by Anne, Melody
It didn’t take them long to arrive back at the plane, and she loaded her bag while he did his preflight checklist and made sure everything was safe. She was normally excited to get up in the air, but today she was wondering if this was the last time she’d be this intimate with him. Even though it felt like a goodbye, she vowed to enjoy her last moments of being that close with him.
She wondered if it was better to know if something was ending or not. There was a bittersweetness to it, but then a person had a chance to say goodbye, even if it was silent. Maybe that was better than not knowing.
They were up in the air before Noah spoke again. The sky was clear, with no turbulence. It was looking to be a pretty uneventful ride, at least physically.
“I think we have everything we need,” he said. His voice sounded void of emotion. She didn’t like it.
“Yeah, I have a feeling this is the last of our treasure hunting,” she said, forcing a laugh she didn’t feel. She didn’t want him to know how sad she was. She didn’t want him sticking around if he didn’t want to be there.
“I’ve really enjoyed our adventures together, Sarah,” he said. He reached over and squeezed her leg before removing his hand. There was such finality in his voice. She couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please tell me whatever it is you need to say.”
He was silent for long enough that she thought he wasn’t going to answer. The tears she’d been fighting for hours were so close she prayed they wouldn’t fall. She could hold them back until she was alone. She refused to be one of those people who begged another to love them.
When he did finally speak, she heard the regret in his tone. “I got a call about five minutes after I left the cabin this morning.”
“From the tone of your voice, I’m guessing this wasn’t a good call,” she said, trying to make her voice sound normal. She could hear the tears but hoped he couldn’t.
“It’s about a previous job,” he said with a frustrated sigh.
Now she was really confused. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t say anything, just waited for him to keep talking.
“I’ll be gone for at least three months,” he finally said.
That was when her heart sank. He was leaving her. He was telling her, without saying the words, that their time had come to an end. By the time he came back, too much time would’ve passed, when they were finally getting to a point they could actually begin to look at their time together as a real relationship. It was too soon for them to be apart for three months. They were too fragile at this point to be separated that long.
She’d tried believing this whole time this was no more than a fling, but somewhere along the way she’d fallen for this man. She hadn’t wanted to, but he’d slipped in. Now she wasn’t sure what to say to his words. She didn’t want him to know how upset she was. She wished he’d waited to tell her this, even though she’d pushed to hear it. But now she was trapped in the plane with him with nowhere to go. She wasn’t sure how much longer the flight was supposed to last, but at this moment if there was a parachute, she’d be willing to jump.
“I’m sure you’re excited to go on a new adventure,” she said. Her voice was so fake she could barely stand it.
“I normally would be,” he told her with another sigh.
“What’s keeping you from being excited?” she asked. She was trying to keep it together, trying to keep the conversation going.
“I find I don’t want to leave you,” he told her.
That made her heart skip a beat, though she told herself not to go there. He was conflicted. That didn’t sound like a man in love; it sounded like a man who didn’t know what he wanted.
“And if you leave, that’s the end of whatever this is,” she said. It wasn’t a threat; it was a statement. It just seemed logical. They were too fragile to handle the separation maturely.
He sighed. For a man who never seemed to be at a loss for words, he was sure having difficulties finding them now. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if he vowed undying love for her right now. From his tone, that wasn’t going to happen, though.
“Honestly, part of me wants to ask you to wait for me.” He stopped, and she didn’t interrupt. “And the other part knows that’s unfair. I’ve already put you through enough without asking you to wait to find out if we have a future together.” She was glad to hear regret in his tone, but it wasn’t enough to make her ask him to stay or to tell him she’d wait. It seemed that it just was never enough with the two of them. He’d give her a little, and then he’d run a lot. That wasn’t a healthy sign of a lasting romance.
“Look, Noah, I’m not going to lie and tell you there’s nothing between us, but if you want to go, that should be your answer. I’m not going to regret what we’ve shared, but if it was meant to be, there’d be zero hesitation on your part. The fact that you’re torn tells us both you need to go.”
This time she reached over and squeezed his leg. She wanted to let him know she wasn’t angry or upset. She was being realistic. It appeared their time had come and gone. Neither of them was to blame for it. At the end of the day, it just wasn’t meant to be.
She felt them begin to descend, and she’d never been more grateful in her life. She wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to hold on to her barely there control. In a small way she wanted to draw out their last moment together, but the realist in her knew this needed to end quickly. The Band-Aid had to come off. He was silent as he navigated the plane into the airport that would pull them away from each other for good.
She knew she’d see him again. They’d be at the grand opening for the center at the same time, and he was an Anderson, and his brother was married to one of her best friends. They’d never be completely free of each other, but hopefully the next time they came together, she’d be in a much better place.
He landed smoothly and taxied to the hangar. There were no more words that needed to be spoken. There were a million things she could say, but at the same time she wouldn’t change their last night together or even their last week. It had been magical and perfect, and she’d dream about it for a very long time to come. She couldn’t even imagine anyone coming close to Noah Anderson in her eyes. He might’ve ruined all future relationships for her.
