Dropping onto the bed, I moved to the middle and bit down on my lip. I had never done anything like this before, and I was both nervous and excited.
“Roger…” I started to say as I sat up, and he went completely still.
“We don’t have to do this, Anna.”
I smiled when I saw the tenderness in his eyes. “I want to. It’s just, I’ve never done this before, so…”
His hand cupped the side of my face. “Neither have I.”
“Why me? What made you want to do this with me?”
He frowned and broke eye contact with me for the briefest of moments. Something moved across his face, and I wanted more than anything for him to share his thoughts with me.
When his eyes met mine again, he spoke so softly I could barely hear him. “I want to explore every inch of your body and memorize everything. Every moan, whispered plea, how your body reacts to my touch. I want to know it all. And I want you to feel me touching you, to memorize what it feels like to have my hands and mouth on your body.”
Swallowing hard, I let out a nervous laugh. Was it my imagination, or did that almost sound as if this would be our last time together?
I knew Roger had said he wanted to see where this went. I couldn’t help but keep thinking about his words back in Chicago. It was stupid; he was trying and being so vulnerable, so why did something feel off?
He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips while he ran his hand down my arm. Pushing me back onto the bed, he lifted my arm over my head, then reached for one of his neckties. He tied my left wrist to the headboard, ensuring I could slip out if I wanted to. Then he kissed along my neck, down my chest, and took one of my nipples into his mouth. I arched my back and moaned.
He went to work tying up my other hand. When he held up a third necktie, I raised my brows in question. “Blindfold?” A rush of wetness spread between my legs, and I had to rub them together to ease the throb.
“Lift your head.”
I did as he asked and blew out a shaky breath when he placed the necktie over my eyes.
“Is that okay?” he asked.
“Y-yes,” I breathed out.
Then his heat was gone.
“Roger?” I asked in a panicked voice.
“I’m right here, princess.”
The tension eased out of my body when I felt him. His hands moved slowly up each leg, gently spreading me open to him. The fact that I couldn’t see what he was going to do next made my body thrum with an awareness I never knew I possessed.
I jumped when he placed a kiss on my inner thigh. His hand landed on my lower stomach, and I felt my breath pick up.
Kiss me there, I silently urged.
“You’re trembling, Anna.”
“I want…I want…”
My voice trailed off as he blew hot air between my legs. A low moan escaped my lips, and I could not believe how much I needed to feel his mouth on me.
“What do you want?” he asked in a raspy voice.
“You…or, um…I want…oh, Roger, please. Please.”
“Do you want my mouth on your pussy?”
I sucked in a breath. “Yes,” I hissed.
And then he was there, sucking, licking. His hands cupped my ass, lifting so he could taste me better. It. Was. Heaven.
“Roger!” I cried out, tugging on the restraints. “I…I want to…”
He teased my clit with the tip of his tongue while he slipped his fingers inside of me.
What did I want? Him. My hands in his hair. Touching him.
Fuck, I wanted to touch him so badly, it was driving me insane.
“Un…tie me…please!” I gasped.
“Are you sure?” he asked. Then he put his mouth back over me, and I fell hard.
His name felt as if it was ripped from my very chest. My body trembled, the orgasm starting from the tips of my toes and rushing up my body. Stars exploded behind my eyes, and even with the blindfold on, it felt like the room lit up.
Ripple after ripple of pleasure rolled through my body as Roger kept up his endless teasing with both his mouth and fingers.
“Stop. Can’t. Breathe. Stop!”
He pulled away, and I was suddenly left with nothing but cold air swirling around me. The heat of his mouth, his body, was instantly gone.
Suddenly, the blindfold was gone as well. I blinked my eyes open, and before I could adjust to the light, his mouth was on mine.
God, the way this man kissed.
I would forever be ruined because if I was sure of anything, it was that no man would ever be able to make me feel the way Roger did. Not with their kisses, their touch, or their lovemaking.
“I’m going to fuck you now,” he rasped against my mouth.
The only thing I could do was nod and whisper, “Yes.”
Roger
MY ENTIRE BODY shook as I stared down at the goddess tied up on the bed.
When I removed the blindfold and those blue eyes blinked open, a pain so beautiful—yet so fucking frightening—hit me in the chest and left me nearly unable to breathe. The way Anna looked up at me made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I had ever felt this way before.
The love in her eyes screamed out her feelings for me. They begged for me to make love to her, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. Not now. The moment those eyes met mine, I knew…I was falling in love with her. Emotion pounded in my chest. I couldn’t make love to her, not with my heart feeling this way. I would not let myself get hurt again. I couldn’t. No, there was absolutely no way I could make love to her right now, no matter how much I wanted to. So, I did what I did best.
Leaning down, I took her mouth with mine and kissed her until we both needed air. Those eyes still pierced through me as if she was looking right into my goddamn soul. She didn’t need to utter a word; it was clear to me.
She had fallen in love with me.
With my mouth inches from hers, I softly said, “I’m going to fuck you now.”
