She cast her eyes down toward the white comforter. “Thought you wanted space and I realized I needed it too.”
“It was just a kiss, Jenna.” When she recoiled, he paused and counted to three. “What I mean is that we shouldn’t let it complicate things. We can just put it behind us. Or, if you want me out of here, just say the word and I’ll go.”
Her eyes looked pained. “I don’t want you to go.” Her voice lowered to just above a whisper.
“What do you want?” He walked over, moved the book to her nightstand, and sat beside her. Awareness that they were both alone together on her bed coiled inside him.
When he smelled her floral shampoo from her still damp hair, he resisted the urge to move closer still.
“I want you to get it.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t ‘just a kiss’ to me.”
He stared at her as her words swam through his head.
She raised both hands into fists and then lowered them to her side. “I want you to see me for once.”
He blinked twice. “What?”
She ran her hands through her hair. “Damn it, Matty. How can you still be blind? Am I still just some annoying kid to you? Or worse, invisible?”
His heart thundered with two sonorous beats. “Of course not.”
“Can’t you see that I want you? That I’ve wanted you for a long time?”
His pulse fired. He sought the right response. “Jenna…”
She sighed. “I had a crush on you when we were kids,” she admitted. “But this is different. I think we understand each other and that this could develop into something real.” She motioned between them. “A relationship between you and me—one without Derek. But I get it. I heard you. You don’t see me that way. Kissing me was a mistake.”
Holy shit. Had he ever said that? His palms felt hot. He rubbed them on his pants. “Of course I see you, Jenna. I always have. And if you think I haven’t noticed just exactly how you’ve grown up, you should spend five minutes in my head as I scream at myself not to notice.” He adjusted on the bed. “I’ve been trying hard to do the right thing here, but it’s killing me. And I’ve been questioning everything—whether I’ve imagined you being in danger.” It came to him in a flash, as illuminating as sunlight. “Maybe it was a way to get closer to you.” Shit. He rubbed his jaw. “I let my guard down the other night. A part of me doesn’t regret it because it felt so good to talk to you and even better to kiss you and not pretend it was some act. Even if it was wrong and I made a mistake.”
Coming in here was a bad idea. Sitting on her bed was even worse. She was too freaking close, tempting him, which dismantled bricks from this flimsy wall he’d tried to build between them. He was already expelling words he shouldn’t be saying, revealing feelings he couldn’t take back once they plummeted out of his mouth.
Her lips parted. She fixed her gaze on him and ran her hand over his chest. “Does this feel like a mistake?”
His heartbeat quickened beneath her hand. “No.”
She took one of his hands and placed it on her neck before leading it down the side of her body and up to one breast. “Does this feel like a mistake?”
A buzz of anticipation hummed through his body. “No.” His voice came out strangled.
She leaned forward. Her eyes gleamed with expectation before the lids fluttered lower. “What about this?” A hair’s width away, her warm breath stroked like feathers on his lips. Then her lips glided against his for a heartbeat.
His blood thundered like electric jolts through his veins. “No.”
“Show me,” she challenged in a voice above a whisper.
His throat turned parched, and he swallowed. Everything around them disappeared as his world narrowed to Jenna—her beautiful eyes, her soft skin, her enticing rose fragrance.
Nobody else mattered at that moment. Not Derek. Not Roberto. Nothing in the world outside this room. It was just the two of them on her bed and that’s all he wanted—to be with Jenna.
Matty couldn’t fight this yearning any longer, and he didn’t want to. He cupped both her cheeks in his hands and kissed her, claiming her with all that possessive drive he’d struggled to restrain for so long.
This time nothing could pull him away. Not wild horses or a line of armored tanks.
Or even an older brother who warned Matty to back off.
Nothing and no one.
Chapter 16
Jenna
Was she dreaming? Another one of her fantasies with Matty here in her bed rather than an agonizing distance away on her living room sofa.
He smelled so good. That wild masculine musk and clean soap smell that was all Matty. Too delicious to resist.
He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue between her parted lips. Desire hummed through her leaving a trail of pleasure.
No doubt this was definitely real.
Admitting her true feelings for him had left her feeling raw and exposed, but it had been worth it. It ended the torment of pining for someone so close yet unreachable.
He cradled the back of her neck with one hand and trailed his fingers over her neck and lower with the other. She never wanted it to end.
But she also wanted so much more.
After they broke apart, gasping for breath, she whispered, “Don’t leave.”
The hunger in his gaze made her swallow. “I don’t plan to.”
Those four words left her giddy with delight. But, she didn’t just want a kiss—a kiss that he’d break when he felt some obligation to her brother to stay away from her. She had to make her desires clear. “Stay here with me tonight.”
“Yes.” His voice came out low and husky. “I need you, Jenna.” He kissed her again, more intensely, as if branding her as his.
Her body softened like she’d become liquified. She ran her hands along his jaw, stroking along the soft hair and rough bristle of his beard. Moving her fingers down over his collarbone and over the hard muscles of his chest sent a tingle of heat through her body. How many times had she yearned to touch him like this? To explore every part of his hard body—and not as part of an act.
