“One of those reasons is because she’d never subject anyone she loves to their hate, but there are plenty of other issues that keep her away from them. I’ve been best friends with her almost my whole life, and she and I don’t even go visit her family together. They wouldn’t even let me inside when I was a child, so they sure wouldn’t now. They’ve never approved of us being friends, and she doesn’t see them unless she absolutely has to.”
He nods, effectively shutting me up, but I can tell my attempt to reassure him was in vain.
“Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Daisy. Seriously. But I just feel this is something we need to face together. If she can’t face ridicule from her family, the people she knows inside and out, how can I trust she’ll be able to face the world by my side?”
“Kevin, I don’t think she understands that’s where you’re coming from with your request. Maybe if you explain it to her, exactly as you just did to me, she’ll get it. You have a valid point, and I don’t believe for a second she’d let you keep hurting if she knew how to fix it.” I squeeze his hand, silently urging him to look up at me and acknowledge what my words.
“You’re right. I know you are. She and I are both hard-headed and hell-bent to have our own way. Never a dull moment, right?” A smile brightens his face, so I know at least his agreement is genuine.
“I’m afraid you’re doomed to a lifetime of no dull moments with her, Kevin.” I wink and smile, hoping to help lift his spirits the way he did mine.
“You know, you’re in the same sinking ship with me, right? You have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You hold Juliana’s life in your hands. You have Rod’s baby growing in your body. And you have to give up one to save the other. That’s an impossible choice, Daisy. If there’s anything else I can do to help, it’s giving you my support no matter what you choose.”
“Are you crazy? You’re not giving up your baby for me. That’s not even up for discussion.”
Kevin and I whirl around at the same time to find Juliana standing in the doorway. Her face is beet red, her eyes are open wide, and her nostrils flare with every breath. She cuts her gaze between the two of us. She slowly shakes her head from side to side as her brows furrow and her hands clench into fists.
“Jules, you have to hear the whole story. Today is not the time, though.”
“I heard the whole story, Daisy. I’ve been standing here for a few minutes now. Sorry to eavesdrop, that wasn’t my intention at first. I started to walk away when I realized this was a private conversation, but I stopped when you mentioned the bone marrow match. Believe me when I say, I can hold on and continue my chemotherapy while you’re pregnant. Knowing there’s a ray of hope at the end of the journey is enough to maintain me. You will not give up my niece or nephew to give me your bone marrow though. If you do, I won’t accept it. If you think Rod is stubborn, you haven’t seen obstinate yet.”
She starts to sway, already unsteady on her feet after a few minutes, so Kevin and I rush to help her to the table. “Jules, are you sure you’ll be okay? We’re talking six months or so before I can donate.”
“Yes, I’m sure. As soon as we get back to Atlanta, I’ll start my treatments again, so this doesn’t progress any further. When you tell Rod about the baby, don’t give even him the option of terminating the pregnancy. You can tell him you’re a match and can donate after delivery, because that’s all that matters. There’s nothing else you need to discuss with him about that part.”
“Jules…” I want to shake her and say how much Isa needs her mother. I want to remind her how she felt growing up with Rod as her mother and father, regardless of how much he did for her. I want her to know Isa’s childhood doesn’t have to be filled with the sadness of losing her mother at such a young age.
But I don’t say any of that, because anything I could possibly say, and more, is already in her eyes. She knows the risks and the toll she faces. She understands the pros and cons better than anyone here could ever imagine. She accepts she doesn’t have full control of her fate along with the very real possibility she’ll face an early death. But her spine doesn’t waver, and her stare doesn’t falter. She faces both living and dying with the same inner grace that inherently draws people to her.
Over the last few days, my parents have fallen in love with her and adopted her as my sister. I’m not complaining in the least.
“Daisy, I never thought I’d have a niece or nephew. Don’t you dare even consider taking this dream come true away from me. But don’t worry, Rod won’t hear about this from me. It’s your news to tell him whenever you’re ready.”
Mom shuffles into the kitchen, giving us an obvious side-eye before glancing at the clock. “Did you three stay up all night? No one ever beats me out of bed in the mornings.”
“We slept. Apparently, not long enough though. Maybe we’re all excited about Christmas and ready to open presents.” I shrug then wrap my arms around my mom. I’ve been away from her too long.
“You and your sister are just big kids.” She laughs and pats my arm. “I caught her snooping under the tree last night, even though she knows we only buy for the younger kids.”
“Hey, did you tell everyone about the Santa Rod hired coming tonight?”
“Yes, sweetheart, I did. How could I forget? Your father wants our pictures taken with him too. He says he missed out on that when he was a kid, so he’s making up for lost time now.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Rod wants his picture taken with Santa in case he has to use it to keep Isa in line while Jules is in the hospital. I think he’s secretly afraid of a five-year-old little girl.”
“Speaking of that little girl, I think I’ll go snuggle with her while she’s still asleep and get a short catnap myself.” Jules assures us she’ll come back down for breakfast soon, but I can’t stop the dread that fills my heart.
