by Ni-Ni Simone
“Yo.” I stopped dead in my tracks. “Courtney was pissed off this morning. I went over there and homie had rollers in his hair.”
“Rollers?”
“Rollers. He said it was a quick weave gone bad. For real, for real, I know that’s our boy but he was a little extra with the zest this morning. I ain’t sayin’ but I’m just sayin’ I think he’s sleeping in fishnets.”
Asha laughed. “You stupid.” She laughed again. “Anyway, have you heard from Ameen?”
Instantly my heart raced as I shook my head to erase the picture of Ameen from my mind. “Asha, he ran up on me in the middle of the street yesterday.”
“He did what?” she asked in disbelief.
“You heard me. Yo, he is really jealous. I was crossing the street after walking Malachi to his car, and as I went to step across the yellow line Ameen pulled up like he was about to do a drive-by. I was like ‘do I need to take my jewelry off?’”
“Did you tell your mother and Cousin Shake?”
“So they could overreact?” I waved my hand. “Ameen is retarded but he ain’t crazy.”
“Yeah, okay.” Asha twisted her lips.
“I’m not scared of Ameen, he won’t do anything to me.”
“Zsa-Zsa, you don’t know what he’ll do. You didn’t think he would cheat on you either, did you? But he did.”
“Well—”
“Well nothing. All I’m saying is to be careful. Those type of dudes always get away because we miss the clues.”
“Asha, please don’t start reciting what you’ve seen on TV or learned in health class. I’m not a victim, believe me. Ameen wants me when he wants me, and when I don’t respond he doesn’t know what to do. But I’m done now.”
“Are you sure?” She looked at me with one eye open and the other closed.
“Yes, silly. Besides”—I turned around and looked at Malachi, who was still kickin’ it with Samaad—“something tells me I have all I ever wanted.”
“I’m so glad that’s your dude.” Asha smiled as we walked into the school and over to our lockers.
“That’s my baby, Asha. For real,” I said, gleaming. “I love him so much.”
“Her baby?” A voice drifted from behind me. “Malachi?” the voice continued. “Is she talking about your man, Staci?”
As soon as I heard that, I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. I was not in the mood to get it poppin’ this morning.
I turned around. Staci and her crew were standing at their lockers, and the one spittin’ all the ying-yang was named Nyesha.
“We got a problem or something?” Asha rolled her eyes. “’Cause we don’t need the rah-rah, we can get to the heart of the matter.”
I waved my hand at Staci and her whack crew. Then I looked them up and down. “Asha, we’re not going to even sweat the gutter rats. So, I advise ‘the wanna be me’s not to let the stilettos fool them. If Staci has something she wants to say to me, then she needs to say it to me. And not wait until she gets around her fake posse and wanna beef. Trust me.” I looked Staci in the eyes and then Nyesha. “I am not the one.”
“Who is that tramp looking at?” Nyesha spat. “I know not me.”
“Who you calling a tramp, skeezer?” I said, looking at Nyesha. “You better get on.”
“For real,” Asha said. “Come on, Zsa, they don’t want it.”
“Don’t want what?” Nyesha said. “Why would you steal somebody’s man? You just a slut.”
I spun around so quickly that I think my feet had to catch up with my head. “You a slut, trick.” I walked up on Nyesha, and Asha was right by my side. Asha wasn’t the one for drama but she always had my back no matter what.
A crowd started to gather around us as I carried on. “Don’t let your don’t-know-how-to-keep-her-man-happy friend get you a beat down!” I pointed my finger in Nyesha’s face. “You singin’ all this rah-rah and she hasn’t even opened her mouth. At least I don’t need a clique to fight my battles. So yeah, come to think of it I did steal her man, and you know why? ’Cause I wanted to, and at least I had the balls to take him. Now what, what you gon’ do?!” We were now chest to chest.
“Nothing,” Asha said. “Or it’s gon’ be on.” She started taking her earrings off.
