Piece by Piece

by Tucker, RH

  “What? No, it’s fine. We’re like three minutes from the apartment.”

  “Sasha, please.”

  Now I’m the one holding his face. His gaze is serious, and I still see the fear in his eyes. “Taylor, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll go ten miles per hour if it makes you feel better.”

  “Five would be even better.”

  I laugh. “Come on,” I give him a slight push. “I’ll be fine.”

  Still holding my shirt, he stares back, unsure. Biting his lip, he finally nods and takes a step back to his bike. The car ride home is only slightly unnerving, but we’re so close to the apartment, it leaves quickly. At least for me. He still seems to be on edge when we get into the apartment, and I might assume it’s because he was freaked out. But when we get inside, we go to my room, and as I’m kissing him, he slows down. Not like he’s done before when he wants to take his time. This is something else.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “Nothing …” His hands crawl up to hold my face again as he lays on his side. “Can I just hold you tonight?”

  I stare back at him, trying to read his expression. “Of course.”

  I lay closer, resting my head against his chest, as his arms encompass me. One arm holds me close, while his fingers run through my hair.

  I immediately remember his drunken night, how he thought I was someone else. He knows who I am tonight, but the same softness from that night, the same compassion that I’ve only seen glimpses of, is here now. I want to ask him about his accident, but I don’t. Whatever happened is still with him. So, I just lay in his arms, feeling his warmth against mine and know I’m falling harder for him.

  Waking up in the morning, Taylor continues to cling to me, and I still have questions swirling in my head. I’m not sure I want to ask and open up a possible can of worms, but as he moves, I look up and see him smiling at me.

  “Morning,” he groggily says.

  “Hey.”

  “You okay?” he asks, and I look at him, unsure what he’s talking about.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Just making sure from last night.”

  Propping up on an elbow, I meet his eyes. “Taylor, it wasn’t a big deal. Not even any damage to the car.”

  “I know,” he replies, turning away.

  “Hey,” I reach over, bringing his face back to meet mine, “are you okay?”

  He stares at me longer than necessary. As if he’s searching for something in my eyes, but I have no idea what that something is. “I’m fine.”

  I don’t want to press him, but I also want to make sure he knows I’m here for him. “Do you … want to talk about it?”

  Taking a deep breath, he runs his thumb over my cheek and smiles. “Not really, no.”

  “Okay,” I reply, begrudgingly. Snuggling close, a new thought hits me. “Still no nightmares again?”

  He grins. “Nope. Thank you for being okay with last night.”

  I let out a laugh. “Taylor, we don’t have to do it every single time we’re together.”

  “Aw.” He playfully frowns, and I poke his ribs.

  “Seriously. If we’re trying whatever it is we’re trying, I don’t want this thing built on just sex.” I look away, swallowing my nerves. “I mean … if we are actually building something.”

  I wait nervously, his gaze never breaking from mine. “I’d like to think we are. How about breakfast?” he whispers, leaning closer and kissing my neck.

  “Yeah, I could whip something up,” I reply, unable to stop the shiver that runs through me.

  “No need.” He moves his lips lower, over my collarbone. “I already know what I want.”

  Chapter 20

  Taylor

  I haven’t had any more nightmares, and I don’t know how I feel about that. I might be freaking out about it more, but I’m also starting to get nervous over paying my rent and bills.

  I haven’t spoken with Micah since he moved out. Calvin keeps promising the gym is going to open though he doesn’t say when. I should be staying more up to date with everything, but I’m trusting him. I’m trying not to think about it, since I’ve already got my issues with Sasha, figuring out how to apologize to Micah, and studying for my classes all weighing on my mind.

  My phone dings.

  Ethan: Yo, T. Where u at?

  Me: Home. What’s up?

  Ethan: Can you meet me? I’m up the street at Pizza Castle.

  I let out a laugh, staring at his text message. Pizza Castle is a restaurant that caters to kids, with a bouncy castle, ball pit, arcade, and pretty much anything else a four-year-old would love. He must have Ashley.

