Hailey took one look at Eli and slipped into her room as well.
Eli turned to Natalie, expecting some gratitude. After all, the kids should appreciate how hard she worked. Instead, he was met with a look of pity. “What?” he demanded.
“Ryan was doing good.” She set her purse on the counter.
“He didn’t give a thought to this family or our needs.”
Natalie’s hand went to her hip, her face thoughtful. “It’s not about you.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
“No, you didn’t actually say those words, but that’s what you’re broadcasting. Ryan looked at someone in need and gave all he had. His act of selflessness had nothing to do with you. He isn’t out to get you and he’s not trying to disrespect me. I think you were a little rough on him.”
Eli couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He threw his hands out to the side. “I was defending you.”
“I wouldn’t have picked that fight.” The corners of Natalie’s mouth lifted sadly. She ran her fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear.
“What?”
“I can’t help but think that the guy I married would have handed over his lunch money, too.”
“Maybe I’m not that guy anymore,” Eli countered.
Natalie bit her lip, and her eyes dropped. “Then I guess I have some things to ponder and decisions to make.”
Even though Natalie was calm, Eli had a hard time bringing his voice back down. There was some kind of block keeping the messages to chill out from reaching his body. His neck burned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Natalie pressed her lips together and shook her head. Eli waited. Finally, she sniffed and brought her gaze up to meet his.
And then he saw a kaleidoscope of emotions in Natalie’s eyes that shook him right down to his toenails—questions, loneliness, and a distance he’d created between them. Eli balled his hand into a fist. Those sentiments had never been in Natalie before. Not until this very moment had she questioned them—not when he lost his job, not when he slept on the couch, and not when he failed over and over again. She’d never looked at him with her guard up … until today.
It killed him.
Eli reeled knowing he was the one who had put the doubt there. He was the one who forced her to back away. He yelled. He berated his son for giving to those less fortunate. He’d been pushing her away for months, and tonight, he’d pushed too hard. Or maybe her wall had been built brick by brick from his smaller misdeeds, and tonight had sealed the holes. Whichever it was, Natalie’s withdrawal scared him in a way that made the foundation of his being shudder at the possibility of losing his better half—and she was certainly the better of the two of them.
Needing an escape, Eli grabbed his keys off the counter. “I’m going out. The tacos are probably ready. Don’t wait up.”
Natalie pressed her back to the wall to allow him enough space to pass that their bodies wouldn’t touch even accidentally. Eli felt every millimeter of the distance like a needle to the heart.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, echoed his boots on the stairs.
The car started easy enough and he backed out of the driveway, wishing he knew what to do or say that would make things better. Natalie was probably calling her sister for a reference to a divorce lawyer right now. Pressing his fist to his chest, Eli held back the rush of pain. Losing Natalie would be like losing the best part of himself—the only part worth keeping, as far as he was concerned.
Driving aimlessly around Snow Valley didn’t take long. The city center only had a few blocks. The one light on Main Street stayed green, allowing him to cruise right through. Thankfully there wasn’t much traffic, because Eli’s mind wasn’t on the road.
Could Natalie leave him?
Not that he would blame her if she did. He rubbed at the back of his neck. How could she even consider walking away from the promises they’d made before God and their families and friends? Not to mention the deep commitment they’d made in their hearts. He’d always believed she would be true; she had more integrity than anyone he’d ever met.
The lights were on at Aunt Sophie’s, so he pulled up to the curb and killed the engine. He sat in the dark car, debating whether he should go in or not. Aunt Sophie was really Natalie’s aunt, though she’d taken Eli in as one of her own. He’d been considered family from the first day he came to Snow Valley, and the welcome had been a balm for his turbulent childhood.
Hailey had stopped by after school. He shouldn’t bother Aunt Sophie tonight, even if he could use a large dose of her motherliness right about now. If anyone could help him dig his way out of this mess, it would be Aunt Sophie. She’d tried to tell him, not two weeks ago, to appreciate what he had. However, until he’d seen the uncertainty in Natalie’s eyes, he didn’t think he had anything left to lose. Oh how wrong he’d been.
