Thank you, God, for letting him trust me. And thank you, God, for bringing him here, to Claremont, and to me.
She waited patiently while he kept his eyes averted, not quite ready to tell more, but eventually he looked back at her, and Hannah saw the vivid sorrow in their depths. He cleared his throat. “We worked with the most severe cases, the ones that had been deemed without hope, given less than a year to live.”
Hannah nodded, remembering the day that the doctors had told her family that they should enjoy what time they had left with her mother.
“And I was blessed to have a better than ninety percent survival rate with my advanced stage patients. It was the best record at the center, the best in the country, in fact.” His head subtly shook as he spoke. “I’ve never handled losing a patient well, but ten percent was the best record out there, and I dealt with it okay, until…”
Autumn and Nathan passed by a few feet away, and Autumn held up her plate for his inspection. “I did good, Daddy!”
He swallowed, gave her a smile. “Yes, you sure did.”
“Look, Miss Hannah!” she said, showing her plate.
“She’s got green beans. That’s her green thing,” Nathan said.
“Yes, she does.” Hannah pushed past the array of emotions overwhelming her so she could speak to the kids. “Good job, Autumn.”
“My green thing’s fried okra,” Nathan said, indicating the vegetable on one side of his plate. “Mama says I’ll eat anything that’s fried. She says that means I’m Southern. But I really do like the fried okra. Hey, we’re going to sit at the kid table, okay?”
“Sounds good,” Matt said then turned back to Hannah, dabbing discreetly at her eyes. He noticed. “I’m sorry I upset you.”
“It hurts to realize what you’ve been through,” she said. “You could handle that you weren’t able to save a hundred percent, until your wife was in that ten percent.”
He nodded. “And then…then I couldn’t face the thought of losing someone else. I couldn’t go back to the research, to the gamble, if I couldn’t even save Rebecca.”
Hannah looked away from the crowd and finished brushing away her tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“I knew when I moved here that people might be interested in my background, want to look up my physician’s records and all. It’s human nature. I thought perhaps if I changed my name that it might lessen the chance of someone realizing that my specialty was in treating breast cancer and I could start over as a general practitioner.”
“The newspaper article said you practiced medicine in Atlanta, and I guess everyone was like me, assuming you were a general practitioner there, too, that we were lucky to get someone in Claremont with experience in a bigger city.”
Matt smiled. “I’m glad that was enough for everyone here. Plus, there are over twenty doctors named Matt Graham or Matthew Graham in Atlanta and the surrounding areas, so even if they did search the internet for me, they’d probably have thought I was one of those.”
Hannah and Matt nodded or spoke to a few members of the congregation as they passed with full plates. Jana and Mitch neared them, Mitch’s plate piled to a nearly unmanageable mound.
“Dude, you missed your chance at the beginning of the line, and now Mrs. Jolaine’s chicken fingers are long gone.”
“That’s okay,” Matt said. “I was planning on the chicken and dumplings being my main course.”
“Hate to be the bearer of bad news,” Mitch said, popping a deviled egg in his mouth, “but I think I could see the bottom of that Crock-Pot when I dipped mine out.”
“That’s okay,” Jana said. “I’m pretty sure Hannah has more warming on the stovetop, don’t you, Hannah?”
“Wouldn’t be smart not to bring plenty,” Hannah said. She waited for a lull in the traffic then lowered her voice. “I appreciate you telling me your past, especially since I’m sure it’s painful talking about losing Rebecca.”
“It didn’t seem right, not telling you.”
“Well, it means the world to me.” She smiled at Brother Henry as he and his wife walked by.
“Y’all better go get some food, before Chad, Mitch and Daniel head back for seconds,” the preacher instructed.
Hannah moistened her mouth, nodded. “Yes, sir, we will.” The intensity of their conversation had almost made her forget that they were still at the church fellowship meal and that they were probably drawing attention since practically everyone else had fixed their plates. “I’m going to get the rest of the dumplings, then I’ll meet you at the beginning of the line.”
