by Kelly Oram
My soup needed stirring again.
Ethan reached across the table suddenly and pulled my hand into his. “Grace,” he said softly, “when you were gone, and I couldn’t find you…”
His voice trailed off and his hand trembled in mine. The depth of whatever he was feeling right then took the wind from my lungs.
“It was bad,” Russ muttered.
It must have been a lot worse than bad if even Russ Devereaux couldn’t joke about it.
Ethan took a deep breath, then covered our hands with his other one. “I want this. I want to stop hating myself. I want to make my father proud. I want to make you proud. I want—accept my oath, Grace. Accept me. Please.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. My eyes filled with tears and I sniffled as I took my hand out of his. “I can’t. But you can still protect me without swearing an oath. You already have. You found me, Ethan. You saved me and you brought me home. I am proud of you. Andrew’s dead now. It’s not necessary for you to swear an oath to me.”
Ethan slumped back in his seat. He was taking this rejection a lot harder than I’d expected. “I’ve already failed you,” he muttered.
“No!” I said, startled. “It’s not that! I don’t care about anything from before. I understand why you felt that way about me. I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”
“I’m bonded to you, Grace!” Ethan pleaded desperately. “You heard my dad. You are what’s best for me. I don’t hate you anymore—not at all—and I’m tired of denying it.”
That scared me. I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that, but after the way he’d been acting toward me since swearing his oath, I couldn’t help wondering if there was more to his intentions than just protecting me.
My thoughts automatically drifted back to our conversation with Michael about the way angels love. Ethan was more angel than anything else. Did he already possess some angelic traits, even without me accepting the bond? Probably. He was already surpassing his clan members in skill and he hadn’t even begun his real training yet. Did he love like an angel already?
I couldn’t stop my brain from wandering to his mother—the way she was about Ethan and Michael—even Russ and me. She loved so freely and unconditionally that she was practically a slave to it. Would Ethan be like that? Was he a little bit already?
It was torture. He looked as desperate as Andrew had when he’d begged me to love him. The familiarity in the moment brought on a bunch of unwanted memories.
Ethan was holding his breath for my answer. I shook my head and watched his face pale.
“Andrew kept asking me to accept him, too,” I said. “I know this isn’t the same, but it kind of is. Another person wanting something from me that I don’t want to give.”
Ethan went so pale that Russ had to speak on his behalf. “Ethan isn’t Andrew, Grace. And he’s not asking you to love him.”
I knew that, but still. I shook my head again and more tears fell down my cheeks. “I felt so trapped when I was with Andrew, and terrified of the future,” I tried to explain to Ethan. “I don’t want to feel that way again. I can’t. I’m sorry, but I don’t like you.”
Ethan jerked back as if I’d punched him, so I quickly said, “I mean, not in that way. I don’t want to end up like your mother. I want a choice in the person I love. Don’t you?”
“Grace, I really don’t think it will be like that,” Ethan insisted. “I don’t see how it could change things between us that much. Maybe we’ll finally be able to be friends the way we should have been all along, but we won’t just fall in love like we’re under a spell. We’ll still have our freedom. We’ll still be us. We’ll just understand each other better. We’ll be able to help each other instead of constantly hurting each other like we do now. Don’t you want that?”
I did want that. A little bit, at least. I wanted to really be able to forgive Ethan, and I wanted things to stop being so awkward between us. “I’ll think about it, okay?” Ethan nodded, but he looked crushed.
I felt a new wave of tears hit me. “Maybe someday I’ll be ready for that commitment, but right now I’ve been through too much,” I said. “I can’t handle anything else yet.”
Ethan nodded again.
“Well,” Russ said after about five of the longest, most silent minutes of my life. “Now that we’ve got one awkward conversation out of the way, shall we go tackle another? We have several goodies to choose from.”
“Like the one you need to have with your father?” Ethan asked with a sense of astonishment in his voice.
“The one I what?”
