by Cassie Mae
I’m rocking the chipmunk cheeks as I step from under the bleachers. The football field is muddy already. The players are dirty and sweaty, welcoming the rain as it washes their faces. The band marches on the fifty yard line, and my eyes desperately search for easily the hottest piccolo player in the world.
Mud spatters all of their shoes. They march, march, march, covering their clean uniforms in rain and mud puddles. I bite back my smile, thinking that this is probably the most accurate definition of dirty dancing.
One of my hands shoves into Levi’s hoodie pocket, and I lift the handle on the chain link gate separating fans from the field with the other. I still haven’t located that boy, but I am enjoying watching the tuba players as their fingers slip on the wet instruments and their knees almost buckle from the weight.
I try to look innocent as the coach glances in my direction. I lean against the chain link, and wait till I don’t feel his gaze on me anymore.
That’s when I hear it—the high pitched beauty that is Levi’s lips on a piccolo. I stand straight, stretching my neck, and I see the one player in the bunch, covered in mud like the rest of his bandmates. He’s rocking the crap out of that instrument.
They sound awesome. Even if I’m not in acoustic heaven, I can still appreciate the music. It’s upbeat and fun, and they just keep on playing even though they’re soaked and no one in the bleachers is really paying attention.
The last chord rings out, and they do a synchronized bow, right face it, and start marching off the field.
Without another thought to the people behind me, to the football players, or the cheerleaders, or even the rest of the marching band, I slip and slide my way over to Levi. I can hear people laughing. I can hear them yelling something about me or saying “What’s that chick doing?” but the sound of the weather and my heart freaking out in my chest drown it out when I get close enough to him. I weave through the flutes and stop right in front of him, watching his eyes widen while the rest of the band behind him run into each other as I halt their retreat from the field.
“Hey,” I say, breathing hard and letting the rain patter against my hood and mud fill my shoes.
“Hey.”
We pause, and I know there are people laughing or talking or whatever. But I’m not going to look at them. I’m going to look straight at Levi, and do what I want, even if I get crap for it.
“I didn’t get the chance to say I love you, too.”
One of the trumpet players drops his instrument on the grass. Another says, “Holy shit!” And Blinky doesn’t disappoint by blinking a million and seventy-two times at the both of us.
I feel my cheeks warm, but I’m shivering as the rain starts falling faster.
“I fell in love with the way you say things without thinking. I love how you play the piccolo. I love the way you look in that uniform and how you look in your Cineplex polo, and how you smell like popcorn sometimes.”
The rain and thunder get so loud I have to practically shout at him, like I’m screaming out my love for him to everyone in the whole world.
“I love how you talk during movies. How your butt looks when you jog to your moped. I love your half smile, your full smile, your kind of smile. I fell in love with the way you distract me when I’m nervous or scared or sick. I love how you scratch your nose when you’re nervous, how you talk to everyone even if they aren’t in your social circle. How good you are at taking care of everyone yet you still think you’re not doing enough. You’re freaking adorable and sexy and a hell of a good kisser. And I love you for all of it.”
Levi’s usual half smile turns to a fully loaded smile. He reaches for my hand, but stops midway. Then he’s back to half grinning.
I know he’s waiting for me. Waiting to see if I’ll be okay this quickly after I told him all I’m afraid of. I’m not sure if I am okay, but I know that I won’t ever be if I don’t do what he said, and be above it all. Not let them define me.
No, I define myself. And I’m the cute dorky girl who fell in love with the sexy band geek.
So I will kiss him whenever the hell I want to.
I jump on his soaked uniform, wrap my legs tight around his waist and hold his face.
Then I kiss the crap out of him.
There’s more “Holy shits!” and we both laugh around our kisses. His piccolo digs into my butt cheek as he tries to hold me steady, and rain falls into our open mouths making this just about the most awkward and hottest moment ever.