“Hannah, wait,” Matt said, catching her wrist as she turned to go.
His palm was warm against her skin, and the eagerness of his words caused her to step toward him with the touch of his hand.
“Yes?” she asked, her gaze drawn to the point where his palm encircled her wrist.
“I—I haven’t dated since Rebecca…” His voice dropped off, and he closed his eyes.
Hannah had never wanted to help anyone more than she wanted to help Matt Graham now. She’d never wanted to hold anyone more than she wanted to hold him, right here, right now. But they were standing directly in the center of the entire church membership, and it didn’t seem the right place or time for the embrace tugging at her heart, so she simply said, “Matt.”
He opened his eyes, gave her a slight smile. “This is a little more difficult than I remember.”
“Do you want to ask me something?” she asked softly. “Because I think the answer is yes.”
He nodded, and it touched her that a man this successful, this amazingly handsome, seemed a bit nervous about asking her out. “Yes,” he said, his mouth lifting at the corners. “I definitely want to ask you something.”
“Okay,” she said. “Ask.”
He cleared his throat. “Would you like to go with me to the First Friday celebration? As my date?” he asked, and Hannah found herself fighting a laugh when his voice actually cracked in the middle of the question.
She placed her hand on top of his, still encircling her wrist. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”
Chapter Six
A patient’s late arrival Monday afternoon put Matt about a half hour behind the time he normally left his office and consequently caused him to miss meeting Autumn and Maura when they got to the toy store. Worse, he hadn’t been able to get there a little early, which had been his original plan, to see Hannah.
He needed to talk to her again, because the more he’d thought about their conversation from yesterday, the more he realized that he still hadn’t told her everything. Sure, he’d told her about his past at the research center and that he’d given up his role on the research team after Rebecca’s death, but he hadn’t explained that asking Hannah out on a date wasn’t merely difficult because he hadn’t asked anyone in a very long time. It was difficult because she was a survivor, and because he didn’t want to risk losing someone again.
He exited the building, started toward his car and wondered whether it was wrong to withhold that deep-seated fear from Hannah. Was there any reason to tell her? As Maura had continued to remind him, Hannah’s remission should keep him worry-free. But there was that niggling fear at the back of his mind that reminded him of the truth.
Sometimes, cancer comes back.
Matt climbed into his car and thought of Hannah, her laugh, her smile, her eyes. “Everything is going to be fine,” he said, tossing his bag onto the opposite seat and withdrawing his phone from his pocket. He’d missed three calls from Maura while he was in with his last patient, and he wanted to make sure everything was okay.
The phone rang twice before Maura picked up.
“Hello, William,” she answered. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. How’s Autumn? Is everything okay?”
“I believe she had a good day at school. We just got to the town square. The carpool line took a little longer than usual today, and her teacher wanted to chat for a moment. Do you want u
s to wait for you before we go into the toy store?”
“No, I’m sure she’s eager to see Hannah. I’m already in the car, so I’ll be there soon.”
“All right. Then can you hold on a second? We’re nearly there.”
“Sure,” Matt said, listening to the familiar noises of the town square, geese squawking, people chatting, and then the recognizable bell on Mr. Feazell’s door.
He heard Hannah’s greeting to his daughter and couldn’t hold back a smile at knowing they were together again, particularly when he heard Autumn’s enthusiastic, “I can’t wait to get started!”
“She’s excited, huh?” he asked Maura through the phone.
“I’d say.” Maura told Hannah that she needed to finish her conversation with Matt before coming into the display area.
The bell on the door sounded again, and Matt knew his mother-in-law had stepped outside, which also meant that whatever she was going to say probably wasn’t anything she wanted overheard. He braced himself.
“Okay,” Maura said, her voice lowered. “I need to tell you the rest. I asked Autumn how her day was.”
“And?”
“She said ‘okay.’ And then nothing else until we got here.”
