“Hey! Back off! It’s not like you’re doing any better finding a date.”
She hit me in the shoulder with a closed fist, pretty solid. Anita was literally mad enough to fight. She growled in my face, “Duh, Captain Obvious! So why don’t you stop being such an asshole and ask me to homecoming? You think I have a gang of men slobbering over me, standing in line waiting to ask?”
“OH …”
The dim light of truth started to flicker in my mind. The realization that Anita had been silently waiting for me to ask her finally oozed past the heavily mortared layers of denial. Her big brown eyes were wet with the tears streaming down her face. Rafe stared at us frowning, intently watching his sister blow up in my face.
“So what? Do my tits need to grow another cup size before you get it through that thick head of yours?” She grabbed her breasts and pushed up, giving them the appearance of growing larger as they strained against the fabric of her shirt and bra.
“Shit, Anita, I’m such an ass. Of course I’ll take you! Why didn’t you say something earlier? You’re my best friend. You know I’d do anything for you. I didn’t think you wanted to go!”
She wiped the tears from her eyes, smearing eye shadow everywhere, “What does it take for you to see me as a girl, as a woman?” She choked on the words as she cried.
“I don’t know, I didn’t know. Everything’s different with you. You’re like one of the guys. It’s weird to think of you like a girl. I mean, I’ve told you things you only say to other guys. You know what I’m saying?”
“Do you think any of that matters? Even dumbass Justin figured it out. Whenever your back was turned he had his hands all over me, kissing me, reaching up my shirt! Why can’t you see me that way?”
“That asshole. I didn’t know, Anita. I guess I am an idiot. Can you forgive me?”
“You think it’s that easy? You think I’d go with you just because no one else asked? I’m not going anywhere with you! Take me home. I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” More tears streamed down her makeup-streaked face and I felt like a huge dung heap. Rafe was shaking his head.
I dropped Anita at home, a two-story four bedroom on Hill Avenue, aptly named because the street flowed east and west across the hills of Moses Lake. I couldn’t think of anything to say beyond, “Sorry.” Anita didn’t say another word. She stomped off leaving me standing in her driveway, confused and irritated. The emotional climate between us had turned into a wicked storm as we sailed into unchartered territory.
I considered returning to the amphitheater to catch a few more rail slides, but Rafe pulled in behind me on his Ninja, skateboard strapped to the rear cargo rack. He threw down his kickstand and blocked my exit. I didn’t know what to expect, but I stepped out of my car and faced Rafe.
He eyed me closely for a second then began his speech. “I’ve been watching you two for a while, and I promised not to get involved. Well, actually, Anita made me swear to keep my mouth shut or she’d kill me. But I can’t keep watching this mess. She’s my baby sister, I love her, but she’s got a problem. Have you figured it out yet?”
‘Uncomfortable’ was my word for the day. Definitely my day for awkward moments. I answered cautiously, “I think so.”
Rafe kept eyeing me and shook his head. “I don’t think you get it. Did you really think a chick is your best friend for no reason? Come on man, you can’t be that slow! Anita’s had it bad for you since day one. She never stops talking about you.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding, ran my hands through my hair, and finally admitted, “I don’t know. Maybe I did suspect something. But she’s my best friend. If we start … whatever … I just don’t want to lose my best friend. And she never said anything until now. How was I supposed to know?”
“I’ll give it to you straight ‘cause we’re friends. I like you, Mike. And I don’t think you’re lying. The truth is everyone but you knows she’s got a thing for you. Hell, alotta guys think you two are going together. It’s so obvious. You’re together all the time, every day. You text like twenty times a day.”
“I know, I know. I never thought about it that way! I know that sounds dumb, but it’s the truth.”
“It’s time you start. Anita likes you – a lot. I know she ain’t exactly Jennifer Lopez, and she knows it too. She’s real insecure. You hear what I’m sayin’?”
I nodded, keeping my mouth shut, eating crow.
