by Alexia Purdy
That reminded me of a question I’d been meaning to ask, hoping it wouldn’t offend him. What the hell, right?
“How did you lose your sight?”
Saul didn’t answer right away but turned his head out toward the forest across from us. Then he did something I’ll remember forever. He reached next to him, slipping his fingers through mine and giving them a firm squeeze. Why did it feel that he’d never told anyone much about himself? I was hoping he’d tell me everything and more.
“Macular degeneration. I was born sighted then lost it eventually as I grew older. I remember when they told me I’d be blind by the time I’d make it to sixteen.”
“Were you mad?”
He nodded and placed his cane to the side before he turned toward me, cupping my cheek with his free hand.
“I went through all the emotions anyone with a devastating diagnosis goes through. Anger, hate, denial, depression…Nothing made sense to me. I was a wild youth, climbing trees, jumping from second story windows, skateboarding with skinned knees. You name it, I did it. Stupid really. I can’t advocate being such a wild thing to anyone.
“But…at first, I thought I was being punished for causing so much grief for my parents. Then, when my glasses kept getting thicker and the lighting was getting dimmer, I made a deal with myself.”
He paused, and I sat on the edge of myself waiting to hear what he had to say. When he didn’t continue, I let out an exasperate breath.
“Well? What was the deal?”
Saul chuckled and sighed. His hand dropped to his lap, and he slid even closer to me. The man knew how to torture me in the worst way.
“I told myself that it was another adventure. What better way to be a daredevil than a blind one? I wouldn’t be afraid of heights. I wouldn’t see terror heading toward me like it did before. It was actually going to help me become even more of a wild child. Things would be a thousand times harder, a challenge. Just what I wanted.”
“So this challenge you saw it as, did that help you come to terms with it?”
He nodded, playing with my fingers as I waited for an answer. He liked to make me squirm in anticipation. I hoped it was all worth the wait. Something told me he was very much worth the wait and then some.
“Yes, it helped a lot. I viewed it completely differently, like the badass teen that I was. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t do blind that I did sighted. I was that good.”
I laughed, grinning from cheek to cheek. I still wished he could see me, tell me I was beautiful, but I was relishing the thought of him seeing the real me, what laid beneath the pretty exterior. The true me.
“You’re a brave soul,” I whispered. He leaned even closer as I spoke, and my heart quickened and turned my legs into jelly. Good thing I wasn’t standing or I’d fall right over from his proximity.
“Brave has nothing to do with it.” His lips pressed into mine, warm and hungry. I felt the same way, wanting to devour him up and never let him go. His tongue pushed against my mouth, begging to part enough for mine to tangle with his. I let him. I let him slip his arms around my waist until our bodies had no space between, the heat of his body turning my own into a heated inferno.
I wanted him. I couldn’t even deny it anymore. He tasted so good, and I wanted to taste more of his skin, his flesh, his body. Every part of him I wanted to lick and kiss. No matter how much I ever tried to resist my attraction to him, I knew I’d lost the war keeping him at arm’s length. But I was fine. I was okay. My sky hadn’t fallen. The world kept on turning. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to fall in love with Saul, after all. I could definitely have picked a worse man to fall for.
“Wait…you were going to show me your spot?”
He leaned back some, grinning widely as he held one hand on my cheek. It was warm, steady, and made me feel like a million dollars. Just one touch and he could make my heart soar. Just one word and I was his forever. But would he ask so much from me? Did he want me back that way? I sure hoped he did, because if he didn’t and this was all just a waste of time, I’d be devastated. There’d been enough time wasted, years filled with suspicion, broken hearts left empty. Just this once, I wanted to claim it all for myself, relish and devour what I wanted with every burning flame arising within.
Chapter Three
Liv
When the moments passed, I finally pulled back away for some air. The heat between us was stifling, and I wanted to look at his face and see what he was feeling—to really look at him. Maybe it would tell me more about this man whom I barely knew. Maybe it was just that I wanted to know more of him all of sudden, and my thirst to dissect Emilio had become insatiable in the span of moments.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked. My lips felt numb, like the blood was swiftly returning to them and causing them to swell from the excitement and pressure of his kisses. They hummed for more.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I met you, Liv.”
