by Lynsay Sands
Chapter Sixteen
Cale opened his eyes and peered at the ceiling overhead, waiting for the pain to return and consume him as it had every other time he'd woken in this room during the last several hours. Nothing happened. The pain was gone. He was briefly relieved, but then thought he'd better be sure before getting too excited. He tried moving various limbs and digits to test for pain, but froze and glanced to the side as a rustling reached his ears.
"You're awake. " Alex sat forward in the chair beside the bed.
He took in her tentative smile with surprise, and then scrambled to sit up, forgetting all about his concern that the pain might return. "You're here. "
"Yes. " She hesitated and then asked, "Do you want me to leave? I'll understand if you're upset with me for leaving you-"
Cale caught her hand when she stood up. "No. Stay. "
He held on to her until she sat back down, and then patted her hand, and assured her, "I am not angry about that. It must have been terrifying for you when you saw my fangs. I handled the whole thing badly. I should have sent you away before-"
"You'd just been in a terrible accident, Cale," she interrupted. "You were hardly thinking straight. I should have at least stuck around long enough to be sure you were all right and allow you to explain. "
"I take it someone else has explained while I was recovering? " he asked.
Alex nodded. "Marguerite. "
Cale sent a silent thank-you to the woman. It was a relief not to have Alex looking at him as if he were a monster anymore. He suspected it would be a long time before he forgot the horror that had blanched her face when he'd allowed his fangs to slide out and torn into the bag of blood. It was one of the very few times in his life he'd felt like the fiend his kind were proclaimed to be.
He glanced back to her now to see that she was peering down at her hands, twisting them nervously in her lap. The sight made him frown. While Marguerite had explained what they were, and she appeared to accept it, there was obviously something still troubling her.
"What is it?" he asked quietly.
Alex licked her lips and then blurted, "Marguerite says you love me. "
"Yes, I believe I do," he admitted. While it had been little more than a week, how long did it really take toknow you loved someone? He suspected sometimes it was slow, growing like a sweet-smelling flower that buds and blossoms, but other times it could be fast. Besides, thanks to the nanos, immortals had a head start in the matter. They knew with a certainty that if the person was a life mate, they were the right one and were able to enjoy the person without all the questions about whether they would suit and so on. And that was what Cale had done this last week, enjoyed her independence, her determination, her ambition, her creativity, her sense of adventure. She was a spectacular woman and would suit him perfectly in some ways and complement him in others. While he was organized, she was a chaotic, creative thinker. They would balance each other out and teach each other things at the same time.
"She said that I love you too," Alex said quietly, and still wasn't looking up from her hands.
"Is she right?" he asked, and then held his breath, praying for the answer he wanted.
"Yes . . . no . . . " She grimaced, and then finally met his gaze. "I was pretty shook up when I saw your fangs. My immediate thought was that it just figured I'd go and fall for a monster, and the only thing I could think at that point was that you wanted me for a blood donor and sex toy. "
"No, Alex, I-" Cale began, but she continued.
"Marguerite said I was using that as an excuse not to get involved and risk being hurt, and she was right. I've done a lot of thinking while you were recovering and, basically I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty messed up," she admitted with a dry laugh.
Cale frowned with concern. "You seem pretty together to me. "
"Oh. " She waved that away. "Sure, I seem together, but . . . " She sighed, and said, "You remember I told you that we moved every year until I was ten, and that made it hard to make and keep friends? "
He nodded.
"Well, the thing is, I did make friends, but then we'd move, I'd make a new friend, and then we'd move again. That happened over and over so that when Gramps came to stay with us, it was just easier to be with him, for him to be my best friend and confidant. Then he died and left me too. " She made a face. "It started to feel like maybe I wasn't supposed to have anyone. They all either died or left me. "
"I see," Cale murmured, and he did understand how it must have seemed to a child. "You didn't have friends in high school? "
She shook her head. "By that time I'd hit the awkward teenage years and was shy . . . and it didn't help that, as the oldest, I had to look after Jo and Sam after Gramps died. It meant I could never accept invitations to do things after school or on weekends. I was pretty lonely. " She grimaced, and added, "But then I went away to culinary school, and it was like the whole world opened up for me. I was in a foreign country, met lots of new and interesting people, made friends and . . . "
"And?" he prompted.