“She’s all tied up in knots over you, and your stupid ass don’t even know it. What I’m saying is, if you don’t like her that way, then tell her now, before it gets any worse. She’ll be hurt, but I prefer you be honest with her now. The longer it goes on the more it’ll hurt. We’re bros and all, but blood’s thicker than water. I gotta stand by my sister on this one. You understand?”
“Yeah.” I nodded again.
Rafe stepped up closer, getting in my face. “You need to come straight with her. Take care of my little sister. She’s a real good person, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit by her best friend.”
I didn’t back down, even though Rafe was a little taller, older, and probably stronger. “I get it. I’m not gonna treat her that way. She’s my best friend. I’ll talk to her tomorrow, after she’s had a chance to calm down. Okay? Are we straight?” I held my ground, waiting for Rafe to do his worst.
We eyed each other for a moment, then Rafe made his decision. “Yeah, we’re straight. You just make sure you do the right thing.” We bumped fists, breaking the tension. He moved his bike out the way and waved his arm indicating I could leave.
After all that, I didn’t feel up to skating anymore, so I headed home to sulk. Good thing I could always count on Dad to ignore me. He acknowledged my entry into the house with a grunt.
Sitting in my room, my mind raced back and forth about Anita. I didn’t know what to think, what to do. Did I really want to date her? What would it be like to kiss her? What would it do to our friendship? Would everything change? I felt like I could talk to her about virtually anything. She made me laugh like no one else. She knew me better than anyone, probably even better than my own father.
I went in endless circles, trying to understand why Anita never said any of this before. Why did she wait so long? Why did she lead me to believe we were just friends? None of it made sense. I couldn’t help but feel cheated, like I was missing something vital. How could I begin to understand what goes on in a girl’s mind when I don’t even have a mother?
Whenever I went down that road I came to the same burning questions over and over again. Why did my mother do it? Why did she go through with my birth when she knew what would happen?
Richard never liked to talk about it, but I felt like now more than ever I needed to know. In my frustration, I snatched up the photo of my mother off the dresser and stomped out to the living room. Richard sat on the couch, three beers deep. The stack of empties on the floor measured his progress.
“Why did she do it?” I stood there with my mother’s picture held out in accusation. Richard tried to ignore me, but I stood my ground, picture in hand, and waited him out.
Richard finally answered, “I told you why. She said she wasn’t willing to give you up.” His face pinched up in a grimace as he spoke. Sixteen years later and it was still a sore spot.
“Yeah I know that, but why? I don’t understand why she’d do it when she knew! She knew it would kill her! Didn’t she tell you she saw it in one of her visions? She knew exactly what would happen!”
“I don’t have answers for you.” Richard looked me right in the eyes. “I told her to get an abortion, but she wouldn’t listen.”
This was why we never spoke of it. No one wanted to tear the scabs off the old wounds. I didn’t want to be reminded about the circumstances of my birth any more than my father did. The inconvenient truth was that my entry into this world had killed my mother, and my father didn’t seem to be able to forgive me for it. There was our fat-nasty problem, and we avoided it constantl
y.
“That’s not helping me at all. You said she knew she was gonna die. I just don’t understand why she did it.” I felt like putting my fist through the panel walls in this rotten old trailer. “And I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For being born.”
“Mike, wait. That’s not …” I walked away, slipping in my iPod earbuds. I cranked up The White Stripes.
Richard stood at my bedroom door saying something. I ignored him.
Weezer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Prodigy, these were the only things I wanted to hear. Richard finally let me be and closed my bedroom door. I dozed off in bed as the iPod worked its way through my playlist.
I awoke to cool air on my skin and a feather soft kiss brushing my lips. I opened my eyes to Nadia’s cat-like gaze as she leaned over me, an inch from my face, staring with her freaky intensity. She had slipped in through the bedroom window I left unlocked.
“Holy shit! You scared the hell out of me!” My heart jumped up through my throat for a couple seconds. She grinned and flopped down on the bed next to me, propped up on one elbow, smiling.