Ethan was staring in shock over Russ’s shoulder. I looked up just in time to see a handsome man give Ethan a very Russ-looking grin, and gasped. It was definitely Russ’s dad. The stranger smiling at us was Russ in twenty-five years, but with shorter hair and somehow less cocky-looking. But only a little.
“Dad?”
“Hey, Russ.”
The guy looked surprisingly nervous.
I glanced at Ethan. I think that’s our cue.
Ethan nodded quickly and scrambled to his feet. “You ready, Grace?” he asked reaching for my crutches.
“We’ll be in the car,” I said to Russ.
I started to stand, but Russ had either forgotten to let go of my hand or he couldn’t. Either way, when he didn’t let go of me, I lost my balance and fell back into the booth, nearly spilling the bowl of cold soup I had never finished.
“Or we can stay,” Ethan mumbled, plopping back in his seat.
Russ didn’t notice either of us. He’d forgotten we were even there. He was still staring at his dad. Or, watching him, I should say. Like a hawk.
“What are you doing here?”
Russ’s dad glanced quickly at me and I recognized the look. He wasn’t noticing my resemblance to Dani, and he wasn’t recognizing me as the new president’s daughter. He was checking himself in front of the human. “I was hoping to talk to you,” he said carefully.
“How’d you find me?” Russ demanded.
Mr. Devereaux peeked in my direction again.
“It’s all right, Mr. Devereaux,” I said. “You don’t have to censor yourself for the human’s sake.”
Mr. Devereaux looked startled, and Russ finally snapped out of his shock enough to remember me. “Oh!” he said, then glanced back at his dad and cursed under his breath. “Hey, do you and Ethan mind going on ahead of me?” he asked.
He squeezed my hand and then tipped the brim of the hat he and Ethan had forced me to wear, lowering it significantly over my face. The gesture seemed playful, but I realized what he was doing, and so did Ethan. Russ didn’t want his dad to get a good look at me.
“No problem,” Ethan said, already yanking me up by my sleeve. “We’ll be at my house.” He stopped and then grimaced at me. “Unless you’d rather I take you home.”
“We’ll be at his house,” I said quickly. Without looking up, I added, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Devereaux.”
Russ’s dad stepped back, blocking Ethan’s and my exit—clearly suspicious. “Well now,” he said casually, “we didn’t actually get to meet, did we? I’m Alexander Devereaux. And you are?”
“My name is Grace, sir,” I said to my shoes. “And this is Ethan.”
“‘Sir’?” Mr. Devereaux repeated with horror. “Good heavens, honey. Call me Alex.”
Mr. Devereaux held his hand out to me and I panicked. I can’t touch him! He’ll know I’m different!
Gloves. In your pocket.
I slipped on my gloves and finally surrendered my hand to Russ’s father. “Shy little thing, aren’t you,” Mr. Devereaux said, then chuckled. “Not used to that, coming from Russ’s friends.”
Russ was on his feet now and took my hand away from his dad. “So she’s shy,” he grumbled. “You didn’t come here to talk to my friends, so get out of their way.”
“Friends?” Mr. Devereaux asked. I didn’t like the laugh I heard in his voice. “From the way you two were sitting there, I’
d assumed something else entirely. Forgive your old man for being curious.”
My cheeks turned as red as my new hair color.
“Dad!” Russ snapped.
Mr. Devereaux laughed again and snatched the hat off my head. “Come on, honey, let’s have a good look at you.”
Russ stepped in front of me, but it didn’t matter, Mr. Devereaux was already gasping. Russ sighed and then gave my arm a tug. “Come on, you guys. Let’s get out of here.”
Mr. Devereaux put his hand on Russ’s shoulder before we could leave. “I won’t ask any questions,” he promised. “You’re right. I didn’t come here to see your friends.” He gave me another wary look and then shook his head as if to clear it. “I came to see you, and ask you to come home with me.”
“No,” Russ said flatly.
“Let me apologize.”
“You did.”
