by Lex Martin
But Angela? Angela worries me.
Her grabbing my files the other day and flipping through them freaked me out. Not wanting to add to Kendall’s argument, though, I don’t mention my archnemesis.
I tap on the window. “Besides, Josh and I already decided we’d talk to my boss as soon as things calm down at my office. This week was insane.” Not a conversation I’m looking forward to having, but necessary nonetheless.
When we pull up to the curb of the restaurant, Kendall turns off the ignition and reaches for her purse to apply one more coat of lipstick. “I’m surprised Josh said it was okay to tell me who he is. If this is all so top secret.” Smacking her lips together, she glances over at me. “He really said, ‘Sure, tell Kendall who I am’?”
“This was his idea. Although… after he suggested this little get-together, I had to tell him that you already knew his first name and that he was the blogger I was representing. That definitely gave him a moment of pause. But eventually he said that I’m important to him, and if we’re going to be in each other’s lives, then he wants to know the people who matter to me because they’re important to him too.”
With her lipstick halfway to her mouth, Kendall turns to me with a wistful expression. “Damn, that’s sweet.”
“I know. He’s adorable.”
Her lips twist in a barely contained smirk. “And hot as fuck.” We look at each other and laugh. “You did good, babe. I’m sure I’m just being a spaz here. From what I know of Josh Cartwright’s reputation, he’s a great guy, and I honestly couldn’t be happier that you found someone so amazing.” She finishes applying her lipstick and turns to me. “But my most pressing question is, does he have any single, hot brothers?”
“Unfortunately, I think they’re all married or betrothed or whatever rich people do. But I’ve seen a photo of Drew when he and Josh were in college, and he’s a total hottie.”
Her lips curl into a delighted smile. “Well, tonight just gets better and better!”
Judging by the scowl on Kendall’s face, tonight can’t get any worse.
We’re dining at this exquisite restaurant, sitting next to a roaring fireplace, somewhat set apart from the other tables. Josh picked République because he said it was intimate enough that we could fly under the radar, and that if we run into anyone we know, we’re all simply friends grabbing dinner, which put my mind at ease. It sounded so simple. The plan seemed perfect.
We should be having a blast. Deep down, I’ve been looking forward to going out with Josh like this since we started seeing each other. A date in public. Gah! That trip to the farm last weekend only made me want to claim him in public even more.
But it’s hard to relax right now, even with the best martini I’ve ever had, because I’m starting to think Kendall wants to kill Drew. With her bare hands.
While Kendall, Josh, and I all dressed up for dinner, Drew showed up smelling like beer and wearing a Pearl Jam T-shirt, a dark hoodie and torn jeans. That was strike number one. Strike number two came when Kendall extended her hand to Drew as we introduced them, and he told her she had a great rack. But the death blow came moments later when we sat down, and he turned to her with a wicked grin and said, “So, you’ve seen my boy’s dick, huh?”
Even in this low lighting, it’s hard to miss the way Kendall glares at him when he burps and doesn’t bother to cover his mouth or apologize. We’re seated at a small round-top with Kendall to my right, Josh on my left, and Drew across from me. Now I’m wishing I had seated Drew and Kendall across from one another, instead of side by side, so it would be harder for her to maim him.
I look over at Josh, who rubs a hand over his face as though he wishes he could erase what’s happening here.
Maybe I oversold the idea of Drew to Kendall. While there’s obviously an attractive guy somewhere underneath his slovenly exterior, he’s gained weight since that photo of him in college was taken, eats with his mouth half-open, and says the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever heard.
Drew sends another text and laughs. “Just scheduling my post-dinner blow job.”
Even I recoil a little.
Kendall points her drink at Drew. “Whatever you’re paying her, it’s not enough.” Josh barks out a laugh while Drew frowns, but Kendall keeps going. “Let me ask you this. Do you always dine at four-star restaurants dressed like the Unabomber?”
