by Emmy Eugene
Had he fallen in love with her too fast? They’d only been dating for a few weeks, though he had known her for his entire life.
He looked at the earrings he’d bought for her. They were small, but he knew the gift wouldn’t be simple. He also knew Jenna would love them, as they were music notes made of glittery black gems.
He hadn’t even been shopping for a present for her. He’d gone to the hardware store for a new lock for one of the stables, and a woman had a booth set up on the corner. Seth had seen Jenna wear necklaces, rings, and earrings before, and he couldn’t resist the music notes.
He tucked them in his pocket, still undecided about what they said about his relationship with her.
Back in the kitchen, he still wasn’t sure if he could give a name to his feelings, but he asked, “Do you still paint?”
“Oh, I gave that up years ago,” she said. “The smell of the oils gave my dad migraines, and I wasn’t that great at it.”
“I liked your paintings,” he said, scanning the walls. There were no oil paintings present. In fact, it looked like Jenna and Isaac had left the house exactly as their mother had had it.
“They have an art show during Octoberfest,” she said with a smile.
“What else do you have on our schedule?”
She turned away from the slow cooker, where she’d been shredding the meat. “Our schedule?”
“Yeah, we’re doing stuff together, right?”
“I’d like to,” she said.
“So show me your list,” he said, smiling as he entered the kitchen and stood next to her at the counter. He pulled the earrings out of his pocket. “Oh, and I got you these in town today.”
She stilled in her meal prep and stared at the earrings, making no move to take them from him. His heartbeat started to vibrate through his veins, and not in a good way.
Their eyes met, and she looked…worried? Was Seth reading that right? What would she have to be worried about?
Chapter Sixteen
Jenna wasn’t sure why a pair of earrings had sent her into a tailspin. She’d received gifts from men before. She liked Seth a lot. She enjoyed his presence in her house, and the way he held her like she was fragile and worth taking care of. She liked kissing him and sharing her life with him.
“You don’t like them?” he asked, closing his fingers around the small gift when she hadn’t moved or spoken for far too long.
“They’re beautiful,” she managed to say.
“You just don’t want them.” He tucked the earrings back into his pocket.
“It’s…” She didn’t know how to say what it was. “You don’t need to buy me gifts.”
“I know that,” he said. “What if I want to buy you gifts?”
She finished stirring the barbecue sauce into the meat and turned to grab a bag of rolls out of the drawer. Words flew up her throat, and they were going to come out whether she wanted them to or not.
“How much were they?” she asked, trying to push back the memories of her ex-husband.
“Why does it matter?” Seth’s gaze on the side of her face was so heavy.
She reached for a serrated knife to cut the rolls. “It matters to me.”
“I have a ton of money right now,” he said.
“It’s not about the money.” Jenna couldn’t look at him while she worked, though he hadn’t looked anywhere else.
“Then tell me what it’s about.”
She pressed her eyes closed, but the words weren’t going away. “Marcus bought a lot of gifts,” she said. “He thought he could fix things with presents. Flowers. Cards. Jewelry.”
And Seth had given her all of those things in the past couple of days.
“And that bothered you?”
“It bothered me that he thought he could buy my love with pretty things.”
“Oh, wow.” Seth fell back a step and then left the kitchen completely. “Is that what you think I’m doing?” He stood on the other side of the island now, and Jenna hated the distance between them.
“No,” she said quickly. With everything ready to eat, she didn’t have anywhere else to focus. She put the knife down and faced him, her nerves screaming through her body.
“But I can’t buy you things.” His fingers fisted and released, and Jenna hated that he was uncomfortable.
“I don’t need things,” she said. “That was something Marcus never understood. I just needed him.” She shook her head, because what she was saying barely made sense to her. How could he understand? “He’d buy me things after we argued, or when he felt bad after a doctor’s appointment.” She shrugged, her memories of getting nice things so tainted.
“I didn’t need any of that. I…just needed him. I need you.”
“I’m here,” he said. “And I’m not going anywhere, and I didn’t buy you the earrings to make you like me more or because I’d done something wrong and wanted to get out of the doghouse.”
She nodded, because she’d ruined his gesture. “I know that.”
Seth turned away from her and walked over to the windows that overlooked the side of the house. The trees in that direction separated their property, and she wondered what he thought of when he saw them.
“Is this why you threw away the roses I gave you yesterday?”
“No, I—how do you know I threw them away?”
“Well, they weren’t on your desk at work when I checked in today,” he said. “And I don’t see them here. It was an assumption.”
Jenna had no reason and no excuse. And roses weren’t cheap—not that money mattered to Seth. “I’m sorry,” she said, nodding slightly. “I don’t know why they bothered me, only that they did.”
“So no flowers, no cards, no jewelry. The food I’ve been buying is okay, though. Somehow.”
“I—”
“It would be great if there was a list I could work from,” he said, his dark eyes flashing with anger. “Then I won’t waste my time or money on things you don’t want.”
“Seth,” she said, plenty of frustration in her tone. But he had every right to be upset. He’d bought her a gift, and she hadn’t even been able to accept it.
