What the hell he was going to do about it, though, he couldn’t fathom. He’d let something precious slip through his fingers while he’d been so damned focused on why they couldn’t be together.
He missed Kara like he’d miss oxygen. He missed her crazy attitude and her smile. He missed her scent and her heat. He missed that she knew what he needed even before he did.
And if he was going to manage living a life here in London he wanted her to be in it. Somehow. In fact he couldn’t imagine another day without her. He just had to work out what to do about it.
* * *
Kara reached the top of the steps to her apartment and fitted the key into her lock. Looking back to the pavement below, she remembered the time Declan had dropped her off on his bike and the kiss they’d shared. Good times. Special times. Even now her skin prickled with awareness at the thought. Like some sort of sixth sense. He’d always had that effect on her—as if her body just knew when he was near.
In the distance she heard the distant purr of a motorbike. Her heart stalled as the awareness intensified.
Don’t be silly. There are plenty of motorbikes in London. For goodness’ sake, she couldn’t keep having that reaction to every motorbike sound. She’d be exhausted.
Kick-starting her foolish heart again, she turned the key and put one foot inside her apartment. The purr turned into a deep, throaty roar. Louder and louder.
It was the kind of roar that only one type of bike made—the kind of roar you recognised. Her stomach clenched.
Could it be?
Sure enough, at the end of the road she watched a shiny black and chrome bike turn the corner, then pull up at the kerb, with a rider who would not look out of place on the cover of a magazine. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be enough air to fill her lungs. When she did manage to inhale her breath was stuttering and sharp. Clutching her handbag strap, she felt her hand shake.
Dressed in black jeans and the old leather jacket that had definitely seen better days, but which she loved almost as much as the rider because it had saved his life, Declan looked dangerous and edgy. Far from his usual cool exterior. His eyes flashed with apprehension; a muscle twitched in his jaw. He didn’t smile.
What was he here for? Her mouth dropped open. She put a hand to it and resisted the temptation to run down the steps and throw her arms round his neck.
Instead of speaking he climbed the steps, put a finger to her lips and shook his head, closing off all conversation. Then he walked her to the pavement, pulled out a helmet from the top box and fastened it under her chin. His eyes glanced to her legs, to her ruby-red shoes. A flicker of heat warmed the apprehension.
As she climbed onto the back of the bike he took her hand and steadied her as he’d done before. A flash of electricity buzzed between them, making the hairs on her arms stand upright. It would never diminish, it seemed, this attraction, this connection. Even when her heart was broken, when her head knew things could never work out, some parts of her body just would not give up on him.
She wanted to ask him where the hell they were going. What he was doing there so late at night. She wanted to believe this was what she hoped it might be. But as she slid her arms around the body she now knew so well and had ached so much to touch she reminded herself that this was not going to be what she wanted. That she must try to stay detached... But how could she when she was glued to him on a powerful motorbike?
There must be an emergency, a problem, something serious to do with work, his family. Because why else would he be here?
Resting her head against his back, she clung on to that thought as they sped through the dark streets of London. Faster and faster they flew, the cool autumn wind blowing her hair around her face. And still she didn’t know where they were headed, or why. But she knew that for these few minutes she would hold on to some kind of hope.
Soon enough they reached the riverbank. Now, in the dark, it had a different feel to it. Down in the houseboats someone was playing a slow soft tune as yellow lights danced across the water. Different, but equally beautiful. Like Declan. He’d changed. Thinner, maybe. His cheeks had hollowed out a little, making his cheekbones even more sleek and sharp. Guarded, but alert, his eyes danced along with the lights.
He lifted her off the bike and threw his helmet onto the grass. Then he pulled hers off too and his hands were cupping her face, in her hair, pulling her closer until his lips met hers and she couldn’t help but melt into his kiss.
So it was indeed something serious. At his touch her body went into overdrive. She’d missed this so much. Missed this closeness, his smell. He tasted of fresh air. Of love. Of a future.
She’d been there before. It had failed spectacularly.
Her heart beat loud and slow against her ribcage. She put her hands on his chest and pulled away. ‘Stop...stop. We can’t do this. I’m sorry. I need to go. We need to go.’
‘No...I have to tell you something.’
He walked her along the path where the scent of sweet aniseed herbs filled the air. Around them the breeze dropped, as did the music. And as they left the busyness behind it felt as if they were the only two people in this city of eight million.
He stopped and turned to face her. ‘I’ve been a prize idiot, Kara. I let you walk away from me and I know I shouldn’t have. I really should have told you how I felt.’
Her heart seized at his words. Part ecstasy, part regret. ‘In what way? Felt?’
‘Feel. How I feel about you. I was hurt badly when my dad left, and I saw what love can do to a person when it isn’t returned. It can eat away at every part of you. Can make you mistrust, make you question yourself, your worth. It stripped away my ability to risk loving someone else. So I tried hard not to care. I used it all as an excuse not to get involved and give any part of myself away and it worked fine for years.’
