Hellogon

by John Booth

  Lady Ilarna had the grace to look ashamed before lifting her head proudly. “I have proved to be a good Castlemaine, have I not, my lord?”

  “You’ve proved to be an excellent and indispensable Castlemaine.” Peter agreed and Ilarna looked as though she wanted to leave and get on with her job. However, there were another couple of things he needed to raise with her before she could go.

  “Tell me, how has the new training course been received by the juvenile Vampires, my most excellent Castlemaine?”

  Peter had introduced some of the training methods of the Establishment to the young Vampires. This proved hard and frustrating work for Peter as he had no access to Establishment books and manuals, working entirely from memory.

  In particular, he wanted to teach the young Vampires to think about their world and to discover how Han No was manipulating them.

  He started a course where scenarios were presented to the students. They had to propose explanations as to what was going on. A student didn’t get good marks for discovering the ‘truth’, they were marked highest for finding multiple answers to the problem and then evaluating how likely each of them were. Peter developed all the scenarios and answers so another Vampire could teach the course.

  He discovered to his surprise that Lord Drogwar, the most bloodthirsty Vampire he’d met so far, took a considerable interest and proved so good at it that Peter appointed him as principle lecturer. Though Peter wasn’t aware of it, several adults were sitting in on the course, including Lady Ilarna. He would have been even more surprised to discover Sal was taking the course unofficially and had persuaded Lord Drogwar to mark her answers to the questions.

  Peter was stunned when Lord Drogwar suggested that the students should be encouraged to look for anomalous data included in each problem. The students were required to assess whether particular data was likely to be true. Peter knew if these people could be persuaded to stop killing each other they were going to make formidable negotiators with Earth.

  “I can say with some certainty,” Lady Ilarna replied carefully, “that your new course has been received with universal acclaim by every student that is any good at it. Only a few of the Lords oppose it, and they only do that because they think it may result in a generation of Vampires capable of out-thinking them.”

  “Is the likelihood of the Lord Vampires trying to depose me increasing or decreasing?”

  “No one is ready to act. Even those most opposed to your reign recognise the wisdom of your recent actions. Lord Baldan has suggested they should hold off doing anything against you until things settle down. You are proving too effective to kill.”

  “How do you hear all these things?” Peter asked, certain Ilarna would never tell him her methods. To his surprise, she did.

  “I have cultivated the slaves. They hear everything that happens in the castle. Only one person in this castle has better access to them than I.”

  “I can’t imagine which Lord that could be.” Peter was convinced all the Vampire Lords treated slaves like dirt.

  “The person in question is Saloni Dark, my Lord. I am surprised you didn’t know of it.”

  Peter gave Ilarna a shocked look. This was something he would have to take up with Sal. She was always off doing something these days. Except for at night he hardly saw her at all.

  Thinking of his evening plans reminded Peter he had some other important engagements to do first. He looked at his watch and realised he was already late for a meeting with Solly. He made his excuses to Ilarna and set off down the corridor at a run. If there was one person on Hellogon he didn’t want to offend right now, it was Solly.

  Solly paced up and down the meeting room. “You’re late, Peter.” He complained as soon as Peter set foot through the door.

  “I’m sorry, Solly. Running the Vampire Empire isn’t easy.”

  Solly grumbled loudly. “Vampire Empire? There aren’t enough of you left to make up a battalion, even if you roped in the children. You should delegate to the other Vampire Lords.”

  “Possibly. But more to the point, has Han No agreed to meet me? I’m tired of the endless prevarication.”

  “It isn’t my fault, Peter. I’ve got an answer from Han No, but you won’t like it. He told me he has no intention of seeing you in the foreseeable future. He said you should ask him once you hold your first grandchild.”

  Peter banged his fist hard on the table, making Solly jump. His scaly wings spread and his clawed hands moved into a defensive position. “I won’t be treated like this by him, Solly. If he won’t meet with me voluntarily then I’ll force him to come to the table.”