“Yo, chill,” Malachi said as he walked in and slid his arm between us, and Samaad grabbed Asha by the hand. “What’s up with this?” Malachi looked at me and then to Staci.
“Your ex-girl.” I pointed my finger in Staci’s face. “You better catch her ’cause I ain’t the one.” Before I could continue on the bell rang and the crowd dispersed. “You better do something with that thirsty trick before she get a beat down.” I looked at Staci, and just to drive the point home, I kissed Malachi on the lips. “Come on, Asha,” I said, “you’re right, they don’t want none.” And we walked away, heading to class.
I was pissed for the next two periods, and I don’t know what bothered me more—that Staci and her crew ran up on me or that when I walked away from them Malachi didn’t run after me. I mean…I know he had a different class than me and everything but still, he didn’t have to stand there when I walked away as if after I was gone he would be entertaining Staci’s sorrows.
I was in calculus, and I couldn’t wait for the bell to ring so that I could find Malachi and tell him what was on my mind. Oh, and to also dump this crying-behind doll on him. Do you know that thing cried every hour on the hour and the pacifier didn’t always work? I know the school wanted to teach us a lesson, but dang even a real baby shuts up sometimes.
After the teacher gave us the homework assignment the bell rang and everybody was up and out of there with the quickness. I went to my locker to get my book for English class, but surprisingly I didn’t see Malachi anywhere.
I knew I would probably get in trouble, but I left the doll in my locker, and from the sound of things I wasn’t the only one. I walked away from my locker and I could swear that I saw Malachi out the corner of my eye as I passed the study lounge.
“Staci—”
Once I heard that, I knew it was him. Now I was pissed, and a lump was settling in my throat. I backtracked and walked over toward them. Malachi was leaning against the wall and Staci was standing in the doorway of the study lounge with tears in her eyes. For a moment I felt bad, at least until I heard her say, “If I catch her, I’ma kill her.”
“And who might that be?” I slid in between them. “You gon’ kill who?”
“Zsa,” Malachi said, “stop.”
“Stop?” I couldn’t believe he said that. “She and her cronies attacked me and you’re taking up for her? Is this your girl?”
“Chill,” he said sternly. “For real, fall back.”
I looked at him and I felt as if a thousand bullets rang through my chest. This felt worse than anything with Ameen. I looked Malachi dead in his eyes and said, “I’ll get up, ’cause I’m ’bout to fall all the way back.”
I went to storm away but before I could get far, Malachi grabbed my hand and turned me around. “I’m so sick of you runnin’. Stand here until I’m done. You tryna be so big and bold but you leaving your man with the very chick you can’t stand. Relax.”
Damn, did he just call himself my man in front of this chick? I looked at her and smiled. “Checkmate.”
“You know what, Malachi”—Staci looked me up and down—“you and this bird deserve one another.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. Is that all she could think to say? “At least you get the point!” I yelled behind her.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Malachi snapped as Staci disappeared from our sight. “I can fight my own battles.”
“She and her friends walked up on me.”
“Okay, and you checked ’em, it’s no need to keep comin’ for her throat. She knows how I feel about you, but I didn’t want to make her feel like nothing behind it.”
“Why do you care how she feels? You know what, I have already been down the road of dealing with other chicks i
n my relationships, and for real”—I paused—“I would just be more comfortable if you didn’t talk to her anymore.”
“What?” He looked at me as if I were crazy.
“Like, don’t even have no words for her, because I just can’t deal with the nonsense.”
“Zsa, I’m not doing that.”
“What?” I took a step back.
“You know how disrespectful that is? Our families are very close. I can’t play her like that.”
“You can’t play her like that? So it doesn’t matter how I feel?”
“Of course it does.”
“I can’t tell.”
“You know what, Zsa,” he said as the bell rang, “it’s a wrap talking about this.” He placed his hands on my waist and moved in for a kiss. I nicely backed out of his embrace, turned my back, hit him with a two-finger peace sign, and with every ounce of motion in my ocean I sashay away.
