by Anne, Melody
“Maybe I am. It’s good to take time off,” he said with a wink.
“Promise you aren’t going to sneak off to work while leaving me passed out in this bed,” she said.
Now that she’d committed to finishing this project, she didn’t want to be left behind. She was beginning to trust Noah more each day, but there was still that insecure piece of her that worried.
“This project is all about the two of us. I promise: we started it together, and we’ll definitely finish it that way.”
His words made her smile—and relax. For a job she’d tried to quit multiple times, it was funny how anxious she was at the thought of being left out now. She was putting her heart and soul into this, and it would lead to so many other things in life as well. She could see the possibilities right before her eyes.
“Where are we?” she asked. She didn’t recognize the bedroom. She looked around, and it didn’t seem to fit him.
“We’re at Crew’s place in the guest cottage,” he told her. “You’ve only seen the living room. It’s a shame.”
His words made her smile. She was finally in his bed again, but there was no chance of anything happening at this moment.
“I guess we missed out on that hotel room,” she told him.
He looked a little surprised at her words. That was good. She needed to keep him on his toes. At least he could never say their relationship was boring. If anything, it was more like a roller-coaster ride. A really scary roller coaster.
She looked around the room, filled with light and soft colors. “This is beautiful. I can see why he bought the property. It seems like a lot to take care of for a single man, though.”
“Yeah, I was surprised he bought it, but I’m glad, ’cause I don’t know yet what I’m doing, and I don’t mind sponging off him for a while,” he told her.
“It’s not sponging when you work as hard as you do and can afford to get your own place. It’s taking time to be with your family and figure out what your next move is,” she said.
“I’ll have to tell Crew that when he gripes at me,” Noah said with a chuckle.
“I love when you laugh,” she said. She felt closer to him now than ever before. Being sick should be scaring her all over again. She seemed to get hurt a lot around this man. But she was just so tired of pulling away from him.
“You make me smile and laugh more than any other person I’ve ever been around,” he said, his lips still turned up.
“Maybe I make you laugh at me,” she said with her own smile. She chuckled a bit, then stopped instantly when it caused an ache to rush down her spine. His smile fell away as she winced.
“The pills will kick in soon, and you’ll get more rest,” he assured her.
“Apparently that’s all my body seems to want to do,” she told him with frustration. She didn’t like to waste time by sleeping away entire days. There was so much life to live, and sleep took away from it all.
“Let’s make sure we get some food inside you before you fall asleep again. The water is staying fine, so some soup and bread will be perfect,” he told her as he shifted to climb from the bed.
She wanted to grab him and hold him to her. She didn’t want to let him go. What in the world was wrong with her? She wasn’t a clingy woman. She didn’t say anything as he rose.
“I don’t know how much I can eat. My stomach isn’t feeling all that strong,” she told him.
“Just give it a try. If it doesn’t feel right, we’ll do it again later,” he told her.
Sarah lay back and tried to get comfortable, but it wasn’t easy. The pills were kicking in and making her groggy, and she had her head turned to hear Noah. This clinginess had to be a response to her sickness, because if she turned into that girl who couldn’t function without the guy, she was going to ask her friends to beat some sense into her. Maybe love wasn’t as scary a notion as it had once been, but at the same time she needed to not have her world devastated if everything wasn’t perfect.
Leaning against her pillows, she was comforted by the sound of Noah moving around in the kitchen, which had to be just around the corner from the bedroom. This cottage wasn’t too big, which she liked. In the mood she was in, she wanted him nearby. She closed her eyes but opened them up again pretty quickly when she felt herself beginning to drift off. She needed to be awake for at least a little while.
It didn’t take long before Noah returned, and the smell of the food drifting up to her woke her appetite up with a vengeance. She was hungrier than she’d realized. But she was also afraid of taking any of it in. He set the tray on his lap, and she looked at it a little suspiciously.
“I’ll stay here with you. Just give it a try,” he told her as he handed her the spoon and looked down at the chicken noodle soup.
“I can tell you had a good mom,” she said with a smile.
His head tilted. “Why do you say that?”
“You’re a good caretaker.”
He smiled. “Yes. My mother was the best. Sometimes when I’m with you, I’m utterly heartbroken that she didn’t get the chance to meet you. I have no doubt she would’ve loved you as much as you would’ve loved her.” She was surprised when he slightly choked up. She was falling harder for him. Him showing her vulnerability made her want to pull him into her arms.
“I’m sorry you lost her. It hasn’t been that long,” she said.
She couldn’t look at him, as she feared she’d break into tears, so she looked down at the soup instead and dipped her spoon. She took a small bite and chewed the noodles slowly.
When she felt no nausea, she dipped in for another bite.
“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever gone through in my life. I can say with confidence it’s the same for my brothers. We didn’t have a father. He was a terrible man. But we had a mother that more than made up for it. I miss her every day, but some are worse than others because something happens, and I so want to call her or show up at her door and tell her about it. It’s rough,” he admitted.