Before Drew can respond, Josh cuts in. “Kendall, please ignore this bonehead. He’s my oldest friend, but he’s also an imbecile when he’s been drinking. I swear that underneath this crusty exterior is a really great guy who’s always had my back.”
Drew waves an oyster at Kendall with a smirk before he slurps it down.
My best friend’s jaw tightens, but then she nods and takes a deep breath. “Let’s start over. Clearly, we got off on the wrong foot.” She turns her shoulder away from Drew, so that her body is almost completely facing me, but then looks across the table to Josh. “Please tell me how much you adore Evie. She and I have been inseparable since we were twelve, and I would commit an assortment of crimes for this girl.”
He laughs and drops a hand to my knee. “She is pretty amazing.” His eyes find mine, and those butterflies in my stomach start feeling a little woozy. “The first time I saw her, I—”
“Wait,” Drew interrupts, pausing to chug some more beer. He talks to me but points to Kendall. “You’re really okay with Little Miss Priss here having seen Josh’s meatstick?”
My mouth drops open. It takes a moment to form coherent thoughts other than the prevailing one that I might want to hurt Drew with my bare hands too.
I clear my throat. “That was before I had met Josh. Of course she hasn’t looked since I began dating him. Right, Ken?”
The smile I’ve frozen to my face begins to fall when I realize that Kendall looks mortified. Again.
But before she can say anything, Drew scoffs. “You mean you didn’t see that nice little photo essay he took while he was doing his dick mold? C’mon. I don’t believe it.”
“Drew, shut the fuck up,” Josh warns, glancing around to make sure nearby patrons can’t hear us.
“I’m just saying.” Drew waves his hands dramatically, nearly knocking over a glass of water. “If I were Kendall, I would want to see who my bestie was dating.” He lowers his head and stares at her. “Tell the truth. No judgies for looking. Hell, I look every week. I mean, the comments alone crack me up.”
Kendall is sitting stock still and straight as a rod. Her eyes dip down. “I may have peeked once or twice, but that was before I realized they were serious.”
My face burns with the swelter of a thousand suns when I consider the images he’s posted in the last few weeks. Which is stupid. I shouldn’t care. Thousands of women look at his blog.
My stomach cramps.
Thousands of women. Hundreds of thousands. Actually… more than two million people.
I’ve done a good job blocking that out. Separating what Josh and I do privately from what he posts online. Ignoring the idea that women stare at my guy’s junk all the time.
Ignoring the fact that he posted my hand stroking him off that one day. For millions.
Suddenly, my napkin is incredibly interesting as I wind it in my lap, wishing I could erase this entire evening or at least take a Xanax before it got started.
Kendall’s voice is gentle when she apologizes. “One of the girls at work was talking about Josh’s blog recently, and I didn’t stop to think about the repercussions before I pulled it up on my phone. I’m sorry, Eves. I know I could easily lie to save face, but I’ve always told you the truth.”
“Stop. Please, don’t apologize.” Mustering a smile, I look up to see utter horror in her eyes. I grab her hand and hope I can forget this whole conversation because I would hate for anything to come between us. “It’s seriously not a big deal. I’m not upset.” I say the words, wanting them to be true.
Drew snorts in disbelief and guzzles down the last of his beer. “This
just gets more entertaining.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Josh asks him beneath his breath.
I’m thinking we should cut dinner short before the situation escalates when someone calls out Kendall’s name.
We all turn to see this pudgy guy strut over. He looks a little familiar, but I can’t place him.
All at once, Kendall’s whole disposition changes, and she perks up with that fake smile she uses at press conferences. “Gary! How are you?”
“Fuuuuck,” Josh whispers as Drew laughs and hails down our waitress to order another drink.
This Gary guy has a receding hairline and a sweaty forehead. He’s grinning so wide, I can see the silver in his molars.
“Fancy seeing you here, Josh,” he says, placing his hand on the back of Kendall’s chair.
Although she’s beaming a lovely smile his way, she kicks me under the table, and I yelp.