Matt had hoped that Autumn would completely break out of her shell, but it’d been the same this weekend, she had barely talked at all except when necessary, but then she’d been fine at church around Hannah. So he could handle this. He could. She would get better, eventually. It’d just take time, and faith, and prayer. Matt had prayed today more than he’d prayed the entire time since he’d lost Rebecca, and it’d felt good, very good, to talk to God again.
“Thanks, Maura.”
“I wish I had better news.”
“I know,” he said, and he did. Maura loved her granddaughter as much as she’d loved Rebecca, and she wanted her to heal as much as Matt did. Unfortunately, Matt didn’t think Maura would ever completely recover from losing her daughter until Autumn was completely okay.
“William?”
“Yes?”
“Her teacher asked again whether we had considered holding Autumn back another year. She said that it might give her time to start communicating with the other…”
Matt interrupted her before he could hear the rest of the teacher’s recommendation. “Autumn doesn’t need to be held back again. She’s six years old, and she’ll be seven in June, well before the next school year starts. And she’s excelled in everything academically this year in first grade. Why should she go through it again merely because she isn’t speaking all the time? It isn’t her brain that’s the problem. It’s her heart.”
Maura’s deep sigh penetrated the line. “We’ll figure out what’s best for her, I have to believe that, but I agree that holding her back isn’t the answer. She’s doing so much better, with Hannah.”
An image of Autumn, her arms wrapped around Hannah’s legs outside of the church building, flashed across his mind. “Yes, she is.”
“They’re talking and laughing now,” Maura said. “Oh, I told the teacher that she should call you and talk to you because you could let her know about Autumn’s progress. She doesn’t know, because she hasn’t seen this.” Maura’s soft chuckle came through the phone. “I’m watching them through the window. Hannah has another bag of those treats from the Sweet Stop, and right now the two of them are holding licorice under their noses making candy moustaches.” She paused a beat then said, “She’s so good for Autumn.”
Matt nodded. “I agree.”
“I’ll stay until you get here, then I need to get home and finish dinner. I’m trying one of the casserole recipes that I got yesterday at the fellowship meal.”
“Sounds good.”
“It isn’t only Autumn, you know,” Maura added. “Hannah’s good for you too. I’m glad you asked her out.”
“I didn’t tell you that I asked her out.”
“You did, though, didn’t you?” Maura asked.
He laughed. “Yes, I did, to First Friday.”
“Good for you,” she said. “Okay, they’re calling me back in. See you in a little while.” She disconnected.
In no time at all, Matt was at the town square walking toward the toy store. Through the shop’s window, he saw Hannah and Autumn huddled over a dollhouse and working intently on putting up something that looked like a red curtain against the dollhouse wall. Maura leaned forward on the visitor bench so she could get a better look. She said something, and Hannah and Autumn both turned to her and laughed.
Hannah must have caught a glimpse of him as he neared, because she turned, still laughing, to look at Matt. Then she waved, tapped Autumn and pointed to Matt. He could easily read Hannah’s lips. “Look who’s here.”
And he could also read Autumn’s squeal. “Daddy!”
He waved then proceeded through the entrance and toward the display. As soon as he pulled back the curtain and stepped inside, Autumn started filling him in.
“Miss Hannah says we need to do the photography store today, and that store has a fancy red cloth hanging up.” She crawled toward the window and pointed to the photo shop that centered the left side of the square. “See?”
“Yes, I see,” Matt said, nodding a hello to Hannah. She wore a fitted red sweater, jeans and sparkly ballet slippers, these in bright red sequins. And naturally, her pink ribbon pin was tacked on the top of her sweater. Matt found himself as drawn to the way she studied him as he was to Hannah herself. She didn’t merely look at him, she took him in, her eyes focusing on his face, then his pullover and khakis, then back to his face. Oddly, he had that same type of feeling as a guy showing up for a first date, where you’re wondering if you picked the right thing to wear and if you’d say the right thing when you spoke. Matt hadn’t felt that self-conscious since he was a teen. But he did now. And something about that realization made him feel very much alive.