  Solly spread his scaly arms in supplication. “Peter, my boy. You shouldn’t make threats you can’t deliver on. Perhaps you should forget about Han No and turn your attention to the Warlocks in Zandar. I hear they’re gathering their strength and are poised to strike. Their leader Dallman is a massive unthinking beast of a man and he has good reason to hate Vampires. Best for you to strike first, while you can.”

  Peter exhaled slowly to get his breathing under control. “You’re correct, Solly. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt since I came here, it’s that the Warlocks can’t be trusted to keep the peace. I just need a little more time before I raise an army of Vampires along with our friends, the Grimms. We’ll see their bodies rotting and floating down the River Blood before much longer, believe me.”

  “Now that’s more like the Peter I know.” Solly said with a toothy grin. “Once you’ve been blooded in battle, Han No will no longer seem important. You need to discover who your enemies are.”

  Peter went over to the drinks tray and poured two drinks. He passed a glass to Solly who sipped from it appreciatively. “I need to visit Earth and talk to my mum, Solly. I haven’t seen her in a few weeks and I don’t want her to worry about me.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Peter. Han No can be very sensitive about Vampires visiting the Earth.” Solly frowned for a minute before speaking again, “but I don’t see how a quick visit, in and out, can do much harm. You do only intend to visit your mother, don’t you?

  Peter put on his most innocent expression, “Of course, I dare say we won’t stay longer than it takes to have a nice cup of tea and eat some pastries.”

  “We?” Solly enquired, his frown deepening.

  “I have to take Sal with me, Solly. Mum made me promise to bring her with me. Didn’t I mention it?”

  “No, you didn’t. But you had a lot of things on your mind, so I suppose that excuses it. Okay, Peter, when do you want to come over?”

  Peter gave a mental sigh of relief. He could have easily gone to Earth through one of the unregistered gates, but he didn’t want Han No’s suspicions aroused. He knew Solly would repeat every single word of this conversation to Han No.

  “Tomorrow morning. That’ll be Sunday evening on Earth and I can be sure Mum will be in.”

  “Very well. If you meet me at the castle gate I’ll take you through to the shop.”

  “Fantastic!” Peter said. He poured Solly another drink, and spent half an hour quizzing him on how well Manchester United were doing.

  Sal was annoyed when Peter informed her they were going to Earth. She told him it was inconvenient as she had some work to do. When he asked her what work, she changed the subject.

  Later on, when they were lying on their bed, Sal said she would be very happy to come to Earth.

  * * *

  Peter opened the door to the flat feeling a bit like a thief. Since he no longer lived in it, it seemed to him he should knock at the door. On the other hand, he knew his mum would never forgive him if he did.

  “Mum, I’m home.” Peter walked into the living area. His mum was talking earnestly to a man on the sofa. As soon as she heard his voice, she stopped and got up and rushed over to greet them. She gave them both a kiss and a warm hug.

  Peter watched the man, who had his back to them, stand up. You could have knocked Peter over with a feather when man turned aro
und and he recognised his gym instructor, Mr Conner. Mr Conner smiled warmly at him.

  “Hi Peter, it’s good to see you looking so well.” Mr Conner offered his hand. Peter shook it and turned to Sal.

  “This is Mr Conner, my gym teacher.” Peter was careful not to use the word ‘Establishment,’ as strictly speaking it was an official secret.

  “And you must be Saloni Dark.” Mr Conner offered his hand. “Let’s not stand on ceremony. You can both call me Mike as Peter is no longer a pupil at school.”

  “Mike has come to tell us something very important, Peter. So it’s lucky you’ve turned up.” Mel invited them to sit down and rushed to the kitchen area to get more cups and saucers.

  “I understand you’ve been visiting foreign parts, Peter,” Mike said as he sat back down on the sofa. Peter took one of the chairs and Sal sat next to Mike. She huddled so no part of her body touched Mike. Mike ignored her and spent his time watching Peter.

