• You’re frustrated with a situation and having trouble sticking with it.
• You don’t know the best path forward after trying many options.
• You’ve become so emotional about the situation that some space or distance might help you think and act more clearly.
• You’re a deeply spiritual person and you want a second opinion from the universe.
Surrendering is a change in attitude and energy. You still can and might have to keep taking action steps regarding this situation. The difference is that surrendering takes your focus off of trying to aggressively problem solve, control the outcome of, or make sense of an issue and allows your energy, mind, and emotions a restful pause.
For this ritual, gather a piece of paper and something to write with, a very small bowl or shallow teacup, a handful of rose petals (dried or fresh—if fresh, wait until the rose starts wilting and enjoy the flower as long as you can), and a small crystal or natural stone you like or feel connected to.
1. Write down on a small slip of paper, in a sentence or two, whom or what you’re surrendering.
2. Take the paper and fold it up so it fits inside the bottom of your dish or cup.
3. Place the rose petals on top so they cover the paper. (You’re using roses because they symbolize beauty, divine order, and balance.)
4. Gently lay your stone or crystal on top of the rose petals, like a mystical paperweight.
Leave your surrender offering somewhere you will notice it—on top of your dresser or by your car keys—for eight days. (Eight is a number of eternity and power.) Whenever you see or think of this tangible surrender offering, remind yourself you’re letting the universe work on the situation while you take a step back. Watch for synchronicities from the universe as reminders that it’s working on this issue. After eight days, you can throw away the paper or keep your surrender offering until the situation resolves or you feel more peaceful about it.
Observe Your Thoughts
An empath’s thoughts can affect their energy, and while you don’t want to restrict or police your thoughts—as they can give you important information about how you’re feeling—mindfully observing your overly dramatic or negative thoughts is a healthy way to practice self-care.
When empaths get curious about anything—an interaction with a person, the outcome of a situation, or even their own thought patterns—they engage witnessing energy and enlist the eagle perspective of the higher self. There’s no judgment or shame, just a little housecleaning in your head!
1. Get curious when a thought gets your attention as possibly overly dramatic or negative. For example, if you think “This will never work out for me” while you’re looking at homes to buy, get curious about what’s behind that thought and notice that you are feeling doubtful, frustrated, and tired.
2. Ask yourself: “Do I really believe this thought?” You might realize that you actually do believe you can buy a house, but it’s going to take more time and effort than you anticipated. Shifts in approach and expectation are probably required.
3. Ask yourself: “Is this thought mine or someone else’s?” It’s very easy for an empath to take in what others are thinking and believing. You might realize that the thought started when you spoke to your mom months ago and she was pessimistic about the idea of you purchasing your first home. Or the thought might be one you picked up as a child because money was very tight for your parents and they never owned a home when you were growing up.
4. Revise your overly dramatic or negative thoughts to something honest yet kind and encouraging, like “It might be a difficult, long process at times, but I can buy a home I love.”
Becoming aware of your thoughts and then examining and revising overly negative ones can truly change your energy, your attitude, your action steps, and even the outcome of a situation. While thoughts do not create your reality, they can positively influence the way you move through your life and the world.
CHAPTER 5 Work with the Energy of Spaces
Each space has its own unique energy. Empaths can quickly sense the energy of spaces, and you might walk into a space—like a yoga studio you’re considering joining—and immediately feel at home, or you might walk into a store where you’re applying for a job and feel that the energy doesn’t mesh well with yours. In these examples, you’d also want to consider the classes a yoga studio offers or the rates a business pays its employees before making a choice. But empaths will put a lot of weight on the feelings they pick up about a space, which could be the deciding factor.
A friend and her partner were moving to a new town and had only one weekend to pick out a home! Their realtor had a dozen places to show them, and after they looked at the first house, my friend’s partner said, “This is the one.” My friend rolled her eyes. “We still have to look at the others.” Her partner sighed. “Okay, but this is our house. It’s just a feeling I have.” Sure enough, eleven houses later, my friend admitted that her partner had been right. Yet it was also essential that this couple look at all their other options too. Trusting your empath instincts does not mean following them blindly.
In this chapter, we’ll nurture the energy of any space you find yourself in. When a space has an energy that really resonates with you, it can have a huge positive impact on your own energy. We’ll also explore techniques to improve the vibes in a space with challenging energy.
Create a Nature Nest
When you can’t get outside to immerse yourself in nature’s healing energy, try making a nature nest indoors. Your nest could live on a corner of your desk or in a nook in your bedroom, on the balcony of your apartment, or in the center of your kitchen table.
Create a small nature nest indoors and notice how this changes the vibes of the entire space. It might be made up of houseplants, fresh or dried flowers, natural stones, crystals, candles, incense, and/or figurines (of spirit animals, for instance) that are meaningful to you. Small energy “power spots” that are curated in your home, office, or even a hotel room can have a positive, saturating effect on a space as well as on your energy.
