As if I’d done something so horrible, I no longer deserved their concern?
I placed my hands over Jason’s, drawing from his immense strength. Eric draped an arm over my shoulders, and I shrank from him, turning away as much as I dared. Hadn’t he already proved over and over again how much stronger he was, how much more ruthless?
And I had displeased him somehow.
Eric huffed out a laugh. “And Jason insists on being jealous.”
“Leave her alone, man,” Jason said. “She’s been through enough.”
“My point was for you, not her.” Eric jerked a chin at mine and Jason’s hands, resting one on top of the other. “You don’t know her very well if you believe she loves me best.”
“She turns to me now because we’re bonded.”
“She comes to you now because she loved you, way before she loved me.” Eric’s arm tightened across my shoulders, drawing me in, breaking my resistance. “Why do you think she was so agreeable to having you in our lives in the first place?”
Jason’s gaze held mine for only a moment before flicking back to Eric. “Because you needed me.”
“Bullshit.” Eric’s voice was flat and harsh. “She loved you then and she loves you now. Having you as my favorite saved her from having to choose, and now, you’re trying to force her into it anyway. Do you think you’re making it easier for her, the way you’ve been acting? We’re a family, Jase, supposed to be one forever. Goddamn it, what else do we have to go through before you get that?”
“I fight for this family, too, have every fucking day for a year and a half.”
Jason tugged his hand from beneath mine, scrubbed it over his face. Eric’s hand shot out, catching Jason’s, and his thumb rubbed over the gold band Jason wore on his left ring finger.
“Here.” Eric lifted his arm from my shoulders and held his left hand up to Jason’s. “Look at our rings.”
Jason’s eyes dropped to their hands, one slender and elegant, the other broad and capable. “I know they’re the same.”
“Do you know why? Have you bothered to look inside her?” Eric dropped Jason’s hand, pulled me into him again. “She only went out with me that first time because you never worked up the nerve to ask her. She’d given up hope you ever would, and when the…” He swallowed hard and sighed. “When I asked her to marry me, she accepted because of the circumstances, not because she loved me more. We made it easy on her, being friends and lovers, but that doesn’t change the reality.”
Gregory flopped back against the seat. “You know, y’all make a whole lot more sense to me now.”
“Nothing makes sense to me,” I said. “I don’t remember hardly any of that.”
“You will, baby.” Eric brushed his cheek along my temple. “You will, when your mind is healed and whole.”
I had my doubts it ever would be. I’d lost too much when I’d broken one, lost myself and the baby I remembered only as a promising weight in my womb, lost my bonds with the two men who had become my husbands. Eric seemed so certain, but I couldn’t help wondering why. How did he know what he knew, when I could barely piece together my life over the past couple of weeks since Elizabet had allowed me to exit the cage?
“All in good time,” he murmured.
I tilted my head back, looking him full in the face for the first time since I’d woken in the car. “How do you always seem to know what I’m thinking?”
“I’m keeping a light connection with your mind, making sure you don’t slip into the shadows again. Elizabet suggested it after the last time.”
“But how can you do that without a mental bond?”
The corners of his mouth twitched upward. “You already know the answer to that one.”
Of course, I did, but I didn’t really understand it. Eric was merely a pet, but he was strong, stronger than Jason, at least mentally, and stronger than Alice, who was a full-blown vampire and decades older. How he’d gotten that way remained a mystery, and by the smile growing on his face, I guessed it would remain one until he was good and ready to tell me.
“Question.” Gregory slid a hand down Alice’s back, rubbing circles along the curve of her spine. “Actually, I have a lot of questions. What exactly are you, Eric?”
“I’m a man, just like you. Alice, on the other hand, isn’t just a woman. Maybe you should ask her your questions.”
Alice shot an exasperated glare at Eric. “I suppose you want me to show him.”
“That’s up to you.” Eric shrugged. “Sooner might be better than later, though.”