"And there was Jack. " She grimaced. "I met him thefirst week of school. He was from Canada too, a little town in southern Ontario. He spoke French and he was handsome, and funny, and charming, and he liked me. That whole first year I was in heaven. Everything was wonderful. Jack and I were always together and even had a lot of classes together. He said he loved me. "
Cale felt his mouth tighten. Part of it was jealousy though he had no right to it, the other part was because there had been a plaintive sound to the words, a hint of very old, very deep pain that made him want to hunt down this Jack guy and break his neck for causing it.
"Then the final project came around," she continued. "We were supposed to show our personal creativity by coming up with our own recipe, something new and different. Thanks to Gramps, that was a breeze for me. He'd always encouraged me to experiment. I was used to it and quickly decided what I would do and experimented with it in my apartment ahead of time to get it perfect. I made Jack my taste tester. Big mistake it seems," she said dryly. "The day after the class when I had to create the dish, I was called in to school. It seems my recipe was an exact replica of another student's who had presented the same thing earlier in the day. "
"Jack. "
Alex nodded solemnly. "I said there must be some mistake, that Jack would never steal my recipe, and they began to ask me how I had come up with the recipe and why I had added this or that. " She smiled wryly. "Somehow I ended up on the topic of Gramps and told them how he'd gotten me into cooking andexperimenting with recipes and so on. Then they asked me to wait in the outer office. When I walked out, Jack was just arriving, and they took him in at once. "
Her mouth tightened. "I still thought it must be some kind of mistake. After all, Jack loved me. But the office door was very thin, and I heard every word said. He accused me of stealing the recipes from him. That floored me, and I hardly noticed that he couldn't answer the questions on how he'd come up with the recipe or why he'd added this or that. When they called me in to join them, I was terrified that they believed I really had stolen it. "
"Of course they didn't," Cale said staunchly.
"No, they didn't," she agreed. "They said it was obvious Jack had stolen it. That he was a mediocre cook at best while I had shown the makings of a first-class chef from the start. He was tossed out of school in disgrace, and they apologized for having put me through their questions and sent us on our way. "
"How did Jack take that?" Cale asked, suspecting he knew the answer.
"Oh, he wasn't pleased at all," she said with a grimace. "I waited until we were outside, and then asked why he'd done what he had when he'd said he loved me. He just exploded, shouting, 'Love you? How could anyone love you? You're a stupid ugly cow. The only reason I paid you any attention was because you're good at cooking and I wanted to graduate. ' " She wrinkled her nose. "There was quite a bit more, but you get the idea.
He was quite unpleasant. "
"And he validated your inner feeling that you weren'tsupposed to have anyone love you," Cale said with understanding.
Alex nodded solemnly. "It was a new version of the old button. Anyone I loved left me, died, or didn't really love me at all and would betray me . . . " She glanced away, and then admitted, "And while I know that's irrational, that God didn't take Gramps because he loved me, and I loved him, and that Jack was a big jerk . . . " She shrugged helplessly. "It doesn't make me any less scared that if I let myself love and trust you, you won't . . . "
Cale caught her hand in his and waited for her to look at him before saying, "Then don't trust me. Trust the nanos. "
She blinked at him in confusion. "I don't understand. "
"Didn't Marguerite explain about life mates to you when she explained everything else?" he asked with a frown.
Alex shook her head. "She said she would leave that to you. "
Cale nodded, and then took a moment to arrange his thoughts, before saying, "A life mate is that one person that an immortal can live out his or her very long life with happily. Neither will ever stray from the other, never betray the other, never stop loving each other. An immortal would sooner cut out his own heart and eat it than cause harm to his life mate . . . and you are mine. "
Alex frowned. "How do you know I am? Maybe-"
"She explained our abilities to you? That we can read and control mortals?" he asked.
Alex nodded. "But she said you can't read or control me. "
"Yes. That's right. That's how I know you're my life mate," he said firmly.
"That's it?" she asked with a frown.
"It's more important than it probably sounds to you," he said wryly. "You see, not only can we read and control mortals, we can also read the thoughts of other immortals if they aren't guarded. This means most immortals spend their time guarding their thoughts in the company of others. We never get to relax, we must always be on guard. But with a life mate, we can relax and not guard our thoughts. "
"And you can't read or control me?" she asked slowly.
"No, I can't," he assured her.