“Rod will soon learn that being a full-time parent is very different from being a part-time uncle, even though he’s been heavily involved in Isa’s life. He’s been her father-figure, but he’s also had the luxury of being perceived as the fun adult. He may find it much more difficult when he has to correct or discipline her.” Mom turns to give me her full attention and ensures she has mine. “You know, you should prepare yourself too, Daisy. I’m afraid he’ll need you in ways he’s never dreamed of in the very near future.”
“Helping him with Isa will be a piece of cake, I can handle that. But I can’t even think about what’ll happen if the treatment doesn’t help Jules. Rod and Isa adore her, and I do too.”
“We love her too. Your father and I told her she’s ours now, the same as we did Tracy. We’ll support all of you as much as we can during her illness, but I worry about you most of all. You give so much, carry the burdens alone, and don’t ask for enough in return. Just be sure you take care of yourself and don’t allow your needs to be put on the back burner with everything else going on around you.”
“I won’t, and I’m sure you’ll be checking up on me to make sure I don’t.” I kiss her cheek and lay my head on her shoulder. “Can I just stay here and go back to being a little kid? Being an adult sucks.”
Mom laughs and nods. “Yes, it does, sweetheart. But I think there’s too much water under that bridge for you to go back to your childhood now.”
“I’m going upstairs to wake Rod for breakfast. I’ll never hear the end of it if he misses out on the pancakes.” I give her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving, appreciating how she’s always supported me in more ways than I can count.
With every step I climb, the early morning conversation replays in my mind. I could kick myself for not being more careful and realizing Jules was standing there. That wasn’t how I wanted to tell her about any of this—the match, the baby, the possibilities. I certainly didn’t want an audience involved to inflict any undue pressure and sway her opinion.
When I crack open the door, I find Rod is still fast asleep. Even with bed hair and in such a deep slee
p he’s nearly comatose, he’s still the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. I kneel beside the bed and gently stroke his hair, pulling and twirling it between my fingers. Without opening his eyes, he slides his hands around my back and pulls me on top of him. A low moan of approval rumbles through his chest as he holds me close, making me melt into him even more.
“There you are. You left me. You’re never allowed to leave my bed again. Now that I have you, I’m never letting go.”
“I think I can entice you into changing your mind about that.”
“Never. There’s nothing I’d rather have than you in my arms. Everything else comes in at a very distant second place.” He tightens his hold to emphasize his point.
“Mom’s making pancakes.”
He opens one squinty eye and arches his eyebrow. I nod exaggeratedly, knowing he’s weighing his options right now. “Tempting, but no. As delicious as her cooking is, I can’t let you go because I may never get you back again.”
Suddenly, I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing anymore.
“Where’s this coming from, Rod?”
He opens both eyes, rubs my back, and a painted expression crosses his face. “I have a confession to make. The only reason I haven’t said anything is because it’s Christmas week and I didn’t want to ruin your holiday. But after convincing you I’m not that selfish prick from the island, I don’t feel right keeping it from you, even a few more days.”
“All right… I’m listening.” Every worse-case scenario I can imagine flies through my thoughts at light speed.
“If you’re interested in pressing charges, I can find out who raped you. The statute of limitations in Georgia is fifteen years. You certainly have DNA evidence, and you have witnesses who will testify on your behalf. Juliana’s best friend was in the car with us that night. She wasn’t drugged, and neither was I.”
That was definitely not what I expected him to say. I roll over to the side and sit on the bed facing him with my legs crossed while he adjusts to lean his back against the headboard.
Do I want to know who my attacker is?
Do I want a name and a face to fill in the holes and blurry spots from that horrible night?
What if knowing makes the memories and nightmares worse?
“Rod, I don’t know what to say. There’s a lot to consider—how this will affect Landen, if I can deal with it… I mean, you know how our world is today. I’ll be on trial as much as he is. What did I do to provoke it? What did I do to stop it? How much did I have to drink that night? Why was I drinking underage? How many sexual partners have I had?”
Does your current lover know you’re pregnant with his child? Will you also accuse him of rape seven years from now?
“I understand this is a lot, and I’m sorry to drop it on you today. I promised to be honest with you, and I wasn’t living up to that promise by keeping this information from you. Take your time to think about it, babe. You don’t have to make any decisions today. But I want to make one thing crystal clear. Whatever course you decide to take, you have my full support. No one else can say what’s best for you and your situation. You’ll never face it alone though. If you want to nail this guy’s balls to the wall, I’ll gladly wield the hammer.”
His attempt to add levity to the conversation is just what I need. He makes me smile even during dismal situations. “Thank you, Rod. I may take you up on that, but let me think about it first. I need to weigh the benefits and costs to my sanity. I also have to try to figure out how it’ll affect Landen, most of all.”
“So, you’re not upset with me for bringing it up today?” He lifts both eyebrows, showing the vulnerability in his eyes.
“No, I’m not mad at you in the least. You’re only trying to help and do what’s right.”
“Good. Now, as I recall, you mentioned something about pancakes…”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Rod
As I descend the stairs, hints of lingering vanilla and freshly baked cake topped with hot maple syrup assail my nostrils. Those heavenly circles of fluffed batter call my name, loud and clear. Fresh, crisp bacon sizzles, the aroma mixing with the pancakes, and makes my mouth water.
