Her nails dug into my back as her body was racked with pleasure. Her cunt was tight around my cock, and the way it convulsed as her juices flowed freely had me fucking her hard and fast.
Pounding her hot cunt with a ruthlessness that defied imagination, I took Nina exactly the way I wanted to. With unadulterated passion.
I owned her body. No one could ever make her feel the way I could.
“Open your eyes, baby,” I ordered her. I wanted to stare into those green depths as I made her mine.
She held tightly to my shoulders as she opened her eyes and stared into mine. I could see her giving it all to me. Her body, her heart, her soul. It was all mine now. I had earned her love, her worship.
And as I looked into her eyes, my body began to shake. It was all too real. She was under me; I was inside of her. And only then did I realize that I didn’t own her. She owned me.
And I gave myself to her without her ever asking me to. “I’m yours, Nina.”
With one nod of her pretty head, she had me. “I know, baby. Now take me in the ass.”
With a smile, I pulled out of her then turned her onto her stomach. I kept her body flat on the bed, took one of her hands and pulled it up above her head as I slid my body over hers until my cock was on the cusp of her asshole.
She pushed her ass up, and I used my fingertip to prepare her before plunging inside of her even tighter hole. With a gasp from her, I put my lips on the side of her neck. “Hush. It’ll be okay.” I kissed her neck as I fucked her in the ass. Her whimpers became moans, and she moved with me to get my dick into her as deep as it would go.
Grinding hard against her ass, I didn’t stop until she was crying out her pleasure. “I’m coming again!”
I let her body climax then pulled out of her. Turning her over, I spread her legs apart as her body shook with the strong orgasm. Juices poured from her cunt, and I ran my tongue over her before pushing into her pussy to eat her. I played with her clit to get her to keep producing the sweet nectar she gave me.
My cock was straining with the need to release, so I kissed my way up her body, then shoved my cock into her. With hard, demanding thrusts, I finally found my end, filling her with my hot seed.
We both groaned as I shot my load into her. Her hands moved through my hair as she whispered in my ear. “I want your baby, Ashton. I want us to be a family. Give it to me.”
I bit her neck, making her scream with delight. “I’ll give it to you, Nina. I won’t stop until your belly is round with my baby.” I began to move against her again as my cock got hard once more. “I’ll fuck you all night long and into the next day.”
Her breathing was ragged as she said in a quiet voice, “Please, Ashton, please fuck me all night long. I need you inside of me.”
“You’re damn right, you do.” I kissed her sweet lips and off we went again into the bliss of the best sex either of us had ever had.
The sound of my phone beeping had my eyes springing open. It took me a few minutes to pull myself completely out of sleep and the dream I’d been in.
“Shit!”
I sat up, holding my head in my hands. The dream had felt so real; my cock was at full attention. I had to give myself a minute for it to go back to a normal state before I stood up.
Taking a deep breath, I finally got up and went to my desk to see who had texted me. Artimus had sent me a message.
-I wouldn’t be a good friend if I let this go on and did nothing about it. This therapist comes highly recommended. You need to set up an appointment with Jasmine Patel. I’ve sent you an email with a link to her website. Read the reviews and her mission. I think you’ll like what you see, Ashton. Enough is enough. Stop missing out on a future because you’re stuck in the past.-
I fell into my chair and stared at the message. No one had any idea how I felt. No one knew the guilt I was plagued with. No one could ever understand what it meant to be a man who’d killed the woman he loved.
I didn’t need a therapist. I needed to get Nina out of my head so that Natalia could come back.
I knew any therapist would think that the only way I could live a normal life would be to put Natalia out of my mind.
Only I didn’t want to lose my fiancée.
I’ve got to do what’s right for me, not what others think is best. And that’s that.
Chapter Thirteen
Nina
The nerve of that man!
Ashton Lange marched away from me as if he was pissed.
At me!
I hadn’t done one damn thing wrong to that man, and there he was hiding from me as if I was some banshee bitch that was harassing his ass or something. If he thought I was going to take what he’d said lying down, he had another think coming.
I was the one who ended up getting on that elevator instead of him, and I went up to vent my anger and frustration to my friends.
Julia saw the heat in my eyes as I came into her office. “I cannot believe this, Julia.” I flopped down on one of the sofas in her office. “Ashton has been hiding in his office to stay away from me. From me!”
My entire body was shaking. Julia went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine. “This looks like a job for some wine.” She poured me a glass, then one for herself just as Lila knocked on the door. Julia went to the door to open it. “She’s fit to be tied, Lila. Ashton has really done it this time.”
Lila jerked her head toward the wine glasses. “Pour me one while you’re at it. I know this will put my panties in a wad too.” She made her way to me, taking a seat right next to me as she took my hand in hers. “Tell us all about it, Nina.”
“H ... he ... he,” I took a deep breath in an attempt to pull myself together. “He told me he’s been staying in his office to stay away from me.” And then the tears exploded. “What did I do wrong?”
Lila patted my hand. “Nothing. Not one damn thing, Nina.”
