I nod against his chest. “Me, too,” I whisper, almost afraid to break the silence in the room. “But I’m really happy you’re here.”
“And I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
I spend the morning with Julio and for the first time since the attack, I feel like I can breathe again. He tells me he's staying all week. Longer, if I need it. He already got it cleared with his parents and teachers and he’s staying in the guest room in the pool house. There are plenty of empty rooms in the main house for him to stay in, but he seems content to stay in the pool house, so I don’t question it. It’s probably Gerald being Gerald. I’m surprised he allowed Julio to visit in the first place, so I’m not about to say anything that might jeopardize that.
I’m happy Julio’s here. I missed him. I hadn’t realized how much until he arrived.
Julio fills me in on the particulars of his stay. He’ll be going to school with me. I don’t know how but Janessa got him cleared as a visiting student. I guess the plan is for him to attend all my classes with me for the first week so I won’t have to face it alone.
I still don’t know if going back to school is a good idea. But when I broached the subject of getting my GED, Janessa shot it down and said it wasn’t even worth trying to bring up to my father. Anything less than a diploma meant I couldn’t get accepted into an Ivy League school—not that I’d personally applied to any—but Janessa seems to be under the impression that I’ll be attending one. The idea of college right now seems so out there that it’s not worth thinking about. I’d always planned on doing two years of community college first. It’s all I can reasonably afford but I don’t tell her that. Right now, I just want to focus on today. Maybe tomorrow. Anything past that is too much.
The following morning when my alarm goes off, I force myself to get out of bed. The heaviness in my chest I’ve had since the attack is lighter. It’s still there, but today, it feels bearable.
I’ve had enough time to wallow in my own misery. More time than I ever gave myself after Mom died. It’ll have to be enough. I need to graduate. Missing so much school is going to make that hard enough as it is, and I refuse to let the men who did this to me take anything else.
After spending all day yesterday with Julio, I’ve convinced myself I’ll be okay.
We didn’t talk about the assault. He knows what happened and I don’t have any desire to relive the memories just so he can hear the story from my own mouth. Thankfully, he never pushes me. Not that I expected him too. Julio is the strong silent type. He’s the mountain that refuses to move no matter how hard the wind blows. Growing up, he was my rock. The big brother I never had. He gets me. He gets what I need.
And being held, knowing that I was safe in his arms, that the world couldn’t hurt me as long as he was there, gave me the reprieve I needed to pull myself together.
We spent most of the day watching Netflix and eating junk food. Well, he did at least.
I still haven’t been eating, but I did pick at some of the popcorn for his benefit.
I know Julio noticed. But he didn’t say anything and I’m grateful for it. My ribs stand out in sharp relief beneath my chest. I can count each one while in the shower. It’s not healthy but I don’t know how to make myself want to eat. Sometimes even the scent of food gets to me and sends me running for the bathroom.
When I go downstairs in the morning, I expect to find Janessa waiting to take us to school, but instead, she hands me a set of keys and gives me a small smile.
“Your father pulled this from the garage for you at my suggestion.” She tilts her head to the set of keys. “This way, if you need to leave, to get away, you can.”
I stare at the keys in my hand. Tears form in the corners of my eyes and I swipe them away. I keep crying. I’m always crying. I hate it, but I never thought I’d be so relieved to have access to a car. Before all of this, I would have refused it. I didn’t want Gerald’s money. I didn’t need it and I like earning my own way in life. It’s why I’d been applying for jobs in the first place. But I couldn’t afford a car on my own right now. Not even a beater. And this, this would give me an escape.
“Thank you.”
Her smile widens just a bit. “If you ever want to talk…”
Julio comes in the back door. “Hey.” He lifts a hand in greeting and walks toward me.
My stomach tightens as he approaches but I do what I did yesterday every time my body reacted to his proximity. I look at his hands and the anxiety subsides. Then to Janessa I say, “Thanks. But I’m good.”
