage-infused magic swirled around Merrick, enveloping him in electric heat. It insulated his fury, allowed those uncontrollable, untethered emotions to echo and amplify, to feed into themselves and expand the mana storm surrounding him. Blinding blue energy had become his world, dominating all his senses. Nothing remained but magic and rage.
No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t that simple; he could still recognize the truth of it, even in this state, though his thoughts were sluggish, hazy, and dampened. His rage was underscored by quieter but more powerful emotions—sorrow; loss; pain. Helplessness. But those emotions constantly sank under waves of rising magic, each of which was stronger than the last.
Magic…
Yes, there was only magic. Nothing else mattered.
Merrick’s magic flared, tearing apart another chunk of the room. Deeper, more potent energy crackled through it, ancient beyond imagining, charging him with explosive force. It was thrilling to feel that power, to use that power, thrilling to unleash his fury and frustration.
And that power seemed to thrill in being used.
Merrick opened himself to it further, expanding the channels torn open by his overwhelming emotions. The power flowed through him, crackling across the fibers of his being. His heart sped, but it seemed to pump blood no longer—it pumped mana through his veins, pure and exhilarating.
Let go. No troubles. No pain. Only power.
He could become one with that energy. He could be free of pain, worry, frustration, and rage. Free and powerful.
Let go of yourself. Embrace magic in its purest form. Become magic.
A fresh surge of mana rose within him, spreading outward from his core to race along his limbs and arc from the tips of his fingers and toes. His consciousness expanded; mana songs from everything around him sparked in his mind’s eye with stunning clarity, even the objects he’d already destroyed in his rage, and he knew that with one thought he could connect himself to any of them, to all of them. As that awareness increased, his fury diminished, and all the emotions behind it faded further.
Let go.
Two of the mana songs were stronger than the rest, their volume amplified by their familiarity. Merrick knew them both—the one moving toward him and the one holding still. The latter was intimately familiar; it called to him like a siren’s song, coaxed him to approach despite the discordant notes disrupting its melody.
Let go.
That whisper was more insistent now, more forceful.
“Merrick!” someone yelled from far, far away, from another world—an inferior, physical world.
Let go!
He’d been told that before. Before now, before he’d been consumed by magic and fury, before the ley line had once again buried its claws in him. Adalynn had said let me go. That’s what the whispers were demanding of him—to let everything go. To let her go.
The power, the thrill, the magic didn’t matter. Only she did. He’d gladly let go of all the rest so long as he could hold onto her for the rest of his days. So long as he could keep her.
No, he shouted in his mind, blasting the thought outward.
The magic surrounding him rippled, but he could feel it building again, could feel it preparing to oppose his will, to overwhelm him.
Let go and embrace the power, the voice in his mind screamed back.
Nothing will take her from me. Nothing!
Merrick’s mental roar gathered in his chest and burst from his throat, raw and primal. It exploded across the room like a rush of air, snuffing out the roiling, ravenous blue magic, cutting off his connection to the ley line and plunging the room into darkness.
He sucked in a ragged, burning breath and fell to his knees.
“Merrick,” Danny called from behind him. “Oh, man, are you okay?”
&
nbsp; The boy’s hand came down on Merrick’s back, icy compared to the lingering heat of the magic that had enveloped him until an instant ago.
Though Merrick’s connection to the mana songs around him had been closed, he still sensed Adalynn’s—still sensed the distress in it, the discord.
“Where’s Adalynn?” Merrick rasped, turning his head to look at the boy.
Tears flowed freely from Danny’s eyes, and his face was pale with worry and fear. “She’s upstairs. It’s bad, Merrick. You need to help her. Please.”
No. No, death cannot have her. She is mine!
Merrick rose, turned, and stumbled toward the staircase. His body, his flesh and bone, felt heavy, awkward, and worn now, but he couldn’t let that stop him. He wouldn’t. His muscles would obey his command and carry him to his Adalynn.
And he would do whatever was necessary to save her.
As he neared the steps, his awareness of her song increased exponentially, and he knew immediately the damage he’d done to her. When she’d first arrived, the darkness tainting her resonance had been concentrated, had been a dangerous but self-contained entity—like a rock frozen in a block of ice. Now it suffused the entirety of her song, staining her whole being with its maliciousness.
His already labored heart quickened, pounding in his chest like thunder breaking over a deep valley. Pulsating prickles of fire and ice trailed along his limbs.
Merrick had done that to her. He’d caused that. In his attempt to alleviate the worst of her symptoms, he’d taken whatever time she might’ve had—weeks, perhaps months—and turned it into days. Because he knew this was it. This was her end.
But he would not let it be.
He didn’t care what price he had to pay; he would give up everything for her. Nothing would take her…and she wasn’t allowed to go.
Grasping the bannister with desperate strength, he dragged himself up the stairs, forcing his legs forward faster than they were willing to move. Adalynn came into view as he rounded the spiral staircase and neared the loft. She lay at the top of the stairs, her limbs tight and trembling, her face contorted in agony. Her resonance sang to him sorrowfully, longingly, reflecting the pain evident in her body. Blood trickled from her mouth and nose, and her eyes were red with strain.
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