Which only gets Gary’s attention. “And who do we have here?” he asks with a creepy little wink.
Kendall waves between us. “Gary, this is my best friend from middle school, Evie. Evie, this is Gary Grossman.” She turns her face up to him. “Evie loves your blog!” Why does she sound so damn chipper?
And wait. I love what?
She gives me a look to play along. “You know his blog, Gary the Gossip.”
“Oh, wow,” I mutter. Kendall gives me another look, and I repeat the words more exuberantly, and Gary quirks his eyebrows at me.
“Glad to have such enthusiastic fans,” he says as he squeezes my shoulder with doughy fingers. Dear God, don’t touch me.
I’m not sure how Kendall manages to keep her disgust for this guy under wraps. She complains nonstop that he’s always derailing her clients’ reputations.
“What brings you here tonight?” Josh’s words seem friendly enough, but he’s gripping his tumbler of bourbon like he wants to smash it in this guy’s face.
“Good luck, I’d say.” Gary chuckles. “I heard Kendall’s client was having a little get-together here, and I wanted to stop by and say hi.”
“Which of my clients?” she asks, her brows furrowed.
“Bobby Vanderhaul.” He studies her expression like a viper waiting for his prey to make its move. “Didn’t you know about tonight’s dinner?”
Drew’s beer hits the table with a clang. “Bobby Vanderhaul, the starting center for the Trailblazers?”
She nods and turns back to Gary, her jaw tight until she forces another smile. “I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but my clients don’t tell me every time they go out to dinner. Honestly, though, I haven’t represented Bobby in a while.”
Not since they broke up.
“What do you do?” Drew asks Kendall, looking suddenly interested.
“This lovely creature is my favorite public relations liaison,” Gary says, answering for her.
I hate how he says liaison, like it’s a dirty word.
Gary continues, oblivious that we want him to leave. “You should stop on over, Kendall. I’m sure Bobby would love to see you. He and his girlfriend just announced they’re having a baby.”
Oh, shit. Kendall takes a deep breath and smiles, but I can see the pain in her eyes.
Enough is enough.
“It’s been great to meet you,” I tell the douchebag. “Thanks for stopping by our table.”
He stares at me a moment, and then he turns his attention to Josh. “Is Evie your new girlfriend?” He clucks his tongue. “She’s so different than Tiffany. No wonder you’re keeping her a secret.”
He did not go there.
The table is silent. Even Drew has the good sense to keep his trap shut.
Josh looks at me, and my insides are too busy staging a revolt for my mouth to function. My heart thumps wildly in my chest, and even though I know what he’s about to say, everything in me wants him to claim me.
But as he drags his bourbon to his lips, Josh shakes his head, pauses a moment with a dead expression in his eyes, and utters the three worst words I’ve ever heard. “We’re just friends.”
26
Evie
Once Gary leaves, I stand. “Take me home.”
Josh stands too, immediately serious, but commanding. “No. Evie, we need to talk.”
“We do not need to talk,” I say quietly. Then my voice is clear. “We need your friend to stop being such a jackass to my friend.” I gesture to Drew, who is rolling his eyes and playing with his phone.
“I’ll take you home,” says Kendall. Loyal friend. Goddess.
I move toward her, but Josh takes my hand in his and tugs me to him. “Please, Evie. Let’s get out of here and go to my place.” He leans closer and whispers, “Please.”
The vulnerability in his voice makes me agree, but I’m still too angry to do more than let him pull me along after I hug Kendall and glare at Drew.
When we get in the car, the silence is suffocating, but I don’t know how to unravel the knots that got tied during dinner. I stare out the window, watching the streetlights go by, listening to the sound of Josh’s Audi as he maneuvers through Portland’s wet streets. I should have taken Kendall up on her offer, because I can’t stand the tension.
And Jesus, there’s tension.
He hasn’t said more than two words since we left the restaurant.
Taking a deep breath, I finally begin to calm down.
I peek over at him, wishing I had worn my hair down instead of up in a ponytail. I could use that barrier right now.