“I didn’t have good parents. I didn’t have horrible parents, either. They were career driven, and they provided for me, but I was more of an incidental than a child. They’d give me gifts and tell me I was great when I brought home a good report card, but they weren’t that loving, hugging, kiss-me-every-night type of parents,” she said with a shrug as if she didn’t care.
It was good to talk with him, because she was taking bites of soup without thinking about it. She picked up the bread and nibbled on it while she continued staring at the tray.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. Now I understand why you don’t talk much about your family. I’m more blessed than I realize in the way I grew up. And I’ve lost my mother, but I’ve also gained an entire family who are just as wonderful as she was. I’m more than willing to share them with you.”
She had to stop the bite she’d been about to take as her throat tightened. Some people might take his words as nothing more than just something people said, but she’d learned enough about Noah in the past year to know he didn’t say what he didn’t mean. For him to offer her his family was a beautiful gift she didn’t know what to think about.
“Thank you for taking such good care of me,” she said, deciding not to comment on the family statement.
“I love taking care of you. I love being by your side. I find it’s where I’m happiest,” he told her.
“You weren’t at one time,” she said. She didn’t want to say it, but it popped out. His face fell.
“I screwed up. I thought I was worse in your life than out of it, and I ran. I won’t do it again.” Sincerity rang through his voice. Could she believe him?
The words made her heart skip a few beats. This downtime was making her so much more vulnerable than she’d ever allowed herself to be before. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she was also too tired to analyze it too much.
As if he felt the conversation was getting too intimate as well, he reached over and grabbed a slice of apple off her tray a
nd bit into it. She took another bite. The pause gave her a chance to catch her breath and get her heart to calm.
Noah continued helping her eat the food on her tray, and she finished the entire bowl of soup and half a piece of bread and about a third of a banana. Not too bad when she hadn’t eaten in over a day. She was feeling more than full. She set the spoon down, grateful her stomach wasn’t stirring.
“What kind of pills am I taking?” She was surprised she hadn’t asked before. She normally was so on top of everything pertaining to her life. That showed her how much she trusted this man.
He named something she didn’t recognize the sound of. “They are an antibiotic,” he added.
“Okay. I’m just so tired,” she said. “Is that normal?”
“You’re still healing, so it’s more than normal. Your body needs rest to get better. You shouldn’t fight it.”
“I’ve never been good at taking orders,” she said but softened the words with a smile. It was true that she wasn’t, but at the same time she was really loving how much he was taking care of her.
“Well, since you gave me another of the biggest scares in my life when you passed out in my arms, then maybe you’ll make an exception and listen to me a little,” he said.
He got up and picked up the tray. She sunk down in the bed as she let the food settle. Her eyes were so dang heavy. But she also felt sticky and gross. She wondered if she had the energy to take a shower. That seemed like total heaven right now.
“I’m sorry I freaked you out,” she told him. “I guess I’ve done that a lot in the time you’ve known me.”
“Yeah, you have,” he said. “But I have no regrets at all when it comes to you. I just wish I was able to protect you a little better.”
He walked from the room, and she waited for him to come back before she responded to his words.
“You know it’s not your job to take care of me,” she told him.
“Maybe it’s exactly what I want to do,” he said.
He climbed back in the bed, then lay down and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t even hesitate to curl up against his chest. She was so worn out, and it was exactly where she wanted to be.
Her eyes closed as she sighed in pleasure. The pillows were certainly much softer than his hard chest, but the smell of him and the security of being in his arms were pure heaven. She thought she could be happy to stay right there forever.
He rubbed on her back and ran his fingers through her hair, and she felt herself being pulled under fast. She desperately wanted a shower, but she wasn’t sure she was willing to move from this spot.
“Were you the family caretaker?” she sleepily asked.
He laughed. “No. Not at all. That was Finn and Crew’s job. Finn had to step up as the oldest when our father died. And Crew was always a natural protector. Hudson and Brandon were more of the class clowns. We all were completely different, but we have always loved each other immensely.”
“How would your brothers describe you?” she asked.
“Probably slightly uptight and a workaholic,” he admitted.
“Even now?”
He paused for a moment. “Maybe not. I’m finding more joy in life,” he told her. “At least since I’ve met you.”
She didn’t want to change him. She didn’t believe anyone should go into a relationship with the expectation of changing their partner. But she loved that she was making him smile, loved that she was helping him loosen up a little.
“You’ve made me take some pauses in life and smile a lot more,” she admitted.
“Good. Now if we could just keep you out of harm’s way, maybe we can smile a heck of a lot more.”
She chuckled, feeling so at ease and completely happy.
“We can’t prevent everything,” she told him. “You just can’t blame yourself for it. The wreck wasn’t your fault, and this wasn’t, either. But I do love very much that you care about how I’m feeling.”