‘I know.’
‘But then I met you and everything changed. My life changed. And the lives of those around me.’
He stepped back and gave her a cautious smile that reached to the bottom of her heart and spread to every corner.
‘I love you, Kara. More than anything. And I want some kind of a future with you—’
‘Shh. Stop. I can’t.’ There—she’d said it. ‘I just can’t.’ Then she turned and stumbled across the grass, headed who knew where, blinking back tears. Why had she let him bring her here to say these things only to break her heart a little more? ‘Just go and find someone else to fall in love with, okay? Because I can’t do this.’
‘Hey, we can do anything we want.’ He tugged her arm and pulled her round, seriousness etched across his face. ‘I know you’re scared. Hell, I am too. I’ve never done this before...and I know I’m making a huge mess of it right now. But it’s from my heart, Kara. We can work things out together. Just the two of us. We can carve our own space. We belong together.’
‘No. I can’t, Declan.’ Her heart shattering, she dragged her wrists from his hands. Belong? How much had she ached for that all her life? And now she’d found it, it was beyond her grasp. ‘I’m so scared things will change. That we’ll get all wrapped up in this bit and not see the end hit us. I couldn’t bear it if you fell out of love with me. If I’m not enough for you.’
‘You don’t think you’re enough?’ He tipped back his head and laughed. ‘Kara, you’re more than enough for any man. And certainly perfect for me.’ He was reaching into his jacket pocket now. ‘Is that why you retreated that day we left my mam’s?’
‘Because I fell in love with you, Declan. Despite how much I tried not to. You and your damned lovely family won me over. I didn’t know what to do after we’d made love. I was so confused. It changed everything—it changed my heart.’
She touched her chest and felt her heart beating a crazy rhythm. Fast and shallow.
‘But we’d both agreed there
couldn’t be more. And you didn’t exactly make me feel like you wanted more. I don’t want to say yes if it’ll end in a few years. I can’t take that risk. I can’t do that again. Not with you. I love you too much.’
He palmed her cheek with his hand and looked deep into her eyes. Never had she seen such passion. True. Stark. Raw.
‘Oh, my God, Kara, you think that if something doesn’t work I’ll chuck it aside? Get a replacement wife and family? If I promise you one thing it is this—I will be there for you, whatever happens. To love and cherish. In sickness and health. Those vows mean something to me too. I am not my father.’
‘No. No, you’re not.’
When he hadn’t contacted her she’d branded him with the same attributes her husband had had: shallow and selfish. But Declan wasn’t like that. He’d shown loyalty and belief and strength to everyone around him. And now he was offering that to her too. It had taken him a bit longer than she’d hoped. But he’d done it. And she didn’t doubt his sincerity now. Or his love. Because she could see that in his smile, in his eyes.
‘Right now I have something to ask you.’ He lowered one knee onto the grass and pulled out a small box, revealing a stunning emerald ring. ‘Kara, I love you with all my heart. I don’t want to imagine another day without you in my life. Would you do me the honour of being my wife?’
‘Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is beautiful.’
Tears pricked her eyes. She pressed her hand against her mouth to stop her lips from wobbling but she couldn’t. Couldn’t breathe or speak. He loved her. Her. And she loved him right back.
‘It was my grandmother’s. One of the only things we salvaged from the fire. I want you to have it. Mammy wants you to have it. Naimh says she’ll kill you if you don’t. The whole damned clan want— You get the picture. Please say yes. Or I’ll be in a whole lot of bother.’
‘Say it again.’
‘What?’
‘The whole proposal thing...’ Her throat ached. ‘I just love that accent. It makes my heart go diddly-diddly. Go on, say it again...please.’
He shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t angry. He was happy. Very happy indeed. ‘Kara, I love you with all my—’
Stamping her feet and clapping, she squeaked, tugging at his shoulder. It seemed that once the right someone came along you knew. You just knew. ‘Yes! Yes! I will marry you. Yes! Now, get up and come here.’
‘Aww. Give me a minute...’
His hand was on her ankle, his fingers running tiny circles around her foot, up her leg. Heat shot through her as he found that point...yes, there...that made her shiver with need.
‘Now, these are very fine shoes. How about we take a very quick drive home so I can spend a little time getting to know them...?’
‘You want me to definitely leave them on this time?’
‘Hell, yes.’
She knelt down next to him, looking forward to getting to know him a lot better too. As he smiled at her she reached out and touched his beautiful face, ran her finger down his cheek until it met his mouth.
Then she leaned in close and whispered, ‘Kiss me.’
* * * * *
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ISBN-13: 9781460335581
200 HARLEY STREET: THE SHAMELESS MAVERICK
Copyright © 2014 by Harlequin Books S.A.
Special thanks and acknowledgment are given to Louisa George for her contribution to the 200 Harley Street series.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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