She nods. Hands me a to-go cup of coffee and Julio and I both head outside.
I find a silver Audi RS 5 in the driveway. I push a button on the key fob, somewhat surprised when the Audi chirps back. He’s letting me drive an RS? Why can’t he be like normal dads and just get me a Jetta? Preferably a used one.
“Damn,” Julio draws out. “This is sick.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You can drool over the interior. Come on or we’re going to be late.”
Roman
Emilio sidles up beside me. “She’s back,” he mutters under his breath. My jaw tightens and all our heads turn to see her step out of a silver car a few rows down from us.
“Is that a…” Emilio starts.
“Brand new Audi RS 5? Yeah. It is,” Dom answers and a quick look his way shows he’s not all that happy to see her, either.
Guess she’s still living the good life or maybe now she’s just happier to embrace it. She’s dressed in that rich preppy shit she wore the first week of school.
I guess we’re back to that again, too.
I shrug my shoulders and catch Emilio and Dom’s gazes. “Doesn’t matter what she’s driving. She’s here. I want some fucking answers.” That chick that works for her dad blew us off when we showed up, but I’m not buying the whole Allie-doesn't-want-to-see-me crap. Something else has to be going on. I tried waiting around for Allie to leave the house, hoping to catch her and corner her into talking to me, but she never fucking left her house. Not once. Not that I ever saw, at least. And I was there, every fucking day for eight days straight. I went full-fledge stalker and don’t even care.
I push off from the hood of my ride, intent on speaking with her, but then I catch sight of a guy getting out of the passenger seat of the same vehicle.
“What the fuck?” Emilio says beside me. He scratches the back of his head. “This is new.”
“Yeah,” I bite out. “It is.”
I watch as he moves around the car until he’s right beside her. He reaches a hand out to her. It’s tentative, like he’s unsure if she’ll accept his touch and for a second my heart races in my chest. She’s going to brush him off. I know she is. If this were a thing, if he was competition, he wouldn’t look so hesitant to touch her. I grin. The fucker has no idea what he’s trying to get in between.
Allie’s mine. She has a lot to answer for and I’m pissed as hell with her, but she’s still mine.
I take another step toward them and my boys follow suit. But then she smiles up at the guy and accepts his hand. She threads her fingers with his and the two of them turn their backs on us and head to the school’s front entrance.
I stop in my tracks, my eyes glued to their hands. Their fucking entwined fingers like this is middle school or some shit.
What. The. Fuck.
Dominique puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “You alright, bro?”
“I’m fine.”
Emilio swears beside me. “Who the fuck is that dude?”
I grind my teeth.
“We still need answers,” Dom says beside me. “You guys didn’t see her last week. Something happened.”
“I don’t fucking care. Ice her out.” Anger bubbles up inside me. “I don’t have time for petty bitches and their games. That’s not how we roll.” Both of them nod their agreement, but Emilio looks hesitant.
“There’s gotta be an explanation,” he hedges. I glare at
him and he puts his arms up, palms out in surrender. “Whatever you say, man. We’ll ice her out.”
I nod. She ghosted us. Ghosted me. And for what? This guy? I don’t know him. Don’t even recognize his face. Not once have I ever seen him near her before. But she blew me off for that guy. She made me look like a fool. And now, hand in hand, she’s making sure the entire school knows she’s dropped me.
She didn’t even have the decency to call. My pops showed up to the game. He never comes to my games. He never has the time. But he came to our rival game against the Saints and I had it all planned out. He was going to meet my girl. I told my fucking parents about her. My mom knew Allie was supposed to be there and she no-showed. Fucking no-showed. No call. No text. Nothing.
A tick forms in my jaw and I glare at her retreating form. As if she can sense my attention her head swivels to look over her shoulder and her eyes lock on mine. Pools of chocolate brown meet my stare head-on and she flinches.
I hope she sees just how pissed off I am. How done I am with her.
