No.
I slapped a hand over my mouth and shook my head.
Sage smoothed my hair back. “It’s all right. This is part of who you are.”
My breath was coming fast, hunger warring with disgust. My eyes pricked, and Sage’s face blurred. I’d fed off Elias in a fever. It had been quick and distant and forgotten. I’d filed it away as a one-off, as an incident, but this … This hunger was present and real and there was no fever to hide behind.
“I don’t want this.” My words were distorted and thick. My speech warped by the fangs that dominated my mouth.
“You need to accept who you are. You need to feed before the hunger forces you to hurt someone.”
I gazed at his beautiful face. “And you drew the short straw.”
His smile was tentative and almost shy. “No, Eva. I volunteered.”
My words dried up.
He shrugged. “I may be in a human host, but my djinn essence saturates the blood with potency, and the host is agreeable. It should sustain you for a while.”
For a while? Because I’d need to feed again. The thought was bothersome on a purely mental level, but physiologically it was a different ballgame. My Fang and Vladul genes were affecting my composition, because the thought of sinking my teeth into his jugular sent a thrill to my most intimate places.
I opened my mouth to protest, to tell him no, but my hand was on the nape of his neck before I could check myself. Sage leaned in without question, and my heart lurched in anticipation for what was to come, for his generosity and for the blood.
“Take what you need, Habibata. Just let go and ride it.”
I closed my eyes and inhaled every delicious atom that was his aroma. My brain fired commands, and suddenly he was on the bed, beneath me, and my mouth was on his throat. What was I doing? What … His blood rushed through his veins, audible to me now. It flooded my senses, and then there was nothing but the give of his flesh and the hot, potent gush of his blood into my mouth.
It filled me, completed me, and there was only the wondrous thud of his heart—a symphony to my ears. Mine. He was mine.
“Eva …”
His voice was a husky caress, his body molding to mine. The blood hunger was sated by the fiery honey that was his blood, but another hunger had risen, one that throbbed in my loins and tightened my nipples. My fangs retracted into my gums and my mouth was on his, tongue deep, as I claimed him. His hands cupped my arse and kneaded as the kiss deepened, violent and unchecked. Heat climbed up my body, crawling over my scalp and kissing my lips before seeping into him.
He was hard and ready, and God, I wanted him so bad. I reached between us without breaking the kiss to unbuckle his jeans, eager to free him, to feel his velvet steel against the palm of my hand. To feel that tell-tale wetness at the head of his arousal. I wanted to taste it, to take him deep into my mouth. I tore my mouth from his and slid down his body, tugging his shirt up to run my hands over his washboard abs, to delight in the ridges and the valley of a body carved in stone. His arousal throbbed in my hand, ready and eager for my mouth.
His hand tangled in my hair, and he hauled me up. “No. Not here. Not like this.”
I groaned and slumped against him, burying my head in the crook of his shoulder. “You feel so good.”
His hand slid up my back, over my nape, and into my hair; he cupped the back of my head, caressing my scalp with one huge hand.
“You have no idea how hard this is.”
I squirmed against him. “I can feel exactly how hard it is.”
He chuckled low and sexy. The sound vibrated through me, and a safe, warm feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.
“Eva, believe me, I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted a woman before, but it wouldn’t be fair to my host body.”
Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I sat up, staring down into his face. “There’s someone else here.”
He winced and nodded. “And although he is enjoying the sensations, it doesn’t feel right. Once this is over, once the balance is restored, things will be different.”
“How?”
He stroked my cheek. “We are forced to take human hosts when we wish to affect our surroundings for long periods of time. But when the way into the djinn realm was open, we didn’t need to. We could solidify for short periods. A day at a time, drawing on the arcane power from our realm, relying on our connection to our world. But with the djinn realm closed, we were forced to take human hosts.”
“You think they’ll come back? The djinn?”
