“I’m not sure what would have happened to us if you hadn’t shown up.” I see her shiver, and it takes all of my strength not to pull her into my arms.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
She chews on the inside of her lip and frowns. “Those bears...I know it might sound insane, but I think one of them was the bear who killed my grandfather.”
I try to keep from reacting.
That’s why she shot at me. She knows. A shiver runs down my spine.
She gives a small shake of her head. “After all these years, how is it possible that savage beast still roams the mountains? How has no one killed it?”
Savage.
Beast.
Two words I’ve believed for so long about myself, and to hear her say them only confirms what I already know - my actions are unforgivable.
That fate would potentially match me with the granddaughter of the man I murdered seems like a cruel cosmic joke.
But it still doesn’t stop me from wanting to defend myself. To try and explain the rage that must have caused me to black out and allow my beast to avenge the death of my father.
Instead, all I say is, “I’m sorry about your grandfather.”
“Did you know him?”
I knew the man was a hunter, one that had a vendetta against the bears in this county. My brothers claim that the man knew what we were, and yet shot anyways. I don’t know if it’s true, but I do know that my father would never have attacked the man, not in bear or human form.
Maybe Spencer came across him and fired out of fear. Or maybe I’m lying to myself and I know the truth, the Spencers have always been the enemies of the Kolemans.
Why would Adelaide Spencer be any different?
But looking into her eyes, I know she is. Or at least I hope she is, especially if my instincts turn out to be true and she is my mate.
“I did know him,” I answer. “Knew your grandmother too.” She was a better woman than he was a man. And if she did know about my kind, or about what really happened up on that mountain all those years ago, she never mentioned it.
Adelaide holds my gaze for a moment, then sighs. “I wish I knew them both better. My parents wouldn’t let me come back after what happened.”
There’s pain in her words and guilt that matches my own. But what could she have to feel guilty over?
I glance over her shoulder at the bookstore and nod toward it. “Maybe it’s not too late. I’m sure that place holds lots of memories.”
She follows my gaze, then says softly. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll finally find answers.”
I don’t ask her what questions she needs answers to. Maybe because I already know. And if she’s looking for the truth, I’m the only one who can give it to her.
But at what cost?
Chapter 4
Adelaide
It doesn’t take us long to settle in. We’ve been here four days and we’ve unpacked nearly every box. Harley, being the artist, has already ordered new throws and pillows for the front reading nook. Our always organized Kate took it upon herself to reorganize and dust each of the many rows of bookshelves, as well as order copious amounts of what she calls her must-read smut list.
Piper, on the other hand, has no problem ordering us around, her trusty camera never far away, already she’s taken a dozen frame-worthy photos that I can’t wait to get blown up and hang around the shop.
Even without the little touches that the girls have added, my grandmother had already made this place homey. The best find in the whole place was a large chest that was used as a coffee table in the bookstore. It is full of pictures, little mementos, and old journals that she kept all those years.
Kneeling beside the chest, I pull out an old faded photo of my grandparents holding my mother who looked to be around two or three. She’d been their only child, and I know they were both heartbroken when she left Alaska to marry my father. All my life I’d heard her say how she couldn’t wait to leave the valley and move to civilization.
I’d loved this place. There were summers when I’d begged my parents to let me stay here rather than go with them on one of their luxury vacations. But after what happened to my grandfather, my parents refused to let me come back for longer than a few days.
“What’s that?” Harley asks, coming up behind me. Kate is with her and they plop down on the comfy armchairs in the bookstore.
“Just some of my grandma’s things.” I place the photo back in the chest, then shut it and stand. So much of what that chest holds is the past, and right now, I need to focus on my future. We need to get this place up and running before long, considering it’s our only source of income.
“I can’t believe we’re actually here,” Piper says as she joins us. She’s carrying a tray of iced coffees. “Here, taste these and tell me what you think. I’m trying to perfect my cold-brew recipe before we open next week.”
We all take tentative sips.
“This is delicious,” I tell her honestly. “Just keep making this coffee and those batches of cookies and we’ll have no problem keeping our doors open.”
“Shouldn't we focus on the book part of the bookstore?” Kate asks with a smile.
“Well, that too,” I say with a laugh. “But novels are your area of expertise. I’ll focus on making sure the bookkeeping side of things is all good.”
Kate smiles. “I just can’t believe that this is our actual life. My mom is obsessed with the idea of visiting. She says she’s jealous of all the sexy mountain men who live here.”
“Speaking of sexy mountain men, what do you think of Gunnar?” Harley asks me with a not-so-discreet smile, tucking a strand of pink behind her ears.
“I think he is...” I give a nervous chuckle. “A good driver.”
My friends burst out laughing.
“Addie,” Piper says. “Come on, admit it, you were interested.”
I shrug. “Maybe. But we’ve been here what, four days? And he hasn’t come around.”
“He said he was a wilderness guide. Maybe he’s on a trip,” Kate says.
“Or maybe he isn’t interested.” I rub my palms over my thighs, hating how nervous I get even thinking about the man. “I’m not trying to be self-deprecating, but come on, I’m not exactly oozing sex appeal.”