Even though it’s super hard to think about anything while I’m kissing Levi, I do think about what he said. About looking for the good people instead of hiding from everyone. I’m totally going to do that. Maybe I can find the strength to rise above the bullying, instead of letting it tear me down. And when it does tear me down, I can turn to the people who know who I am. Including myself.
I pull from Levi’s lips to his ear so he can hear me over the weather and all the other noise around us. “I told you that you can take care of me.”
“That was me taking care of you?” He laughs. “I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around.”
I lean back, holding his gaze and watching the rain drip from his hat and my hoodie onto his lips. He’s seriously the most adorable person ever, and I can’t believe he saw me even when I didn’t see myself.
I smile and kiss a raindrop off his nose.
“We can take care of each other.”
The band starts marching around us, playing some kind of song I think is supposed to be romantic, but it’s loud and since it was impromptu, beats are off and it’s missing one very high pitched important element, but the piccolo player’s lips are very busy right now.
You know, this PDA stuff might not be so bad.
CASSIE MAE
Cassie Mae is a nerd to the core from Utah, who likes to write about other nerds who find love. She’s the author of the Amazon Bestsellers REASONS I FELL FOR THE FUNNY FAT FRIEND and HOW TO DATE A NERD, and is the debut author for the Random House FLIRT line with her New Adult novels FRIDAY NIGHT ALIBI and the Barnes and Noble top seller SWITCHED. She spends time with her angel children and perfect husband who fan her and feed her grapes while she clacks away on the keyboard. Then she wakes up from that dream world and manages to get a few words on the computer while the house explodes around her. When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with the youth in her community as a volleyball and basketball coach, or searching the house desperately for chocolate.
You can connect with her on FACEBOOK
Acknowledgements
Thank you readers for reading this far, and for reading this page even though acknowledgements are crazy boring, and for sticking with my dorky Sierra and her piccolo playing crush, Levi.
Thank you to my own band geek crush I had in high school… who still has no clue I found his percussion skills so very attractive, and that I went to every football game sophomore year just to watch him in the band stands.
Thank you Google Docs for saving this manuscript from my computer crash.
Thank you my Awesome Nerds for pimping my books, boosting my ego when I need it, and for being so sexy. ;)
Thank you Beta girls, especially Ilima, Kyra, Jennie, Rachel, Suzi, Jessica, and Theresa for critiquing my Band Geek baby, for making sure Levi wasn’t a total dud, that Sierra was funny as heck, and that I didn’t accidentally write too many Adam scenes, even though I sort of fell in love with him.
Thank you Brittany for being so enthusiastic about all my ideas and selling them. You’re awesome, but you know that.
Thank you Georgia for being such a hands-on editor, owner, and running a kickbutt publishing company. And for allowing me to booty-shake my way through several emails.
Thank you Su for my beautiful, fun, and amazing covers!
Thank you Mommy for letting me read this book to you on our 9 hour drive to AZ, for laughing at all the right parts, and for enjoying this one as much as I did. There are so many things to thank you for, but I’m gonna cut it
off here or I’ll start crying.
Thank you Rachel for being Sierra’s biggest fan. I kinda love her too. ;)
Thank you to the piccolo for being such an awesome instrument to research.
Thank you Jenny, Becki, and Shellie for being so supportive, for begging me for my next book so I get my booty writing, and for buying my paperbacks. I love having such great sisters. :)
Thank you children for making sure I spend enough time cleaning toys, wiping bums, and reading bedtime stories so I’m not glued to the computer all day.
And of course, thank you to my Joshy Poo, for serenading me with your guitar skills, for being a frequent visitor to the band pit in high school, and enjoying Hairspray (along with other musicals) as much as I did. I love you, my sexy band geek!
Chapter 1
Can I get kisses instead of spankings for my birthday?
There’s this old school movie called Sixteen Candles. Apparently, it’s a classic. I’ve never seen it, nor do I have a desire to. I know the gist though. A red-headed girl’s family forgets her birthday because her older sis has a wedding or something or other, and she goes through a hilarious embarrassing day and ends up with a cute popular guy in the end, even though it started out shit.