“You like making lists,” he said. His dog barked as if she could sense the tension in the air, and for all Jenna knew, she could.
Seth looked at her, and then back at Jenna, clearly waiting for something. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “There’s no list. You don’t need to do anything more than you already are.”
“So I can’t ever send flowers to my girlfriend? Or buy her something because it makes me think of her?” He shook his head. “That seems kind of ridiculous, to be honest.”
And at least he was being honest. Marcus only told half-truths, holding everything else inside until he exploded.
She didn’t know what to say. “Come eat,” she said. “It’s getting cold.”
Seth didn’t move. “Have you ever considered that giving a gift isn’t about the receiver?”
Jenna blinked at him. “Of course it’s not about the receiver,” she said, her own irritation rising. “It’s always about the giver. How it makes them feel. Marcus felt guilty for not knowing how to react to my infertility, so he bought flowers. He felt bad for yelling at me, so he bought jewelry. He couldn’t live with himself after he cheated on me, so he sent cards and bought shoes and one of the ugliest couches I’ve ever seen.” Her chest heaved, but she couldn’t stop now.
“Those things weren’t for me, and I knew it. They were for him, to make him feel better.”
Seth’s eyes stormed as he watched her, and Jenna felt very close to tears. This wasn’t how she’d imagined tonight would go at all.
In the next breath, he crossed the distance between them and gathered her into his arms. She cried then, because he was so strong, and so perfect. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know.”
Jenna clung to him for a few seconds, and that was all she needed to calm down. She sniffed and backed up, knowing she looked a wreck,
first from all the yard work and now with the crying. How embarrassing.
“But baby, this gift is about you. I saw this woman’s stand, and I went over to see if there was something you’d like. I thought about you, and what I knew about you. I found these, and I knew instantly that I wanted you to have them. So I bought them for you. Not to make myself feel better or to ease some guilt. But so you’d know how I feel about you.”
He put his hand on the side of her face, and she looked up at him. “Jenna, I have strong feelings for you.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“I bought you the flowers so you’d know,” he said. “And I’m not gonna lie. It hurts that you threw them away. It feels like you threw me away.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”
He nodded, his eyes intense but soft at the same time. “Will you accept the earrings, please?”
“I’d love to,” she said, her voice cracking. Seth was so genuine, and so real, and Jenna didn’t want to hurt him.
He took them out of his pocket and slipped them into her palm. She gazed down at them, because they really were beautiful, and music was part of her heart and soul. “Thank you, Seth,” she whispered. “I love them.”
She looked up at him, something buzzing in her ears so loudly she couldn’t think properly. “I’m falling in love with you.” Her face crumpled as she started crying again. “And I’m terrified.”
Winner barked and whined, but Seth didn’t even look at the dog. “We’ll go slow,” he said. “Or fast. Or whatever you want.” He leaned down and touched his lips to her forehead. “You just have to talk to me, and tell me what you’re thinking. Then I won’t do things that bother you.”
“Okay.” She drew herself straight and inhaled deeply. “Now let’s eat. I’m starving, and I really don’t want cold barbecue beef sandwiches.”
Before Seth could say anything, the front door opened, and Isaac called, “Jenna! I’m home. Ooh, something smells good.”
Jenna spun away from Seth and the doorway leading to the living room and Isaac. She wiped her face, sniffed, and plucked the tea towel from the handle of the fridge. She buried her face in it as Seth greeted her brother.
“Staying for dinner?” Isaac asked.
“Yep,” Seth said. “Jenna says you’ve been busy at the hospital.”
“So busy,” Isaac said. Jenna lowered the towel in time to see him step over to the slow cooker. “Oh, barbecue beef. Hey, Jenn.” He peered at her, clearly seeing her distress. “I’ll go shower first, if that’s okay.”
“Fine,” Jenna said.
Isaac retraced his steps, pausing for a moment in front of Seth. He said nothing, though, and continued upstairs.
Jenna wanted to know what that was about, but she wasn’t sure she could handle another hard conversation tonight.
“He’s protective of you,” Seth said. “I get that.”
“Is that why he laughed when I mentioned you were available? Before he knew we were dating.”
“I have no idea,” Seth said. “You should ask him that.”
“When I told him we were seeing each other, he seemed fine with it.” She pulled plates out of the cupboard and handed him one. She took a roll and forked some meat onto it from the slow cooker. “Oh, and I have that peach dessert my grandmother used to make.”
“Pudding peaches?” Seth asked, laughing in the next moment. “I used to love that stuff. Maybe that’s why Isaac’s irritated with me. I’d come over just for that after the holidays.” He chuckled as she got the dessert out of the fridge. “And you said you didn’t cook.”
“I didn’t,” she insisted. “It’s instant pudding.”
“It’s awesome.” He spooned a huge serving onto his plate and picked up two rolls. The conversation moved on, and Jenna was grateful for that. Isaac seemed to take forever in the shower, and she and Seth had finished eating by the time he returned to the kitchen wearing a pair of sweats and an old St. Mark’s of Dallas T-shirt.
“Looks amazing, Jenn,” he said, making himself two sandwiches as well.
“Why don’t you like me and Jenna dating?” Seth asked, and Jenna sucked in a breath.