The guy beside her slows his steps. I watch as she untangles her hand from his and he frowns at her. She says something to him. She’s shaking her head and glancing over at me again. He says something back and they argue for a moment before a decision is made.
She turns around and heads in my direction—the new guy hot on her heels. She chews on her bottom lip, worry lines deepening with every step she takes. Good. She should be worried. If she’s expecting a warm welcome, she won’t find it.
The guy has a blank expression. I can’t get a read on him but he stays close to Allie. Almost like he wants to protect her. His hands are tatted and he has two diamond studs in his ears. He’s dressed in dark denim jeans and a black hoodie with the words Richland printed on the back. Then it clicks. This dude is from her hometown. Is he the ex? The ex that doesn’t look like he’s an ex anymore?
They’re almost to us when Dom asks, “What’s the plan?”
I shake my head. I don’t know. She’s coming over to us but she’s with him. They clearly have some sort of relationship with each other and I have no fucking clue what’s going on. Was I some side piece of hers? She said in the beginning, she didn’t want anything serious. We didn’t use labels. I never called her my girlfriend, but fuck, she was my girl. She’d been my girl.
None of it matters now. “Stick to the plan. Ice her out. I’m done.”
They nod and we each grab our bags, heading straight toward them. Allie’s steps falter and her skin pales, highlighting the sharp angles of her cheekbones. Has she lost more weight?
When we’re right in front of them she says, “Ro?” My name on her lips is whisper-soft and it does something to me, twisting my insides around, but I don’t respond. I don’t react. Instead, I push right between her and her new guy and head straight to the doors. My steps never slow.
She gasps before saying a little bit louder, “Roman?”
I keep going. Then the asshole with her calls out, “Bro, what’s your problem?”
I whirl on him. Dropping my backpack on the pavement, I close the distance between us and get right in his face. He holds his ground and fury flashes in his eyes.
Allie sucks in a breath and takes several steps back. She’s as white as a sheet but I can’t find it in me to fucking care.
“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but this is my school. My town. Don’t talk to me again. Ever. We clear.”
He doesn’t answer, meanwhile Allie’s all but hyperventilating beside us as she watches the exchange.
Slowly, so fucking slow, I turn my head to glare at her. “The same goes for you. Don’t speak to me. We’re not friends. We’re not anything. I don’t fraternize with whores.” She jerks back as if I’ve slapped her and the next thing I know a fist smashes into my face and I stumble back a few steps. Dom and Emilio rush up beside me and I shake my head, blinking hard to clear my vision as it meets the angry glare of the guy she came with.
His nostrils flare and his hands clench into tight fists at his sides as though he’s barely keeping himself from hitting me again.
I spit and my blood smacks the pavement. “You’re gonna regret that.”
“Don’t call her that again. Are we clear?” His tone is hard, his eyes murderous.
I can’t help it. I laugh. “Whatever you say, cabrón. Just know she was underneath me two weeks ago. Who knows how many guys she’s had since?”
“You worthless sonovabitch. Do you have any idea what she’s—”
“Julio, don’t!” she cries out and we both turn to see her tear-filled gaze. “Please. Don’t.”
Guilt tears into me at the sight of those tears before I push it away. No way am I going to feel sorry for her. She’s got Julio now. That’s this fucker's name. So not the ex.
His eyes soften as they drink her in and he moves toward her. He cups the back of her neck and draws her face toward his chest. She goes willingly, wrapping her arms round his waist and fuck, it’s like a punch to the gut. Seeing that, seeing her in his arms hurts more than that fucker’s punch to my face ever could.
I don’t say anything. I have no fucking words. I turn around and head back to the entrance, refusing to look back.
“Watch your back,” Dom warns him before moving in step beside me.
“What the hell was that?” Emilio mutters when we’re out of hearing distance from the happy couple.
I don’t answer him.
When Silvia Parish walks past me, rather than ignoring her like I usually would, I call her over. Her eyes are hesitant, but they brighten when I give her a smile. She slows her steps, waiting for me.