“I know they will. Once this world is safe from infection, they will return, and then … we will be together. Once all this is over, we won’t be leaving this bed for a whole day. A day where I will be completely me.” He kissed my forehead and rolled me gently off him, tucking me into his side.
I’d begun to think of this body as his. If he wanted to, he could have ignored the host’s consciousness and taken what he wanted; the fact that he hadn’t showed how honorable he was. It made me want him and love him more.
I snuggled into him. “You best fill me in on what’s happened over the last twelve hours.”
He laughed. “I love the way you can switch from sexy to business in a matter of seconds.” He drew a breath. “Let me see …” His brows shot up. “Ah, yes, we have a little twist in our tale, a possible advantage.”
“What?”
Elias met Noah, and let’s just say it was a rough introduction, especially because Elias thought Noah was Malcolm, the leader of the Vladul. He thought Malcolm had infiltrated the bunker.”
“What? Why in the world would he think that?”
But even as I said the words my brain was finding the answers and making the connections. Noah had been born fully grown. Never been a child. He had the Vladul gene, pure and primal.
“Oh, fuck, Noah’s got Malcolm’s genes, hasn’t he?”
“More than that, he’s a clone of Malcolm. The only difference is they added Fang and Claw genes.”
I propped myself up on an elbow and looked down at Sage. “We have our own Malcolm.”
Sage nodded. “That’s the conclusion Elias came to once he’d calmed down and realized Noah wasn’t his evil leader. Apparently, Malcolm has silver hair, so we’d have to dye Noah’s hair and make a few adjustments, but then we can walk him into the Foundation and get past the first level of security.”
I slumped back onto the bed. “We can do this.”
“Yes, Eva, we can. All we need now is the numbers to overwhelm Malcolm’s forces once we get inside and disable the security measures.”
We could really do this, get the cure to all the people and end the devastation. I snuggled closer. “What else?”
“Let me see. Ah, yes, the humans are settled, and Jamie has taken over the tiny lab. He didn’t look impressed with the equipment on offer. Elias and Noah seem to have hit it off after the initial shock; they’re working on linking up to the satellites to get the images we need to find the thinning.” He paused and turned his head to press a kiss to my crown. “I don’t suppose you had a chance to speak to Elias yet?”
Unease fluttered in my stomach and my dream flitted into my mind. Had it been just a dream?
“Eva?”
“No. I just … I’m not sure what I feel when it comes to Elias. It’s as if another part of me wakes up when he’s around. One that I don’t fully know or understand. It scares me. It’s so … alien.”
“In that case, make the time to know that part of you. Once this is all over, spend time with him. You shared blood, and that isn’t something that can be taken back. Not without causing pain … to both of you.”
“You’re speaking as if I’m going to survive.”
The words were out before I could quell them, and with them came the reality check I’d been successfully avoiding. I closed my eyes, allowing the despair to have its moment. To wash over me and be done.
His grip on me tightened. “If we have plans, if we have hope, then deat
h will just have to wait.”
But time was running out for me, and death was breathing down my neck, and as lovely and fluffy as my sojourn into dreamland had been, and as comforting as it was to talk about after, about what we’d do in a cured world, there was no running from reality. No escaping cold, hard facts. The Genesis Foundation and a cure for my condition was a big fat maybe. It was a prayer and a wish. But Tobias was waiting to be liberated, and if I did nothing else before I died, I had to at least free him.
“Eva.” Sage turned his head to look at me, his face a frown. “We will get that cure out.”
“I know.”
“Not only that, we will find Tobias. We will find a way to bring him back to you. I promise you.” He swallowed. “You will not die. Not if we can stop it.”
Sweet words, but there were no guarantees. The realist in me knew that, and damn did it hurt to accept that possibility, but it was better than the crushing disappointment of false hope.
False hope that I may live.
False hope that Tobias would be restored.
The only real hope we had was delivering this cure. Everything else was a bonus.