Suspicion immediately filled her eyes. "Marguerite said that too, but I was thinking about it, and it seems to me someone did some controlling at the restaurant last night. I woke up on the couch that first time and started throwing my clothes on, preparing to make a quick escape, but then suddenly I was taking my clothes off and going for a shower. "
"That was Bricker," Cale admitted apologetically. "I was feeding in the kitchen and he sent you for a shower so you wouldn't see. "
Her eyes narrowed, but she merely said, "And the night you helped me out at the restaurant? I wasn't too sure about leaving you there and then all of a sudden I-"
"Bricker again. I really can't read or control you, Alex. I wouldn't lie about that. It wouldn't do either ofus any good," he assured her. "But you don't have to take my word on it. There are other signs of life mates. "
"Like what?" she asked promptly.
"They are usually perfect for each other, suiting or complementing each other in temperament and taste. The nanos seem to recognize like souls and match them up. And we do complement each other, Alex. You're more creative to my more logical mind, we've worked together very well since I arrived. "
She nodded reluctantly. "That's true enough. You handled the business side like a dream. "
"And you cook like a dream," he assured her.
She smiled faintly, but said, "How else do you know if you're life mates?"
"The arrival of the life mate tends to rejuvenate an immortal. We suddenly enjoy things more. "
"What kind of things?" she asked at once.
"Food," he responded, choosing the easier subject. "I haven't been able to stand the taste or even the smell of food for more than a millennium, but after meeting you, I found my appetite for it returning. I seem to have done nothing but eat since meeting you. "
"That was true at first, but we didn't do much eating Sunday night before the accident," she pointed out dryly.
"Yes well, sex is the other appetite reawakened," he admitted with a small smile, and then asked, "Surely you noticed that it was rather . . . explosive? "
Alex flushed. "Yes, but-"
"It's because of the shared pleasure that only life mates experience. "
Alex eyed him uncertainly. "Shared pleasure?"
Cale patted the bed beside him. "Come here. "
"Why?" she asked warily.
"It is easier to show you than to tell you," he said quietly, and when she still hesitated, added, "I promise just to show you enough so that you understand more clearly, and then we will finish our talk. "
Releasing a little sigh, Alex stood and stepped to the side of the bed, and then sat carefully on the edge of it.
"Touch me," Cale said.
She raised an eyebrow, and then peered over the expanse of his wide chest. They'd removed his clothes when they'd brought him to the house. He was completely naked under the sheet covering him from the waist down. Alex peered over the available flesh, and then reached out tentatively to run her fingers lightly down his arm.
Cale stiffened involuntarily as a slow tingling ran down his skin in the trail of her touch, but Alex merely glanced to him in question. "What am I supposed to feel?"
Cale's eyes widened, and then he realized the problem. She too had to be excited to be able to experience what he'd described. Clucking under his tongue, he slid his hand into her hair, cupping her skull. He started to draw her closer, but she put a hand to his chest, stopping him.
"Wait. What-?"
"Trust me," he insisted quietly, and then grimaced and added, "Trust the nanos. "
Alex bit her lip but nodded and allowed him to urgeher closer. Cale kissed her lightly at first, seducing her by just brushing his lips over hers, teasing her gently until her lips parted, inviting a deeper kiss. He gave her what they both wanted then, and briefly deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. Other than his hand at her head, however, he didn't touch her, and he broke off the kiss at her first moan.
They were both breathing more heavily than usual when he pulled back. His voice was gruff when he said, "Now touch me. "
Alex opened her eyes slowly and met his gaze. She then lowered her eyes and reached out tentatively again. This time she touched his chest, her fingers starting by his collarbone and sliding down until they brushed across his nipple before she jerked her hand back with surprise.
"I felt that," she said with confusion, her fingers going to her own breast as if to rub away the tingling she'd started in him with her light touch.
"Oui. Life mates experience each other's pleasure," he said gruffly. "That was why I would never let you touch me before now. You would feel this and have questions I simply couldn't explain, so I-" Cale stopped on a gasp as Alex suddenly ran her hand over his groin through the blankets. She was definitely experiencing it, he decided grimly when he saw her lips part on a small gasp too.
"Right," he said a bit breathlessly. "We should probably get back to-"
"In a minute," Alex muttered. He felt a moment's relief when she removed her hand from him, but thenshe simply used it to tug away the blankets covering his lap. The moment they were out of the way, she closed her fingers around his erection and Cale squeezed his eyes closed against the pleasure of her warm soft hand sliding down to the base, gently squeezing as it went. In the next moment he cried out and blinked his eyes open in shock as he felt something warm and wet close over the tip. She'd bent to take him into her mouth.