“You don’t need to fear me, I’ll never harm you. I promise.”
“Yeah sure, you’re only gonna stalk me till the day I die, right?” She nodded shamelessly.
I’d been waiting for her to show up for days. She had disappeared for another week. It drove me nuts not knowing where to find her. I missed her. She brightened my dull existence with her strangeness. I felt an indefinable attraction to her. It wasn’t a boy-girl butterflies-in-the-stomach kinda thing. It was more a fascination, and a sense that we needed each other, in different ways and for different reasons, but it was the same. We needed one another.
My curiosity was piqued. She’d never slipped into my window like that before. “How’d you get all the way out here? It’s quite a walk.”
“I grabbed a ride. I can hitchhike anywhere. It’s easy catching rides. I don’t even have to put my thumb out most of the time.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Haven’t you heard of predators that hunt teenage girls out alone at night?”
“That’s so sweet! You’re worried about me!” She beamed. “How do you know it’s not the other way around? What if I’m the predator hunting for some unsuspecting sap to pick me up on the highway?”
“Well then I would say heaven help the poor man. Maybe you’ll stalk him for a while and give me a break.”
She giggled and pushed me. “You! Are you trying to get rid of me?”
I pecked her on the forehead with a tiny kiss. “No seriously, you’re welcome here anytime, I’ve gotten used to being stalked. It’s cute, in a freakish, creepy kinda way. I give you permission to stalk all you want, mi casa es su casa.”
“That’s good, ‘cause you’re not gonna be rid of me that easily. You’re stuck with me Misha. Better get used to it!” She gave me that intense stare again.
After a moment of serious staring, I chuckled. “I’m an American. Your Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me, only money. By the way, where are you getting all this money you keep leaving behind?”
“You said it. I’ve got Jedi mind tricks. The force is strong with this one. Weak minded people always give me what I want. I always get my way.” She maintained her serious demeanor. Her words were ridiculous, but she didn’t smile once.
“You are so odd. Has anyone ever told you that?” She shrugged, finally giving me the smile I’d been waiting for. Her good cheer was infectious. Impossible to sulk and wallow in self-pity when she smiled like that. “So what’s this Misha business? Is that some foreign curse word?”
She giggled, an enchanting little laugh. The only things missing were the wings and a sparkle of pixie dust. She had that Tinkerbell mischievous quality.
“No silly! It’s a nickname for Mikhail, Like Mike for Michael, it’s Russian.”
“You keep calling me this Mikhail-Misha, what’s up with that?”
“Like I said, you remind me of a boy I once knew. He was a special friend … kinda like you are.” She had a wistful, sad look.
“So what happened to him?”
She frowned. “He’s gone.” She shrugged then smiled. “But it’s okay. Now I have you.” She patted my chest. “Well, anyway, it’s late. You need your beauty sleep.” She pecked me on the nose and turned out the light to lie down at my side.
“Hey, you don’t get to just slip in here and crash without answers. I want to know where you go on the nights you’re not here.”
She slid over me, arms and legs hugging me, her face in my face. “I’ve been trying to stay away, but it’s too difficult. I can’t do it anymore. You’re stuck with me now. It’s late, get some sleep.”
I wasn’t hosed that easily. I knew she had avoided the question, and her answer created more questions, but I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I fell right to sleep, her slight weight on my chest. No answers to be had this night.
And of course, I dreamed the sensual Nadia dreams like always. Those dreams were … awesome. It was the main reason I liked having her there throughout the night.
And then in the morning she was gone again.
* * * *
Chapter 9
Thursday, October 7th
“Hey Anita! Wait up!”
She’d been ignoring me for two days. I ran after her as she headed out to the school parking lot. She didn’t even look at me. So much for keeping my best friend.
When I caught up to her I recognized her friend Cleo, a dreadlocked girl from the skatepark crowd. They were headed to Cleo’s Volkswagen bug. Anita would latch onto the weirdest skate chick she could find (one of the only). I wondered what Anita was up to.