Harley twists her lips. “Then maybe you should up your game, you know, borrow a push-up bra and wear some booty shorts.”
I roll my eyes. “Can you really see me like that? Besides, I want a man who wants me for me. No pretenses, no games. Just a real man who is interested in a real woman.”
Piper nods. “Agreed, if he really is into you, he’ll let you know.”
Harley seems distracted by something out the window but turns back to us. “Okay, so like, if Gunnar asks you out you’ll say yes?”
Truthfully, I would want to say yes...Gunnar is no doubt the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. He made me all weak in the knees and I’d be lying if I said I thought of anything else when I took a bath the other night. All alone, with the door locked, I did more than think about him. I pressed a finger to my clit and got myself off imagining his hands all over me. His body against mine. His mouth on my skin.
I swallow, remembering my friends are all watching me and that I can’t let my fantasy life get in the way of my actual life. And that is all men have ever been to me. A fantasy.
“So, what will you say?” Harley presses. “You promise to say yes?”
I laugh to conceal my feelings that are much more intense than I would ever let on. “Fine, if by some miracle he asked me out, I’d say yes.”
“And if you back out,” Harley says. “You’ll do my laundry for a week?”
“Do your what?” I ask confused why she is pressing me so hard on this.
Before she can answer, the bells on the door to the bookstore jingle and Gunnar walks in.
Oh. That’s why.
I shoot Harley a look that says I’m on to you, but she just giggles before filling the tray with th
e now empty glasses of iced coffee. She walks out of the room as Kate and Piper remember their manners and say hello to the man.
I stand, smoothing down my unruly blonde hair as another man enters the bookshop just as Harley returns from the kitchen. He looks like Gunnar and just as I’m thinking it, he’s introduced as Blaine, Gunnar’s oldest brother.
“There are more than two of you?” I ask, trying my best to push down the jittery nerves that cropped up the moment he entered the shop.
“I have three brothers and a sister,” Gunnar says, his mouth twitching up in a small smile like he senses what he does to me. But if he knows it, he doesn’t act all arrogant like I’d expect from someone who looks like him. Instead, he takes a small step toward me, and asks, “What about you, Adelaide, do you have any siblings?”
Blaine snorts. “God, is this the beginning of a very awkward date? Is the next question going to be what’s your favorite color?”
“Are you always such an ass?” Harley asks, her tone making it crystal clear that she thinks he’s a douche-canoe.
I bite my lip, not appreciating Blaine’s attitude myself. And clearly, Gunnar doesn’t either. He shoots Blaine a hard look. “Don’t.”
I can hear in that single word, in that split second, there is more to Gunnar than I originally thought. There’s a fierce streak in him, something dark, something dangerous.
A shiver runs down my spine. But instead of giving me a warning signal, it’s like a bullet of courage. Instead of closing in on myself, I stand up straighter. Screw the push up bra and booty shorts, I can do this without any help. After all, I am a grown-ass woman in the wilds of Alaska. If I want to make my fantasy life a reality, I need to put myself out there.
Gunnar must notice the change in my demeanor because he steps toward me as if there is a magnetic pull in the center of the bookshop.
“Adelaide,” he says, his voice low and gravelly. “There’s a dance tonight, at the Red Barn. Will you be my date?”
I know my cheeks are burning up. Harley has returned to the shop, and she, along with my other girlfriends, is hanging onto every word Gunnar says.
He’s putting himself out there in front of everyone. I admire his strength.
I think about doing Harley’s laundry, how there is no way in hell I’d do it even if I didn’t say yes, but also knowing there is no way I could say no. No way I would dream of saying no.
This attraction to Gunnar is inexplicable. Maybe it’s lust, but maybe it’s more. As he stands here waiting for my answer, it’s like he can see straight through me. And I desperately want him to like what he sees.
“Of course,” I say. As I do, our eyes lock. My heart thumps so hard in my chest, I’m sure everyone can see it. “What time?”
He gives me a smile. But not just any smile. It’s a smile made only for me. A smile that says he can’t wait to come back and get me. To drive me in his truck to a dance and swing me around a worn-wood floor. A smile that says he has plans for us.
A smile that has me undone before we’ve even kissed.
“I’ll pick you up at eight,” he says, and when he speaks, time stops and yes, it might sound dramatic, but this moment is a moment I will always remember.
“Perfect,” I say breathlessly.
And with that, he gives me a nod, then turns on his heels and walks away.
The moment Blaine and Gunnar leave the shop, my shoulders drop. It’s like, the minutes they were here time stood still and now it is catching up to me.
I look to my friends. “Did that seriously just happen?”
They are laughing and squealing and I’m in a fog.
“I swear you two were mind-fucking each other right here in Granny’s shop,” Piper says.
“Piper!” I swat her arm, but then start laughing myself. It did feel like that, a mind-fuck. When he looked into my eyes, I swear I was close to an orgasm.