He didn’t answer right away, and she felt herself being pulled closer and closer to sleep. She didn’t want to stop talking to him, not when they weren’t fighting and were actually communicating about something other than work, and she wasn’t trying to walk away from him. But she wasn’t going to last a heck of a lot longer.
He kissed the top of her head, and she felt incredibly peaceful. She waited, wanting to hear his voice. It was deep and sexy, and she could listen to him speak day and night.
“I can’t change how I think and feel, but I’ll try not to take the weight of the world on my shoulders. But don’t ask me not to care or to not take care of you,” he said.
She smiled against his chest.
“I wouldn’t dream of asking that,” she told him.
She felt his chuckle.
He kept rubbing her back, and this time as sleep began pulling her under, she stopped fighting it. She was right where she needed to be—in Noah’s arms, hearing the steady beat of his heart and feeling his hands caressing her body. It was better than any medicine she could’ve been given.
The word love was on the tip of her tongue, but luckily she drifted off into darkness before she could say something she might regret later. She needed to analyze how she was feeling before she spoke. And maybe she was mushy because she was sick, and he was being so sweet. And maybe she was falling in love. She wasn’t sure.
All she knew was she fell asleep smiling, feeling more content than she’d ever felt before.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Noah held on to Sarah for a long time, listening to her even breathing. He was slightly frightened at how unafraid he was. This was exactly where he knew he should be. With her in his arms, he felt he could keep her safe, felt as if he could conquer the world. She was his everything. He wasn’t sure when that had happened, but he was sure he didn’t want a life without her. He didn’t want a single day without this woman. He couldn’t imagine a lifetime of not seeing her.
And he couldn’t keep himself from smiling, because he felt she was finally letting her guard down. She needed him as much as he needed her. There was no doubt in his mind that she was going to keep on fighting this, but he was hoping the fight would dwindle as time went on. Because once he grabbed hold of something, he didn’t let it go. She was now his.
He drifted in and out of sleep as the sun began setting. He knew he should get some things done, but he couldn’t talk himself into doing just that. He was far too happy to be right where he was. She was warm and soft, and he was where he belonged.
When Noah next woke, it was so dark he couldn’t see anything in front of him. He’d always been a person to wake instantly. There was no hitting a snooze button or drifting in and out for a while. He was wide awake and instantly knew where he was. And the fact that Sarah was still in his arms made him smile. He could picture waking up this way every single day for the rest of his life.
She stirred against his chest and murmured something in her sleep as she clutched him a little more tightly. When her thigh rubbed against his, he had to clench his teeth together. Normally he’d flip her over and plunge deep inside her body. But since she was sick, that wasn’t happening. And he felt like a pig at even having the thought when she’d been so miserable for days.
When she’d gone down in his arms, he’d felt panic as bad as when she’d been in the car accident. He’d always been protective of his mother and younger siblings. And the fact that the woman he was in love with kept getting injured in his presence wasn’t helping his need to take care of her. He felt like less of a man because of it.
All he’d known when she went down was that he had to help her. He’d rushed her to the doctor, which had taken forever. And it hadn’t even been a real hospital, as they’d been in the middle of nowhere. But they’d helped her, then told him lots of rest and relaxation. He was determined for her to do just that.
For too many years Noah had thought of no one other than his family and himself. There had even been a period he’d been pretty selfish, thinking o
f only himself, not even his family. Thankfully he’d grown out of that stage quickly. But one thing for sure was he’d never felt a need to take care of a woman. He’d always made sure the women he’d been with were pleasured, but he’d never felt a need to comfort them, to hold their hands, to place his hand on their backs as they walked somewhere.
He’d always enjoyed the curves of women, the softness of their skin, how they took care of themselves, and he’d loved putting a smile on their faces, but one was interchangeable with another. That was long gone now that he’d met Sarah. Now he felt more of a need to take care of her over taking care of himself.
If that didn’t tell him he loved her, he wasn’t sure what would. He was afraid to say those words out loud, but each day he was with her, he became more secure in his feelings and his mood. He wanted to be with her, and therefore he knew it was going to happen.
The reality was he’d been lost for a very, very long time. He was beginning to realize that he’d been searching for this one woman all of his life without realizing he’d been on a journey. That was a humbling thought.
She moved again, this time shifting her entire body. Her arm slipped down, and her fingers brushed over his painful arousal. No matter how much he told himself sex wasn’t an option, wasn’t going to happen, couldn’t happen, his body wasn’t listening.
He let out a groan as her fingers tightened for a second before relaxing. She snuggled in closer, and he wondered how much a man could take before having a heart attack. He tried scooting away. There was a thin line between pleasure and pain.
“No!” she grumbled as she followed him.
“Are you awake?” he whispered.
She didn’t say anything as she tightened her hold on him. Her breathing evened out again as she relaxed. Was she talking in her sleep? He couldn’t help but smile even while being in pain. She wanted him even in sleep. He was feeling pretty on top of the world.
He did need to get up, though. So he shifted again. This time she moaned. He kept moving, feeling pretty bad about it as she reached for him.