“It’s cool, ma,” Malachi said from behind me, “I like that view too.”
It was last period, and just to keep it one hundred with you I was really pissed off with Malachi. I mean, I guess I could understand where he was coming from, but still I felt really insecure with him talking to this chick…. I felt like…like something she’d said or did would make him change his mind about me and reconsider her. And then where would I be? I was just starting to feel normal again and not have to think about having a boyfriend who cheated on me every five minutes, but now I had to deal with this.
I tore a piece of loose-leaf paper from my binder and started writing Asha a note:
I’m stressed as hell. And I’m not beat for this Staci nonsense. Do you know I saw him chillin’ with her in the hallway a few periods ago?
After I finished writing the note, I dropped it on the floor and kicked it slyly with the tip of my stiletto over to Asha. She picked it up, started to read, and then responded. A few minutes later she passed the note back the same way I had given it to her.
The note read,
Chillin’ with her how, Zsa? You know you can be a li’l extra at times. No diss.
That pissed me off. I was a lot of things but I was not extra. Now Courtney, he was extra.
I’m not being extra. I saw them near the study lounge, not sure what they were saying, but she had tears in her eyes. He called me his girl in front of her, she got mad and stormed away.
I passed the note back.
A few seconds later the note was given back to me.
And your point to being pissed is what? Be pissed if they were kissing or he was feeling on her.
After reading Asha’s response I couldn’t respond fast enough.
If they were doing that I would’ve stole on both of ’em. I’m pissed because he was talking to her in the first place. What about him asking me what happened before he spoke to her? I told him I didn’t want him speaking to her ever again and he said “no,” he couldn’t play her like that.
I had to hold the note for a second before I passed it back because my health teacher was looking toward the back of the classroom. A few minutes later the teacher turned around and I quickly slid the note to Asha.
I could tell by the frown on Asha’s face that she was writing something that I wouldn’t like, and once I got the note back, my gut instinct was correct.
Are we seventeen? Or seven? So what if he was talking to her? Stop taking out on him what applies to Ameen. Bottom line you don’t know what they were talking about. Everybody can see that he loves you. You said he called you his girl and she was in tears, so chop that conversation up to be Staci’s loss. Not yours. And yes, it is ridiculous to ask him not to ever speak to her again. Their families are close and as long as Malachi is respecting you—you need to chill. Don’t be mad either because I didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. But I like Malachi and you need to relax.
I sucked my teeth.
Thank you, Mother-Love. And do not write back. And yes, that is a diss.
I wanted to fling this note at her head, but I didn’t. When Asha received the note back and read it, she looked at me and smiled. I hated having such an honest best friend. I gave her the gas face and she started laughing, which caused me to laugh. But don’t get it twisted, I was still pissed.
When the bell rang I hit Asha with a peace sign and walked out the door. I had to think about whether I wanted to ride back home with Malachi or if I wanted to make him sweat. I pulled the drawstring tight on my fitted goose down jacket. My legs were cold although I had on striped tights underneath my Deréon miniskirt, and my backpack was so full from stuffing the doll inside that my shoulder ached. I walked out the school’s entrance and Malachi was standing there. Instead of walking over to him I decided I would make him sweat it out a little bit, so I headed toward the curb, and that’s when I realized that Ameen was standing there leaning against the passenger door of an olive green Mercedes with dice swinging in the window. He smiled at me and said, “What’s good?”
“I was about to ask the same thing,” Malachi said from behind me.
“I don’t know what’s good.” I turned around and said to Malachi, “But seems I better find out.”
“So you gon’ talk to that cat right in my face?” Malachi asked in shock.
“What’s the problem, sweetie. Neither one of us can play our exes like that. I’m sure you understand.” And I walked away leaving him standing there. I walked over toward Ameen and said, “Yeah?”
“Oh, you wanna front on me?” he whispered.
“No, honey,” I said, loud enough for Malachi to hear, “I’m just wondering what you’re doing here.”