Good Lord, I better prepare myself for tonight. When he wraps me in his arms and guides me around a dancefloor, I’m not sure how I’m going to resist the man. Maybe I don’t have to.
I fan myself, knowing that maybe there was a reason I saved my virginity all this time.
Maybe I was saving it for Gunnar Koleman.
Chapter 5
Gunnar
When Blaine and I walk out of the bookshop, I swear to God I hear the girls laughing. Maybe I’m an insecure ass, but my first thought is, are they laughing about me?
Then I remember the way Adelaide looked at me, the way every sense of mine was heightened as I held her beautiful green eyes. Her blonde hair thick as a forest. It was all I could do to stop myself from pulling her in my arms, threading my fingers through her hair and inhaling her scent.
God, I want her.
But I also want to kick Blaine’s ass.
“What the fuck was that about?” I ask as we head toward the guide shop. “What’s your problem with me?”
“I just think you and her are a bad idea.”
“So, you’re going to sabotage my chances?”
“I didn’t say that,” Blaine says as he pulls open the door to our shop.
“Then what are you planning on doing?”
Blaine grunts, runs a hand through his hair. “Look, you’ve never been in a relationship. And the thing is, women are vicious. I don’t want you to be taken advantage of.”
I cross my arms. “Oh, so you were being a condescending asshole to protect me from myself, is that it?”
“Maybe.”
“Then stop, okay?”
“You’re a Koleman. She’s a Spencer. It’s a bad idea.”
“What’s a bad idea is you trying to get in the middle of this.” The bear inside me growls, and I can see that my brother’s own animal senses it, because one brow raises and his usually dark grey irises shift to a light brown momentarily.
He shrugs and turns away. “Just be careful.”
I know he’s just trying to protect me, and after the dark years following the incident, I understand why. There were days when my family didn’t know if I’d survive the two gunshots that ripped large, gaping holes in my side. Then there were the months of rehabilitation, not to mention the depression that followed, nearly choking the life out of me.
I’d only been sixteen when it’d happened. Too young to deal with the sudden loss of a father, a brutal injury, and the guilt of taking a man’s life.
“And that’s why I’m worried about you,” Blaine says, shaking his head at me. “That look you have right now. Haven’t seen it in years. You really think dating the granddaughter of the man you—”
“Don’t. I know what I did. I don’t need you reminding me.”
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I understand why you did what you did. Would have done the same if I’d been there. But I know you. You’re more...” He winces.
“What?”
“You’re just more sensitive than the rest of us. I hope you’re not taking this chick out as some kind of way to redeem your sins.”
“That’s not the reason.” I think about telling him that I have a suspicion she’s my mate, but he already thinks I’m insane. To Blaine, finding a mate is like actively looking for a volcano to jump into - it’s suicide.
And maybe he’s right. Especially if Adelaide turns out to be mine. My bear would mark her, forever binding me to her, and yet she could still reject me. How easy would that be for her if she ever found out the truth?
There’s always that fear in a bear, that our mate won’t accept our mark. But I’ve seen the power of what my mother calls mating love, and it’s something I’ve wanted my entire life. Even after my father was gone, it was the strength they had together that kept her going through the most difficult time of her life.
It was worth it, no matter what my brothers might think.
Blaine lets up on me for the rest of the day, and I put all my nervous energy into cleaning up the shop, finishing up early so I have time to go home and get cleaned up.
&nb
sp; I wince as I catch my reflection in the bathroom mirror after I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. The damage the bullets did to my bear form are more defined in this state. It’s another reason why I’ve been hesitant to be with a woman.
A couple of years after the incident, I made the mistake of going swimming with my brothers at the lake. I wouldn’t have gone if I’d known they’d invited a few of the tourists with them. After a couple of beers, I’d taken my shirt off and jumped in the icy water. But when I’d gotten out, I’d noticed the looks I got: pity, disgust, revulsion.
What if Adelaide sees me the same way?
Even if she can get past the scars, what will she do if she found out they were caused by her grandfather’s gun?
“You think too much,” I mumble under my breath, pulling my shirt over my head and covering the evidence of my past. “Time to take a chance on the future.”
Take a chance that my bear knows best, and Adelaide just might be the one.
After getting dressed, I drive to the bookstore. I get out of my truck and find her waiting on the porch, looking like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, I know that I’m done for.
“You look gorgeous.”
She fidgets with the dress she’s wearing and looks down. “I didn’t know what to wear, hope this is all right.”
I can hear the nerves in her voice. Nerves that match my own.
“Wouldn’t matter what you wore, you’re still going to make me the envy of every man at the dance tonight.”
She glances up then. “I bet you say that to all your dates.”
I want to tell her that I don’t go on dates. That she’s the only woman who has made me feel the way I do now. The only one who’s made me want to take a chance. But it’s all too fast, and I’m terrified of scaring her away before I’ve even had the chance to make her mine.
“You ready to dance with Bear Valley’s worst dancer?” Holding my hand out, I wait for her to slip hers into mine, and when she does, I feel it again - electricity.
Untamed Virgins (Mountain Men of Bear Valley Book 1) Page 3