His face is a mask of intensity. Tight jaw. Rigid shoulders. He’s pulled his sweater to his elbows, and the muscles in his forearms tense as he grips the wheel.
I swallow, wanting to say something, but not knowing where to start. My stomach hurts from how quickly tonight went to shit.
This isn’t like us. Whatever this is.
I know he wanted to talk, but his lips are pressed in a flat line like the last thing he wants to do is have a conversation.
Is he upset with me? For not getting along with Drew? Or is he pissed at Drew? Well, he should be pissed at Drew. He’s a complete asshole. I’m not even sure I understand why they’re friends.
And God, all the shit that happened with Gary.
Should I have piped up sooner? Waved off his attempt to learn about Josh’s personal life? Did Josh want me to do more to deflect Gary’s attention?
A car cuts us off, and Josh curses under his breath. I can tell he’s pissed. He hasn’t even bothered drying the raindrops that speckle his glasses.
Finally, he clears his throat, but the words that he mutters aren’t the ones I’m expecting. “You didn’t tell me Kendall was in PR.”
My brow furrows. That’s what he wants to talk about?
“Really? I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it. She reps some of the biggest people in town. I’m surprised you don’t know her with your family’s connections and everything.”
His grip on the steering wheel tightens, the sight of which intensifies the knot in my stomach.
Needing to fill the silence, I start babbling. “I feel really bad for her actually. That guy—the one Gary was there to see—he broke her heart. I hope she didn’t run into him after we left.”
“I wish I had known.” He pauses, glancing at me. “That she’s in public relations.”
I cock my head. “Why? Would that have made a difference in whether or not you wanted to meet her? If you’re worried about her saying anything about you, you shouldn’t. She’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever had.”
It’s a full two minutes before Josh says anything. “She seemed friendly with Gary.”
I snort. It’s highly unladylike, but I can’t help it. “How can you even suggest that about my best friend? She hates him. Hates. More than she hates Drew, and I’m pretty sure she wants to shank him. And after all of the inappropriate things he said tonight, I’m surprised Drew didn’t blurt out something crazy when Gary came to the table.”
Josh’s brows
draw tight. “Drew would never do that. He might seem like an ass, but he’ll take my shit to the grave.”
There’s an edge to his voice he’s never used with me before.
Raising an eyebrow, I cross my arms. Drew seems like a total and complete tool.
“How are you two friends again?” Because I don’t get it. Josh is refined and polite and conscientious, while Drew looks like he’s one of those douchebags who goes around kicking over people’s trash cans for the hell of it.
“We grew up together.” Josh shoots me an irritated look. “He knows what it’s like to be raised in a family like ours with the pressures we faced.”
In a family like ours.
It takes a moment to pinpoint why those words scrape against me like a Brillo pad.
Leaning my head against the window, I close my eyes, and it’s all there. The way my dad always looked so uncomfortable at my mother’s functions. The way she would talk about him to her friends when she thought no one was listening. How she rolled her eyes when he ordered a Budweiser since she only drank the best French vintages.
Once, right after my mom left us, I asked my dad how he could marry her if she was that way. He ran his hands over his face with a deep sigh and admitted she changed. That she had been on her best behavior until times got tough. Until he got injured and needed to take time off work, and without the overtime, he couldn’t get her the things she liked.
At the time, none of it made sense. How could she care more about French wine and expensive clothes when my dad worked himself to the bone to provide for us? And he told me, “Evie, when times get tough, you see people’s true nature. She was always this way. Only I was too blinded by love to see it.”
Honestly, my dad never looked like he fit in at those dinners, at the parties that revolved around caviar and the latest societal gossip.
Probably how I would look at those dinners.
I glance down at my Target-bought cardigan and clearance-rack skirt and know full well why Gary immediately contrasted me to Tiffany. I am different, and what Josh said just now makes me wonder if I’m fooling myself into thinking I’ll somehow avoid the pitfalls that doomed my parents’ relationship.
