“Maybe it’s because you’re still being yourself.” Her voice was thoughtful. “Being an artist is first and the prince second. You’re doing something that completes you.”
I let that roll around in my head. I’d never thought about the fact that doing art shows didn’t bother me, but what she said made sense.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? I’m right and you know it.” She grinned up at me.
“Cocky, aren’t you?”
“Must be rubbing off from spending time with you.”
“Now that definitely makes sense.” I reached out with an arm and tugged her against my side.
“Thanks for bringing me out here.”
She put her head on my shoulder and my heart did something funny. I looked up at the sky and wondered what I was doing. Meredith had been right. Being with her could be dangerous. Not because of her family or because of her love for the spotlight.
But because I was in serious danger of falling in love.
And that just didn’t happen to me.
THIRTEEN
I LOOKED AT MY black dress and sighed. I looked nice. In fact, I looked great. Too bad my insides didn’t match the outside.
The black dress fit perfectly. The sleeves fell to a comfortable but fashionable length, while the tiny belt I wore accented my waist. I hadn’t brought many pairs of shoes with me, but I had thankfully grabbed a couple pairs of heels. I had debated over my shoes far longer than I should have. I’d brought black heels for the funeral, but after evaluation had decided to go with the pair that were such a dark red, they were almost black. It was just a tiny splash of color and it gave my confidence a boost.
I stepped away from the mirror and picked up my pearl ring from the nightstand. I slid it on my finger and felt my eyes grow teary. He was really gone. That man had been the only stable family I had growing up. He’d held a job, paid his bills, didn’t have crazy rampages.
I wiped at my eyes and tried to pull myself together. I hadn’t seen him since we’d arrived. It hadn’t been required that we identify the body, and I waived the viewing. Granddad had always thought those were strange; staring at a dead body seemed odd to him. But right now, I wish I hadn’t decided against it. I wish I had gotten to see him one more time. Just once more.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I needed to pull myself together before everything that was going to happen today. I’d been up for hours, getting messages from Rachel, my grandfather’s friends, and even the press looking for a statement. It had already been a nightmare.
“Mom, I hate ties.” Marty walked into my room and threw himself on my bed. “Do I have to wear one?”
“Sorry, babe, but today is a definite tie day.” I walked over and held out my hand. “Here, I’ll help you put it on.”
“When can I take it off?” He stood up and lifted his chin so I could tie a proper knot.
“I’ll let you know as soon as you can.”
“Fine.” He frowned. “Is this going to take a long time?”
“I’m not sure.” I knelt down in front of him. “How are you holding up?”
“Okay.” He shrugged. “I like being here, but I’m still really sad about Great Granddad. And I miss my friends from school.”
“Maybe we can call one tomorrow,” I suggested.
“That would be cool.” He looked at me with worried eyes. “Do you think I’m going to get in trouble for missing school?”
“Nah.” I hugged him. “Things like this are excused.”
“What about homework?”
“We’ll talk to your teachers about that when we get back, okay?” I tweaked his nose before standing back up. “You ready to go downstairs?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “Might as well get it over with.”
“Get breakfast over with?”
“Yeah. I miss my Pop-Tarts.” He hung his head.
“I bet we can find some soon. Maybe we could ask someone to go to the store.”
“Would they do that?” He looked up at me with bright eyes.
“They might if we ask nicely.” I squeezed his hand. “Doesn’t hurt to try.”
Cathy was coming up the stairs and smiled at us. “Good morning.”
“Good morning.”
“Can I please have some Pop-Tarts?” My son smiled up at his friend.
“Marty, that is not what I meant.”
Cathy laughed. “It so happens that I asked for the kitchen staff to pick some up yesterday. I wasn’t sure what flavor you liked so we got a couple of boxes of each that the store had.”
“Yes!” Marty made a little fist and pumped his arm.
“Thank you. That was very thoughtful of you.” I smiled at her.
“It was no problem.” She continued her climb up the stairs. “I’ll see you guys in a little bit.”
There were quite a few people downstairs in the large living space. Prince Alex was talking with a man who had bright red hair and was wearing a snazzy pink tie with his dark gray suit. And Samantha was on the phone, her face serious as she described something about talons. A couple of staff members were hanging about, doing different odds and ends.
But no Max.
I shouldn’t be bothered by that fact. I should be putting as much space between the two of us as possible. And yet . . .
No, I couldn’t deal with what happened between Max and me. Not today. There were only so many emotions a person could filter at any given moment and I felt like I was drowning. There was too much happening for me to be attached to a man who would probably prefer that I had never walked into his life. I needed to focus on getting through today and tomorrow before I even thought of anything else.
“Good morning.” Alex bowed his head toward us and I dipped a slight curtsy. I was still getting used to the royal stuff. Was I supposed to do that right now, or should I be less formal now that I was staying at his house? Or more formal? Good grief, talk about overworrying things.
“Good morning.” I offered the room a smile.
“Hello, I’m Chadwick.” The man with the pink tie walked forward and held his hand out.
“It’s nice to meet you.” I shook his hand. “You’re Samantha’s assistant, right?”
