It shouldn’t matter. Patrick Donovan was dead, and they weren’t teenagers anymore, but somehow it did. The expression on Evan’s face, the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, all squeezed something deep in her chest.
“What did he say?” On high alert, she straightened in her chair.
He looked past her, staring off into the distance. “He said I needed to end it. That our lives were headed in different directions. That he didn’t want to see you hurt.”
Penelope nodded, still not quite understanding. “You weren’t hurting me.”
Evan’s face twisted. “Wasn’t I? But that wasn’t really the point he was making.”
She licked her lip. “What was his point?”
He exhaled, the sound heavy. “Back then I’d already been offered full rides from three Big Ten schools, and everyone thought I had what it took to turn pro. He told me that when I went to college, I’d be exposed to a life of temptation I wouldn’t be able to resist. That keeping you was unfair and cruel. That you deserved to be the star, not living in my shadow.” A small smile ghosted his lips. “His words, not mine.”
“But I don’t understand,” Penelope said, shaking her head. “We weren’t together, not really. Why would he even think that?”
“That’s why I think he saw us in the basement—unfiltered, the way we really were when no one was watching.” He shifted his attention back to her. “And because he was my dad, I think he somehow suspected the fantasy I’d weaved in my head when I wasn’t paying attention.”
Her breath caught and she licked her suddenly dry lips. “What was that?”
“A future that included you.”
She folded her hands to keep from reaching for him. “You never said anything that even hinted at that.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think I was conscious of it until he said it out loud.”
She almost didn’t want to ask, but they were on the path now and she couldn’t stop, not until she heard the rest. “When did this all happen?”
“Two days before he died.” He clasped his hands in front of him, his knuckles white. “It was the last real conversation we had.”
Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked them away. “And he was mad at you?”
Evan nodded. “He told me I was selfish, that I could have any girl I wanted and I should leave you alone to have a normal life. He said because you were an only child and because your parents were older, you’d never really gotten the life you deserved. And he didn’t want me to steal that away from you. He told me you needed to be with someone who would make you the center of their world.”
It explained so much; all those missing puzzle pieces she’d never understood clicked into place. It was like he’d used that last conversation to mold his future, and worse, everyone in his life fed into it. And she was no exception. She brushed the tears away. “I’m sorry.”
He cleared his throat and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “The night he died, when I came to you, I was so fucked up in the head, Pen.”
She leaned forward now, sliding her hands over his arms. “I know you were, Evan. I wasn’t naive. I knew, but I wanted it to be you.”
A muscle in his jaw clenched and she felt his tension under her fingers. He took a deep breath. “When we first started meeting in the basement, I promised myself I wouldn’t touch you. After I broke that vow, and I knew I wasn’t going to stop, I promised myself I wouldn’t take your virginity. That I’d let you keep that one thing to give to the right guy. That night, I told myself I was the right guy. That my dad was wrong, that I could be all those things to you. That I’d give you what you deserved. When I went to your house, I’d convinced myself. I believed it was true. I needed to believe it. Because, in that moment, you were the only person I couldn’t live without.”
She’d had it wrong. So, so wrong.
He reached up and brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away the wetness. “After you fell asleep, I lay there watching you. All that dark hair on white sheets, the light from the street casting you in a type of glow, your face soft, your lips full and swollen because of me. I’d never seen anything more gorgeous or felt anything so right and pure. And staring down at you like that, I knew. I felt it settle deep in my bones. He was right. I know it’s hard to understand, but I just knew it would play out exactly as he’d said. I couldn’t do it. To take you with me would have been the most selfish thing I could ever do. So I did the only thing I could, the one thing I knew he wanted. And I let you go.”
“Evan,” she said on a hoarse whisper. She stood and slid into the chair he occupied, straddling him even though they were right out in the open. She tangled her hands in his hair. “I’m so sorry.”
His fingers curled around her waist. “I had no other choice. I promise you, he was right. You would have hated it. So I waited for you to wake up and then I severed it, broke it so irrevocably you’d have no other choice but to hate me.”
He’d been cruel that morning. It cut her so deeply she’d had no other option but to turn away. But she understood now. And maybe that’s the way they had to be; there’d never be any ending on good terms with them. She leaned into him and whispered against his lips, “I forgive you.”
She felt his muscles ease, lose some of that hard rigidness.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice was thick and filled with regret.
She wrapped her hands around his neck. “We were kids, Evan. Just stupid kids. We didn’t know.”
“It was the worst day of my life.”
“Mine too.” She brushed her mouth over his.
He groaned, his fingers digging into the curve of her waist. “Penelope, you don’t understand. We’re sitting here talking about the worst shit, and it doesn’t matter.” He lifted his hips, yanking her down so she ground against his hard shaft. “I want you so fucking bad.”
She didn’t pull away, just rocked hard into him. “Then take me.”
He gritted his teeth and a low growl emitted from his throat. “The party. Everyone will want answers.”
“They can wait, they’ll be there tomorrow.” She dragged her mouth over his. “Tonight is for us.”