Every day before I sit down to write, I create a nature nest beside my workstation that usually consists of fresh flowers or a small plant, one or two large crystals, a candle, and a few tiny angel figurines. You might consider bringing in an example from each of the four natural elements: fire, water, air, and earth.
Candles and incense are lovely “fire” energy enhancement tools, but always use them responsibly, never leave them unattended, and fully extinguish them when done. Share an image of your nature nest on social media with the hashtags #selfcareforempaths and #naturenest.
Call On Archangel Michael for Grounding and Protection
I refer to Archangel Michael as the hardest-working archangel in show business! This angel is certainly one of the most called upon and beloved spirit helpers, yet rest assured that Michael can work with countless people at once. That’s partly because angels exist largely in the energetic, as opposed to physical, realm, and archangels in particular have an enormous energy signature. Angels (who, like energy-sensitive humans, have a thinner emotional skin that absorbs a lot) love to support empaths like you. Archangels each have a unique energy and specialties. Archangel Michael’s energy is grounding, formidable, and secure, and his specialties include protection, courage, faith, and strength. You might call on Michael to be with you in a space:
• When you’re in a new space but have not yet gotten used to or warmed up the energy of this space.
• If you have trouble going to sleep at night in a certain space.
• If you want to feel more confident or powerful in a space, like at your office or at a venue where you will be performing.
• Whenever you want to create an energy buffer zone around yourself in crowded spaces, like large train or airport terminals. Think of Michael as an energy bodyguard!
• When you sense leftover energy from a past occupant of a space (or even a wandering spirit).
/> • When you find yourself in a space that makes you nervous or requires courage, like a hospital or courtroom.
You can perform this quick ritual anytime you need Archangel Michael’s grounding, protective energy:
1. Quiet your mind and call on Archangel Michael. If you’re at home, close your eyes. If you’re in public, just think of this spirit helper’s name. If you have an image of Michael, call that to mind too. You might also picture Michael as a blue-tinged ball of light or as a human who looks like you but with giant feather wings.
2. Notice if you feel an energy shift. Archangel Michael has a strong energy, so you might feel a significant shift. If the energy feels the same, don’t fret—this angel always shows up and quickly.
3. Tell Archangel Michael in your thoughts what you need assistance with—like feeling comfortable in a new space, protecting your energy in a hectic crowd, or getting a good night’s sleep.
4. Take a few deep breaths as this archangel’s energy works its magic around you. Quickly picture Archangel Michael beside you (and you may feel an energy on one side of your body, like gentle pressure against your right arm), holding your hand, or lightly placing his hands on your shoulders (again, you could feel gentle pressure any of those places on your body). You can also picture Michael simply standing in the corner of a room guarding the energy around you.
5.Go about your activities normally. One important note: If you’re genuinely feeling physically or emotionally unsafe in a space, enlist help from other humans ASAP.
As you try the exercises in this chapter, notice how you feel before and after. Stick with rituals that prove consistently beneficial to you, but periodically try new self-care practices—that will keep your energy curious, open, and flexible!
Pull Up Energy from the Earth to Feel Rooted and Stable
Sometimes our lives—and the physical spaces we inhabit—can be in a state of transition. A childhood home might be sold to someone outside the family; you could move to a new city and suddenly be in many unfamiliar spaces; or you might feel disconnected from the office and job you’ve worked at for years yet not know where the next office and job will be.
Change—including changes to familiar spaces or being in new physical spaces—can be disorienting and even a little scary. I remind clients that even really positive changes—like moving into your dream home—can be unsettling. Some part of the transition could even trigger a past trauma and make you feel extra vulnerable.
Pulling up stabilizing energy from the earth reminds empaths that they’re already home, here on this planet, wherever they go. You can pull up energy from the earth to feel more rooted anytime, anywhere.
1. Root chakra meditation: Sit comfortably on the ground or floor, and imagine your root chakra, which is located at the base of your spine near the tailbone, as a cord of light that is stretching down into the earth. Picture the cord extending through any wood or concrete between you and the earth, even if you’re in a building many stories high. Take some deep breaths and let the earth’s energy come up and replenish your root chakra. You might feel more clearheaded, steady, or assured afterward.
2. Rooting through the feet: There are also powerful chakras on the bottom of your feet—just thinking of them might awaken these energy centers and cause physical sensations there. You can also gently massage the bottom of your feet to connect with these chakras. As you walk around or place your feet on the ground, no matter where you are, remind yourself these chakras are connected to the earth’s energy and drawing up that stabilizing force into your own system with every step, like drawing water from a well.
3. Thanking the earth: There’s an exchange going on, so the earth was nourished by your energy as well. You can also thank the earth in a prayer or blessing, or by making a donation of time or money to an environmental charity.