Gregory’s hand slid under Alice’s hair and encircled her nape, his darker skin contrasting sharply with her milky complexion. “What are you showing me?”
“This isn’t the way I wanted to do this,” Alice said.
“If I left it up to you, you’d never claim him.” Eric’s gaze fell to Jason. “The three of us have business to tend to, so…”
Alice sighed. “Fine, then.” She shifted on the seat, facing Gregory. Her lips parted and a moment later, Gregory jumped.
“Holy shit.” He reached toward her, drew back. “Can I touch them?”
Alice’s eyes cut toward Eric and back to Gregory. She opened her mouth wider and leaned closer to him.
“Wow.” He stroked a finger over the point of one of her fangs, and she shuddered. “They’re beautiful.”
Alice huffed out an airy laugh, startling Gregory. He jerked his finger back and hissed in a breath. A drop of red appeared on the pad of his finger and the tangy scent of blood permeated the close confines of the car.
I turned my face into Eric’s throat, nuzzling his skin above the steady thrum of his pulse. Jason loosed his hands from under mine and his fingers inched along the skin of my thighs, under my skirt.
Alice caught Gregory’s hand. “May I?”
“Will it, ah. Taking my blood.” He cleared his throat and his voice dropped a notch. “Will it turn me into what you are?”
“No, sweet. It takes much more than a simple blood exchange to do that.” She drew his finger closer, licked the single drop of blood into her mouth. “Mmm. So rich, so powerful.”
Eric shifted on the seat, half turning toward me, and pressed my mouth to his throat. “Take care of yourself now, sweetheart.”
So I did, sinking my fangs into his pulse, withdrawing quickly, leaving tiny puncture marks. I lapped at the trickle of delicious blood, latched my mouth over his skin and suckled. Jason’s fingers found my sex, teasing me with light touches over my clitoris and shallow thrusts of his long fingers. I lost track of everything but them, and with Eric’s blood flowing slowly into my mouth and Jason’s hands on my body, I was able to ignore the images he projected to Jason and the ever-present shadows lurking within me.
Jason satisfied me long before we reached home, bringing me to a sharp orgasm with his gentle strokes and murmurs. His mouth found mine as I panted my way down the other side, and his tongue slipped into my mouth, tasting the remnants of Eric’s skin and blood lingering in my mouth.
Our bond pinged and his mind touched mine. I love you.
I know. I gave him what I remembered, drawn from his memories and Eric’s, and what little remained of mine. The girl I used to be on the day we’d met, happy and kind and full of life. The woman I’d become when I’d married them, ripe and womanly and wanton. And the woman I was now, lost and small without the two of them by my side.
He drew away from the kiss and touched his forehead to mine. “I’ll do better. I promise.”
“Oh, Jase.” I cupped his face, reveling in the beauty of the man I was trying so hard to remember. “Just be who you are.”
His laugh was weaker than I would’ve liked, but he pulled me and Eric into the massive span of his arms and hugged us tight. “When we get home, I’m gonna show the both of you how much I love you.”
Eric grinned. “Now you’re just trying to get out of your punishment.”
“No,” he said, and kissed Eric soundly on the mouth. �
�I know you’ll take care of me in the morning. I might push you a little, though, get some of my own back.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
We made it home at last after a long night filled with bumps and bruises, but also with friendship and love. I sought out Jason and Eric’s bond, going only close enough to search for weaknesses. Some remained, evident in the thin, dark patches dotting the light I’d come to rely on. Those would fade eventually, once we all adjusted to the changes in our lives, though it would go faster if we could all be together instead of having to live apart.
Eric squeezed my hand as we walked into Elizabet’s mansion. “We would if we could, Gigi. I swear it to you.”
“I know, it’s just.” I lowered my voice and leaned into him, glad for the arm he wrapped around my shoulders. “I don’t understand why and no one will tell me.”
“You’re not ready yet, that’s all.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “Soon, though.”