He finally relented and his lips covered hers, and the second they did, she lost any control she’d had over the situation or him. His mouth claimed hers. His tongue swooped inside as his fingers dug hard into her.
She angled her head, granting him deeper access.
And he took it. Oh God, did he take it.
It was a hard, demanding, brutal kiss.
Raw and rough.
Dirty.
A reminder of everything they’d been and a promise of everything they’d become.
His hands were everywhere as he feasted on her and she lost herself to the sheer torturous pleasure of him.
They grew hotter.
Frantic.
Ruthless.
Until they were fighting to get closer, their mouths so fierce her lips bruised.
He growled, fisted her hair in his hand and jerked her away. They stared at each other, panting for breath.
He shook his head as though clearing it. “We need to get the hell out of here.”
“Yes.” She moved to capture his mouth but he yanked her back, denying her.
“Now, Penelope.”
“Yes.” She shuddered, her mind going fuzzy in her desire. God, she loved him when he got like this. Back then, it had both thrilled and frightened her, but now it nearly drove her insane.
“Your place or mine?”
She shook her head. “I can’t wait that long.”
He narrowed his gaze. “I’ll get us a room.”
“Good idea.”
“I’m going to let go and you’re going to stand up. Understood?” His hips rocked against hers, driving her mad. She pressed back, groaning when he shook his head. “I can’t stand one more second of you rubbing against me.”
She gave him a slow smile. “But that was always our thing.”
His green eyes flashed like they burned with some sort of internal fire. “It was a limited option that at least felt like I was fucking the hell out of you.”
She shivered and tried to move but he held her still. “I need it, it’s been so long.”
“We need to get out of here.”
He released her, and true to his desires she rose and brushed a hand over her dress, breathing deep.
“You okay?”
She nodded.
He took her hand, entwining her fingers with his. Pale skin against his golden tone. She’d always loved his hands, and next to her smaller ones he looked right. Like they belonged. Tonight, she wanted to live that fantasy. She didn’t want to think about anything, or anyone else. Her lashes fluttered up to him. “I don’t want to stop.”
“We won’t.”
“Do you promise?”
“Yes.” He pulled her close and kissed her. A harsh press of his mouth. “Let’s go.”
Hands clasped tight, as though they were afraid to let go, they walked to the elevator. They got into a blessedly empty car, and he slid his hand around her waist and grinned down at her. “Everyone is going to talk.”
She rose on tiptoe and trailed her mouth over his jaw. “I hope their heads don’t explode.”
His gaze fell on her mouth. “Right now, I don’t care about them.” He flicked his tongue over her bottom lip. “I have fifteen years to catch up on and all I care about is taking you in every way known to man.”
She gulped as her pulse sped and hammered in her throat.
He whispered against her lips, “I’m going to do filthy things to you.”
She shuddered.
“You never were a good girl that way.” He nipped at her bottom lip. “The dirtier I was, the hotter you got.”
She curled a hand around his neck and tugged him down, rubbing her breasts against him. “That’s because you could make me do anything.”
He groaned. “Anything?”
“Anything.”
* * *
Evan was going to lose his fucking mind. He took a deep breath. He’d have her soon enough. He would not take her in an elevator. He would at least make it to a bed. “You know there are cameras in here.”
Her blue eyes flashed and a healthy flush slashed across her cheekbones. She glanced around. “I didn’t think about that.”
“If it wasn’t the first time, I wouldn’t care.”
She let out a little gasp and the elevator came to a stop. Thank God. That sound was almost his undoing.
He took her hand and dragged her across the lobby to the front desk. He took out his wallet and said to the middle-aged woman in her neatly pressed hotel uniform, “Give me the penthouse suite.”
“That’s not necessary.” Penelope squeezed his fingers.
The clerk glanced at Evan, her gaze going wide, before darting to Penelope.
“The penthouse.” His tone indicating he didn’t expect any further discussion.
The clerk tapped into her computer before clearing her throat. “Sir, that’s four thousand dollars a night.”
Beside him, Penelope stiffened and started shaking her head.
Evan pulled out his American Express black card. “Your point?”
Penelope elbowed him in the ribs. “Evan. This is ridiculous.”
Evan ignored her and handed the card over. “I’ll want late checkout.”
“Not a problem, sir.” The woman began typing.
Penelope glared at him. “This isn’t necessary.”
Evan slid a hand around her waist and gave the clerk a smile. “I assume there’s a private elevator.”
“Of course, Mr. Donovan.”
Good. He didn’t want to risk running into anyone from the benefit. Not because he cared—he’d be dealing with them soon enough—but he didn’t want one more thing to get in the way of taking her.
As soon as he had the key in hand, he took Penelope by the elbow and led her as fast as he could to the elevator. The door opened immediately and they stepped inside. He inserted the key card and the doors closed.
And the second they did, he was on her.
He couldn’t get close enough.
It was like some feral beast had taken residence inside him and wouldn’t let go. He tangled his hand in her hair, twining it until he fisted it and jerked, forcing her more open.