Matty touched her body with a soft reverence, like a sculptor assessing his work. “You’re so beautiful.”
That gentle, exploratory touch ignited her like smoldering coals that had lain cold and dormant for far too long. Was it because she had ached for him for years? Waiting, hoping, yet fearing her fantasies might never become fruitful?
She sighed. “Oh, Matty.”
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured.
As long as she had? She doubted that, but did it matter? She finally had him here with her, and she wouldn’t let anything spoil the moment.
“Me, too,” she admitted.
His lips brushed down her neck, burning her with anticipation. How would she not combust from such an intense need?
He leaned her back onto the bed and kissed down her torso. While he tempted her with his mouth, he ran one hand down her side, and then up to her breast. She exhaled with a shudder and arched her back.
“Why did I fight this?” he murmured before he returned to kiss her lips.
Jenna wrapped her arms around his back, drawing him closer. Her heart throbbed, hammering out her desire for more. For him to bury himself deep inside her.
He moved one hand beneath her pajama tank top and over her torso. She wanted that barrier removed, to allow him unrestricted access to every inch of her. She broke from his lips to arch her upper body. With Matty’s help, she pulled it overhead.
“So beautiful.” His voice came out a low, decadent rumble. He caressed the flesh of her breasts.
The rough callouses of his fingertips felt so good against her skin, reminding her that he was a warrior—one who had done so much to protect her.
She reached for his T-shirt and pulled it up. “I want to see you too.”
He pulled the shirt off and tossed it to the floor. “Is that better?”
“God, yes.” She ran her hands o
ver those hard planes, dipping her index finger through the crevices of abs that made her want to swoon. And then gently brushed them over the faint lines of white scars. Their rough texture against his otherwise smooth skin reminded her of his anguish.
He slid his body back over hers and kissed her again, leaning back onto the bed. She trailed her fingers down his muscular back and pressed him closer. The skin-on-skin heat was enough to make her cry out with relief, but she wanted more. So much more.
Matty entranced her with his slow hands and patient mouth, driving her near delirium. He moved down to her breasts, rubbing each nipple until each sensitive peak hardened into buds. He took each one into his mouth, savoring them with delicious slowness.
She writhed beneath him and ran her fingers through his hair. “That feels so good. And it’s driving me crazy.”
He licked down between her breasts and around her naval. “What do you want?”
“You,” she begged. “All of you.” She tugged at his pants, desperate to remove them.
“Soon, Jenna,” he promised.
He slid her pajama bottoms down. She raised her hips and helped move them down her body. As he exposed more of her flesh, he followed with a trail of kisses down her legs. A wild inferno of need funneled higher inside her. God, she’d go mad if she didn’t have him inside her soon.
Once her pajamas were removed, she lay on the bed. He paused and took in a deep breath as he gazed at the full length of her naked body.
“How did I luck out with you wanting me?” His eyes burned with torment and desire. “Even now?”
Jenna swallowed, never feeling more vulnerable and exposed in her entire life. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. Never so much as now.”
As a teenager, she’d fantasized about losing her virginity to Matty, but this was so much better. All those years of pining had built up, so even the merest touch from him was nothing less than explosive.
He caressed her face with one hand as he stared into her eyes. “I wish I’d known.”
If he had, what would have changed? They might have had a fling and then he’d go off into the Navy?
What did it matter? It didn’t happen that way. What they had was now.
“It’s better this way.” She swallowed. “I know what I want.” She reached around his waist and pulled him to her. “And please, please, please don’t make me wait for it any longer.”
“No more waiting.” He pulled back and removed his pants. His camouflage boxers showed the outline of his promising bulge.
She drank in the view of his beautiful body. His body was toned and hard from years of intense SEAL training and every bit as powerful as she’d expected. The muscles in his legs were taut and lined with deeper scars than the ones on his abdomen, and they tugged at her as she empathized with his loss once again.
Matty crawled over her and pressed his warm body against hers as he kissed her. He slid his fingers between her legs and stroked her, and she shuddered with need.
“You’re so wet,” he whispered against her lips.
“Because I want you.” She reached down and stroked him. So hard. So promising.
He moaned. She slid his boxers down from his waist, and he pulled away to remove them. Her breath quickened as each second without touching him ticked away. He freed his erection, and she bit her lip. It was even more impressive than she’d fantasized.
Soon as he had promised had to become now.
When she reached for him, they both fell back together onto the bed in a desperate, passionate kiss. His hard length slid between her legs, achingly close to where she yearned. She reached down and wrapped her hands around him.
A guttural moan vibrated from his chest. “That feels good.”
She guided him toward her entrance, needing a taste before she died of this hunger.
“Hold on.” He pulled away and his sudden absence hit her like a cold slap.
He reached for the shorts and pulled out a packet. A condom. Oh good. She’d been too enraptured by this touch to even think straight about practical concerns. She bit her lip and watched him slide the condom down, her heart firing at a frantic pace. Then, he moved back between her thighs and teased her entrance.