Her head barely moved as she whispered a response to my crude words. “Yes.”
I’d never moved so fast in my life. I quickly untied one of her hands, turned her over, grabbed her free hand, and pushed it back over her head as I slammed into her hard and fast.
“Roger!” Annalise cried out.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked, my stomach dropping. I was losing control. Fucking asshole.
“No. No, I just…you’re so deep like this, and I wasn’t…expecting that.”
I closed my eyes and tried to gain my composure. I was such an asshole for entering her that way. I slowly pulled out before pushing back in hard. We both moaned as I went in as deep as I could.
“Roger…I need…”
I pushed back in again. Harder.
“God, please,” she whispered. “I need my other hand free.”
Without even thinking, I reached over and pulled the tie loose. “Grab the bed and don’t look at me.”
She glanced over her shoulder with a confused look on her face. “What?”
My cock twitched inside of her as I closed my eyes and tried not to lose myself anymore. I looked at her and said, “I need you to not look at me, Annalise. I can’t go slow right now. I can’t.”
Her eyes softened—and there it was again. That look of love. I squeezed my eyes shut. What she said next nearly broke me.
“Don’t. Don’t hold back. I want you, Roger.”
That was all I had to hear. My eyes snapped open and I saw her hands on the bed frame and that ass tilted up, waiting for me. I pulled almost all the way out and pushed back in. Then I grabbed her hips and lost control.
I fucked her liked a man in need, or an asshole attempting to chase away his own feelings. It wouldn’t take me long to come, and even though I was acting like a total prick, I needed her to come. It was the only thing I needed…for her to experience pleasure.
I slipped my hand around her front until I found her clit.
A few circles, and I could feel her body winding up.
“Oh…yes…I’m going to come!” she cried out.
“That’s it. Come, Anna. I need you to fucking come. Now!”
The sound of my name ripped from her lips threw me over the edge. I sped up. Our bodies slammed together, mixing with our moans of pleasure. She called out my name once more, and I came so hard, I thought I was going to pass out.
I pumped hard and fast until every ounce of my cum had spilled into her body. Then I stilled as I stared down at her.
Her head had dropped to the bed and she pulled in breath after breath. She was perfect. Her wavy blonde hair fell around her. The skin on her back was so soft and smooth. I ran my hand down the middle of her back and then cupped her beautiful ass.
I could hear her breathing hard. When I started to pull out of her, she gasped.
I had acted like a goddamn savage because I was afraid of my own feelings. Pushing my hand through my hair, I closed my eyes and counted to ten before I pulled out of her more slowly. Annalise collapsed onto the bed.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
She let out a few mumbled words, but I could only make out, “I’m okay. Just burns a little.”
I moved and sat on the edge of the bed for a moment before I got up and walked toward the door. A feeling of numbness came over me as I realized what I had done. Instead of making love to her like I’d wanted to, I had fucked her. Even if she’d enjoyed it, I had done it for all the wrong reasons. To avoid my own fucking feelings.
“Goddamn it,” I whispered.
“Roger? What’s wrong?”
Without answering, I walked out of the spare bedroom and down to my room. One look at myself in the mirror, and I froze. I had just left Annalise in the spare bedroom. Walked away like she was nothing.
“What the fuck did I just do?” I whispered, staring at myself. I turned around to go back but then stopped.
A light knock on the door made me jump.
“Roger?” Annalise cracked open the door and saw me.
Our eyes met in the mirror. What would she think of me now? With the way I had just acted? Treated her?
She let her eyes wander around the room. When they landed on my bed, they widened, then filled with…sadness.
Guilt slammed into me for a plethora of reasons. The way I had just left her alone. The stupid idea that I couldn’t make love to her in a bed I’d shared with other women. For the way I was feeling. Confused…so fucking confused. My head swam, and I couldn’t talk to her right now. I needed a few minutes to get my head on straight.
“There’s a bathroom next door to the guest bedroom,” I said. “You can shower in there if you want.”
The look of pain on her face nearly brought me to my knees. She didn’t say a word, only backed out and closed the door.
Click.
I stood perfectly still, trying to hear if she was still there. After five minutes of standing in the middle of my bedroom naked, I moved to the door and opened it.
She wasn’t there.
I let out a breath, shut the door, and then made my way to my bathroom where I took a hot shower as fast as I could.
After dressing, I went in search of Anna. I needed to be honest with her about how I felt. The only problem was, I wasn’t sure I could be honest with myself.
I couldn’t find her anywhere. Not in the game room, not in the kitchen. My heart started to pound in my chest as I called out her name. I took the steps back upstairs two at a time and pushed open the door to the guest bedroom.
Annalise sat on the edge of the bed. She was dressed and had pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She’d never looked so beautiful. Her head slowly rose, and our eyes met.
“Why did you bring me into this room?” she asked.
“What?”
“This room. Why did you bring me into this room, Roger? Why not down to your bedroom? You could have easily tied me up to your bed frame. Why in here?”
My thoughts raced for an answer. “It was closer.”