“Russ, please. You’re all I’ve got. I understand that I screwed up. You’ve sufficiently humbled me, son. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”
Mr. Devereaux looked truly repentant. He looked as if he missed his son a lot more than he’d admit to out loud. I doubted a person could fake that kind of emotion. I felt bad for him. Then I saw the look on Russ’s face and I felt awful for them both.
“You can’t make it up to me, Dad. And even if you could, I can’t come home right now. Things have changed.”
“You’re still my son.”
“But I think about more than just myself now. Grace has a plan to create balance between humans and supernaturals that actually has a chance to work. I’m staying here as long as she needs me.”
“Impossible,” Mr. Devereaux scoffed.
“It worked with me, didn’t it?” I asked quietly. “I’m very much human, and very much okay with the supernatural. If I can do for my dad what my friends did for me, he’ll accept it, too.”
“And why would that help?”
“Because he just got elected President of the United States,” Russ said smugly.
Mr. Devereaux looked startled again. He looked me over, considering, but eventually decided against the idea. “The council will never let you try it.”
“The council will never know,” Ethan growled. “The council doesn’t know about Grace, and they’re never going to.”
Mr. Devereaux turned his sharp gaze on Ethan then, as if just now taking notice of him. He kept his face so impassive that if his mannerisms were identical to the boy I’d recently spent so much time studying like a lovesick stalker, I would have missed the intrigue he was hiding.
“Careful,” Mr. Devereaux warned us all. “Getting on the council’s bad side isn’t exactly a picnic.”
“You would know,” Russ muttered.
“Which is exactly why I’m saying be careful.” He paused a second and then said, “You know, if you need any help, I’m never opposed to defying the council.”
“Yeah,” Russ snarled. “Let me guess. We can trust you, right?”
Mr. Devereaux sighed. “Yes, Russ. You can.” He glanced meaningfully in my direction. “With anything.”
“Sure.” Russ laughed. “Keep your phone close. We’ll call you sometime.”
. . . . .
Russ was so grumpy after seeing his dad that I almost made him go home. But then I got to my house and wouldn’t let him leave. I grabbed his hand for support and then jumped when Ethan took my other hand.
It was going to take some time to get used to sensitive, supportive, nice Ethan. I forced a small smile and squeezed his hand. Things between us may have been awkward, but I was still really glad he was there. He squeezed my hand back and the three of us went to face my father.
I found my dad in his office, asleep at his desk with the phone in his hand. I was surprised to see him looking so wrecked. I know he’s my father and all, but he’s kind of a machine. I expected a little more denial or detachment or something. Don’t get me wrong—I’m glad he cared enough about me to be worried—but seeing him such a mess was going to make what I was about to do a lot harder.
“Dad?”
I put my hand on his shoulder and he jumped to his feet before he was even fully awake. The minute he saw me, his eyes filled with tears. “Gracie,” he breathed, scooping me into a hug so tight I couldn’t breathe.
After a long minute, he set me back on my feet and looked me over. “Baby, you’ve lost so much weight,” he said, cupping my sunken cheeks in his hands. “And your hair…”
That made me cringe. Kool-Aid red had been Russ’s brilliant idea. So much for trusting a guy with fashion tips ever again.
“Are you okay?” Dad asked as if he was terrified of the answer.
I answered him honestly. “I’ve been better.”
“What happened? Let me call the police. They can meet us at the doctor.”
I took the phone from his hands. “No police. No doctors.”
“Gracie, what happened? Where have you been?”
I took a deep breath and then pulled a camera out of my coat pocket. It was Andrew’s camera, to be precise. I’d made the guys help me find it before we left the castle—before Russ burned the castle to the ground, really.
I handed the camera to my dad without a word. He seemed to understand what I wanted and turned on the power without being told. The pictures of him and Elizabeth were still on it. When he saw the first one, he dropped the device as if it had burned him. After a second, he picked it up and flipped through them over and over again, completely stunned.
“Andrew was blackmailing me,” I explained, and Dad dropped the camera again.