“Matty, please.” She begged and pulled at his lower back. “I’m ready.” So ready.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushed in.
She gasped. It had been a while. “Give me a second.” Maybe she wasn’t as ready as she thought.
After a deep breath, she coaxed her tight muscles to relax. She wasn’t going to let her neglected body parts ruin the moment. “Okay.”
He searched her eyes, mouth so close that his breath mingled with hers. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’s been a while.” She wrapped her legs around his waist, encouraging him to continue.
As he inched in, the sounds of their frantic breaths grew louder.
He paused. “Still okay?” The brush of his lips tickled her ear.
“Oh yesss.”
He continued at a gentle pace, stretching her as she adjusted to his presence.
“You feel so good, Jenna.” His voice was a velvety croon that sent ripples of heat throughout her body.
“Yes,” she cried. “Don’t stop.”
Finally, he pushed in to the hilt. She sighed at the delicious fullness she’d craved. “Oh, Matty.” On a deep exhale, she whispered his full name, “Matteo.”
He moved in and out of her and she matched his rhythm from below.
A sound like a growl tore from his throat. “So fuckin’ good.”
Matty increased the pace, and she met him thrust for thrust as each turned more frantic. He lifted her hips, and the angle stroked her with delicious friction. Her breathy sighs turned to moans. She needed more and arched up, grinding her sweet spot against his hard length.
Matty responded with deeper thrusts and more pressure that send her rising, rising, rising…
He added his thumb. She couldn’t take it yet leaned into it, frantic for more. Thoughts vanished. She abandoned all control and lost herself in the overwhelming sensations.
“Oh Matty!” Pleasure crested through her as she exploded. Wave after incredible wave cascaded through her and she turned boneless. She relaxed into a mindless state of bliss.
He allowed her to recover for a few seconds before he pumped into her again. Oh so quickly, her body responded to his thrusts. The tingles inside returned.
“Let me on top,” she said.
“Fuck yes.” He rolled on to his back, coaxing her to shift with him.
Once she’d properly straddled him, she slid down onto his shaft. He stretched her with such incredible fullness at this angle. She moved up and down at a slow, delicious pace that made her quiver. The way he watched her with such desire gleaming in his eyes was more sensual than any fantasy.
He gripped her hips as he met her pace, thrusting with greater force from beneath her. The tingling inside grew to an unrelenting, fierce demand for more.
She quickened the tempo. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Heat engulfed her body. Soon she was climbing, climbing, climbing again...
“Come for me, Jenna. All over me.” Matty’s gravelly command shot her over the edge.
She broke, shattering around him with his name on her lips.
Matty
Shit. Jenna felt too good. The way she pulsed around him like tight, hot silk did him in.
He’d wanted to savor the exquisite feel of her all night, but the incredible sensations rocking through her did him in.
He hammered into her from below with wild thrusts as he bordered on a razor’s edge of control. And then he lost it.
“Fuck,” he cried and exploded inside her.
Hot jets shot into her, seeming to be without end, draining him of every final restraint. When it finally stopped, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him.
Her skin was a thousand degrees and slick against his own. The scent of the heat and
the desire perfuming the air was fuckin’ hot. Her heart pounded against his, which was about to hammer out of his chest. As it slowed, he noted the sounds of their escalated breathing and another Adele song.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Phenomenal.”
As their breathing slowed, he held her close and stroked her back. His eyes drifted closed. He pictured Derek’s reaction if he found out about this, and then squashed that guilt away. That could wait.
Matty had enough guilt to occupy his thoughts during the day. Tonight was just for Jenna and him and he wouldn’t let anything ruin it this time.
* * *
“Any regrets?” Jenna’s blue eyes stared at him with curiosity the next morning.
They lay on their sides on the rumpled bedding as sunlight filtered into the room. Matty had held her most of the night.
A thought that they’d have to tell Derek entered his mind, accompanied by a flicker of guilt, but he shoved it aside. They’d deal with that later.
He wouldn’t let anything interfere with this feeling. Content. When was the last time he’d experienced it?
“Are you kidding me?” He trailed his fingers down the side of her naked body beneath the sheet and his cock twitched. “You?”
She gave him a naughty grin. “What do you think?”
“Just hoping I lived up to your expectation.”
She stroked his chest and down his torso. “Exceeded every one of them.”
His cock twitched and he moaned. “If you keep touching me like that, I might keep you in bed all day.”
She glanced at the clock and furrowed his brows. “I have to head to the cat shelter in half-an-hour.”
He rolled her on her back and pressed his erection against her. “I know a good way to get your blood flowing.”
“Oh, that sounds like a promising morning.”
He kissed her neck and glided his hands over her body, instantly greedy to touch all of her. Her supple breasts were as soft as crushed velvet. He couldn’t resist taking one into his mouth and then the other while he slid a hand in between her legs. She was already so slick, driving up his need to bury himself deep within her.
Matty: A Navy SEAL Romance Page 14