“When was that?”
“At Ruben’s bar. Jonas was setting up a deal with him, and I saw you behind the bar, serving drinks. They were wrapped up in their deal, so I had loads of time to watch you. You were so bubbly there, chatting with customers, balancing drinks, mixing them like you’d done it for ages, even though you’re not even legal to serve it. I wanted you then.”
I strained to remember that night, but my memory was cruel and failed to recall him with Jonas. His arms were still around me, and his hands made their way down my back to where my blouse had shifted to just above the waist of my pants. His fingers found the bare skin in between the fabrics and drew soft, gentle circles across it. I sighed.
“Hmm, I don’t remember seeing you around with Jonas much at Ruben’s.”
“It was crowded that night. Very loud and busy. But I still noticed you. It didn’t take much for you to capture me.”
I flicked my gaze between his eyes. They looked brighter somehow, like stars had emerged from the inky black to shine with a startling brilliance.
“I—I have to take a shower.” I shot to my feet, flustered and shaking. I had to clear my head. “I’ll be back.” I rushed to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Leaning my forehead against the door, I half expected Emilio to come to the door and ask me what was wrong. When he didn’t, I turned and began to strip off my clothes from the night before. Cranking on the water, I let it warm and stepped in, relaxing under the stream pelting my skin.
I needed to think about this and contemplate what I was going to do. I couldn’t let Emilio in. I couldn’t let him touch me like that. I was this close to giving him what he wanted, and I was ashamed to say I hadn’t put up enough of a fight.
Once I was done, I pulled from the stack of towels on the wire shelf above the toilet, furiously glancing around the room, realizing too late that I hadn’t brought any clean clothes with me.
Great. Just perfect.
I sighed, dried off, and twirled my hair in the towel. Staring at my reflection in the foggy mirror, I wondered what was going to happen when I walked out of the bathroom.
I grabbed another towel and wrapped it snug around my body, tucking the end inside. Letting my hair down, I ran my brush through the tangles until it was slick and curling. I sighed; it would have to do. Unlocking the door, I swung it open and headed into the room for clothes.
“You don’t need a towel.” Emilio sat where I’d left him, and I froze mid-step toward the chest of drawers where I’d stuffed my clothes.
“I need something to wear…” Before I could reach the dresser, he stood up and was in front of me in no time whatsoever. I sucked in a breath, nervous as hell as my heart skipped vital beats. The way his eyes roamed down my toweled body and across my collarbone as if admiring a piece of art made me speechless. I couldn’t function with him so damn close to me.
He reached out, caressing my shoulder as he pushed a strand of damp hair away from it.
“You’re perfect in every way. Beautiful.”
I could
n’t speak, couldn’t breathe. He was gorgeous himself and irresistible. I couldn’t stop staring at his chiseled face and soft, beckoning lips.
“Thank you.” My voice was a hushed whisper as he continued to toy with my hair and caress my skin until I shivered from his touch. “What about Jonas?”
He tilted his head in thought and studied my eyes even more. “What about him?”
“He’ll be furious if he knew you were here with me.”
“It matters little to me what he thinks.” He frowned at the thought of his brother. “He would deserve it.”
I lifted an eyebrow, curious. “How so?”
With that, Emilio pulled away, sitting on the bed once more and leaning on his thighs. “He stole the one woman I loved when we were but teenagers. He took her from me, even though he knew I loved her. He wooed her with his charm and charisma, then drove her to suicide when he discarded her like trash.”
“What? She killed herself? Why?”
Emilio ran his hands through the locks of black on his head. It wasn’t long, but it wasn’t short hair either. I wanted to reach out and twirl it in my fingers. I sank into the bed next to him, making sure I was touching knees, for I needed to have contact with a part of him. I didn’t know why or if it was even the worst idea I’d ever had, but I wanted more of his touch.
