She glanced at his camouflage duffle bag in the back seat. “Is that all you have?”
He quirked a brow. “It’s all I need.”
“I’m sure you’re used to traveling light, but I mean—you’re practically moving in.”
“Don’t you worry about me, Jenna.” He gave her a lopsided grin before driving. “Any rambunctious kittens today?”
The familiar brightness sparkled as she told him about kittens, a golden retriever, and a French bulldog.
After he parked outside the yellow Colonial, he walked with her to the front door, placing a hand on her lower back. His pulse skittered higher as he pictured the previous kiss at her doorstop. But this time, he wasn’t saying goodbye. She unlocked the door and welcomed him in through the second door leading into her apartment.
“Oh yes, here’s your key.” She handed a silver one on a lobster keychain to him.
Matty wrapped his hand around the cool metal. She trusted him with the key to her apartment and that meant something. He stood straighter and his chest puffed out more before he tucked the key safely away in one of his pockets.
He entered a living room and scanned the place. It was far from spacious. It had a burgundy velvet sofa, coffee table, and a television. The coffee table had a stack of textbooks, a cute animal type of gift book, and a well-read true crime paperback. Beyond the living room was a small kitchen with a round white table. A hall veered off to the left where he assumed her bedroom and the bathroom were.
The bedroom. A reminder that he was alone with Jenna in her apartment. They’d be sleeping under the same roof. Before he let his imagination take him somewhere he shouldn’t be, he took a long, slow breath. “Nice place.”
A chihuahua trotted over barking away.
“It’s okay.” Jenna bent down to pet the excited furball. She stood and faced him. “Meet my dog, Trixie.”
“That’s not a dog.” He laughed and bent over to pet the tiny animal. Her short soft fur brushed against his fingertips.
“Maybe she’s not like the kind you’re used to, but she is one nonetheless.” Jenna motioned to the hall. “And here comes Lola.”
A black cat with green eyes strolled in at a languid pace and eyed Matty. Much less impressed than the chihuahua.
“Hope you’re okay with pets.”
“I love animals.” He reached his hand out to Lola so she could smell it. After a wary glance, she did so and then brushed against his leg.
“I’m sure you will be covered in fur by the time they mark you. There are lint rollers everywhere, so I don’t leave the house covered like I’m wearing a fur coat.”
“I’m used to it. It doesn’t bother me. I spent much of my time in the Navy covered in dog fur.”
Her brows furrowed. “Why?
“I was a K-9 handler.”
“Oh, Derek never told me that. I just figured you did—,” she shrugged, "—SEAL things.”
“We do. And we have a role on the team. For instance, my brother Angelo was a corpsman, meaning he took care of medical needs. I worked with our team’s K-9.” His tone sounded detached.
“That’s great. You always loved dogs.” Her bright eyes widened. “Did you work with German Shepherds? I know they’re used in some police and military operations.
His muscles tightened. Why had he brought this up? He didn’t want to talk about Gunther. “No, a Belgian Malinois.”
“They’re beautiful.” Jenna’s eyes expressed both admiration and respect.
His throat felt tight, and he swallowed. Time to change the subject. He dropped his duffel bag beside the sofa. He nodded at it. “So this is my room?”
She pursed her lips and then opened them. “Yes. Sorry, I don’t have a guest room. Veterinary assistants aren’t exactly rolling in the money pool.”
“It’s great that you’re pursuing your dreams. I remember you telling me how you wanted to help animals.”
“Thanks. Plans went astray for a while, but I’m finally back on track.”
He gazed at her. That’s exactly how he felt—astray. “How did you manage to do that?”
“Do what exactly?”
“Get back on track.”
“Oh.” She tapped her lips. “Remembering what I wanted out of my life and then starting with the steps to get there. I wanted to work with animals. Right now, I’m an assistant, but I’m studying to be a vet tech. And I also learn more by volunteering at a cat shelter.” She shrugged. “So baby steps.”
He nodded. “You’re smart, Jenna. And caring. Always were.”
She glanced away and a faint smile tugged at her lips. “Thanks.”
He sat down on the couch. “This is heaven compared to many of the places I’ve slept. Soft. Has comfortable cushions. Perfect.”
She frowned. “Maybe I should be offering you my bed and I should stay out here. After all, you’re doing me a favor.”
An image of being in Jenna’s bed did nothing to tamper his heightened awareness that they were together and alone. He stuffed that vision away. “And you’re doing one for me. You stay in your room, I’ll be fine out here.”
“Okay.” She grinned. “I’ll show you around, so you can make yourself at home.”
She showed him the remotes for the electronics in the living room. Then she led him into the kitchen, a small, but cheery space painted a sage green and with small framed pictures of herbs and vegetables on the walls. The pets followed him around, curious about the newcomer in their space, so he paused to give them some attention.
She pointed out the location of the bathroom next. Then she gestured toward an open door. “That’s my room.”
He glanced inside. Her furniture was white and the bed was covered with a plush purple comforter and fluffy white pillows. So inviting. He turned to her. She’d been watching him, but when their eyes met, she broke the gaze and turned away. Her cheeks turned slightly pink.