  Me: Sure. Be there in a few minutes.

  Getting to the restaurant, I walk inside, and Ethan waves me over to his table, where a half-eaten pepperoni pizza sits. Nodding over at him, I smile when his daughter runs over and wraps her arms around my leg.

  “Taylor!” she calls out, giggling.

  “Hey, what’s up, munchkin?” I kneel down and pick her up.

  “I’m not a munchkin. I’m Ashley!”

  “Are you sure?” I pinch her nose. “You look like a munchkin to me.”

  She laughs again.

  “Careful,” Ethan warns, as I set her down and sit across from him. “She’s had one full slice and two fruit punches. She’s already bursting.”

  I laugh and watch as she runs back into the ball pit. “What are you guys doing?”

  He shrugs. “I promised her we’d come because she got a gold star in her class last week.”

  “Cool.”

  “What’s up, man? I haven’t heard from you?”

  I shake my head, grabbing a slice of pizza. “Not much, just keeping up with schoolwork and waiting on Calvin to get back to me about when the place is going to open. I think I have a few people ready to work with, I just need a spot.”

  “Is Becky one of them?”

  I laugh. “You know it.”

  He laughs along, but in reality, I haven’t talked to her in a while, nor have I wanted to. I haven’t wanted to be with any girl other than Sasha, which I should be happy about. But whenever I’m reminded of that thought, worry and guilt speed through my mind.

  “So, about Precision.” He chews on a slice of pizza before taking a drink, staring at me. “I talked to Calvin yesterday.” I raise an eyebrow, unsure how this conversation’s going to go. “His lease fell through on the place he wanted.”

  “You’re kidding,” I spit out, dryly.

  Ethan shakes his head. “And with that news …” He looks over at Ashley, who’s smiling and laughing in the ball pit, not a care in the world. “He, uh, put a hold on all of the equipment he was purchasing.”

  My head drops back, and I let out a disgruntled groan. “E, tell me you’re joking. You’re joking, right?”

  “Sorry, I’m not.”

  “Damn it, Ethan. I quit my job. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

  “Do you guys have anything saved? Maybe you can get by another month and look for an opening at another gym. I’m sure Micah—”

  “Micah moved out.” He sits there quietly, staring at me. “And me, being the conceited jerk-off I am, told him to take his half of the rent that he was going to leave with me and shove it.”

  Ethan shakes his head, his brow furrowed. “Taylor, why the hell would you do that?”

  “It’s … a long story. I’m up the creek without a paddle on this one. Damn it. I’ve got enough saved to maybe pay this month’s rent, but that’s it. And that’s not even including all of my utilities.”

  He’s quiet for a long time. So am I, staring down at the half-eaten pizza slice, listening to kids in the background.

  “I know all of your family is in Santa Monica—”

  “Don’t even. I’m not going back there.”

  “I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say come stay with me.”

  I peak a brow. “Seriously?”

  “Ashley’s only with me a few
days a week. It’ll be fine. We’ll move her stuff in my room, and you can stay in hers.”

  “Dude, I can’t do that to you.”

  “Taylor, stop. Let me help you out. What else are you gonna do, go broke and live out on the street?”

  I release a sigh of reluctance. This wasn’t how this year was supposed to go. I wasn’t supposed to have a falling out with my best friend, or quit my job out of stubbornness, or revert back to having nightmares about the worst day of my life. And I damn sure wasn’t supposed to start falling for a girl who I have no right falling for, knowing I can’t give her—or anyone for that matter—what they deserve.

  I wasn’t supposed to be on the brink of homelessness, but here I am.

  “Taylor?”

  I slowly nod my head. “Yeah. Thanks. I’ll try to find a place to work and be out of your hair quickly.”

  “Stop, man. Take as long as you need. I just ask you not to have any of you famous Taylor parties. I won’t have Ashley around that, even if she is over only a few days a week.”