Cleo had a reputation as a major stoner. She smoked weed constantly. Not that it really mattered to me. But Anita hated the stench of cigarettes.
“Hey wait a minute, damnit!” I grabbed her arm.
She turned on me with an angry squint. I Thought she might hit me.
“What? What do you want from me?”
“I’ve been trying to talk to you all week. You’re avoiding me.”
“Well, aren’t you a genius.”
“Come on, I’ll give you a ride.” I pulled on her arm, taking her in the direction of my car.
“No! I’m going with Cleo!” Anita dug in to resist.
“If you want to sit around and get high that’s your business, but we need to talk. I’m not playing your game anymore. You’re coming with me, now!”
She had never made me feel like this before, so adamant, so angry. I hated this game. I just needed to talk to her, and she wouldn’t even give me a minute.
Cleo stood impatient with her passenger door open. “I’m not waiting all day.”
I just snapped. “Unless you two are going to homecoming together, she’s leaving with me right now!”
Anita’s face darkened with that barely discernible color change of a Mexican blush.
“Can you do this drama somewhere else?” Cleo blew a kiss to Anita. “I like you girl, but not that much. Sorry, I’m not into the pink, and I already have a date to homecoming. So it looks like you’re stuck with him.” She shut the door to her car, and left Anita behind.
“Sorry! I’ll text you later … Okay?” Anita apologized as I continued dragging her in my direction. Cleo blew her another kiss and flicked her tongue provocatively.
I hauled Anita to my car, flung open the passenger door and pushed her inside. She was smirking the whole way. Like this was all a big game to her.
I will never understand girls.
She rolled her eyes while I leaned over and clicked her seat belt in place.
“Mike, I don’t need your help ...” Her words trailed off when my hand brushed up along her thigh and across the swell of her generous breast – accidentally.
I didn’t really care about her seat belt, and I didn’t want to move from the passenger side now that I had her secured in my car.
A frui
ty, girly smell wafted in my face. My car was too small, and I was virtually on top of her. I wanted more of that scent, and I just couldn’t help but dip my nose in her hair to get another whiff.
Then I realized what I was doing. She smiled, with a strange look. Why would she be smiling? Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. Glossy, soft, lips.
And then I knew.
I wanted to kiss her, and I think she wanted me to. All that wonderful girl smell rolled off her as we stared at each other nose to nose, an inch apart.
I wasn’t sure what came over me, suddenly I felt extremely possessive, like she belonged to me. And if she was mine, then I should kiss her.
So I did.
Her lips parted for me, warm and wet, pliable, with the sweet taste of fruity bubblegum. Her tongue flickered, dueling with mine, a wet tussle for territory. She let me win, and then her tongue surged forward into my mouth, taking it all back. She made these sweet little moaning sounds, and my pants grew really tight. Instaboner.
I needed more of her, her mouth, her golden, smooth curves, and she pulled me right down onto her. There was just so much to experience. Her wonderful little tongue game, and those big warm, inviting breasts, I couldn’t even get my hands around them they were so large.
Her mouth demanded more, pressing hard, and her tongue moved frantically. Her hands around my neck, she entrapped me in a wild explosion of pent up girl frustrations. It was like she couldn’t get enough of me.
And I couldn’t get enough of her.
Her hands attacked me, my shoulders, back, my ass (gulp), squeezing, stroking, sliding, massaging, pulling. I had kissed a couple girls before, even Rachelle, but never like this.
Nothing compared to this. Nothing could have prepared me for Anita.
I couldn’t taste enough of her lips and tongue and teeth, and her hands drove me wild with a need I’d never known. I swore I could have torn her clothes off. And then she started tearing off mine.
My whole body throbbed for her. My clothes were hot and stifling. I needed to feel her hands on my skin.
The Shadow Box: Paranormal Suspense and Dark Fantasy Thriller Novels Page 66