“She fell in love with him. He promised her forever. He even went as far as marrying her. Then, he slept around like there was no tomorrow. When Anjelica discovered his indiscretions, and even an entire other family he was supporting behind her back, she drove to the cliffs and jumped.”
“Wow.” My stomach sank. So there was bad blood between the brothers. How did they stand each other? “How did you not kill Jonas then?”
Emilio turned and pulled me closer, reaching up to push my loose, wavy, and damp curls back from my face. “I turned away from it all to save myself from the pain. I promised, one day, my vengeance would come. One day, I’ll find it, and Jonas will pay. In the meantime, why suffer for it? She made her choice. She paid for it, and so shall Jonas.”
Again, he kissed me, harder this time, like a desperate ache released from deep within. I let him kiss me. It felt exhilarating and sent shockwaves up my body. I couldn’t resist him, and I worried that I was giving in to this too easily with such consequences that could destroy me. But it felt so good…
If he wanted to get back at his brother, what better way than to steal me from him? That’s what I was afraid of.
His fingers trailed up my side, and I sighed with pleasure from the sensations he was quickly pouring over me. I wanted him to let go even more, to feel him all through me. His body’s rhythm hummed with mine as the moments ticked by, and his hurried kisses turned into tiny nips and licks across my neck and down my chest, across my belly. His eyes sparkled as he glanced up toward my face, smiling wickedly as he reached up to yank my towel off.
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Does what bother me?” His voice came out dreamily, like he was already high on something.
“Doing exactly what he did to you back to him?”
He straightened to come eye to eye with me. I shivered. His eyes hardened where they’d once been soft, causing the air to shift into a frigid standoff.
“No, it doesn’t bother me. I know what I want and don’t care what it takes to get my justice. It is what it is.”
I nodded, not sure if I felt lust or panic at being so near to Emilio. He was volatile too, maybe even better controlled than Jonas was, but still, I could feel the monster beneath who wasn’t to be trifled with.
He looked down, tugged the towel loose to let it fall down my waist. Before I could stop it from falling, he caressed my naked breasts with his warm fingers, then dragged his hands down my sides before pulling my legs apart.
“Don’t be afraid of me, Liv. I’d never hurt you. I’ve wanted you forever. Tell me you don’t want the same...”
With that, he pushed me gently into the bed and pulled off his shirt. I could see how well he took care of himself as my hands trailed over the hardened muscles of his chest and abdomen. My heart sped up, hungry for more of him in every way. There was something about Emilio I couldn’t quite figure out, but I knew he was something I would crave for the rest of my life.
Chapter Four
Audrey
“Come on. It’s not much farther.” He whipped to his feet and held out his hand. I still found it disorientating how easily he got about. If I hadn’t seen his cataracts up close, I’d have suspected he wasn’t completely blind. A furtive glance down to his cane which expertly swiped the ground, searching, touching, and taking it all in like an extension of his arm, made me shake off the thought. He was definitely blind. I just kept grasping at the possibility that maybe it wouldn’t be permanent.
“Saul?”
“Yes,” he responded. His deep, thrumming voice made me shiver and sent ripples of goose pimples up my arms.
“How old were you when you found out you were blind?”
“Sixteen.”
Such a strange coincidence that my life had also altered with the violent jolt of an earthquake at sixteen, too.
“How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Deal with it and not lose your mind?”
He shrugged and made his way to a fork in the path. Pausing, he reached out to slide his hand down the wooden sign propped where the split began. A few moments passed as his fingers read the indentions of the letters so faded with time and use that I had to get closer to read it.
Fury’s pass to the right, General Sherman to the left.
“I did lose my mind, for a while. I refused to eat. My mother begged me to go to counseling and then, afterwards, to a school for the newly blind... You know, the kind of rehabilitation newbies usually go through. I refused at first, preferring to linger in my self-loathing in the darkness of my room. I no longer needed light, so I spent one day opening my window and chucking out the lamps sitting on the corners of my desk. I used to need them so much to study for school and such, but not after that.”