They parked the plane, and he turned and looked at her. Sadness filled her because she knew this was their goodbye. She needed it to be quick. Before she could stop them, a few tears slipped.
“Sarah . . . ,” he said, but he stopped when she held a hand up and covered his lips.
“It’s okay, Noah. It really is,” she said. More tears fell.
“I’m sorry,” he said. She was in so much pain, and there was no stopping it now that she’d let it in. She had to get away as soon as possible. But she needed to say goodbye. The next time they met, it would be as nothing more than acquaintances. She hoped she had plenty of time to prepare for that.
He reached over and kissed her. There was no doubt in her mind it was a goodbye kiss. It broke her heart into a million pieces, but she reached up and laid her hand over his heart for one last moment as she kissed him back. She was in love with this man, and she didn’t regret a thing, even while losing him.
But it had to end, so she pulled back. She cupped his cheek and looked in his eyes. “Thank you, Noah. This has been wonderful,” she said. She ran her thumb across his bottom lip; then she unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door and slipped from the plane. She had to look back at him one last time. “Goodbye, Noah.”
At those words, she turned and walked away. She had to force herself not to turn around again, and she kept her composure until she’d circled the building. She was going to fall apart, but she had to get home first. She concentrated on taking one breath in and one breath out.
She’d just said goodbye to the love of her life. She could see now why people were so afraid to fall in love. When it ended, you truly lost a piece of your soul. Maybe in the end it wasn’t worth it. She might not ever know. Be
cause there was no way she’d ever make herself vulnerable enough to find out if there could be a happily ever after.
If he truly loved her, he wouldn’t leave her, and he wouldn’t let her walk away. The fact that he was allowing both things to happen told her his love was only fleeting. Maybe she’d been testing him without realizing she was. Maybe she just wasn’t strong enough. She couldn’t answer anything right now. She could barely move forward.
It wouldn’t last. She’d been through hell before, and she’d climbed her way out. She’d do it again this time. But for tonight she was going to cry, and she was going to mourn her loss. And that was okay, too. Sometimes a strong person needed to fall, just so they had the opportunity to lift themselves up again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Noah was a fool. He was a complete and utter moron. He’d watched Sarah walk away, knowing how much pain she was in, and then he’d gone in the opposite direction of her. He could tell himself all day long that was work, and that was what had to be done, but he was still a fool. Each one of his brothers had no problem repeatedly telling him that same thing.
Still he’d left.
And he’d lasted less than a month.
He’d been miserable—utterly, hopelessly miserable. The need to travel the world and create works of art had forever been ruined for him. He didn’t want to do it anymore unless Sarah was at his side. He might’ve screwed that up so badly, though, that he’d never get the chance. Or maybe he’d damned them both to an eternity of misery. He wasn’t sure.
He pulled his truck down the road and drove toward the local bar he’d asked his brothers to meet him at. They’d agreed, telling him it was about time he’d gotten his ass back to town. He was wondering if tough love was what he wanted to deal with right now. In the mood he was in, it might not be such a great idea. But he’d missed his siblings almost as much as he’d missed Sarah. He’d grown far too domesticated in his time creating the veterans center.
And he didn’t care. He was no longer afraid of settling down. He just prayed he could convince Sarah he’d never break her heart again. He’d done it one too many times. But hopefully she’d remember the good more than she remembered the heartbreak. He needed his siblings’ advice before he went to her, though.
It was a Friday afternoon, and the bar was surprisingly crowded for that time of day. Maybe everyone had decided to take an early weekend. Maybe it was filled with foolish idiots like him. He wasn’t sure.
He walked inside and found his brothers in the back, with Finn sitting there hoarding a large basket of food. Noah plopped down next to him and grabbed some of his brother’s fries. There was nothing like comfort food when you were feeling like the scum of the earth.
“I’ll get more food. It looks like Noah’s in a mood. I guess the lecture we all planned on giving him isn’t necessary,” Hudson said with a chuckle.
“Lecture?” Noah said as he downed some more fries.
“Yeah, the one that tells you what an idiot you are,” Hudson said before he stood. “But you obviously already know that.”
Noah glared at his brother, but he couldn’t argue with the man. He was a complete moron. “Get some cheese sticks,” he called out.
The waitress came right then with a bucket full of beers, and Noah gave her a thankful smile as he grabbed one and popped the top off.
“With service like this, I see why it’s our favorite bar,” Noah said. He took a large sip, then let out a sigh. This right here was what he’d needed for the past month. Well, this and one feisty brunette in his arms. He hoped he’d get both.
“Crew, make sure to order extra. When your brother is a fool, it calls for a lot of beer and bar food,” Finn said with a laugh.
“You love being the secure married one, don’t you?” Noah said with a glare.