This had been a really bad idea, Cale decided, as Alex whirled her tongue around the tip and suckled firmly. Damn, he thought dazedly, they were never going to finish this conversation if she-
Alex stopped abruptly and sat up to stare at him wide-eyed. "I felt that. "
"Yes," he nodded, half-grateful she'd stopped, and half-wis
hing she'd continue.
"I mean I seriously felt that. Not like I had a penis or anything, but every touch and lick sent shock waves of pleasure through me too. "
"Oui. I know," he said with a grimace, tugging the sheet back into place. It was better they finish this conversation. "That's why it's called shared pleasure. Only life mates experience it. "
"So you felt that every time you kissed and caressed me?" she asked with amazement.
He nodded.
"Well, damn," she breathed, and then suddenly reached out and pinched his nipple . . . hard.
Cale barked in startled pain and stared at her with amazement. "What did you do that for?"
"Sorry," she murmured, patting his arm with a frown. "I just wanted to see if I would feel your pain too. "
"No, it doesn't work that way," he said dryly, rubbing the spot.
"Huh. I wonder why not. "
Shaking his head, Cale now tugged the blankets all the way up to his armpits in case she was tempted to try other experiments, and said, "The point is we are definitely life mates. Only life mates experience the shared pleasure. " Reaching out, he caught her hand, and added solemnly, "I love you, Alex, but I understand if this all seems sudden, and you have some doubt in my feelings for you. That's okay. You don't have to trust just in me, Alex. Trust the nanos instead until you learn to trust me. "
Alex stared at Cale silently, her mind whirling. This was all happening so fast, and she wanted it to slow down. The rest of her life was at stake here, and she'd have liked more time to think, but knew she didn't have that luxury. Marguerite had explained that she had to make her decision soon, that they couldn't allow her to leave with the knowledge she had until she did. The woman had said Alex didn't have to agree to the turn right away, but she did have to decide before she'd be allowed out of the house. It was to protect their people. They hadn't kept their secret all this time by letting just anyone know about them.
Alex knew Cale was waiting for an answer, but it was so hard. She thought she loved Cale, or she was definitely headed that way. The man was gorgeous in her eyes, and considerate, and smart and sexy and the sex was to die for . . . and he was right, they did work well together and balance each other out. But she'd thought Jack loved her too. She would have staked her life on it that he had. And now was terribly afraid she might be making another mistake if she said yes.
On the other hand, her mind argued. The other choice was to never see Cale again. Ever. No more kisses, no more laughing with him, no more amazing sex, no more of his exasperated attempts to help her when she was determined to prove her independence.
Alex was teetering between a yes and a no when a knock sounded at the door. She practically leapt off the bed, saying, "I'll get it. "
She heard Cale sigh behind her and knew he was disappointed at the interruption, but she was rather relieved to have an excuse to put it off. She opened the door with a small smile that turned into an "o" of shock as she saw Sam standing in the hall. They hadn't let her see her sister since her arrival almost twenty-four hours ago, insisting it would be better to wait until she was done with her turn and felt ready for it. Now Alex stared at the woman before her and just gaped. Sam had filled out. She was no longer Olive Oyle but had some curves to her, and her eyes no longer dominated her face but set it off. They were even arresting, with the silver tint now coloring them. On top of that her hair was healthy and shiny and her skin seemed almost to glow with good health and happiness. She was a perfect Sam, almost stunning.
"Well?" Sam asked with a grin. "What do you think?"
"Oh my God!" Alex screeched and caught her up in a hug. "You look gorgeous. "
"I feel gorgeous. " Sam chuckled and hugged her back, and then added, "And that damned ear infection is finally gone too. "
"Really?" Alex asked, pulling back to peer at her. Sam had been suffering recurring ear infections for quite a while. It had been very worrisome for Alex and Jo, who had been concerned it might be a symptom of an underlying and more sinister problem.
"Really," Sam said with a happy sigh, and then glanced past her to Cale and frowned. "I came at the wrong time, didn't I? They said you'd been thinking since you got here and were going to give Cale your decision when he woke up, but you haven't yet, have you?"
"Are you reading my mind?" Alex asked with a frown.
Sam gave a laugh. "No. I can't do that yet. But Cale isn't looking happy, and I can tell-"
"He'll be fine. " Alex glanced back to Cale, and said, "I'll be right back," as she pushed Sam away from the door and stepped out to join her. She pulled the door closed, and then whirled to her sister. "What do I do?"