“Purge the anger, right?”
He bobbed his head up and down, looking serious in his reminiscence. “Yeah. In a way, anger can be therapeutic. Other ways, destructive. I figured if I was going to start anew, I had to break down my old life and clear away the debris before making a whole brand new one.”
I pondered this as he motioned ahead toward the split in the fork.
“We have to go off trail just a bit.”
“Won’t we get in trouble?”
He shrugged. “Got to live a little, right? What are they going to say to a blind man?” He snickered and headed forward. His agility while making his way through the underbrush was impressive. I took a long hard look around us and followed. If we were caught, I’d blame Saul. It sounded messed up, but he already suggested the plan, so I was going with it. Not like any excuse I could think up would be as good as ‘I was just following the blind man into his childhood memory’, so why not?
I slammed into Saul’s back when he suddenly stopped and reached out toward the trees surrounding us. The trail was far gone behind us, hidden in the mass of saplings, grass, and hundreds of tree trunks standing like soldiers, ready to guard the elusive royal couple. Luckily, I wasn’t moving too fast, or I would’ve toppled us both over.
“Sorry.” I backed up and glanced around. We were at the edge of the mountain, where a cliff made of embedded boulders bigger than houses stood before us. They dug into the earth with their majestic bodies, half hidden and jutting out toward the azure sky, reaching toward the angry sun for mercy. Or for something else.
“This is it. Can you lead me to the edge? I know how big the rim is, but I don’t really want to find out if I miscalculate a step one second too late.”
I grasped his hand and laughed. “Sure thing! ‘Bout time I felt useful.” His warm smile made my insides flare up into a sweet oblivion, and I ripped my eyes away before the
overwhelming need to rip his clothes off and straddle him on the soft earth took over. Why was I feeling so horny? I had to shake this crazy off before I fell in far too deep. He was an abyss—blue, dark, and beckoning with an endless drop to who knew where. I could easily fall into it, but how bad would climbing back out be?
“Here,” I paused a couple feet from the edge of one of the smooth boulders. Stepping up onto it, I gave Saul a tug. “It looks flat enough on top to dangle your legs off of.”
“Perfect.” His brilliant white smile was like a blinding reflection of the bright sun. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the patches of sun that did sneak their way past the branches of the canopy above seared into my skin like hot marshmallow sticks. I was relieved to find a good shaded spot on the large boulder.
Scooting down onto it with all fours, I prayed we didn’t slip off. Saul followed suit, inching closer until his legs were dangling on the overhang. A slight breeze met us, causing strands of my hair to lift into the air. The sound of leaves rustling like someone shaking the branches out came and went with the wind. This was serenity in all its glory.
“So you loved this place when you could see?”
He nodded. “When I got my license, it was one of the last places I went before my eyesight began to fail. I came up here all the time, any chance I got. Nothing like the majestic panorama of the mountains to make one’s problems feel so small and insignificant.”
That was so close to the truth it made me shiver. Up here, we were specks, tiny spits of nothing in a pot full of beauty. Everything that marred the beauty of the world was obliterated up here on the shoulders of mountains. Even the shiny reflections off the top of cars below, weaving their way up the curvy roads, which could make anyone carsick, were just sparkles in the mix. Tiny dots of shiny nothings. It was truly humbling.
“No wonder you know your way around here so well.”
He grinned sheepishly. “I even spent nights here. The days I ran away from home in my wild days, I spent up here hiking, sleeping under the stars, and taking in the sounds of the woods. It’s quite eye opening to be out here, in the wild, alone, defenseless. In the dark, it made me realize that there was still so much life out here, in the blinding black of night. There, I could hear crickets, calls of animals making their way through the night, avoiding their predators. Even the predators themselves were cozying up, or hunting. I couldn’t be sure what they were all doing, but every noise made me feel more alive with the forest as my old life slowly died away.”