Her head tilted ever so slightly. “What happened?”
“What do you mean?”
She stood quickly and sent me a withering glare. “Don’t play fucking stupid with me, Roger. What in the hell happened with you? You just left me in here like I was nothing but a woman you paid to fuck.”
I jerked my head back as if she’d slapped me across the face.
“You bring me to a spare bedroom, you tell me not to look at you, then you simply walk out and tell me to take a shower without you?”
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I…I needed a couple of minutes.”
Her brows pulled in tightly. “For what? You needed a couple of minutes for what? Is this some sick little game you like to play? How many other women have you tied up and done this with?”
My eyes widened in horror. “None. I told you, I’ve never tied up a woman before. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
Tears started to build in her eyes. “Who were you thinking about?”
I stared at her, unable to even form words.
“You tell me not to look at you, then you treat me like a mistake.”
I shook my head. “No, Anna.”
“Someone not even worthy enough to be in your own bed. Is that why you never brought me here to your house? Because I’m not good enough for your bed?”
“No, that’s not…” I took a step toward her and stopped.
“Who is she?”
I ran my hand down my face. “There isn’t anyone.”
“Who is she?” Annalise asked again softly.
I stood there like a fucking fool. Maybe it was better if she thought there was someone else. Things were getting too complicated. My feelings for her were growing into something I could not allow. I was fucking falling for her, and knowing how she felt about me… I couldn’t process it right then.
When I didn’t give her an answer, she wiped a tear away and started for the door.
My heart screamed out, Stop her.
I lifted my hand, then closed it into a fist and let her walk past me.
Closing my eyes, I attempted to make sense of the emotions that swirled around in my heart like a tornado.
The sound of the front door slamming snapped me out of my daze. I ran down the steps, through the house, and out the door.
“Where are you going?” I called out as she started down the long sidewalk toward the street.
“Home.”
I started toward her. “Annalise, you can’t walk home.”
She spun and shot me a look of pure anger. I stopped in my tracks. “I don’t need your help getting home.”
“How—?”
At that moment, a white Toyota Camry pulled up. Annalise turned and practically ran for it. I leaned down to see who it was, but all I could tell was that a woman was driving.
“There isn’t anyone, Annalise!” I shouted right before she shut the door and the car drove off.
I watched the road until I could no longer see the car.
“Fuck!” I shouted, pushing my hands into my hair. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
It took every ounce of strength I had to walk back into my house. The urge to go after her was so strong, I nearly drove my fist through the wall. But how in the hell could I explain it all to her? The reason I didn’t want her in my bed. Why I couldn’t let her look at me with such love in her eyes when all I’d wanted to do was hide from my own feelings. And to do that, I ended up fucking her instead of making love to her like I had wanted to.
“Christ, you’re fucked up, Carter,” I whispered as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. I headed out to the back porch, where I spent the next few hours trying to drink my feelings away.
I stood in front of the large window in my office and stared at the people walking down Main Street. Almost all of them were tourists. Another reason I wanted to move farther out of town. My eyes caught on a woman with blonde hair walking down the street, and I immediately knew
it was her.
Just like I knew she usually walked to the Bear Moon Café nearly every day for lunch.
Just like I knew every morning at seven she went to Black Rifle Coffee and ordered the same drink: a chai tea latte.
The ache in my chest grew with every step she took. When she’d passed the parking lot and moved out of view, I turned and walked back over to my desk.
It had been two weeks since she’d gotten into that car, which I now knew belonged to Elizabeth, her coworker at The Montclair.
Two weeks since I’d watched that tear slip from her eye and trail down her face before she wiped it away.
Two weeks since I’d realized I had fallen in love with her and acted like a coward because of it.
A knock on my office door startled me out of my thoughts.
Could it be Annalise? I doubted it.
“Roger?”
It was my brother’s voice, and I released the breath I’d been holding. “Come on in.”
The door opened, and Truitt walked in. He gave me a quick once-over and then shut the door. “Dad said you were in today.”
I nodded and pretended to be looking over a contract.
“Saryn wants to know if you’re free to join us for dinner tonight.”
With a forced smile, I shook my head. “I can’t tonight. I’ve got a bunch of contracts I need to look over for the city. They’re trying to purchase some land and turn it into a park.”
Truitt sat down in a leather chair on the other side of the desk. He looked around my office, which made me look.
There wasn’t anything special about this space. It housed my desk and two large leather chairs that sat opposite mine. To the left was a small conference table and a sofa. My degrees were in frames and hanging on the wall, along with a few personal photos that were placed around the office. That was my mother’s doing, not mine.
On the right side was a small bar cart, where I kept scotch, whiskey, and my father’s favorite gin. There was also a door that led to a private bathroom. Since the building housed my office, Truitt’s, and our father’s, we’d had a small gym put in. It was nice having it handy, and allowed me not to have to go to a public gym and work out. Truitt used to do so all the time before he married Saryn. My father hardly ever used it, so it was mainly my own personal gym now.
Fated Hearts Page 16