  I let out an amused chuckle. “That won’t be a problem. I haven’t been partying much lately.”

  “Is that right?” He leers with a crooked grin, taking another slice of his pizza. “Any particular reason?”

  My mind goes to Sasha, but I can’t bring myself to name her. I never had a plan as to when I would be ready to try and have a serious relationship with someone again. I didn’t allow my mind drift that far ahead.

  “Or are we talking about a particular person? Just please don’t tell me it’s Becks.”

  I laugh. “Oh, come on, what’s wrong with Becky?”

  “Nothing’s wrong with her, but she’s a party girl. And I know you like to have fun, but I think you could do with something a little more slowed down. Whatever happened to that girl that picked you up? Sasha, right?”

  “Yeah.” I nod. “She’s around.”

  “Okay,” he smirks, sipping his soda. “Anything there?”

  “Are you sure you’re twenty-two and not thirty-two, Baby Daddy?”

  He shrugs with another chuckle. “What can I say, when you’re a dad you start to look at things differently.”

  I nod, doing my best to keep the smile in place. Staring at me a moment longer, I catch his gaze, and raise my eyebrows, taking another bite of my pizza.

  “Something I said?”

  “Nope.” I shake my head, smiling wider. “All good.”

  * * *

  Looking out over the small drop on the beach, I listen to the waves break down below.

  “Sorry I haven’t been by sooner,” I say, gazing out over the ocean horizon, running my fingers through the sand. “There’s no other way to put it, Reese. Things are shitty.”

  Picking up a small pebble, I roll it around in my hand. I usually talk freely, but today I’m stuck.

  “Remember when we were eleven, and your dad caught us sneaking out of your room?” I laugh, then sigh at the memory. “He was so mad. Looking back on it, I bet he was probably relieved we were that age and not a little older. And that we only had root beer and gummy bears.”

  Another soft laugh and I clench my eyes shut, fighting back the emotions. “I don’t … I don’t know how to do everything I’m supposed to do and keep you in my life. That girl I’ve told you about, she’s nice. You really would like her. She reminds me of you, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing. If I really think about it, it’s probably the absolute worst thing I need right now.

  “Micah’s gone.” I take a deep breath, gently punching the sand I’m sitting on. “I did it again. I really thought I was past that … I miss you, Reese. I miss you more than you know. And that’s not fair to Sasha, but …” Grabbing a fistful of sand, I let it drift through my fingers. “But I can’t help how I feel either.”

  Releasing a disgruntled sigh, I brush my hands off and get to my feet. “AJ is doing good. He’s such a smart kid. You’d be proud of him.” I nod, staring down over the edge of the rocky cliff. “I’ll try to come back sooner. I love you, Reese.”

  Chapter 21

  Sasha

  How do you tell someone you love them when they seem like they feel the same, but then shut down when you try and talk about serious things? Or when they tell you they like being around you, which he has, and they smile more when they think of you, which he has too, but when I talk to him about family, either his or mine, he constantly has to finish a paper before the semester ends or figure out work stuff?

  He sleeps over most nights, but lately, it’s not just to stay the night. He’ll hang out around the apartment, or we’ll go out and do stuff. Like now—he’s been over for a couple of hours, and we’re lying on the couch, watching a movie, as he gives me a foot massage.

  “Don’t do it,” I tell the TV, taking a bite from a bag of chips.

  “When have you ever watched a slasher flick and the main people don’t go into the shadowy area?” Taylor chuckles.

  “You never know,” I answer. “Maybe one of these days the script will finally get it right, and do the sensible thing.”

  He laughs, switching from my right to my left foot. “If that day comes, the movie will be ten minutes long, with everyone coming to their senses, and calling the police while they wait in a locked car.”

  I push his stomach with my foot. “Okay, Mr. Party Pooper.”

  He laughs, and we return to watching the movie when Felicia walks into the apartment.

  “Hey,” I call to her, grabbing another chip. We’ve talked since our argument, but not about the argument itself.