Behind us, Alice walked between Jason and Gregory. “You’ll stay the night, won’t you?”
“Ah.” Gregory’s laugh was shaky. “With you?”
“Of course, with me.”
I peered over my shoulder at the three of them. Gregory’s gaze roved everywhere but toward Alice, who had her arm threaded through the crook of his elbow. She smiled up at him, her gentle beauty radiant.
Jason caught my eye and winked. “You and Alice could join us tonight, make it a fivesome.”
Gregory choked and goggled at him. “Jesus Christ, Jase. Don’t you already have your hands full with the two of them?”
Alice laughed. “Two’s never enough for our Jason, though tonight his bonded lovers will have to suffice.”
“Thank God,” Gregory murmured, and I snickered. Poor man. He’d been a good sport, observing where others would’ve interfered, reserving judgment where others might’ve turned away. He would be good for Alice, whatever her doubts were of his past or his character. I could feel it in them both, the need each had for the other, though I doubted either of them realized it yet.
Jason jogged up to us and wrapped himself around us. “Anybody up for cheesecake?”
“As a matter of fact,” I said.
Eric rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you brought up food between bouts of punishment.”
“Hey, man, I’m hungry.” Jason nipped at Eric’s throat with sharp teeth. “Besides, I’ll have your dick at my mercy soon enough.”
“God, Jason. You’re the only man I know who looks forward to punishment.”
“If you’d use something besides sex…”
“I’m not beating you.” Eric caught my flinch and tightened his hold on me. “Jason likes a side of pain with his sex.”
Of course. I’d already found that out, though I hadn’t considered it fully, and had let my fear of punishment obscure my knowledge of Jason’s particular proclivities.
“Just a small one. Was afraid you’d do that to me, and I knew I’d never hold on to my control if you did.” Jason waggled his eyebrows at me. “Eric gives good pain, when he feels like it.”
Behind us, Gregory murmured, “I don’t think I needed to know that.”
“It’s part of who we are,” Alice said. “Sometimes, pain is all we have to control the bloodlust.”
Gregory inhaled sharply. “Give me a minute to adjust, Alice. I just found out you’re a vampire, for Christ’s sake.”
“It’s all part and parcel,” Eric said. “If you stick around, you’ll learn that it’s not her you have to be afraid of, but what you’d do for her.”
“I’m beginning to get that already.”
We parted ways on the second floor. Alice drew Gregory down the wing toward her suite, while Eric, Jason, and I headed toward mine. As soon as the other couple was out of sight, Jason swept me into his arms, holding me high against his broad chest.
“Show off,” Eric muttered.
“Hey, don’t grumble now, not after laying down the dictate that I had to service the two of you.”
“I meant sex.”
“If that’s what you meant, you should’ve spelled it out better.”
I sighed and dropped my head to Jason’s shoulder. “Are y’all always going to fight over me?”
“This isn’t fighting, sweetheart, it’s teasing.” Eric pushed the door to my room open and flipped on the light. “Something you used to understand. Can you remember that?”
I groaned. “No more memories, please.”
“Sorry, baby.” Jason placed me gently on the bed and rubbed the tip of his nose across mine. “Just a few more and then you can rest. Let me get cheesecake first, though.”
I laughed, couldn’t help it, and scooted over, making room for Eric. He perched on the bed beside me, one foot on the floor. The door closed behind Jason, off in search of something to fill his ever-ravenous belly.
“He can’t help what he feels, Gigi.”
I met Eric’s steady gaze and tried not to fall into the hazel depths. The temptation was there. He was so much more than me, so stable and steadfast, and always at least one step ahead of everyone around him. “I don’t blame him for what happened earlier.”
“No, you blame yourself, and you shouldn’t.” He found my hand, captured it in his warmth. “You’re still new, still struggling to find yourself and your control, and you’re terrified you’ll have to go back to the cage.”
I inhaled sharply and closed off the memory of cold steel and black shadow.