Gathering himself, Eli swore up and down that no matter what Aunt Sophie told him, he’d listen, and hopefully his efforts would be enough to make things right with Natalie.
He trudged up the lane and let himself in. “Hello?” he called. No answer came. The television cheered as a contestant spun the wheel. Eli walked quietly into the family room in case she’d fallen asleep in Uncle Liam’s chair, as she was prone to do on weeknights.
His gaze swept the room and found Aunt Sophie on the floor, her arms and legs sprawled out. Eli let out a strangled cry as he dropped to his knees and searched for a pulse. She was still breathing, but so shallowly that he had a hard time seeing her back rise.
Scrambling to find his phone, Eli dialed 911. “She’s on the floor, I don’t dare move her.”
The dispatcher assured him the ambulance would be there momentarily. Thankful that Aunt Sophie lived close to the hospital, he offered a prayer, unsure if he was making any sense through the panic.
“Hang in there,” he whispered close to her ear. “I’m here, Aunt Sophie. I’m here.” The sirens reached him first. “They’re coming to help. Please hang on.” He wiped a drop of water off her cheek, wondering where it came from, and another took its place. Eli reached up and found his face covered in tears. He didn’t know they’d started.
There was a bang as the front door flew open. Aunt Sophie didn’t stir.
“In here!” called Eli, not wanting to leave Aunt Sophie’s side. He glanced up to see Sawyer Hacket and two others in navy jackets and pants. Sawyer was the drummer for the Iron Stix. Eli had played softball with Sawyer for the last five years, and was thankful he still volunteered with the ambulance service and that there was a friendly face in the group.
“How long has she been out?” asked Sawyer as he shouldered Eli aside so he could examine Aunt Sophie.
Eli fell back against the couch, not caring that he cried in front of a bunch of guys he played softball with. “I don’t know. I found her like this. My daughter was here—after school. She was fine then.” Oh dear Lord … please!
Sawyer fingered the flat silver bracelet on Aunt Sophie’s wrist. “Diabetic,” he informed the other two paramedics. On the count of three they turned Aunt Sophie over. There was a large bruise on one side of her face, up near her eye. “Looks like she was out before she hit the floor.”
Aunt Sophie gasped twice, her eyes never opening.
They continued to work over her, inserting an IV and checking for broken bones before getting her onto the stretcher.
“Is she going to be okay?”
“I don’t know.” Sawyer shook his head. “We need to go, now. Are you riding with us?”
Eli scrambled to his feet, following the stretcher as the paramedics muscled the clanking bed out the front door. He wanted to stay with Aunt Sophie, but Natalie needed to be here. He needed Natalie. Aunt Sophie needed Natalie. “We only have one car. I need to pick up Nat.”
“We’ll meet you over there, then.” Sawyer paused at the door. “You’ll want to hurry.”
Eli sprang into action. Making sure the door was shut tight behind him, he bolted to hi
s car and squealed away before the ambulance pulled out. The ride home was a blur of tears and Main Street.
He burst through his own front door screaming, “Natalie! Nat!”
“What?” She and the kids were at the table, a picked-over taco bar laid out in front of them. She took one look at Eli and her hands flew to her mouth. Rising halfway out of her chair, Eli grabbed her and smashed her to his chest.
“Aunt Sophie—she—” Eli shook his head; there wasn’t time. “Car,” he blurted.
Natalie pushed away. “Let’s go.” She grabbed her purse. “Ryan, you’re in charge of cleaning the kitchen. Hailey, you need to help.”
Eli followed Natalie out at a sprint.
“What happened?” Nat asked as she buckled her seatbelt. They were already halfway to the hospital.