“My reputation precedes me.” He winked at me. “I’m not as terrible as everyone pretends.”
“I’ve only heard good things.” I chuckled.
“Good. That means you’ve been talking to the right people.” He turned to Marty. “And good morning to you, sir.”
“Hi.” Marty leaned into my side.
“Are you ready for breakfast?” Chadwick motioned toward the hall that led to the dining room. “I believe it’s all ready.”
“Thank you.” I looked around the room. “Will the others be joining us?”
“I’m coming!” Sam closed her phone and headed in my direction. Her black wraparound dress showed off her adorable pregnant belly. She was wearing flats instead of heels and a string of silvery pearls. “If I don’t eat soon, I’ll be sick.”
The dining room had a huge spread of food, including Marty’s Pop-Tarts. Maybe I was a bad mother for letting him eat them the last few days, but with everything else going on, I wasn’t going to force him to eat sausage or eggs.
By the time we were ready to leave I had started to really worry that Max wasn’t going to show up. What would I do if he wasn’t there? I’d have to find someone else to help carry Granddad.
And even more importantly, why now? Why would Max flake out on me today of all days? I’d pushed and pushed to get him to leave me alone and he’d refused. Then the day I specifically asked for help he hadn’t shown up. And no one was saying anything about it. I had slept with him yesterday—given him something important to me. And now? I didn’t even know what to think.
“There are cars out front,” Chadwick said. He handed Samantha a dark gray sweater to go over her dress.
Unable to stand it any longer, I looked over at Cathy. “Have you seen Max?”
; “He’s already gone.” Cathy cocked her head to the side. “I thought he told you he was going early to make sure there were no problems.”
“Oh.” Relief flooded my body. He wasn’t avoiding me. He was doing what he said he was going to do. Trying to help me. “No, he didn’t mention it.”
Or maybe he had? I’d almost fallen asleep last night while watching the water. I remembered him talking to me, but his deep voice had all but lulled me to sleep. I just remembered being content and relaxed before finally making our way back to the house. He had kissed my head before I went in my room and I had passed out easily on the giant bed. It had been the best sleep I’d had in years.
I let them lead us to one of the black limousines out front, not really paying attention to who all climbed into the car with me and Marty. Instead I took my phone out of my purse and looked up Max’s number to send him a text message.
You didn’t have to go without me.
I closed my phone and looked out the window. When my phone beeped I clicked on the message.
You didn’t need to worry about everything.
I shook my head. What was it with him wanting to take care of everything for me? Pretty soon he was going to insist he wash my socks or help me bathe. That last thought brought heat to my cheeks. I’m not sure I’d mind letting him help me in the shower.
Thank you.
There, nice and simple. No talk of bathing each other. That was probably for the best. Probably.
Welcome.
Our ride to Thysmer was relatively quiet, except for Cathy and Marty. She had brought a handheld video game and currently was talking Marty through a level with tomato zombies. I was scared to even look at the game. The squishing sounds were bad enough.
The closer we came to the church, the more my nerves began to bubble and froth in my stomach. I’d chosen a song to sing that I’d heard a while ago on the radio in England. The lyrics were beautiful and summed up the feelings of loss. It was something I’d fallen in love with the second I’d heard it. I knew the song by heart, so it wouldn’t be something I’d be focused on getting right. I could just sing it and hopefully touch the people who had known my grandfather.
As we drove through Thysmer I noticed that flags had been lowered to half-staff. When the church came in to view it was surrounded by cars and people mingling outside. The media was a respectful distance away, which relieved me to no end. The last thing I wanted was to wade through people asking questions or wanting pictures. I wondered if that had been Max’s doing.
As our limo pulled up, Max made his way out of the church, followed by Rachel, and headed straight for the car. He adjusted his suit jacket before opening the door. Cathy motioned for me and Marty to go out first.
Max held his hand out to help me, his fingers squeezing mine gently, before letting go to help Marty and his sister out of the car.
“My lady.” Rachel bobbed a quick curtsy before moving to my side. Leaning close, she lowered her voice. “How are you?”
“We’re fine.” I nodded my head. “Is everything ready?”
“Yes, ma’am.” She bobbed her head at someone she knew. “Everything is as you wished.”
“Thank you. I should have come earlier to help.”
“Not at all.” She looked at me with wise eyes. “Your father is already here. He’s been here for a while. Asked to see his father before the ceremony.”
“Really?” I frowned. I hadn’t thought he would care to see my granddad’s body. I hadn’t really thought he cared about any of it, to be truthful. “Has he said anything?”
“He’s been quiet.” She patted my arm. “I don’t think you’re going to have much to worry about today.”
“Thank you.” I couldn’t explain how much I hoped she was right. “How’d my father get here? Did he drive?”
“Prince Maxwell has been a big help this morning.” She offered me a smile. “He rode with a car to get your father. Said that he wanted to help escort the duke to the funeral.”
“He did what?” I stopped and blinked at her. Marty grabbed my hand and waited with me. I could hear Cathy talking quietly with someone behind me. Surprise had me looking around the area for Max. He must’ve gotten up before dawn to manage everything. When my eyes landed on his, I felt my heart thump loudly in my chest. He was watching me with soft eyes as Cathy talked quietly.
