by Nina Lincoln
The farther from civilization we go, the glummer I get. Yes, I want to have fun, but memories are assailing me that I can’t block—all courtesy of my dick dad and his incessant need for control.
Stop your bitching, or I’ll leave you behind.
We settle down on the grass behind the store to eat lunch, and suppressing a shiver, I smile when Colt lays his hand on my thigh while he chats with his friends.
Staring at my crappy lunch, I chew mindlessly, grimacing at the cardboard taste of ham and bread without mayo. Yum - not.
After our sad lunch, we get back on the road. I guess Hayden’s got his second wind because he proceeds to make out with his girl as soon as the bus lurches into motion, and I think it devolves into sex at some point, but I refuse to look, so I don’t know for sure.
The specter must be enough to get Colt going, though, because he gives me a fiery stare and pulls me into a heated kiss. Blocking me in so no one can see, he caresses my core through my jeans as he sucks my cries into his mouth, and slowly achingly, he brings me to orgasm, grunting his pleasure into my mouth.
Not to be outdone, but feeling shy, I take his dick from his pants and caress it between my fingers. He stares at me through lidded eyes, and with a smile, I slowly return the favor, closing my mouth over the tip when he comes.
He groans low in his throat and clutches me to him when we’re done. It’s magical and unforgettable, and I drop into sleep again, dreaming of the next time and the look in his eyes when he embraced me.
Goddamnit Finn, I’m tired of your bitchy mouth. Stop crying your fake ass tears before I give you something to cry about!
It's late afternoon when we arrive at our camping site, and I’m grumpy, disturbed by my dreams, filled with the memories I was hoping to escape. Clearly, this camping trip is bringing them to the fore, and I don’t appreciate it much.
We all escape the bus with smiles, although mine is forced, happy to be able to stretch our legs and breathe fresh air.
Colt grabs me to him as the Northside High busses pull in behind us, and I grin and wave when Ramie exits, Teddy alongside her.
Wandering over, I give her a hug and touch Teddy’s shoulder, to which he beams at me from his chair, not the least bit cowed about camping while I’ve been dreading it. It's a lesson to me, be grateful because these moments could be stolen from me at any moment.
And I vow to do my best to put the rotten thoughts of my dad aside, after all, this is my last chance to be a typical high school jerk. I should be embracing this shit.
The teachers pull us around for the obligatory speech, informing us we can pick our tent partner as long as it's the same sex, and the pairing off is approved ahead of time.
Glancing around, assuming Melissa would want to be my partner, I’m confused when she’s nowhere to be found.
When I ask Ramie, she whispers, “Stomach bug. She bowed out at the last minute.”
With a frown, I wonder if she’s really sick. She’s been off for weeks now, and I don't know what the deal is since she won't tell me.
Ramie agrees to be my partner, and after the staff approves us, we take off for the area reserved for the girls.
Colt gives me a meaningful look, and I smile, but I suspect sneaking into my area isn't going to be easy, not that I’m not looking forward to his efforts.
Ramie’s silent as we set up our tent, and after giving her several surreptitious glances, noting her grim expression, I finally ask, “Are you okay?”
“Hm?” she says, looking up.
Her jade eyes are vacant, and her mouth is turned down in a frown. “Oh, yes. I guess I don't know. I hate camping, and well, I’ve just got a weird feeling.”
“A weird feeling about what?” I whisper.
She looks up at me with a strange intensity, causing chills down my arms, and mutters, “It's probably nothing. I just get weird feelings sometimes.
“Like when?” I ask uneasily.
“When my mother died for one. I just knew something bad was going to happen.”
Cripes. Shuddering, I turn and look for Colt. He’s standing with Hayden and waving his arms around in frustration. Why they chose to bunk together, I don't know. They’re like oil and water. Maybe once upon a time, they were the best of friends, but too much has happened between then and now for them to get back there anytime soon.
I suspect they agreed to share because they hoped one or both would be gone, allowing for a softer, more pliable sleep partner to enter.