Julia placed one of the glasses in my hand. “Here, drink this. It’ll calm you down so you can vent more therapeutically.”
I had half the glass in my gut before Lila peeled it away from me. “Too fast. You don’t need to get hammered, just chilled out a bit.”
Nodding, I knew she was right. If I did get drunk, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. I would end up banging on Ashton’s door, demanding to be let in so I could belt him one right in the kisser.
Julia took a seat on the sofa across from us. “I wonder why he would want to avoid you. You two had a good time last weekend, didn’t you? Was there something that happened between you two that you’ve left out of our conversations? Be honest.”
I thought about it. Had I not paid attention to something that had upset Ashton? “I can’t think of anything that could’ve led to him acting this way.” I hadn’t told them one thing—it hadn’t seemed right to tell anyone about what had almost happened. “When he and I were making breakfast, right before you guys came into the kitchen, he and I almost kissed.”
Lila shook her head as she looked confused. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?”
With a shrug, I answered, “I don’t know. It seemed like a small thing. And it didn’t happen. He never kissed me. So, why bother telling anyone about it?”
Julia sighed. “I don’t know. I guess you were right not to mention it to us. But that still doesn’t help us make sense of things. If he was about to kiss you then, then what the hell could be going on in that man’s head right now?”
“That weekend was supposed to draw you guys closer together, not pull you further apart,” Lila said then took a drink of the wine. “That man is so confusing.”
Julia quirked her lips to one side, looking deep in thought. “You know, if the problem in the first place was this business with his fiancée, then do you think this could have something to do with her again?”
I nodded, then jumped up, stomping my feet as I hopped up and down in a fit. “Of course she has something to do with this! Be he was being so good with talking to me about her. So why is thi
s happening now?”
There was no way that I could take any more of this. It was making me crazy.
Lila grabbed me, placing my ass back on the sofa. “Take a sip, Nina.” She held the wine glass to my lips.
I took a sip, but it didn’t do me any good. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Both of them looked at me with stunned expressions. Lila’s mouth gaped open. “You’re done with Ashton Lange? After two years, you are really done?”
Nodding, I took another sip. “I can’t compete with a dead woman. I never stood a chance. I’m finally getting that through my thick skull. He was never free; I can see that now. She’s got a hold on him from the grave. She’ll never let go.”
Julia was quick to say, “It’s not like that, Nina. She’s not the one who’s holding onto anyone. It’s him. He’s holding onto her because of the guilt he feels about her death. And he misses her too. Everything between them is unresolved. She left this Earth when they both loved each other so much. They had a whole life planned together. All that went away in a flash.”
“And I get that.” My hands fisted in my lap. “But I can’t keep on trying when he’s being mean to me. Ashton has never been mean to me. I don’t know how to take it. It just makes me want to get away from him,” I took a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts in some semblance of order. “I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. How can he act like this after we just had a wonderful, fun weekend of finally getting to really know one another? I just don’t understand.”
Artimus came through the door that connected his and Julia’s offices. “I can hear the shouting all the way in my office. What the hell has happened now, Nina?”
“Ashton told me that I’m the reason he’s been hiding in his office. I’m the reason he’s been avoiding everyone and everything. And I’m pretty upset—and I’m also done with that man!” I downed the rest of my wine. “Can I leave early and have the rest of the day off? I don’t think I can focus on holding those cue cards without throwing them up in the air and yelling at Ashton, since I know he’ll be watching from his office.”
Julia nodded. “Of course you can.”
Artimus looked pissed. “That’s it! I’m not going to let my friend throw his life away any longer.” He stormed out of the office and back into his.
Julia watched her husband leave. “I wonder what he’s got up his sleeve.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said as I got up to leave. “I’m done. I really am. This is it for me. No matter what Artimus does to get that man to come around, it won’t be enough. If it’s so easy for him to treat me this way, then I’m done wasting my time waiting around for him.”
“You can’t stop trying now, Nina,” Julie tried. “I believe this is just Ashton’s last-ditch effort to keep things the way they are—to keep his fiancée alive in his mind. This is the biggest change we’ve seen in him in two years—clearly something is happening with him that he hadn’t allowed before. He needs help with this. And you seem to be the only one he’ll talk to.”
“You know what? It’s not my responsibility to fix all of him problems. I’ve tried to help him with that, and where did it get me? If this is the way he responds to someone giving a shit about him, then he can kiss my ass, as far as I’m concerned.” I grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door opened. “I’ll be at home. I don’t know what I’ll be doing, but I’ll be doing something, I can tell you that much. I will not sit around, hoping that one day Ashton Lange will get his house in order. Because that day will never come.”
Lila and Julia came to the door, both enveloping me in a comforting hug. Julia patted me on the back. “Nina, let things calm down. You’re mad right now. And you’ve got every right to be. But don’t do anything that you’ll regret.”
Lila looked at me with a smile as she winked. “That means don’t go finding another man to get under, just so you can get over Ashton.”
“I hadn’t even thought of that.” The idea didn’t seem half bad to me. “And just why shouldn’t I do that, Lila? It sounds like a great idea.”