“I wanted you to see my new ride so I came to pick you up from school. Plus, I noticed you had a ride this morning so I wanted to make sure you had a ride this afternoon.”
For a moment I felt creepy. Why was he watching me? I started to ask him did I need to call the cops on his stalkin’ behind, but seeing that Malachi’s eyes were green and red at the same time, I played along with it. “Oh, that was sweet, boo,” I said to Ameen.
“And, wait, that ain’t it,” Ameen said as he reached in his car and pulled out an oversized green and white wreath of evergreen leaves and carnation flowers, with a white nylon ribbon going across it that read I MISS YOU.
Oh, hell, no. “Ameen”—I looked at him as if he were crazy—“are those funeral flowers?”
“It doesn’t matter where I got ’em from. What matters is how much I was thinking about you. What, you don’t like ’em?”
“Umm, I ain’t say that,” I said, mindful that I was still trying to make Malachi jealous. “They alright.”
“Alright?” Ameen said, pissed. “You just ungrateful. Do you know how long I spent looking at these trying to figure out which one to bring home for you?”
“Ameen, you don’t need to get so upset.”
“You just be pissing me off, man. I don’t even know why I came here. Here I am trying to show you how much I care and you acting like this.” He looked me up and down. “You don’t know how to act.” He pointed toward the sky. “Every time I try to show you I’m a better man and what they taught me at Sunday school you take me outta my zone. Is this how it’s gon’ be, Zsa? Me loving you and you treating me like subway trash? Them some beautiful flowers.” He pointed to the wreath. “My mama said them flowers was off the hook. They got a stand and everything. I ain’t even have to buy no card. They said exactly what I mean. Get it, A-meen.”
I swear I couldn’t move. Was he always this ignorant or did he just get this way? “Ameen, just relax, okay?”
“I just wanna talk to you, Zsa.”
“Okay, we can talk.”
“Oh, now you wanna be nice, but any other time, you nasty to me. Always so angry.”
“I’m not angry.”
“Yes, you are. Zsa-Zsa, anger is not good for anybody. It just makes you rotten inside. You need to pray about that.”
“Oh…kay.” I looked from side to side, not knowing what to say next, and then I s
aid, “Umm, just give me a second.”
I walked over to Malachi and said, “I’ll catch you later. I have a ride.” And I walked back over to Ameen swiftly before Malachi could say anything smart to me.
I slid into Ameen’s Mercedes and turned around toward Malachi, who was now sitting in his truck. Malachi held two fingers up, and just when I thought I’d got him back and he was good and pissed, he pointed to the flowers that were still on the sidewalk and blew me a kiss. Whatever.
Once he disappeared down the block, I turned to Ameen.
“Zsa, I know I messed up, but you shouldn’t be out here talking to some random dude because you know I would never let you go. So I’ll forgive you this time but don’t let it happen again. Feel me?”
“Yeah, I feel you.”
“So do you think we can be together again?”
“You wanna know what I think?” I arched my eyebrows.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” I swallowed. “I think you a whack excuse for a man. You think you can run up on me like you some jake and I should what? Run into your arms? Hell, no. I’m done. Tired. So you can take your fake, dingy funeral flowers and kiss,” I said slowly, “my…”
“Kiss your what?” he asked in disbelief.
“You know.”
“I hope you don’t think you gettin’ a ride home after your li’l outburst. And leave my flowers right where they’re standing on the sidewalk.”
I held my fingers out as if I was counting on them. “Forget you, them whack flowers, and this stupid car that probably ain’t even yours.” I got out, slammed the door, and kicked the flowers down.
“Oh, hell, no, Zsa.”
“Shut up!” I screamed.
“You know you got to pay for that, right. This ain’t over!”
“Ameen.”
“What?”
“Lose yourself.” I spotted a bus across the street and boldly crossed in front of Ameen’s car, leaving him and his funeral wreath sitting there.