I don’t know why people have this idea in their heads that sixteen is supposed to be the best birthday of your teenage life. I get eighteen. That’s an epic age. But why make a big deal out of sixteen when you can’t afford a car to drive, you can’t afford a kickbutt party, and you have to spend your birthday with your older brother and his girlfriend who can’t seem to stop groping each other.
“Do you guys know whose day it is?” I ask, crossing my arms and glaring at them. They’ve been totally ignoring me, but they won’t let me “be alone” because “no one should be alone on their birthday!” Heaven forbid.
“It’s yours, Brea,” Levi, my big brother answers, pulling his face away from Sierra’s neck. He snatches a fry from the tray sitting in the middle of our table. “Which is why we’re paying for your food.”
I roll my eyes because they think they’re doing me this huge favor, but really, this is money we could have used to pay the stupid water bill or something that’s two months late.
Sierra leans over to Levi, her brown hair brushing his shoulder as she whispers something in his ear. He flicks his eyes to hers, she gives him a stern look, and he mouths, “I won’t let you.” And she mouths back, “You can’t stop me.” Then grabs her purse.
They have this bizarre silent argument, trying to make it look like they aren’t fighting every time they look at me. But duh, I’m not an airhead.
I blow out a breath, dipping my straw in and out of my drink. Was this supposed to be fun? I need my best friend to get here right now. Adam’s the only one who makes being with my brother and his girlfriend bearable.
Levi and Sierra turn their silent fight into a whispered fight, but they’re both laughing through it. I’m trying to ignore them because I know more neck nuzzling is on its way.
“So, what’d I miss?”
A rush of warm relief floods my body, and I whip from the booth, grasping Adam’s wrist in an airtight lock.
“Save me, please!” I lower my voice and lean closer as Adam quirks a smile and fixes the glasses on his nose. “Those two do not know how to behave around other people.”
Adam laughs, prying my death grip from his wrist. He gives Sierra a pointed look, and her hands fly up, her eyes wide like she’s the most innocent person in the world. She’s good at the puppy dog shit. “I swear, we’ve been pretty darn good. She’s overreacting.” Her eyes move to mine, going from innocence to bitchery in a flash. I actually like when she gets nasty. I want to pat her on the back for having some spitfire, instead of letting people walk all over her.
“Come on, guys.” Adam gives Sierra a look like he knows she’s totally full of crap, and he’s on my side. “It’s her birthday. Maybe we should sit between you.”
“Hell no.” I lean over and grab my jacket off the seat. “I’ll be much happier if we ditch them, and they’ll be happier too. I guarantee it.”
Sierra looks like she’s about to argue, but Levi tugs her into his side. He smiles and waves his hand at us. “Get out of here, but be home by eleven.”
“Yes, master.” I bump Adam as I pass him so he knows to follow me. He’s my ride after all. But I do feel sort of bad for being a major sourpuss, so I turn around and walk backwards toward the exit. “Thank you for the attempt, though! Love you, I promise.”
Levi waves me off, and his attention abruptly turns to his girlfriend, and they make my birthday dinner into a dinner date.
It’s not that I don’t love my brother. I even get along with Sierra pretty well, but when they’re together they’re just… ugh. Sometimes I want to create a cheesiness level for them, and when it gets too high they’re lips are wired shut. Even silent-arguing over who pays the bill, they were looking at each other all lovey like.
I know for a fact Levi’s got a surprise for her graduation, too. It’s a few months away, and I think it’s incredibly fast, but they’ve been together for two years, I guess Sierra moving out of her place and into somewhere that’s not with him wouldn’t make sense to them.
I’m not excited for Levi to move out. I know I’m pretty darn lucky he’s stayed at home as long as he has, but what the hell are we going to do? Now that I’m old enough I can apply for jobs, but this time of year sucks major. I’ll look more in May for summer gigs. But even with that…how will I ever help as much as he has?