Isaac, however, laughed. “Oh, you know, Seth.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah.” Isaac took some pudding peaches and joined them at the table. “You have a singular focus, bro.” He took a bite of his sandwich and looked at Jenna. After swallowing, he added, “And you already have a lot taking that focus. The ranch. The dogs. Your parents.” He shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I don’t think you can handle Jenna too.”
“Handle me?” she asked, her voice almost as loud as a yell.
“Oh, I can’t handle her,” Seth said, laughing. Isaac chuckled too, but Jenna had no idea what was funny about what either of them had said.
“But Isaac, I’m trying.” Seth leaned forward and looked at her brother. “I’m really trying, because I really like your sister.” Their eyes locked, and Jenna wished she could speak Silent Male, because they were clearly saying something to one another she didn’t understand.
Isaac finally nodded, and then he said, “Got any tips? I’ve been out with Luisa once, and I feel like I’m drowning.”
“You do?” Jenna asked.
“Don’t text late at night,” Seth said, reaching over and taking Jenna’s hand in his. “That’s helped me the most.” He pressed his lips to her wrist, sending fire straight into her veins. “Not that I don’t like texting your sister all night—”
“Okay, enough,” Isaac said loudly, and the two of them laughed again. Jenna basked in the sense of family she felt with them. The three of them had palled around together as kids, though she’d always gotten the impression that Isaac and Seth put up with her more than welcomed her.
But now…that had shifted. She was welcome in their group, and she felt like she was coming home all over again.
She looked up at Seth, and he bent down to kiss her.
“Okay,” Isaac yelled. “Gross. I can’t eat like this.”
Seth laughed and laughed, and Jenna stood to clean up their plates, a giggle coming from her mouth too. She watched Seth and Isaac continue to talk, and it was exactly how she’d fantasized having him for a boyfriend would be. Everyone got along. Everything was great.
She turned away from the scene, because she’d had the picture-perfect life before—at least on the outside. And she knew there was always something rotten inside, something there to stain things, something that could cause a crack that would make everything break wide open.
Maybe it’ll be different with Seth, she thought. And all she could do was hope and pray that she’d be right.
Chapter Seventeen
Seth woke when Winner and Thunder started barking. He’d been home for about an hour, and the crab legs he’d eaten at the opening couples dinner for Octoberfest were not playing nice with his stomach.
But his brothers were back from their speed dating, and he wanted to hear all about that. All four of them had ended up going, including Russ, and he sat up from where he’d fallen asleep on the couch.
The door that led into the garage opened, and a wall of noise entered the homestead. Thunder quieted, but Winner still barked like she’d seen a ghost and the whole town needed to know about it.
“Shush,” he told her as he looked into the kitchen. His brothers definitely had more energy than him, but he got up and went to join them.
“So?” He opened the fridge and pulled out sweet tea. “Who’s going to start?”
A moment of silence fell on them, and then they exploded again, all of them talking at once. Seth laughed, because it was so like them to act like this. Growing up had been an exercise in survival-of-the-fittest. Whoever had the longest reach was the best fed. Whoever had the loudest voice got his way. No wonder Rex was as animated as he was. As the youngest, he’d had to fight the hardest.
“Boys, boys,” he said. “Let’s sit down.” He grabb
ed the candy bowl they used for their card games and took it to the table. Travis followed him the closest, sitting with a loud sigh. “No luck tonight?” Seth asked.
“It was actually fun,” Travis said. “I got a couple of numbers.”
“Yeah, now he’s just got to figure out how to dial,” Griffin teased. Travis didn’t argue, and Seth knew how hard it was to call a woman. Especially when he had to think about the past—and Travis hadn’t had the greatest luck with women.
“What about you, Russ?” Seth asked. “Did you meet anyone?”
“He disappeared after the first round,” Rex said, hooting. Russ’s face turned red, but he also didn’t dispute what his brother had said.
“You disappeared?” Seth asked, focusing only on Russ. “So you liked her?”
“Tell ‘im who it was,” Griffin said, and Seth realized his two younger brothers were definitely the ones making the most noise. They probably saw the whole thing as a joke, because they hadn’t had the same experiences with women as Travis, Russ, and Seth.
“Janelle Stokes,” Russ said. “And we had fun. I’m definitely going to call her again.”
“Or for the first time,” Rex teased.
“Janelle Stokes,” Seth said, surprise moving through him with the speed of a freight train. “Wow.”
“I know she has two kids,” Russ said. “And I know she’s older than me. And I know she’s beautiful.” He sighed, and Rex and Griffin pounced on him, mimicking him and teasing him some more.
Russ grinned, and he took the abuse, because it was all good-natured. Still. Janelle Stokes. The woman didn’t seem like Russ’s type at all. No, more like the librarian type that would scare anyone of any age into pure silence if they spoke out of turn.
Seth knew her—she was the best lawyer in town, and he’d used someone at her firm to help with his divorce. Not only that, but she was old Chestnut Springs blood too, and she was the strong, confident type of woman that hadn’t changed her name when she’d gotten married.
“What did you do?” he asked Russ. “On your date.”