Since the earth is our collective home, being good to the planet could be considered part of an empath’s self-care routine. Identify the ways you’re already living green and find a few new ways to up your game!
Rely On Healing Touch to Feel More Comfortable
Gentle, loving touch is a primal way to find comfort. Healing physical touch can help empaths feel more comfortable in physical spaces that might be energetically challenging, like:
• A hotel room you’ve never slept in before.
• A doctor’s or dentist’s office.
• An office where you’re interviewing for a job.
• A room filled with people who might make you anxious, like a restaurant where you’re meeting a partner’s family for the first time.
• Spaces where the energy is intense, like a crowded outdoor concert.
The following are ways to create healing touch.
• Snuggling up with a pet, a partner, or your cozy bedding.
• Gently patting your leg with your hand, or just resting your hands on your legs if you’re sitting down.
• Sitting cross-legged (like in yoga class) so you can tuck your feet underneath you or even hold your feet with your hands.
• Holding someone else’s hand.
• Holding a small stone, spirit animal or angel figurine, or empath talisman in your hand.
• Getting a hug from someone else or giving yourself a hug.
• Lathering up with a soap or gentle scrub in the shower.
• Resting your hand on your tummy or giving it a gentle rub.
• Massaging lotion into your hands or feet.
Whenever a human interacts with another person, there’s an energy exchange—for empaths this is doubly true. The same is true of the energy exchange between empaths and physical spaces. Use healing touch to warm up the energy of any space you’re in.
Cultivate an Empath Sanctuary in Your Home
Having a place in your home designated for quality retreat-and-recover time might encourage you to seek out more healthy retreat-and-recover time. This sanctuary can even be an oasis to look forward to when you’re not home, like being able to stay calmer during a busy afternoon deadline at work knowing your empath sanctuary is waiting.
Your sanctuary could be a place that’s all your own, like a painting studio/shed in your backyard, or it could be a shared space, like a bathroom in a home that you share with others. With shared spaces, you can develop a quick protocol for transforming this space into a sanctuary. For instance, silently set the intention that this space is now designated for sanctuary time and add in any sanctuary elements you like—putting on soothing music or spraying aromatherapy.
Here are questions to consider when creating your sanctuary.
• Where in the home does my energy feel most peaceful, open, and inspired?
• Where and when is it easy for me to have privacy?
• Which creative hobbies and intellectual or spiritual pursuits might I enjoy in my sanctuary?
• What sounds do I want to hear in my sanctuary?
• What energy or mood do I want to cultivate in my sanctuary?
• Is there a smell I’d like to experience in my sanctuary?
• Will there be any rules for myself or others about this sanctuary?
• How will I unwind in my sanctuary?
• Which healing, sacred, or special objects might I keep in my sanctuary?
• How will I decorate my sanctuary or will there be a visual theme?
• How can I make this space physically comfortable?
Cultivate an empath sanctuary that’s a true place of refuge!
Shield with Bracelets in Public Spaces
Empaths are sensitive to both beauty and healing touch, so wearing attractive bracelets that feel good against your skin might be something you already do! But did you know that these bracelets can also act as an energy shield? Energy can travel up your arms, so having a bracelet or even a string on each wrist can be a way to minimize absorbing unwanted energy (and therefore banking or conserving your own). Some empaths believe the left is the receiving side of the body, and focus o
n that area. (I personally find it helpful to wear bracelets on both wrists.)
Bracelets can be a useful shielding tool when you’re at a busy restaurant, you’re attending a large conference, or anytime you’re in a space with a lot of hustle and bustle. It’s simply important that you find the look of your bracelets pleasing and the feel of them on your wrists comfortable. Some empaths prefer bracelets of small beads made from natural stones and crystals, which can help you feel even more grounded when you wear them. Here are some crystals and stones that empaths might enjoy wearing.
• Rose quartz: Connects to love, peace, and heart energy.
• Clear quartz: Encourages witnessing energy.
• Jasper: Promotes healing, earthly grounding, and balance.
• Jade: Attracts luck, grace, and blessings—like empaths, jade is both beautiful and strong.
• Moonstone: Enables mystical power, dreams, manifestation, and the imagination.
• Amethyst: Embodies awakening energy and intuition.
• Amber: Symbolizes power, ancient wisdom, and soul growth.
Try wearing any type of bracelets the next time you’re in a large or hectic space and notice if you feel more grounded and calm.
Observe Empath Boundaries in the Digital Age
The digital universe—which includes the Internet, social media, and your phone—can be considered a specific space, and empaths always feel more comfortable when they develop ground(ing) rules around navigating unique spaces. Being more connected to others in the digital era has been a blessing for empaths, allowing them to find other empaths all over the world with whom they can share information about the empath experience. Yet it’s important to be mindful of your empath sensitivity while you interact with digital offerings and platforms. In particular, you should:
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