  “I’ve been to see some of my father’s relatives and friends from before the days when he joined the… group.” Peter struggled to avoid the ‘E’ word.

  “Have you had a… successful time there?” Mike enquired.

  “It’s been very… interesting.” Peter suddenly knew the question his mother had avoided on their last visit. The question was, ‘Does the Establishment know about Hellogon?’

  Mel arrived with cups and tea. The next few minutes involved sorting out the drinks. When they settled, Peter decided to take the initiative.

  “What’s so urgent that you’ve come all the way here in person, Mr… er, Mike?”

  “Well I have some good news and some bad news, I’m afraid. There’s no easy way to tell you. Commandant Hawkins is dead. He was found hanging in his garage three days ago. His wife is devastated, and the whole village is in mourning.”

  “I don’t see how any good news can flow from that.”

  Peter never liked Jeremy’s father, even before he cut the marks on Peter’s back with his cane, but he didn’t want him dead. There had been far too much tragedy in that family. Peter worried it might be his fault. After all, he killed the Commandant’s son only a few months ago.

  Mike reached over and placed a hand on Peter’s knee. “Its okay, son, his death wasn’t your fault. I can assure you of that. We know because he left two notes explaining his actions.”

  “Two notes seems a little excessive.” Sal said.

  “One of the notes was from his son, Jeremy,” Mike explained.

  Peter spoke sharply. “Jeremy didn’t leave a note.” Peter had wanted a note to explain Jeremy’s attack on him. He was told no note had been found.

  “Would you like to read it?” Mike asked.

  “Yes, I rather think I would.” Peter was surprised how calm his voice sounded. The thinking part of Peter seemed to be receding away from the room.

  Mike fumbled about in a briefcase he took from the side of the sofa. He handed it over solemnly to Peter, who took it in his hands and found he couldn’t focus his eyes on it. All he could see was the vague shapes of the familiar elegant handwriting that typified his best friend. He just couldn’t get his mind to work and to read the words.

  “Peter, why don’t you go and read it in your room?” Sal suggested as if from a hundred miles away. That’s a good idea, Peter thought as he stumbled blindly to his feet. Sal jumped to her feet as she steadied him and helped him walk to his room.

  They shut the door behind them, locking Mike and Mel out.

  “You were right. They make ideal partners in the field,” Mike said quietly to Mel. Mel bit her lip and nodded, staring anxiously at the door to her son’s room.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Revenge

  Dear Commandant Hawkins,

  Yes, dear father, that is exactly how I have always seen you, as Commandant Hawkins, never once in my life as Daddy or Dad. By the time you read this, I shall be among the dear departed and hopefully, at this very moment, a cute male angel will be taking me away to screw my little butt until his wings fall off.

  Don’t looked shocked by my words, dear Commandant, as we both know the apple rarely falls far from the tree, does it?

  I remember all those Fridays through all those years when you would punish me for failing to be as good a student as Peter. You would punish me so carefully, determined no mark would be visible by the time I undressed for gym class on Tuesdays. That was the nearest we ever came to love, you and I, the caress of your strap on my red little bottom. I was never as good as Peter at the things that mattered to you. Well, only in the annual tournament and as we both came to realise, even that was a lie.

  I have always preferred the thought of sex with men over that of women. Give me a hot throbbing cock over a smelly damp vagina any day of the week. You knew of course. How could you of all people not see the signs? From my delight in fancy clothes to the way I swung my hips as I walked, you knew what I was and you hated me for it. You must hate yourself a very great deal.

  I fell in love with Peter from the day I met him. Lovely Peter, he was always a boy’s boy, with his pleasant outgoing nature and his ever-present desire to please. I coveted his ass, dear father, from before I realised there was a commandment to break. I was always dreaming about the two of us running a restaurant out in the country, or perhaps a fashion business. That was long before I was old enough to discover the extraordinary high of sexual pleasure.