Was she thinking what he was? With her bed right there. So close. Just a few steps and they would be on it. He squared his jaw. This was not a good way to start.
“Nice place,” he repeated.
He suppressed a groan. Shakespeare he was not.
They returned to the living room where she pulled her gaze back to his. “Is this weird?”
“Is what weird?” He knew exactly what she was thinking, but figured playing ignorant was better than revealing exactly what was on his mind.
“You know.” She motioned with her hand. “Us being here together.”
Alone. “Not at all.”
He forced himself to sound normal, but his voice sounded strained. He cleared his throat. “It’s completely normal,” he added. His voice still sounded far from it. “It’s just two friends doing each other a favor.” Then why did it feel like his bullshit detector turned on and called him out?
She nodded slowly. “Right, just two friends...” She glanced toward the kitchen. “Want to get something to eat soon?” Her tone was friendly, yet a simmering buzz of awareness lingered between them.
“That sounds like a great idea.” He grinned. “A DeMarchis man is always hungry.”
Oh hell, why did he have to make it sound more sensual? So much for staying cool.
But she was so close. So fuckin’ close that he could smell the sweet scent of her shampoo. She always smelled so good.
He better check himself and tone down anything that might come off as flirtatious. The last thing he needed was to let his guard down, allowing his restraint to vanish and acting upon his urges to touch her.
In other words, act like a jackass.
If he made a move on her while he was supposed to be protecting her, that was exactly what he’d be.
And Derek would never forgive him.
Jenna
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Such strange sensations raced through Jenna’s body as they returned to the living room, her skin felt weird and tingly. What was it? Just because Matty was in her place?
That idea wa
s ridiculous. They were grown adults and had known each other a long time. She shouldn’t feel so unraveled just by having some guy in her apartment.
Because it wasn’t just some guy.
Ugh, that didn’t help.
She had to tone down any discomfort on their first night together at her place. Keep things from getting too weird.
Erm, she glanced around. What next? She’d mentioned food.
Nothing wrong with two friends sharing a meal. And that’s what they said they were—friends. Friends who were doing each other a favor. Friends, friends, friends. Nothing more. She couldn’t let her imagination take it anywhere else.
Even after that heated spark between them when she’d shown him her bedroom.
Maybe she’d just imagined it.
Just because he was staying at her place, it didn’t mean they would be sharing meals. It wasn’t like they were living together. Still she’d tossed the question out there and he’d responded positively, so she stepped into the kitchen.
“I stocked up on some groceries to keep us going for a few days.” She also grabbed the stack of takeout menus from her junk drawer. “Or, we can order. We have the usual choices.” She flipped through the menus, grateful for the excuse for something to focus on with her hands. “Pizza. Subs. Chinese. Thai—”
“Lady’s choice. There isn’t much I won’t eat.”
Was there a sensual undertone to his words, or was she just imagining it?
Don’t go there.
She exhaled. Time to make a decision among all the jittery thoughts skittering about in her brain. “Uhhh.” She scanned the first menu. “Pizza?”
“Solid choice,” Matty agreed. “Pizza is always good.”
“And a salad?”
“Sure.” He grinned. “My mom still makes sure I eat my veggies.”
She exhaled. That wasn’t so bad. They’d dealt with one of the uncertainties of him spending the night.
“Something to drink?” she asked.
“Do you have any beer?”
“No, but I can pick some up.”
“Water is fine. I’ll get some another day.”
Another day. Right. Because this wasn’t just for one night. It might be several. How many in total? They hadn’t discussed that yet. Perhaps until they both felt assured Roberto wasn’t a threat.
Or until Matty got sick of the situation and moved on with his life.
She nodded. “I’ll call and place the order.”
He picked up the menu and scanned the front. “Don’t bother having it delivered. It’s close enough that we can walk.”
What she had planned was walking there herself. She’d get some fresh air and brace herself for the night ahead with Matty sleeping just feet from her.
That wouldn’t happen if he was with her. She bit her lip. His was a better plan, naturally. No way would he want her to walk anywhere by herself right now with how protective he was being over Roberto.
And if she admitted it, she kind of liked the idea of them walking to get pizza together.
Or walking anywhere together.
She sighed. It was going to be a long night.
The sun was still out when they walked to the pizza shop that evening, yet the temperature had dropped. She shoved her hands into her pockets, but then pulled them out in case they’d hold hands as they had been doing.
Matty appeared distracted, his expression haunted and forlorn as he gazed at the commercial stretch of stores and restaurants ahead. Her heart panged for him. What was on his mind?
She reached out and took his hand. His head jerked, as if she’d startled him out of some thought.
“Oh, right.” He nodded.
Right. That’s exactly how it felt to hold his hand, so large and warm. And protective. That’s how he made her feel. Maybe she could somehow do the same for him.
Jenna wanted to ask him more about his work with K-9s. She loved animals, which was why she spent her days working with them, but sensed him close up whenever she asked anything about the dog. He changed the subject soon afterwards. Whatever it was, he didn’t seem to want to discuss it.