As if sensing my gaze, Colt glances my way with a sexy smirk, and I ease, the anxiety from Ramie’s words sliding off my back. Whatever her feelings, they’ve nothing to do with me and probably nothing to do with anything. Maybe she’s on her period or something.
“I’m sure it will be fine,” I say lamely, and she gives me a tremulous smile, the pity behind her eyes ratcheting my paranoia. Now regretting agreeing to ‘room’ with her, I drop my shit inside and wander over to Colt’s side.
Their tent is now fully functional, and Hayden’s runoff.
Turning to me with a smile, Colt spies my severe expression and asks, “What’s wrong?”
Hesitating, I decide against revealing Ramie’s words. It’ll just make me look crazy too, but I can't help but look back at her, where she stands outside the tent with an absent expression, staring into nothing with a frown.
“Finn?”
Turning back to him, I smile, and he eases, although the v between his brows remains. Before I have a chance to respond, the group is called over by the teachers standing in a row, who outline the five-day trip's rules—no boys in the girl’s camp, no girls in the boys. No violence. No alcohol. No drugs. Stay in your groups. Do not wander off. And on it goes.
With some amusement, I wonder if the faculty is high. I mean, they’ve seen these students all year long right, they must know these shits revel in getting up to no good. Half the group has probably already planned out how they’re going to sneak away.
Snuggled under Colt’s arm, I spy Teddy in his chair across the way sitting beside Dirk, who stands with a smirk. Beside him is George, looking on with a long-suffering look, and with a smile, I tune back in to learn we’ll be starting our first lesson before dinner in two hours.
Unfortunately, for this first foray, Colt’s sent off with a different group, leaving me with Dirk at least, who gives me a sarcastic lift of his brow and leads the way.
Glancing back at Colt, I smile when he blows me a kiss, annoyed to spy Hayden’s honey waiting for him. He doesn't so much as look her way, but I’m still stewing over it as we disappear the other direction into the woods.
We hike for a good twenty minutes before Mrs. Smith halts and looks us over, handing out a sheet of paper and pencils. “Okay, kids. Go forth and look over the trees and wildlife. Try to find the items on your sheets based on the hints. Have fun. Do not make me lose my shit.”
We all chuckle at her forthright words and turn away, wandering into the foliage to look around.
Dirk walks beside me, whistling under his breath as I glance over the questions and frown at the hints, stopping before a series of trees with moss growing up the trunk. I hate science, and I’m not a huge fan of nature.
“What do you suppose this means?” I ask, pointing at the paper. Dirk shrugs and looks beyond my shoulder to a set of students huddled around another tree.
“What?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll just ask someone else for the answers. We’re not graded anyway,” Dirk says with a wide smile.
“What? I thought this was part of our grade!” I complain, flipping the paper around in my hand.
Chuckling, he shakes his head and says, “Being here is part of the grade, what we turn in, not so much. Nobody cares, Finn. We’re weeks away from getting out of this fucking hellhole.”
Surprised, I glance at his face - for once, he’s missing the flirty smirk, his eyes blazing with distaste.
“Wow, I didn't know you hated it here so mu
ch.”
He shrugs, “Whatever, it's fine, but I’m tired of the bullshit. I’m ready to move on.”
“From Colt?” I ask curiously.
“Maybe, just from this life.”
“Did you get into college?”
“Naw, I’m taking a year off. Maybe I'll travel Europe, bag some foreign bitches.”
Rolling my eyes, I look around and step closer to whisper, “What about Lauren?”
I can’t resist asking. It’s been on my mind since Sarah revealed the information all those months ago. Colt’s never said anything, and as far as I know, he doesn’t know. So, what happened? Are they still seeing each other?
I’ve never seen them together, and he’s always got a different chick on his arm. Is that a diversionary tactic, or was it all a lie to begin with?
Dirk stiffens, his entire body going rigid, and almost immediately, he exudes waves of ice as he stares at me intently - it’s so anathema to his usually amused derision I suck in a breath.