Eli gulped and reached for Nat’s hand. “She wasn’t moving. I called … they said something about diabetic shock.” He shook his head, wondering if he was making any sense.
He prayed for Aunt Sophie. He prayed for Natalie. And he added a little prayer that they would be okay and he’d have time to make things up to her.
As they careened around a corner, the hospital came into view. The ambulance was parked in front of the emergency entrance, the back doors gaping open to reveal the empty cavity in the back. Screeching to a stop behind the ambulance, Eli and Natalie bailed out of the car as if the darn thing were on fire.
Rushing through the sliding doors and past the empty receptionist desk, they came up short at the sight of Doctor Taggart sliding a curtain closed, his head hanging low. A sense of empty heaviness filled the space.
Eli and Natalie groped for one another’s hands. Natalie squeezed tight, and Eli held on for dear life. “Please, no,” he whispered.
Natalie pressed her free hand to her mouth and her body jerked with a silent sob.
Doctor Taggart saw them and came over. “I’m so sorry. She didn’t make it.”
Turning away from the news and into Eli, Natalie gripped his shirt in her hands and wept. Her slender shoulders trembled, and her tears were hot against his neck.
The doctor touched his elbow. “I’m here for the night. You can have me paged if you have questions.”
“Thanks,” Eli croaked.
The loss of Aunt Sophie, the kindest and truest friend he’d known—save his bride—ground down on Eli as he stood tall for Natalie, wanting to be the one she leaned on … wanting her to know he would always be there for her … wanting to be the one she turned to … wanting to be her man in every way.
Rubbing little circles on her back, Eli allowed his grief to mix with his wife’s, and he cried. He cried for Aunt Sophie, for losing his job, for trying and failing, for having given up, for all he’d done and for all the things he should have done but didn’t.
Having released his pain, Eli found the fog had thinned and he could think clearly. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “Do you want to call Joyce, or do you want me to?”
“I can’t,” Natalie gasped.
“I’ve got it.” Eli dialed the number. “Hi Joyce, this is Eli … Thanks … Listen, Natalie and I are at the hospital. I need you to come … No, Aunt Sophie. She—” He glanced down at Natalie, who buried herself in his chest as if she couldn’t bear to face what had happened. Eli kissed her hair. “She passed away and we need your help … Thanks, we’ll see you soon.”
Eli kissed Natalie again. “She’s on her way.”
“Thank you.”
“I’d do anything for you, Nat. I love you.”
Her arms came around his back, and Eli felt rather than heard her say, “I love you too.”
Chapter 13
Three days later
Natalie knocked softly before opening Hailey’s door. “Morning.”
Hailey pressed herself off the mattress, revealing knotted hair and red eyes. She looked every bit as brokenhearted as Natalie felt.
Aunt Sophie’s death was still a shock. She hadn’t survived the ride to the hospital before her spirit slipped away. Natalie didn’t blame the doctors, the nurses, or the hospital staff. Aunt Sophie had a living will that stipulated she not be placed on life support. Her passing was as she would have wanted: they said she’d passed out and not felt a thing.
Each morning upon awakening, Natalie found that the world had an Aunt Sophie-sized hole, and there was no peg that could fill that gap and make things better.
St. Patrick’s Day came and went in a flurry of funeral preparations. Aunt Sophie had prepaid for her casket and burial plot; she’d even picked the hymns and who would speak at her funeral. Thankfully, she’d left Natalie off the speaking list and requested that Hailey sing.
“I made this for you for Easter, but I think Aunt Sophie would want you to wear it today.” She pulled the garbage bag away to reveal the made-over dress.
Hailey blinked. “It’s not black.”
“It was Aunt Sophie’s when she was just a little older than you.”
Hailey reached out and fingered the material. “It was Aunt Sophie’s?”
Natalie swallowed against the lump in her throat and nodded.
“It’s so pretty.”
“She had expensive taste for a farm girl.” They both chuckled.