I tried to sit up. “We should go help Noah and Elias.”
Sage tugged me back down, wrapping me in his powerful arms. “Let’s just stay like this for a few more moments. Once we open that door, once we walk outside, the fight begins once more.”
My gut tightened in apprehension. “Just one moment then.”
My stomach was rumbling for actual food by the time we left the room. Sage led me to the kitchens, a tiny space I hadn’t had the pleasure of using before. This had been Gina’s domain, but the human was now locked up in containment until we managed to synthesize more of the cure.
It was a tidy space, and even in her Feral state, she’d left it untouched. The claw marks had been her talon marks; the torn sofas, the busted lights—all Gina. It made sense now. According to Sage, as soon as Noah had been bitten, he’d locked down the bunker and sealed himself in containment.
Sage pulled out a seat for me—an orange plastic affair molded to perfection. My butt had barely kissed the seat when awareness skittered over my skin. My muscles tensed. I didn’t need to turn around to know who had just entered the room. The unease that tickled the area of my skull just above the nape of my neck told me it was the Vladul.
“I’ll come back later,” Elias said.
“No.” Sage pressed a hand to my shoulder and squeezed gently. “I have some stuff to do. Maybe you can find Eva something to snack on?”
Elias was silent, and my pulse fluttered because Sage was about to leave me alone with Elias. Shit, why was my body reacting like this? Why did I want to flee and attack him at the same time?
Sage kissed the top of my head and then strode out of the room. Elias walked into my line of sight. He began opening cupboards and studying the neatly labeled tins. He’d donned the black pants and shirt that were standard in these government bunkers, and his pale skin and hair stood out starkly against them.
“I know I’m the last person you want to be alone with,” he said, his tone clipped. “But you do need to eat something.” He cleared his throat. “The others will probably need to feed soon. Jamie will be drawing blood from you.”
Yes, how could I forget. I was still the Fangs’ source of sustenance. I was still, essentially, human.
“What about you? Won’t you need to feed?”
He paused, hand hovering above a tin. “Are you offering?”
Moths spawned inside my chest, beating their black wings too fast. “If Jamie is taking blood, then …”
He looked over his shoulder. “I’d much rather drink from the vein.”
A shudder, part fear and part desire, shook me. “Tough.”
He smiled, a slash of the mouth, a wicked thing, and turned his attention to the cupboard.
“We have baked beans?” Elias held up a tin. “Or there’s rice pudding?”
How had we gone from feeding from the vein to pudding? My stomach grumbled. “I’ll take the pudding.”
He searched for a can opener and set to work cracking the tin open. Sage had left us alone for a reason, but where to start? What to say? His shirt hugged his shoulders and the muscles beneath rippled enticingly. I’d touched him there. I’d touched him everywhere. I’d had him inside me, rough hands and thrusts and moans.
He tensed and exhaled slowly, and the images in my head dissipated.
He placed the tin in front of me, his jaw tight, and popped a spoon in it. This was so ridiculous. I could have done that myself—opened a fucking tin of rice pudding. I shook my head.
“What is it?” Elias asked.
I finally lifted my chin to look him directly in the face. “I’m sorry.”
He pressed his lips together. “For what? For fucking me?”
Oh, shit. “No. I’m not sorry for that. I wanted you ...” A shiver ran over my skin. “I still want you.”
“I know. You just don’t want to want me.” He pulled out a seat and sat down. The terse lines of his face softened a fraction. “I can feel your struggle, Eva. It was never my intention to put you in this position. I should never have shared blood with you. It wasn’t fair, especially since you didn’t understand what it meant. You weren’t yourself, but in that moment, I didn’t give a damn. I wanted you, and I allowed things to play out.”
“And what does the blood sharing mean?”
He stared at me levelly. “You know what it means. You’ve been in my head. In my thoughts. I felt you earlier.”
The dream … It had been real? My neck heated. “So, it’s like a psychic bond?”