“What?” he says in a low tone.
Licking my lips, I smile tentatively, “I thought...maybe you liked her?”
“Where the fuck did you hear that?” he snarls.
Stepping back, I regret bringing it up when he gives me a fierce glare. “I overheard you talking to Sarah about it.”
He glances around wildly before turning back to me, “What you heard was bullshit.”
Sensing his message, I slowly nod my head, but when he doesn’t turn from his intense stare, I mutter, “If I was going to tell Colt, I would have already.”
Slowly he eases back, searching my eyes one last time before turning away. Sheesh. That was intense. Lesson learned, the hard way. Do not mention Lauren to Dirk.
*****
The evening involves dinner, s’mores, and watching a movie set up with a projector shining on a white sheet. It’s completely stupid but fun to snuggle up with Colt and watch a classic black and white horror flick.
Colt caresses me through the entire movie, creating a bubble of need that makes me squirm, while he chuckles in my ear from time to time.
Arching slightly beneath him, I hold my breath when he slowly eases his hand into my jeans, beneath the blanket pulled over us, and runs his fingers over my lips before gently rubbing my clit.
With a shiver, I hold perfectly still as he drives me crazy with his slow, deliberate strokes, and it takes everything in me not to moan out loud.
Still, they push me to the brink quickly enough, and leaning my head against his shoulder, I clamp my jaw closed and shudder in his arms, pleasure spiraling through me on wings.
Colt moans below me and tightens his grip, his pants heavy against my ear, as he rubs his erection roughly against my ass.
Opening my eyes slowly, I glance around drowsily, meeting the gaze of Teddy across the way, where he’s situated near the makeshift screen to accommodate his chair. For a moment, I can't identify his look, and heat flames in my cheeks at the thought he knows what we just did, but then his eyes brighten in a smile, and he looks away.
Mortified, I shift in Colt’s arms, and he pulls his hand free, clutching me to him as he rubs his dick against me heatedly. Since I’m thoroughly embarrassed, I ignore his need, and he chuckles into my ear.
“What's the matter, Princess? Shy?”
“People can see us,” I mutter.
“Sure they can, and all those people are already fucking each other.”
Looking around more closely, I realize there are indeed quite a few students getting it on. Some don't even care that the faculty are all around us, revealing their body parts for all to see.
For a moment, I’m mesmerized, the dirty sight creating another surge of need, but then I look back at the side of Teddy’s face and change my mind. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable, nor do I want him to think of me having sex with Colt every time he looks at me.
Colt sensing my reticence eases behind me, and I snuggle deeper against the cool air. It’s hard to believe we’ll be graduating in just a few short weeks. Since both he and I will be attending community college, I’ve considered asking if he wants to get a place together, which does nothing for my raging libido.
After the movie, we’re shuffled off to our respective tents, and I give Colt a sweet kiss goodnight, to which he gazes at me mournfully before turning back to his own.
When I get to our tent, Ramie’s nowhere to be found and snuggling into my bag, I absently wonder who she's sharing with tonight.
*****
The following day I emerge from my tent slightly grumpy. Ramie came in late, made enough noise to rouse a buffalo, and if I’m not mistaken, cried herself to sleep.
I’m both annoyed and concerned about her, but when I wake, she’s gone, and with a sigh, I brush my teeth and gather around the early morning fire. It’s chilly, my bones feel brittle, I’d like a shower, and my back hurts from sleeping on the cold hard ground. Remind me again why people camp?
Colt saunters up a while later, looking good enough to eat, and my good spirits return with his wink and hug.
“How did you sleep?” he whispers in my ear.
Goosebumps rise on my arms in tandem with a warmth that makes me squirm, and Colt smirks at my reaction, his pleasure plain to see.
With a smile, I murmur, “Shitty.”
Running his nose along my neck, he says in a husky voice, “I dreamt about you.”
“Oh, yeah?” I say, breathless.
“Mm,” he breathes.