Adam sticks his key in his rusty Geo, the door making the loudest craaaaank! known to man. I giggle every time he opens it. Which is funny, because I rarely giggle.
“Okay,” he says, leaning against the door frame as I get in, “now that I’ve saved you, where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere that’s free.” I kick my feet up on the dash and play with my toe ring. “But I do want to blow out a candle at some point.”
All my wishes come true, because I keep them practical. Two years ago I wished for my tiny A-cups to become B’s. Not my most practical wish, but it worked. In fact, too well, since they ballooned to C’s so fast last year my wish was for them to halt their expansion.
This year, I think I’ll keep it simple, but not very practical. There are so many things I want, but I try to separate my wants from my needs. But my needs probably won’t ever come true.
Adam scratches the back of his neck before bringing his hand back down on the door frame. “Free, huh? Does gas count?”
I shake my head. But I’m not sure how far his Geo can make it before we’re stranded on the side of the road.
“Okay.” He grins and nods to my hands. “Watch your fingers.”
Another loud craaaaank! and I stifle my giggles as he sits in the driver’s seat. Adam adjusts his rearview mirror, fixes his glasses, and hands me his iPod he’s plugged into this ancient machine since the radio doesn’t work.
Pushing myself farther down in the seat, I flick through to find “Brea’s Playlist” and hit shuffle. Then I crank the window down and let the cool night air whip my hair around my face and stick to my lip-gloss. He doesn’t know it, but this is so much better than a big birthday party or even going out to eat with my family and friends. I just want to close my eyes and remind myself that my life doesn’t totally suck one-hundred percent of the time. Adam’s a good person to share that with me.
***
“Crap!”
I jolt from my seat, wiping the small amount of drool that escaped my lips as I dozed in Adam’s car. A clank clank clank echoes from the engine, and he pulls into a Target parking lot and shuts off the Geo.
“What’s going on?” My voice cracks, and I rub my eyes free of gook. What time is it?
“It’s nothing…I don’t think. Just need some oil.”
I raise an eyebrow and sit up in the seat. He tosses his keys up in the air and catches them. “Come on. I’ll get you a birthday pre
sent while I’m at it.”
He thinks he’s getting me something, but he’s not. I’ve told him all month to not buy a single thing for me and he keeps giving me that look like I’m trying to trick him or something. But I’m not. I don’t play those games. I say whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want and I mean it. Most of the time.
The door noise makes me laugh my way out of my sleepy haze, and Adam shrugs his hands into his jean pockets as we walk. Sometimes I wonder why he wants to hang out with someone like me. I’m two years younger than him and I’m kind of a pain in the ass. Though, when we hang out, I guess I’m less assy.
“I still have to blow out a candle,” I say as we weave through the auto section.
Adam nods, furrowing his brow as he looks for the right kind of oil for the Geo. He’s got to get rid of that crap car and upgrade, but like me, he doesn’t exactly have the cash for that. He will though. Adam’s a boy genius. He’s already got colleges throwing scholarships at his brains, all he has to do is pick one, and he’s set. But I don’t like to think about it. I already feel like I’ll be left behind enough as it is with Levi leaving. Knowing Adam could be moving across the country forms a large lump in my gut that makes me feel like I’ve got cramps to the max.
“Don’t worry, Brea,” he says, taking an oil tub from the middle shelf, “I’ve got you covered on the candle situation.”
“Damn straight.”
“Now…a present…”
“No.” I push a finger into his chest. “You’re not getting me a gift. I told you I don’t want anything and I mean it.” Because I do. Any gift will just make me think of how better spent the money could’ve been.
“Well, I need to put your candle in something. And I don’t have a lighter.”
“I don’t want a cake.”
He sighs, shaking his head. His glasses slide a tiny bit down his nose. “Always difficult.” His elbow bumps mine as we make our way to the party section. “Will you let me do this for you? I know you don’t care about turning sixteen, but come on, Brea. You want to blow a candle out, I’m not going to hold it and let wax drip on my hand while you think of something to wish for.”