“You could call it that.”
Wait, if I’d been in his head, had he—
He watched me with narrowed eyes. “You were with Sage earlier.” His lips turned up, but there was no warmth in the action. “Very colorful.”
Oh, man. I cleared my throat. “I don’t like this.”
“Yes, well, it wasn’t fun for me either. Vladul don’t share mates, but this world is different. The rules, the norms are different.”
Mates? “We aren’t mates, Elias. Far from it.”
He clenched his jaw. “We shared blood, Eva. It’s a mate thing whether we like it or not.”
Panic closed around my throat, because despite the attraction, we were nowhere near there. “Well, we need to switch it off.”
His expression smoothed of all emotion, and he fixed his gaze on a point over my shoulder. “It can’t be switched off.” He said the words with a lilt of derision. “But it can be weakened. I understand I’m not someone you want in your life romantically. I’m not Ash or Sage or even Logan. We can keep our distance, and if we don’t share blood again, then eventually the bond will die. And we’ll both be free.”
Sage’s warning came to mind. “But there’ll be pain.”
He shrugged.
I studied him, the sharp angles of his face, the dark lashes, and the curve of his cruel but beautiful mouth. The urge to run my fingers through his silver hair assaulted me. I clenched my hands into fists under the table. Could he feel that? Did he know what I was thinking? That I wanted to be with him again, to feel him inside me, to feel his mouth on mine, his tongue rasping against mine. I maintained eye contact as the thoughts, the images, went through my mind.
His eyes widened slightly. “Dammit, Eva. Make up your fucking mind.”
I broke eye contact. “I don’t know why I did that.”
No. That was a lie. I did know. I’d done it because it felt good. It made me feel powerful, and there was a part of me that reveled in the power.
It was time to make some admissions. “What happened between us in the cave was a choice. I was in a frenzy, yes, but I chose to submit to it. Part of me wanted to ride it, to be with you. To taste the power and the violence, but I guess I wanted to be able to step back afterward and claim loss of control. I did that, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like it didn’t matt
er, that what happened between us didn’t mean anything … I’m sorry I handled it so badly.” I held up my hand. “But I don’t like you being in my head, and I don’t want to be in yours.”
His shoulders sagged, and he hung his head. “I admire your honesty.”
I snorted. “Better late than never, right?”
I got up and walked around the table to the cupboard. There were several more tins of pudding. I picked one at random, opened it, and handed it to Elias.
“Do Vladul need regular food?”
He studied the pudding. “Yes. We eat.”
I handed him a spoon. “Eat with me.”
We scooped and chewed in silence for long minutes. The pudding was thick and creamy and filled a hole in my stomach, and as we ate, the unease, the tension melted away and we were just two people sharing a meal in a kitchen.
I finished first and sat back. “I’d like to get to know you better … once this is all over. But I want to learn about you by asking you questions, by spending time with you, not by being in your head. There’s no denying I’m attracted to you, that there’s a big part of me that wants you, and I need to understand that and make peace with it.”
His violet eyes fixed on my face. “I want you, Eva. With or without the blood sharing.”
Heat shot through me to settle low in my abdomen. I cleared my throat. “Okay, maybe stop looking at me like that.”
He smiled and broke eye contact. But then his expression grew somber.
“What is it?”
“There’s something more I need from you.”
A prickle of foreboding ran across my skin. “What?”
“Do you remember I told you that you had a royal gene?”
I nodded.
“The Vladul were a matriarchal society. Until Malcolm upset the balance, we always had a queen. Now the royals are all dead aside from you and me, but if the Vladul realize a royal female is alive … If they see you, then even the ones under Malcolm’s sway may be willing to join the resistance. To fight alongside us.”
He wanted me to be a figurehead. Someone he could rally his troops under. “I’m not Vladul, Elias. I’m a chimera. A dying chimera. How cheated would your people be if they found that out?”
For the Reign Page 7