Her arm went around my shoulders as we all three walked toward the elevator. “Because right now you’re mad and hurt. When your judgement is clouded by that, it’s never a good time to get under anyone.”
Maybe she was right, but maybe she wasn’t. All I knew was that I’d wasted the last two years of my life pining after a man who would never accept a future with me, and it was time for a change. No more waiting around for anyone.
Getting onto the elevator, I waved goodbye to my friends as the doors closed. “See you on Monday.”
“Have a good weekend,” Lila said.
“Be good,” Julia threw in just before the doors closed.
The ride down to my floor had me thinking about what they’d said. Why should I be good?
I had been good for years, and where had that gotten me?
Nowhere, that’s where.
I went to my office to get my purse and shut down my computer. As I stopped at my door, I looked down the hallway at Ashton’s closed one.
He had never closed his door before. There were always people stopping by his office, and he always had a smile for them. Now he wasn’t talking to anyone.
As I thought about that, I waited to feel my heart aching for him. But it didn’t ache at all. I was that pissed at him.
So, I headed into my office. It seemed I was officially done with Ashton Lange. He’d stepped over a line that I hadn’t even known was there. Apparently, having someone turn away from me after I’d given them nothing but compassion and friendship—a bit more than friendship, even—was enough to give me an extreme change of heart.
I wanted him to know how mad I was at him. So, I sat down and wrote him an email that let him know exactly how done I was with him, and why.
Ashton,
I know you’ve suffered. I was there for you. I never pushed you to do anything you didn’t want to. I was your friend.
I’m not sure how things got to be the way they are, but I’m done trying to figure things out.
Here it is in black and white for you: I’m done.
You don’t have to hide in your office anymore. I won’t be trying to speak with you. I don’t even care to be your friend anymore, much less anything more than that.
I’d had this idea that you and I could be something special. I felt it all weekend long too. I had never felt closer to anyone than I felt with you.
Did I make that up?
Was any of it real for you?
Maybe I was living in a fantasy world, to believe that you and I could be more than friends. But that bubble has burst. You blew it all up.
I sat there, reading each word over and over until my eyes grew blurry. Then, one letter at a time, I deleted the whole thing until the page was blank.
No matter what Ashton had done, I wasn’t going to hurt him. Not on purpose, I wouldn’t.
He had his demons. I was well aware of that fact.
And I wouldn’t add to the beating he was already giving himself. But I also wasn’t about to keep on trying, to keep on waiting.
That wasn’t getting me anywhere, anyway.
Chapter Fourteen
Ashton
The longer I sat there, looking at the text Artimus had sent to me, the madder I got.
Who did he think he was, sending me that information? Why did he think he could butt into that part of my life?
I had to make some drastic changes, and there was no better time than the present.
Storming up to Artimus’ office, I flew off the elevator as Brady and his intern Veronica looked at me with mouths gaping.
“Is Artimus in?” I asked with a sharp tone.
Brady nodded. “Yeah. Are you okay, Ashton?”
“Never better.” I hit the door to my boss’s office with my fist. “It’s me, Artimus. Open up.”
Once the door opened, I saw Artimus sitting behind his large desk, looking at me with an alarmed expression. “What the
hell, Ashton?”
Taking long strides, I got to his desk where I pounded my fist on top of it. “Who do you think you are?”
His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “Take a seat.”
“No.” I banged the desk again. “Why do you think you can butt into my personal business?”
He stood up too, trying to exert his authority, I assumed. “Listen to me, Ashton Lange. I know you’re upset and not yourself right now. And I do understand why. But you can’t stand here and ask me why I think I have a right to do anything where you’re concerned. You are one of my best friends. I can help you—or try to, at least—if I feel you need help. Which you do, by the way.”
I hated the fact that he thought I needed help. “You don’t understand at all, Artimus. No one does.”
“And that’s where you’re completely wrong, Ashton.” He came around his desk to put his hand on my shoulder. “Other people have gone through loss. Other people have lived through the same thing you have. There are people who can help you.”
All I could do was shake my head, knowing that he didn’t understand what I needed at all. “No one has gone through exactly what I have. No one, Artimus. You could never understand. And I don’t expect you to. What I do expect from you is loyalty. But you’ve just proven to me that your loyalty doesn’t lie with me, it lies with Nina. I never expected that from you or Duke.”
A wry smile curled his lips. “Have I disappointed you, Ashton?”
With a nod, I answered his question. “More than you know. Being ambushed by the one person I didn’t want to see and finding out that it was all your doing—well, that fucking sucks.”
“You needed to see her. You needed to talk to her. But I know that didn’t go the way I hoped it would.” He walked away from me, going to the bar in the far corner of his office and pulling out a bottle of Scotch. “Come, let’s have a drink and talk about things.”
I didn’t want a drink. I just wanted to get shit straight with him and get the hell out of there. But my feet went toward him anyway. My hand took the glass of alcohol. Then my lips parted to drink some of it down.
Dirty Desires Page 8