“Prince Maxwell brought your father to the funeral. He felt it best that someone ride with him.” She put her hand on my elbow and gently steered me toward the doors. I looked back to the church and took a deep breath.
My mind rushed through all of the scenarios that could have happened. Had he gone to make sure that my father came to the funeral? Honestly, I hadn’t been sure he would attend.
“Mere!” An older man waved at me from near the door. “Marty!”
“Patrick!” I picked up my pace and walked toward my granddad’s oldest friend. He was wearing a worn, dark suit and wire-rimmed glasses. As soon as I got to him, I wrapped my arms around him. “I’m so glad you were able to make it.”
“Of course, love. I’m so sorry about your granddad.” He squeezed me back before leaning down and hugging Marty. “He was a good man.”
“Thank you.” My eyes began to water and I wiped at my cheeks with my fingers. Seeing Patrick was like seeing my granddad’s ghost. It cemented the awful truth of his death.
“Let me know if you need anything.” He squeezed my shoulder. I looked into his eyes and realized that he was fighting back tears of his own.
“I really appreciate you coming out and helping today.” I looked down at the ground. “It’s not an easy thing to ask.”
“I would have been offended if you hadn’t asked me.” He smiled at me. “It’s my honor.”
I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I’ve got to go inside.”
“I’ll be in there in a minute. Just need a little more fresh air.” He took a deep breath.
“I understand.” I hugged him again and picked up Marty’s hand.
“Mom?” Marty’s voice was quiet.
“Yes, baby?”
“I don’t want to see Great Granddad.” His chin trembled. I dropped to my knees, blocking the door for everyone else, and wrapped my arms around my son.
“That’s okay.” I squeezed him tightly.
“I just want to remember him fishing, you know? Fishing.”
“I understand.” I looked at him and wiped a tear from his cheek. “That’s perfectly fine.”
“Can I sit next to you?” Max knelt down next to us.
Marty looked from Max to me.
“We’d like that.” I looked at Max. “It’ll be nice for Marty to have someone to sit with while I sing.”
Marty looked at Max and nodded his head.
“Okay, then.” Max stood up and held his hand out to Marty.
Marty accepted it before turning and holding his other hand out to me. I took it and looked at Max. Did he realize that we looked like a family? A complete unit? Did he understand that Marty had opened himself up to him?
Marty and I were both so vulnerable and Max had stepped in and become our shield during the storm. It was frightening and amazing how quickly it had happened. How quickly he had become part of our lives.
Max nodded his head once and his bright green eyes locked on mine.
“Ready?”
“Ready,” I whispered.
Together we walked through the church. It was full of people in black or gray. Some of the women wore hats, while others had chosen not to. They all had one thing in common, though. They turned to watch our little group make its way down the aisle.
Purposefully, I let my eyes sweep the room, never landing on the casket at the end of the walkway. I was scared to see if it had been left open or not. So I focused on other things.
I could see my father’s head in the first pew, where the family would sit. His gray hair was neatly combed and he was wearing a suit. Our butler, Gerard, sat a few rows behind him
.
When we neared the front row, my father looked over his shoulder and stood up. Despite his sour expression, I was relieved. His eyes were clear, which meant he was sober. Or at least at a level where he could function normally.
“Hello,” I said. Marty’s fingers tightened on mine.
“Hello.” My father nodded his head at Max and then sat back down.
If he was anyone else’s father, they might have been bothered by the distant greeting. For me, it was a small victory. He hadn’t yelled at me, hadn’t threatened me, hadn’t caused a big scene. He had even spoken to me, when I had thought I’d be lucky to have him ignore us.
I took the seat next to my father, careful to keep a good distance between us. Marty sat next to me and Max sat on the other side of Marty. Samantha, Cathy, and Alex sat next to Max. Alex turned in his seat and greeted some of the people behind us. Shaking hands and being polite as people tried to get in a word with the heir to the throne.
When the minister stepped up to the podium, everyone began to quiet. I’d pushed to keep the ceremony simple. I didn’t want to have people sitting there for hours, listening to endless droning on about my grandfather. Most of the people in this room had never met the man. And while I’m sure their intentions had been good in coming, it still felt invasive. I should have insisted that we keep the funeral small and personal, but Rachel had felt that it would send the wrong message to the town that had accepted us back. Understanding her point, I’d relinquished my stance and agreed to having a “proper” royal burial. Complete with flowers, music, and a real minister.
A Bible verse was read, which would have made Granddad cringe. And for some reason, that made me smile. Just imagining his reaction made me feel closer to him. I could practically hear him saying, “Oy vey” and rolling his eyes. My dad shifted in his seat and I dared to look at him. That’s when I realized I hadn’t imagined my grandfather saying his favorite phrase, it had been my father. With a look of amusement, he shot me a small smile, and I realized that in that moment we were thinking the same thing. Oddly enough, that made the whole situation feel a little lighter. This little connection with my father. I didn’t forgive him for the way he’d been acting, the way he handled himself. But in a way, my grandfather linked us together.
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