“Hey, Ro,” she purrs.
I see the confusion in my boys' gazes but I ignore them. “Ready to be out of the dog house?” I ask her.
She pouts. “That was really mean of you.”
“Yeah. Well, maybe later I’ll make it up to you. What do you say?”
Lust darkens her eyes and she nods her head in agreement. “Mmmmm. I’d love to.” She settles in beside me. “Are you and the little do-gooder over?”
I shake my head, then look down at her and give her a devilish grin. “Nothing to be over,” I tell her. “Shit never even started.”
Allie
If Julio wasn’t with me, I wouldn’t have survived today. He follows me to all my classes. A few girls give him interested looks but he ignores them, his full attention on me.
Roman is a no-show first period. A part of me wonders if he’s off screwing Silvia in the locker rooms or something. I know he’s mad but he didn’t need to say what he did.
I want to talk to him, to explain why I didn’t call or text. I know if he knew my reasons, if he knew everything that happened, he’d understand. At least, I hope he would. But I can’t convince myself to expose myself like that to him. His words cut deep. He wanted to hurt me and he did. What if he doesn’t understand? What if telling him what happened only confirms what I am in his eyes? A whore.
Julio tries to comfort me throughout the day. Every time I catch sight of Roman, Dominique, or Emilio, he distracts me with a question or a dumb joke. Sometimes it works. But most of the time, it doesn’t.
“Hey,” he tilts my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You don’t need them. Seven more months and you’re coming home with me.”
I nod. I’ll be eighteen in four months. Graduate in seven. It feels like forever and a day away but in reality, it’s not that far. Falling out like this with the Devils hurts, but maybe it was for the best.
We eat lunch in the library without incident. Well, Julio does at least. I manage two bites of pizza before throwing my tray away, unable to stomach the food any better than I have been at Gerald’s.
Spanish goes by without a hitch. When I get to Welding, Julio draws a little more attention than he had in my previous classes, but this time, since it’s a class full of guys, Julio doesn’t ignore them.
“This the new beau?” Aaron asks, a smile on his face.
It’s a forced smile but it’s a smile nonetheless. I stiffen as he nears but Julio positions himself between us, easing some of the tension before he answers Aaron for me.
“Nah, man. Allie’s like my little sister. I’m a friend from back home.” He reaches out a hand and Aaron shakes it. His smile morphs to one that’s more genuine as he gives Julio a once-over.
“Sister, huh? You two could have fooled me. All the hand holding, the looks…” He trails off and I know there’s a question in there, but he doesn’t come out and ask it.
Julio and I have been affectionate since he arrived. I’m not entirely sure why. Back home, we never really held hands, but we’ve cuddled watching movies together and neither of us have ever shied away from physical contact. But it’s always been platonic. Saying I’m like a sister is one hundred percent accurate. I don’t have any biological siblings but if I did, I imagine my relationship with them would be like what I have with Julio. Easy. Comfortable. And with zero romantic feelings for the other person.
“I’ve known J since grade school.” I shrug. “I don’t think either of us realized how people might take things.”
Julio snorts beside me. “We also don’t care.”
Aaron seems to mull that over. “So… how’s Roman handling this? I saw him earlier with—” He cuts himself off and looks away. Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck he offers me an apologetic look. “Sorry. I know it’s none of my business but I think you deserve to know.” He pauses. “Roman was all over Silvia Parish at lunch today.”
A rock falls to the pit of my stomach. “It didn’t take him long to move on.”
Aaron’s face twists into a grimace. “Did something happen? All the Devils have been acting weird. I know you and he were—”
“No. Nothing happened. Things ran their course. That’s all.”
Julio’s vibrating with anger beside me. I know he wants to say something. He’s made it clear what he thinks about Roman, but thankfully he keeps quiet about it all.
Wicked Devil: An Enemies to Lovers, High School Bully Romance (Devils of Sun Valley High Book 1) Page 18