“It’s time for you to live again.” Maura’s words from Sunday echoed in his mind, and he grinned. He was living again, thanks to Hannah.
“How has your day been?” he asked Hannah.
“Great, and yours?”
“Just got better.”
She ran her teeth across her lower lip and then grinned, clearly taken aback at his honesty. But Matt was telling the truth. His day had something missing until this very moment, and that something was Hannah Taylor.
She reached past him to get a small box of miniature photographs. “I’m looking forward to Friday,” she whispered as her mouth neared his ear.
“Me, too.”
“Daddy, GiGi thought this was a sewing store because of the red cloth,” Autumn said, indicating the fabric that she and Hannah had placed in the tiny shop’s window. “But really it’s the dropback for the photo shop.”
“The backdrop,” Hannah corrected with a grin. “But that was close.”
Maura straightened. “Well, after I looked at the real photo shop, it was obvious. But I just saw a bunch of red fabric and assumed they were decorating a sewing store.”
Autumn laughed. “A sewing store. You’re funny, GiGi.”
“Actually,” Hannah said, “Diane Marsh has a shop that has a fairly large sewing section. Her place is mostly filled with crafts, but she does have a nice area for those who like to sew.” She leaned toward the window and indicated a colorful store near the candy shop. “That’s it. Scraps and Crafts. All kinds of crafts plus scrapbooking supplies. We have a lot of people around here that really get into scrapbooking. In fact, a group meets at our church every Tuesday night to scrapbook, and Diane comes in to teach the ins and outs. She does a great job, from what they say.”
“Really,” Maura said. “Well now, I’ve never been much for sewing, but I’ve often wished I knew how to scrapbook. I’ve saved every photo and most all of the artwork Autumn has done. It’d be nice to display that in a scrapbook. What time do the ladies meet at the church?”
Hannah laughed. “They meet at six every Tuesday night, but it isn’t onl
y ladies. I’ll have you know that my dad signed up for the class yesterday when he came to church.”
“Bo?” Maura asked, obviously surprised. “He’s wanting to scrapbook?”
“Well, I should probably clarify. Jana told him he needed to get out more, and she said she wanted to have a nice scrapbook started for baby Dee but she knew she wouldn’t be able to fit the class into her schedule after the baby comes. Then she waltzed him over to the sign-up bulletin board at church, and…”
“She signed him up,” Maura said with a laugh.
“Yeah, but he didn’t take his name off the list, so I think he’s going to do it.”
Maura nodded. “Well, that’s good. And that settles it. I’m going, and I’ll have a friend in the class.”
Hannah grinned, and so did Matt. Looked like he wasn’t the only one giving “living again” another shot. Maura and Bo Taylor were also venturing into new worlds, starting with the world of scrapbooking.
“Well, I’m going to head home to start that chicken and rice casserole.” Maura stood from her seat, took a step then stopped. “Autumn?” she asked, her voice raised a little.
“Yes?” Autumn held a tiny framed photo in each hand as she looked up. “What, GiGi?”
“You had a paper in your book bag that said this Wednesday is your I’m-the-star day at school. Is that right?”
“Yes, ma’am. I can bring in one favorite thing to talk about, as long as it fits in a brown paper bag and isn’t alive.”
Hannah laughed. “That sounds good. Maybe Mr. Feazell would let you take one of the miniature items from our display and you can tell how you’re helping me create the town square for the toy store’s window.”
“That’d be great!”
“And the paper also said that you have illustrated a book that you’ll share during story time.”
Autumn nodded. “I’ll show the pictures to the class.”
“And tell about the book?” Maura asked. She was working hard not to appear too interested in Autumn’s answer to her question. But Matt wasn’t fooled.
Healing Autumn's Heart (Love Inspired) Page 9