A whole-body shiver wracks me, and I laugh when he chuckles against my neck, running his stubble over my sensitive skin. I’ll never get tired of happy Colt. He’s like a drug I can’t quit.
“Mornin’,” Teddy says, rolling up in his chair.
I’m impressed. The thing looks like it could go rough terrain with huge thick wheels and what looks like a brush cage on the front.
“Hey, Teddy,” I say with a smile.
“Ready to hunt flora and fauna today?” he asks.
With a laugh, I nod my head. “Indeed.”
“I just hope we get to pick our groups this time,” Colt says sourly.
“What’s the matter? The pretty adulation of Kaitlin Moss turned you off?”
For a moment, there’s complete silence while I consider the pretty girl Hayden brought into our group, and whom Colt spent our first lesson with yesterday, but more disturbingly, Teddy’s being particularly nasty.
Surprised, I swing my head his way to see the gleam in his eyes that fades with my frown before he backs away, giving me a sad smile.
“I’m trying to give him room to get over his crush, but if he doesn’t stop acting like a douche…” Colt mutters.
“Crush?” I ask him, confused.
“Yeah, c’mon Finn, you must know he’s liked you since forever,” Colt says, exasperated.
“No,” I say, glancing at the back of Teddy’s head.
“Yes,” Colt says emphatically.
With a sinking heart, I search my soul, but up until now, he’s never acted anything but friendly. Did I miss the signs?
Poor Teddy. Now I feel like an ass. How many times has he listened to me complain about my feelings for Colt while harboring his own?
The teacher draws us away from our conversation, but I’m left disturbed as they wave us into groups for the first lesson of the day. Once again, Colt and I are separated to his chagrin, and I watch through narrowed eyes as the pretty Kaitlin trails after him.
Teddy rolls up beside me with a tentative smile, and I return it. I can’t be angry with him for liking me, although I do wish he weren’t so mean about it.
“Okay, kids. Today we’re going to collect soil samples. Here’s your bags. We’ve given you labels, markdown where you found them, what’s growing around them, and so on.”
Grabbing the bags, I turn to Teddy with a raised brow, and he nods, leading the way farther into the forest.
At first, it’s quiet while we wander around and find different spot
s where we can easily collect the dirt, moving from tree to plant, and so on. We work efficiently together, and it’s friendly and fun until it isn’t.
I’m labeling a sample, my hands covered in dirt, grit between my fingers, when Teddy speaks, effectively crushing my mood.
“Finn, you know Colt can never be what you deserve,” Teddy says casually.
Clenching the bag, as my good spirits crash under the weight of his words, I turn away for a moment to gather my bearings. Why can’t we just be free?
It feels like there’s always someone waiting in the wings to tear us down. As if we need outsiders when half the time, we manage to do it well enough ourselves.
Sourly, I shoot him a glare and say, “Teddy…”
“Look, I get it. You’ll never like the crip in the chair, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell you what’s real. Colt plays girls. He always has. You think Portia and Sarah were the only ones? He doesn’t care about you. He cares as long as Hayden does. You’ll see.”
“Teddy! Stop! What are you doing? This isn’t you!” I say, exasperated, his cruel words creating a visceral pain in my chest, as though he’s channeling all my insecurities.
“It’s not?” he sneers. “Maybe you just refused to see me as I am. Perfect Finn, the Princess doesn’t like what she sees? Well, too fucking bad. I’ve been a good friend to you. Have you ever actually seen me?”
With that, he awkwardly turns his chair with an ugly look of frustration and rolls away. Helplessly, I watch, hurt pulsing in my chest. Teddy has been the best of friends to me, but this nasty side of him has me questioning it all and the reality stings.
Morosely, I finish the collection and tune out as the teacher goes through the lesson, heading back to camp when we’re finally set free. Colt’s not back yet, so I collapse in my tent and stare at the ceiling.
Of course, Teddy hit me where I’m most vulnerable, but I refuse to entertain the thought he’s still playing a game. We’ve been through too much already besides, I have to have some faith. And I choose to believe.