Instead, she focused on the other big question on her mind. “Now that you’ve been back for a bit, do you think you’ll stay in Newport?”
He shrugged, but his expression didn’t change. “Don’t know.”
That wasn’t very specific. She didn’t want to pry, but it was a fairly innocuous question, right? “Do you want to stay?”
He took a long slow breath and exhaled. “I’ve been gone a long time. Things have changed.” He gazed around. “And of course, I’ve changed a lot since I last lived here.”
She tilted her head. “Does it still seem like home?”
“In some ways, yes.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “In other ways, no. I haven’t been anywhere for long enough since I was eighteen to consider it home.”
Oh. That seemed so difficult. Instinctively, she squeezed his hand. How could anyone not have a place where they considered home?
She nodded to herself. Someone who had devoted his life to protecting others. A new appreciation for his sacrifices rose.
Since he’d responded to her last question, she continued. “What about what to do for a living? Any ideas there?”
His lips pulled together tight. “I’m trying not to think about it too much yet. After all the years and days and hours of commitment to a mission, I just want to be unattached from anything for a month. No commitments. No responsibilities.”
She groaned. “And yet, you’ve offered to help me. I feel bad.”
He fixed a warm gaze on her. “Don’t. I volunteered.”
“Right. You’re doing a favor for Derek. Some sort of obligation out of friendship. But you shouldn’t feel that way. I’ve made my mistakes and I should be the one to live with them. Nobody else.”
“No, Buggie.” He turned and mussed up her hair, the same way he had done when they were kids. “Because we grew up together, and that makes you like my little sister too. No way in hell am I going to let anyone hurt someone close to me.”
She nodded and swallowed, and her throat felt tight and parched. Hearing how he’d look out for her warmed her, but his other words stung. He thought of her as his little sister. Ouch. Why did that feel like rejection?
Had she been misinterpreting his reaction to her? The heat in those lingering glances, was that all in her imagination? It had to be. He just admitted that he thought about her as family. Translation: nothing would happen between them.
Ever.
Chapter 9
Matty
Holding her hand as they’d walked to the pizza shop had been a challenge. How could he not think of taking her into his arms and kissing her until they were both out of breath? Instead, he reminded himself like a drum beating into his skull: She’s Buggie, Derek’s sister. Don’t look, don’t touch.
At least, he had the pizza box to keep his hands full as they walked back to her apartment.
“Smells good.” Jenna noted.
The aromatic scents of sauce and melted cheese did smell delicious. “Oh yeah, can’t wait to dig in.”
Although his hands were occupied, it didn’t stop him from moving closer to her. It was like she had some magnetic core that drew him closer.
He forced himself to move a few inches away. It was a protective instinct driving him, that was all. By virtue of her being Derek’s sister, Matty had developed that big brother mindset. Combined with the task of protecting her, it was merely his wires getting crossed and giving him mixed signals.
Because anything else happening between them was off limits.
Back in the apartment, at least they had the table in between them and the pizza to distract him as they talked about old times. Watching her lick tomato sauce off her bottom lip made him lose focus. Once they moved onto the couch in the living room, his heartbeat quickened again.
Trixie jumped up in between them with perfect timing to save hi
m from doing something stupid. “Hey, girl. We’re gonna watch a movie. You want to hang?”
Trixie wagged her tail and Matty rubbed her chin.
Jenna picked up the remote and flipped through options on the TV. “Are you okay with a rom com?”
“Sure.” He would have picked something more action-packed, but wanted her to be happy. If she wanted something light, good. The last thing she needed was more anxiety.
Although if they’d watched a scary movie together and she’d jumped, moving closer to him, he wouldn’t protest. It would be far more enjoyable than the current awkward state on her sofa where she sat too far away and the pull to her was undeniable.
She pressed play and settled back. Trixie lowered her head into a resting pose. He stole a glance at Jenna as the opening credits appeared. She wore leggings and a soft white sweater. Were they as soft as her skin? He glanced at her hand, pictured himself brushing his fingers against hers and not pulling away. With her hair pulled out of her ponytail and spread over her shoulders, it looked soft and shiny. He wanted to run his fingers through it.
The softest touch could lead to more.
But while they were inside her place, he had no reason to continue with the act of playing her boyfriend. Roberto wasn’t in the room, so Matty had no justification to touch her, pull her close, or kiss her.
Lola sauntered into the room and climbed up onto the couch, curling into a ball closer to Jenna.
He shifted on the couch for the third time.
“Everything all right?” She turned to him with a questioning look.
“Yeah.” He struggled to keep his reply nonchalant. Besides the squirming, he assessed his body language. He’d dragged himself to the edge of the sofa as far from her as he could get. His muscles were taut, posture straight. If he was her, he’d fix on that message right away.
Something about her drew him in. She had a brightness that reminded him of sunlight, warming everything—and everyone—in her presence. Like a warm, sunny day at the beach, the kind that was perfect to bask in.
And she was hot as hell.
The battle raging in his head warned him to back off.
Matty: A Navy SEAL Romance Page 7