  “What’s this?” She nods to the TV.

  “Sthaswe thrd th deurk,” I answer her with a mouth full of chips.

  “You’re disgusting,” Taylor laughs, shaking my foot. “Slashed thru the Dark,” he answers her.

  “Oh.” I catch her looking back and forth, between Taylor and I. “Hey, Mom wants to have lunch tomorrow. Taylor, you finally ready to meet the ’rent?”

  “Felicia!” I send her an exasperated look. She’s done that three times already. Of course I want him to meet my mom, but he always seems uneasy when it’s been brought up. “But she would love to meet you,” I add timidly.

  “Yeah, you talk about him enough,” Felicia remarks with an annoyed smirk.

  A quietness falls among all three of us. Taylor raises his eyebrows. “I can’t tomorrow. Sorry.”

  “No, it’s totally fine. It’s not a big deal.”

  Felicia lets out another scoff and heads to the kitchen. Turning down the volume on the TV, Taylor lifts my legs and scoots closer to me, laying my legs over his.

  “Hey … if you really want me to, I will.”

  “It’s okay. If you can’t, then you can’t.”

  Another round of quiet falls between us before his phone starts ringing. I glance over and see the name on the screen. AJ. An unsure expression crosses Taylor’s face as he answers.

  “Hey, it’s late. You okay?” The unsure expression switches to concern. “Whoa, whoa, calm down. No, it’ll be okay. I know, I do too.”

  He’s not paying any attention to me, moving my legs off of him and standing up. He’s entirely focused on the call.

  “It’s gonna be okay. Yeah, of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Hanging up the phone, he slides it in his pocket and reaches for his shoes. “I gotta go.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine, but I have to go. Now.”

  “Are you sure? That sounded serious.”

  He ties his shoes furiously. “It’s fine.”

  I sit there, quietly, watching him finish putting on his shoes, throwing on his jacket and grabbing his helmet. Then he’s out through the door. The TV plays softly in the background, but I barely recognize it, trying to figure out what just happened.

  “Oh, no booty call tonight?” Felicia laughs, sitting on the couch, with a pint of ice cream.

  I roll my eyes at her. “How many times have I told you I hate that
phrase? I’m not a booty call.”

  “I know that. He’s the booty call.” She laughs again, while I roll my eyes at her. “What am I supposed to call it? You don’t call him your boyfriend, even though he seemed to be acting mighty boyfriendly a second ago with those foot massages.”

  “We’re just … friends.”

  She laughs, scooping out a spoonful of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. “Friends? Right.”

  “Fine, monogamous friends. Happy now?”

  “No, I’m not.” She licks the spoon and then points it at me. “Sash, I get that you’ve had shitty luck with guys, but this is not the one.” I don’t respond though. Instead, I look down at the couch cushion. “I know you like him, and yeah, it seems like he likes you enough, but he’s hiding something. You have to see that.”

  “I do.”

  “So, please know, I’m not saying this because I think he’s an ass. He seems nice enough most of the time, but I know he’s not fully invested in you guys, and that sucks. I don’t want that for you.”

  “Gimme that,” I reply, grabbing the ice cream and spoon from her. “You think I want that?” I say with a mouthful of ice cream. “I don’t. I know he’s got some stuff he doesn’t want to talk about. But we do have these moments when he lets that wall down. He hasn’t told me everything, but I feel like he will. Eventually.”

  “Eventually isn’t good enough,” she returns, grabbing the spoon from me. “I’m serious, Sasha. He’s not any better than any of those other jerks that were still hung up on a girl they went crawling back to. You’re way too good for that. Whatever his issue is, he doesn’t deserve you.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s the truth. I’m sorry, but it is. You’ve got your life in order, you’re chasing your dreams, working at the restaurant. You’ve got more of your life together than most of the people I know. Please, just drop him. Maybe then he’ll see how good he has it with you.”

  “Licia, stop already.”

  “Sasha, he’s not the only guy out there. Hell, even—”