  But my Petey was always as straight as a die, though I did get some small blessed joy out of him in the early years before he discovered girls. Why are the most fuckable men always straight, dear Commandant? I wonder if you know.

  I could not live the lie in the end, though I tried to so much for you, I really did. I guess I have seen first hand the bitterness living that lie brings and I would not wish it on myself or, God forbid, a child of mine.

  On my eighteenth birthday, I told Peter my real feeling, my heart’s desire. But it was not Peter that couldn’t cope with bringing my homosexuality out into the open. It turned out to be me. I ran away from his friendship because I couldn’t have his love. I grew bitter and angry that he was straight and I was gay. It became his fault in my twisted little mind.

  By the time of the tournament, I was out of my head with self-pity and a desire to hurt Peter every bit as much as I thought he had hurt me. He hurt me with his understanding, his kindness, and his desire to be my friend despite all my desires to fuck him in the arse until he bled. I didn’t start the contest with a plan to kill him. I just wanted to teach him a lesson. I was behaving like an almighty fool.

  With my emotions all over the place, I delivered what should have been a fatal blow on my beloved Peter’s neck. Even as I struck him, a part of my mind was saying don’t, don’t, don’t. But my blow didn’t kill him. He had fooled both of us for all those years. His speed of reaction saved him and he managed to avoid most of my strike. I was so happy to see him still breathing, Commandant, even as I realised I had attempted to murder him. I was ecstatic I had failed.

  I think I might still be alive now if you had done the right thing and recognised Peter had won and I had lost disgracefully. I would have served my term in prison without complaint because they would have been years of punishment I know I deserved. I tried to kill my best friend. I needed to be punished for that crime. But you couldn’t bear that humiliation, could you? Especially as we both recognised at that moment that Peter always chose to let me win.

  Peter might not love me the way I would wish him too, but I know he loves me, Commandant. Loves me unselfishly in a way I do not think you are capable of understanding, loves me for everything I am.

  I’ve been a very naughty boy, Commandant. In some ways, I am sorry you will not get the chance to punish me for it, for I would welcome cleansing pain. I’ve been into your safe. The hidden one in the loft that mother knows nothing about. You shouldn’t have used your date of birth in reverse order as the combination. That was careless of you.

  I have been into
your safe a number of times over the last year and I have read about things I would not have believed possible. That hardly matters now. The important thing is that I gained access to your mission kit, the one you are supposed to hand back when you come back, the one with the suicide phial that spells instant death on swallowing.

  I am gone now, dear Commandant. I took your pill with me for a confrontation I’ve staged with Peter. Only a fool or someone who loves me dearly would turn up after all I have done to him. Peter isn’t a fool, but I’m certain he’ll be there.

  I know right now that you are squirming with the thought of the dishonour I am bringing on the family. Remember though that I have read the documents in your safe, so I know the family name of Hawkins was hopelessly dishonoured before I was six years old.

  I love Peter. Tell him that. I was just not brave enough to live this perverted Establishment life and not strong enough to leave it and make my way in the world on my own.

  I want to die with Peter’s hand touching me, dear Commandant. It is a nasty thing for me to want, but when he finds out about this letter and reads it, I am sure he will forgive me.

  Respectfully yours,

  Your son,

  Jeremy

  Sal carefully took the letter from Peter’s trembling hands. She finished reading it long before he did and she knew he had finished as soon as the words, ‘I forgive you’ left his lips.

  Sal put the letter to one side and held Peter tightly as his tears flowed and he made a keening sound, rocking his body backwards and forwards. It was a long time before he was able to turn to face her and collapse into her arms.

  * * *

  An hour after Peter and Sal walked into his bedroom they walked out together. Sal had wiped Peter’s face and got him to the point where he looked almost normal. Peter had the letter in his hand and he gave it back to Mike Conner as if it was just a piece of paper. It took Peter an incredible amount of effort to do that.