“He—Grace, I didn’t…How? I never…”
“It was the night of the dinner. I knew you didn’t remember. Andrew showed me these on election night and forced me to be his girlfriend.”
Dad’s face turned green, and it looked as if he might have swallowed back a bit of bile. “How could you not tell me about this?”
I’d promised myself I was going to do this calmly, and I managed to keep my voice at a reasonable volume, but I couldn’t help the moisture in my eyes. “I tried, Dad. I tried to get you to come home with me. I didn’t want to tell you what was going on in front of the whole world.”
“Gracie, I didn’t know.”
I took a deep breath. “No, Dad. You didn’t care,” I corrected him. “You saw me that night. I was hysterical. I told you I needed you. I begged you to come home with me.”
I had hurt his feelings. He shook his head, not knowing whether to feel bad or be angry. “I had no idea it was so important,” he said.
“You mean you had no idea it involved you. That’s the problem, Dad. Things are only important to you if they involve you. I was upset, you thought it didn’t concern you, and so you didn’t care enough to find out what was wrong.”
“Now hang on just a minute, Grace. That is a very unfair thing to say.” Finally I’d offended him enough to make him angry. He tried not to lose his temper, but he still began to shout. “So what? You were mad at me so you decided to run away—scare me half to death just to get my attention—is that it?”
It was getting harder and harder to stay calm, but Russ and Ethan were both still there, and they both took my hands again so I was able to keep going.
“No,” I said. “I forced myself to be his girlfriend. I played along for the TV cameras. I didn’t pull away when he put his arm around me. I kissed him when he made me.” The blood drained from my dad’s face. “I did it for you, Dad. I didn’t think you deserved it, but I couldn’t let him destroy your career.”
My dad didn’t have a comeback to that, and he didn’t feel like shouting anymore. He sank into his chair, looking a hundred years old.
“Luckily, I have people in my life that do care enough about me to pay attention. Russ and Ethan knew something was wrong, but when they got the truth out of me Andrew had kidnapped me before they could convince me to stand up to him. Andrew took me to Scandinavia, locked me up in the family castle, and started calling me his m
ate. That’s where I’ve been all this time. Ethan and Russ found me and got me out. They saved my life.”
For a minute I thought my dad was having a heart attack, but eventually he was able to speak again. “And you think I’m not going to call the cops?” he shouted. “Grace, he kidnapped you!” He picked up the phone again and when I took it from him, he finally lost it. “Give me that phone, Grace! I won’t let anyone get away with this!”
“No police, Dad. Trust me when I tell you that Andrew will never bother me again, and that you really, really don’t want to know. The truth of what happened will never go beyond Ethan, Russ, and myself. It’s better that way.”
“But, Grace—”
“Don’t worry. Your career’s safe.” I picked up the camera from the desk. “These are the only pictures. Andrew never made copies. He never even downloaded them onto his computer.”
“I don’t care about my career, Grace. I care about you!”
I shook my head. “You and I both know that isn’t true. But it’s okay. I forgive you. I understand you’re going to be the president. I know that’s important, and not just to you. This country needs you, Dad.”
My dad was surprised by the compliment. He started to say something, but I wasn’t finished. I needed to get this out while I had the guts. “You’re going to be a great president, Dad, but you’re a lousy father. You always have been.” Both Ethan and Russ stiffened with surprise. I ignored them. “I always loved you anyway. I still do. But I’m done taking your abuse. I’m finished letting you hurt me, and I’m not letting you control me anymore. You don’t know the first thing about me. You’ve never once put me before your career. You don’t know what I want, what I need, or what’s best for me, so I’m in charge of my life from now on.”
When I was finished, I felt an instant release of anxiety that I’d never known was there. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to get all that off my chest. The world was suddenly brighter, and the air was easier to breathe.
Everything I said was the truth. I was in control of my life now. No more pathetic Grace who let people like my father walk all over her. I was a new person, and suddenly my future felt hopeful.