"About what?" Sam asked uncertainly.
"Do I accept being Cale's life mate or not?" Alex said impatiently, and her sister frowned.
"Marguerite said you love Cale," she said finally with confusion.
"She told me that too," Alex admitted with a sigh. "And I'm pretty sure I do. "
"Then say yes," Sam said at once, sounding relieved.
"But what if he doesn't love me?" Alex said with distress. "He says he does, but so did Jack an-"
"Oh, honey," Sam interrupted with a sigh. "Jack was an ass. Cale would never do to you what Jack did. "
"You can't know that for sure," Alex protested.
"Yes I can. He's an immortal. It's different with them. It took me a long time to see that, but it is. " She shook her head with disgust, and muttered, "I swear if Mom and Dad were here, I'd have a word or two to say to them. "
Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Mom and Dad were okay. "
"Then how come we're so screwed up?" she asked dryly. "They weren't around most of the time, Alex. And when they were, they were pretty critical and demanding rather than loving and supportive. " Her mouth twisted bitterly. "Do you know I left Mortimer dangling for eight months before agreeing to the turn? Why? Because I didn't feel like I could hold his attention, that it must be some mistake, that he couldn't possibly love me. I was scared silly he'd suddenly notice I wasn't good enough and perfect like Mom and Dad always insisted we had to be. It wasn't just my ex that made me feel that way. It was because Mom and Dad seemed to love that damned business more than they did us. "
Alex stared at her wide-eyed, recognizing every feeling she'd just described. It was kind of shocking to realize that Sam had come out the same way. "Do you think Jo feels like that?"
"I don't think so," Sam said on a sigh. "She was younger, and we both looked after her and gave her the love and support Mom and Dad didn't. "
They were silent for a minute, and then Sam said, "I know you're afraid of making a mistake, and I know it's scary. But if you love Cale, then say yes, Alex. The alternative is to lose him forever as well as-"
Alex raised an eyebrow. "As well as what? "
Sam hesitated, but then shook her head. "Nothing. Just take a chance and say yes. I know Jack hurt you, but would you really rather not have enjoyed the year you did have before he betrayed you? Do you really want to give up centuries of being with Cale on the off chance that something might go wrong in the future? He's been alive more than two thousand years and never met a life mate before this. Trust me, he will cherish you. "
"Two thousand years?" Alex gasped.
"Oh. " Sam grimaced. "I thought you knew. "
"Two thousand?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, he was born in 280 B. C. or something. He's pretty old, huh?"
"That's kind of an understatement, don't you think?" Alex asked dryly. "He's fricking ancient. "
"Yeah. " Sam nodded. "But he still looks good. "
Alex gave a snort of laughter, and then sighed and ran a hand wearily through her hair.
"You look exhausted," Sam said sympathetically.
"I haven't slept since I got here," Alex admitted.
Sam's eyebrows rose. "Why not?"
"I was thinking. Trying to decide what to do. "
"
Alex, you've never been any good at decision making when you were exhausted. Get some sleep. It will clear your head, and then you'll be able to decide. "
"You're right. " Alex grimaced. She was always a little foggy when she was exhausted, and she was more exhausted at that moment than she'd ever been in her life, in spirit as well as body. Between being attacked, taking her relationship with Cale to the next level, and then this whole vampire bit, a lot had happened in a very short time. It would have been hard enough to take it in after a good night's sleep, but without it, it seemed impossible. Sleep definitely seemed a good idea, but Cale was waiting.
"I'll tell him you've gone to rest," Sam said quietly when Alex glanced reluctantly toward the bedroom door they stood in front of.
"Thanks," Alex said with relief, and turned to move toward the room Marguerite had led her to when they'd had their talk.
"Alex. "
She paused at the door and glanced back in question.
"I love you," Sam said quietly. "No matter your decision, I want you to know I love you. I never want you to forget that. "
Alex smiled quizzically. "I love you too, Sam. "
Sam smiled sadly and turned to enter Cale's room, and Alex turned back to her door, wishing she had a map or instruction booklet to life. She just wanted someone else to tell her what to do, which decision was the right one. Should she leap impetuously after love,or would it be smarter to stand on the shoreline and watch the love boat sail away?
"The Love Boat," she muttered with disgust as she entered her room. Now she was just getting sappy. She definitely needed to sleep.