He’d had ideas of taking it slow. Of teasing and tormenting her until she begged, but that was going to have to come later. Much, much later.
He pushed her against the wall, kicking her feet wide apart and inserting his thigh between her legs. She moaned against his mouth, moving to stand on tiptoes and rocking against him.
He cupped her breast, and frustrated by the fabric, yanked her strapless top down, exposing her to him. When his thumbs brushed over her hard nipples she keened, kissing him harder.
Behind him the door opened into the suite. And he meant to stop. Meant to pull away but couldn’t. Just as he was working up his motivation, she gripped his shirt in her hands like she was going to rip it off, and consumed his mouth like she was starving.
On a low growl he devoured her. Unable to get control of his hard, bruising kiss.
He lost track of everything. Consumed by her mouth, her tongue. The slide of her hair, her breasts, and the relentless arch and roll of her body as they fought to get closer.
Reason tried to rise to the surface, chanting in his head that he needed to get her to a bed. He went to maneuver her, only to get distracted when her nails raked down his arms, and the next thing he knew he slammed her against the wall again.
Her hands were everywhere, driving him crazy, making it impossible for him to think straight. He could think—if she’d just stop. He grasped her wrists and jerked them over her head, immobilizing her questing fingers.
Between hard, dirty kisses that were more erotic than any sex he’d had since her, he managed to pant out, “This is going to be a fucking disaster.”
She licked at his mouth, rolled her hips and gasped out, “More. Now. Take me.”
Get her to the bed. He must take her on a bed. He moved them a couple more inches, letting her wrists go before skimming his lips down her throat. When he got to her jugular, he felt the pounding of her pulse against his tongue, and he bit her. Hard enough to leave a mark.
She cried out, arching into him. She gripped his shirt and tore at it. “Skin to skin.”
Bed. He pulled away, but instead of moving her, he pulled his shirt, still buttoned, over his head and dropped the article of clothing to the floor.
He managed to get her a couple more inches to the bedroom door, but then his bare chest touched hers and he let out a vicious curse. It was a shock to the system.
Her head fell back. “Oh God, Evan.”
His name on her lips. In that sweet, wild rasp.
“I’m sorry.” He stumbled them both into the room and they tumbled to the floor. “Too fast.”
“Now. Goddamn it, now.” She bowed off the floor, reaching for him.
He slid her dress up those endless fucking legs, until it pooled at her waist and he stripped her of her panties. He gritted his teeth as he slid his finger against her slick flesh and brushed over her clit.
She rocked her hips up, moaning.
He looked at her then, her cheeks flushed, mouth swollen and wet, hair fanning out over the carpet, eager and abandoned. He pushed a finger inside her and she was hot and tight and wet.
For him.
She ran her hands up his arms, and her lids fluttered open. “Please, I can’t wait anymore.”
Something broke inside him and he just lost it. Everything became a frantic, rushed, crazy mess.
He fumbled for his buckle, and she reached for him, straining under him. He pushed down his boxer briefs and the second his aching cock strained free he impaled her.
He wanted to slow down.
Wanted to savor that he was finally, after all these years, inside her.
Bu
t, as impossible as it was to believe, it was better than he remembered, like a hot, wet vise several sizes too small, squeezing him so tight he lost his mind.
She arched up, raking her nails over his back.
He sank into her again and again, mindless and animalistic in his insatiable lust for her.
He kissed her, his tongue rolling over hers in rhythm to their questing bodies. Her fingers dug into him and he slammed hard into her, their bodies moving across the floor as they tried to get closer.
Harder.
Faster.
He pulled away and growled into her ear. “I can’t fuck you hard enough.”
“I know. More.” She wrapped her legs around him, bringing him in deeper.
Her muscles rippled around his cock and he couldn’t take it any longer. He wrapped his fingers around her throat, and thrust hard and high, while he whispered in her ear, “You’re mine.”
“Yes.”
Another deep thrust. “Always have been.”
And another. “Always will be.”
“Yes.” She rocked up into him, faster, more urgent, and he knew she was close. He tightened his hold, like he knew she liked it, and she came around him, crying out, ripping his own orgasm from him as he followed her into mind-numbing oblivion. Lost in a pleasure only she could bring him. Wringing every last sensation from her before he finally collapsed on top of her.
He didn’t know how much time passed as they lay there, hearts hammering away, shuddering and panting, but eventually her pulse slowed under his touch.
He raised his head and stroked a lock of hair from her cheek.
Her lashes fluttered open.
He shook his head. “I told you it would be a disaster.”
She laughed. Well, giggled really, a Penelope rarity.
“I kept meaning to get you to a bed.”
“Where is the bed?” She looked around, catching sight of the mammoth king-size bed filled with about a thousand pillows. “Well, we made it to the vicinity.”
“I didn’t think we’d make it out of the elevator.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I didn’t even get you naked.”
“You almost did. So that counts.” She trailed a finger over the line of his jaw. “I think it’s rather befitting, don’t you? After all the endless hours we spent on the floor.”
As Good as New Page 18