“Well, she could spot quality in fabric and people from a mile away.” Hailey wiped at her tears. “She always said, ‘Buster Write is a good man, despite his funny clothes and stuff.’”
Natalie nodded. Buster had taken the initiative to watch over Aunt Sophie’s place. He’d given the grass a spring fertilizer, planted some flowers in the front beds, and cleaned all the windows. Natalie took him plates of food from the outpouring of casseroles and lasagna dinners provided by grieving friends and neighbors. The time she spent reminiscing with Buster was a balm to her wounded soul.
“And you always said she liked Dad right off the bat.”
“Yes, she did,” Natalie agreed. From the moment Eli burst into the house with the news of Aunt Sophie, he and Natalie had called a truce of sorts. Their only focus was on planning the funeral and organizing places for family to stay. They weren’t thinking or talking about their own issues. For a while, it was truly not about either of them, and the blessed peace that came from uniting together was refreshing.
The one big change was the sleeping arrangements. Eli had come to their bed that first night and every night since, wrapping her in his arms, and they simply held one another tight until they fell asleep. No more needle-breaking kisses ensued, but that was okay—for now.
Natalie sighed as she left her daughter to get dressed.
At times, she let her tears flow, mourning the marriage and life she’d wanted right along with her dear aunt. She’d had the perfect life for a while, and then the illusion had slipped away. Time before Eli lost his job seemed like a dream … and maybe it was: a dream existence where she didn’t face difficult choices, she didn’t work hard for what she had, and she didn’t value what was right in front of her.
Death did this to people, didn’t it? Losing a loved one made people contemplate their existence, look beyond the horizon of their circumstances and search out meaning.
Stepping into the shower, Natalie couldn’t follow her thoughts into deeper waters. Right now, she needed to survive the funeral service and the onslaught of family who had arrived in Snow Valley to celebrate the life and mourn the death of one of their own.
Chapter 14
Eli sat beside Natalie in the pew, her small, cold hand resting in his. She’d been this temperature ever since they’d arrived at the hospital only to find out they were too late. No matter how close he held her or how many tears she shed, her hands wouldn’t warm up. He worried that her heart was damaged and couldn’t pump hard enough to heat her fingers. If anyone could die of a broken heart, Natalie could. She had a heart as big as Montana, and when she suffered, her heartache showed in the lines of her face.
Natalie’s parents sat in front of them with her little brother and his famil
y. They had kids in elementary school and a new baby to boot. Natalie’s mom, Joan, held the infant close to her chest, and Eli considered the comfort of a babe who had so recently come through the veil and into this life at a time when Joan was missing someone who had passed through to the other side.
Joyce and her kids’ grown kids were behind them, grief overwhelming the strain that usually accompanied his sister-in-law and her family.
Aunt Sophie’s kids and their children were clumped together in the center of the chapel. With so many grandchildren, they had a plethora of pallbearers and honorary pallbearers.
Surrounding the family were neighbors and longtime friends. The viewing the night before had gone well past the two hours allotted because of the overwhelming number of people who wanted to pay their respects. Today the church was filled to overflowing, and those who couldn’t find seats leaned against the back wall.
Eli was struck by the stories people told of Aunt Sophie. He’d always known her to be generous with her time and hugs, but he’d never guessed the extent of her good works.
The choir sang “How Great Thou Art,” as specified by Aunt Sophie’s wishes. Pastor James, relatively new to Snow Valley, shuffled to the podium, cleared his throat, and fixed his gaze on the stained-glass window high on the back wall. He stared so long, Eli was tempted to turn around and take a look himself.
“Sophie Morris did not live a wealthy life,” he began. “She grew a large garden and canned fruits and vegetables for over fifty years, not because she enjoyed the work—” He chuckled lightly, and so did several in the congregation. “—but because in doing so, she was able to provide these for her family and many neighbors when they would otherwise have gone hungry.
Lucy McConnell's Snow Valley Box Set Page 30