“You have to let that go, baby. It would take something horrific for Elizabet to force you back there, and right now, you just don’t have it in you.” He pressed his lips to the back of my hand, lingering there for long moments. “You do need to discipline yourself better. I don’t know how you’re doing it, but you have to stop wiggling into other people’s memories unless they’re shared with you, ok?”
“It’s not always on purpose.”
“I know. Jason will help you. It’s why I sent him to you in the first place, because he’s usually so good with control, so much better than I ever was.” Eric cocked his head, then lowered his voice. “That and his need is greater than mine.”
A memory flashed through my mind so quickly I could barely catch it. Jason on his back, me straddling him, and Eric behind us, watching as Jason and I made love for the first time.
His need is greater.
“I would do anything to keep my family together, Gianna. Anything.”
Eric caught my gaze and held it, and in those beautiful depths, I found the source of his determination: Me and Jason and someone named Willow. It was there, not in his mind, but in his heart. I had no problem connecting with him on that level, as I did with my own more fragile mind.
Jason came in, one arm full of goodies. “Hey, guys, you would not believe what Cook left for us.”
Eric and I shared a glance, and the laughter spilled over. Jason dropped his load onto the coffee table and crawled into bed with us, and I knew then that we’d be ok. Maybe it would take a while. The jealousy Jason had poured out earlier lingered within him, though the bitterness was beginning to fade. He would have to deal with that. No, I thought, we would all deal with it, together, as a family should.
I opened my heart to my husbands and held them both close, and for that night at least, nothing came between us, not even the past.
Episode 3
The Games We Play
Chapter One
The stairs stretched downward in front me, their polished wooden steps extending for an impossibly long distance. I inhaled shakily and pressed a nerveless hand to my stomach over the ivory colored satin gown I wore. Alice had schooled me on what to expect tonight, the press of the crowds, the curious stares, the people and vampires and other who would sidle close wishing either to curry Elizabet’s favor or Eric’s.
No one would want me for me, of course. I was a new vampire, still reeling from the shock of an unnecessarily violent turn, and my mettle hadn’t yet been tes
ted. Elizabet, on the other hand, controlled most of the southeastern US, and Eric was, well, Eric. He’d demonstrated his budding strength one time too many for the Vampyr underworld not to take notice. I’d had so little experience dealing with those outside Elizabet’s small inner circle that I hadn’t experienced it yet, but Alice had cautioned me to be wary. Most were taking a wait-and-see approach where my husband was concerned, but some had started to react to Eric’s subtle bids to strengthen his hand.
The queen, for instance. Lanu had flown down from New York to attend my official debut into Vampyr society. A flutter of nerves danced through my stomach. The queen, for goodness’ sake. She was the most powerful vampire in the western hemisphere, so strong none dared oppose her. I hadn’t met her yet, but I’d heard she could turn another vampire inside out with a mere thought and that the unprepared could find their minds pummeled under her merciless quest for power and control. There was nothing in me that even wanted her here. Even Jason was concerned.
Eric’s reaction to her visit? A satisfied smile.
The grandfather clock situated in a corner of the first floor foyer chimed eight. I gripped the smooth wooden railing and stepped down. One step, two. My heels clicked lightly against the steps, echoing the slow patter of my heartbeat, and the gown trailed behind me in elegant folds of fabric, swishing with each step. I’d worn my mother’s pearls, for luck and comfort, and for the memory. The smooth shimmer of each pearl held the love my father and mother had shared, and I needed that love so badly on this night.
Elizabet’s majordomo met me at the bottom of the stairs. “Miss Gianna. You are simply stunning, as always.”
I gripped his outstretched hand, pressed a grateful kiss to his sagging cheek as tears pricked at my eyes. “You’re too kind, Dinky.”
His cheeks flushed and he patted my hand. “None of that now, Miss. You’ll be just fine. The masters are waiting for you, just inside the ballroom. Eric insisted, and you know Elizabet. She couldn’t tell him no.”
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