“I sure as hell do. It wasn’t long ago that I looked just as miserable as you do now. I didn’t always make the smartest decisions when I was chasing Brooke,” Finn said with a shrug. “But luckily I wised up and won her love.”
“We’ll never know how that happened,” Crew said with a roll of his eyes. “She’s far too good for you.”
“Don’t tell her that. I don’t think she’s figured it out,” Finn said, then downed the rest of his bottle of beer and grabbed a new one.
“Yeah, love does tend to blind us all,” Crew said.
“Are you in love?” Noah asked his brother.
Crew shook his head. “I don’t need to be in love to know that. I see it every day in my line of work.”
“You see the bad of love. You don’t often see the good,” Finn pointed out.
“All love has its ups and downs. But I’m starting to see past the fronts so many people put on,” Crew said.
“You all annoy me. Love is for weaklings,” Brandon said as he leaned back in his chair. Noah had the urge to kick the legs and see his little brother fall on his ass. As if Brandon could tell what he was thinking, all four legs hit the floor, and he glared at him. It was too bad. He should’ve been quicker.
“I called you guys here for a reason,” Noah said as he reached into his coat.
There was total silence when he pulled out a black box. There was no doubt at all what was inside the velvet case. A man didn’t have that expression while holding the small square thing without it having meaning behind it.
Noah didn’t say anything. He just waited to hear what would come from his brothers’ mouths. He had no doubt he was making the right decision. He just wasn’t sure if she’d take him back. They hadn’t spoken since he’d left. He’d kept track of her, though, and knew she was sad. It broke his heart.
“You screwed up pretty badly. If you want her to take that, you’re going to have to do some serious groveling,” Finn said after a stunned minute of silence.
“Yeah, she’s been sort of a mess since you left town,” Brandon confirmed.
“Brooke and Chloe might’ve even hired a hit man to shoot your sorry ass,” Hudson told him.
Noah looked to Crew and waited for his remark. Crew smiled.
“I think you’ll get the girl,” Crew said, shocking them all.
“What in the world has happened to you?” Brandon asked. “I don’t know if you’re really Crew, or if aliens have taken over your body.”
“People change,” Crew said with a shrug.
“So what exactly are you going to do?” Finn asked. “It can’t be lame.”
“I’ve never done a lame thing in my life,” Noah said, offended by the thought that he was capable of that.
“Well, then maybe you should stop hanging out with us and go get the girl,” Crew said.
His other brothers smiled at that statement. “I’m actually scared,” he admitted.
“That’s because you have something to lose,” Finn told him. “But she does love you, so don’t give up, even if you have to grovel. It will be well worth it.”
“I never thought I’d agree with that statement, but I do,” Noah said.
“I can come and videotape it for you,” Brandon offered.
Noah stood. “No, thank you. I don’t want an audience for this,” he said with a laugh. He felt lighter than he had in a while. He was glad he’d come to see his brothers before posing the most important question of his life to the woman he refused to live a single moment without from here until eternity.
He left the bar, his brothers calling out their final pieces of advice as he walked from the crowded joint. It was most definitely time to get the girl. He was more than ready—had been ready from the first time he’d laid eyes on her. It had just taken him far too long to realize that. At least he’d never be a fool again.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Though Sarah had told herself she wasn’t going to be one of those women who cried for weeks or months over a man, she’d failed miserably. From the moment she’d walked away from that plane nearly a month ago, she’d been utterly miserable. She thought about him day and night. There were so many times she’d
picked up her phone wanting to call him, wanting to hear the sound of his voice.
But he’d left her . . . again. They’d parted on a good note, and she wanted it to remain that way. That didn’t take away her pain, but at least it kept her pride intact. The project was over. She stood alone, gazing out at the veterans center property. It was beautiful. The first building was almost complete, and there were markers where everything else was going to be built. They’d soon have an opening ceremony, and Hudson would be busy constructing all the other buildings while the rest of the Andersons did their jobs as well.
It had all come together, and she’d been a valuable part of that. Her name would go down in history as the coarchitect on this project, and she’d never have trouble finding work again. But for now she couldn’t even think of working. She’d been paid well for this project, and that gave her a month or two to figure out what would come next. But she was having a very hard time letting go of this one. Once she did, she’d have to fully let go of Noah, too. That was much easier said than done.
She had found herself at this site far too often. Maybe it was because she’d spent time with Noah there, and maybe it was because it was so peaceful. She wasn’t sure why she kept coming back. Besides modifications that would have to be done once in a while, her part of the project was over. It was time to let it go. But so far she hadn’t been able to do that.
She sat on the steps of the main lodge, facing west. It was her favorite place to watch a sunset. It brought peace to her heart when nothing else seemed to do that. She heard tires moving up the gravel road and thought about hiding. She wasn’t in the mood to visit anyone. But since her car was the only vehicle out there besides the one heading her way, it would be more than obvious she was hiding if she tried to get away at this point.