“Slow down, Rod.” Daisy laughs from behind me. “If I trip and fall, I don’t want to be dragged to the kitchen behind you.”
“Keep up, woman.” I tighten my grip on her hand. “Kevin will eat the last pancake without giving me a second thought.”
“Who are you kidding, Rod? I haven’t thought about you at all. The last pancake is mine.” Kevin lifts his fork toward the serving plate, positioned to stab the entire stack of deliciousness waiting there, so I snatch the plate off the table on my way past him. “Hey!”
“You snooze, you lose. The rest of the plate is mine!”
Chelle chuckles to herself then plays peaceful mediator between us. “There are plenty more where those came from, boys. No fighting at the table.”
“You got in trouble. You’re not Mom’s favorite.” Kevin smirks and stuffs a huge bite into his mouth.
“You wish, loser. Mom and I are like this.” I cross my fingers and hold them up in Kevin’s face. He only smiles wider.
“You’re both shit out of luck. I’m Mom’s favorite, and we all know it.” Juliana sits between Marlee and me, steals two pancakes from my plate and a few pieces of bacon from Kevin’s. “Do either of you have anything else to say?”
“No,” we mumble simultaneously, and laughter breaks out around the table. Everyone we know loves Juliana more than either of us. That’s a given.
“I’m just glad you all realize Brian and I have adopted you as our own kids. That makes it a little less awkward when we introduce you as our daughter or son. Or when we have to scold you for being bad.” Chelle winks in jest, but I sense an underlying hint of truth to her words. She’ll put us in our place if needed, but she’ll do it with all the love she has inside her.
It’s a good feeling, belonging to a family that cares enough to set me straight when I need it. When I glance at Juliana, I see the same desire to belong shining in her eyes. The family we’ve missed out on all these years surrounds us. I don’t think either of us could walk away from Daisy or her family now.
Strange how a short time with the right person so quickly changed the perspective I’ve held on to for most of my life.
One look at Daisy as she helps Landen and Isabelle with their plates, and I know she has my heart. The difference now is my feelings for her don’t make me want to run away. If anything, I only want to run to her even more. Something is holding me back from verbalizing my feelings though. I haven’t quite put my finger on what that reason is yet, but my hesitancy to speak the words is troubling.
“When are you going to tell her?” Juliana keeps her voice low as she nudges me with her elbow.
“Tell who what?” My obvious confusion only makes her roll her eyes.
“When are you going to tell Daisy you love her?”
Even though she’s whispering in a room full of loud and boisterous people, I feel as if a spotlight is shining directly down on me. I glance around the room and note the multiple conversations occurring at once. A nervous twitch settles in my eye and swallowing suddenly becomes a challenge. No one is paying the least bit of attention to me… except my little sister.
“Um… I, uh… What?”
“You’re not fooling me, Rod. I know you a hundred times better than you think I do.” She reaches for the scrambled eggs and scoops some onto her plate as if we’re having a normal conversation. “If you don’t move past what Dad did to us all those years ago, you’ll never be happy.”
The anvil dropping on the coyote’s head couldn’t be a more perfect analogy of how her words struck me out of the blue. My silence only confirms her assumption is correct, and she knows it. She arches one eyebrow when she meets my dumbfounded expression, then a smug grin covers her face.
It’s good to see her smiling, even if it’s at my expense and regarding a topic I’
d rather not discuss. Ever.
But I can’t deny she’s hit the nail on the head.
Chris Stone caused so much pain and suffering when I was a young teenager, I’ve actively and aggressively avoided forming attachments with anyone outside of my little family. When he walked out on us forever after taking the time to say those three words to each of us, love became a fairytale and life molded me into too much of a realist.
Until a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty caught me in her spell. She makes me want to believe in the fantasy world.
We’ve both suffered at the hands of others, but her inner strength amazes me. She’s been honest and shared information with me others would’ve kept to themselves. Her generosity and fortitude push me to share with her what I haven’t given another living soul outside of my close-knit group.
My trust.
My respect.
My love.
There it is, on the tip of my tongue, daring me to blurt it out in front of everyone. The image of her deer-in-the-headlights reaction nearly makes me laugh out loud. I know her feelings for me are strong or she wouldn’t have forgiven all my idiotic mistakes. She has a generous nature, a loving heart, and a kind spirit. She’s the only woman I can see spending the rest of my life with, and that’s something I’ve never even considered before now.
Before her.
Chris Stone has been standing in the way of my happiness, in more than one way, for far too long. He stole my childhood, deserted my mom and sister when they needed him most, and left us all to navigate life’s rough roads alone. But as I glance around the table, listening to the people I love the most talking and laughing, an unsettling truth about myself hits me.
Something I’ve strived to prevent has happened, despite my best attempts otherwise. I’ve become my father. Maybe not in the same light I usually paint him in, but in many other ways every bit as detrimental. I’ve kept everyone at arm’s length to protect my feelings. In doing that, I’ve missed so many beautiful moments in my life. That era has come to an end.
All I Need: Rod & Daisy (All Of Me Duet Book 2) Page 11
