Is mine.
I’m not prepared for the crushing guilt that pounds down on my chest. She deserves so much more than me. More than the shell of a man responsible for taking her grandfather’s life.
“Sorry,” she says, her palm still resting on my scars, like they’re warrior wounds and not evidence of what I really am - an animal. “Do you not want to talk about it?”
I take her hand in mine, and bring it to my lips, then kiss each one of her knuckles. “There are a lot of things I need to tell you. But just not tonight.”
“Okay.” Her brows draw down slightly, insecurities floating across her expression.
I roll her back gently, and wedge my thigh between hers, then kiss her again, needing to erase the uncertainty I see in her eyes.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Addie,” I murmur against her lips, and I feel her smile against my mouth.
“So are you.”
I let out a small bark of a laugh. “That’s not something I’ve ever been called before.”
“Okay, well, beautiful might not be the right word.”
I nuzzle her ear, my hand sliding down across her silky skin and she whimpers as my fingers stroke across one nipple. “Then what would be?”
“Mmmm,” she moans. “Hot...” Her hips move against my thigh. “Rugged, sexy...” Her back arches when I lower my mouth to her breast. “Oh God, yeah, definitely sexy. I can’t believe you never did this before either.”
I grin down at her. “It was good for you?”
“Yes,” she says breathlessly, a small smile playing at her lips. “Better than I ever imagined it could be.”
Pride and lust swell inside me, and my cock is already hard, wanting to take her again, but I know I should probably get her home, and I don’t want to hurt her.
“I should drive you home now.”
She gives a little pout. “Already?”
“It’s getting chilly out here.”
Snuggling against me, she murmurs. “I don’t want this night to end.”
I tilt her chin up and study her eyes. “Nothing’s ending, Addie. But I don’t want your friends to worry. And we’ll have a million more of these nights. I promise.”
Her breath catches. “I...I’ve never felt like this...I know it’s fast, and it probably sounds silly, but—”
“I feel it too.” I brush my lips against hers, wishing I could explain everything to her, but knowing it’s too soon.
I kiss her again but freeze when my senses pick up a scent that shouldn’t be here.
Sitting up, I scan the darkness and listen. A glint of silvery eyes in the distance has my bear roaring inside of me - wolves.
While it’s not common for them to attack, I know it’s also been a harsh year, and the pack has moved farther south into bear territory. I won’t take a chance, not with Adelaide here with me.
“Get dressed.” I shove my pants back as a wave of dread washes over me. I need to get my mate somewhere safe-but I don’t know if there is enough time. “You need to get in the truck, Addie. Now.” I see a pack of wolves stalk out of the woods, but she hasn’t seen the wild animals approach yet. They can sniff me out-know that I am as much an animal as I am a man.
“The truck? But…”
“Just do it, I promise, it’s for your protection.”
She looks at me with wide eyes, but she must sense how much I mean what I say because she scrambles for her dress. I jump from the bed of the truck and pull her in my arms. She sees the wolves then, there are at least half a dozen of them moving toward us.
“Oh God, Gunnar,” she cries against my shoulder, terror in her words.
I rip open the front passenger door. “It’s okay, I got you.” And I do, even as the wolves stalk toward me. But I also know as I slam the door shut that there will be no more hiding who I am. Not if I’m going to survive the attack that I sense is coming.
And I also need to protect Adelaide. But that means letting my bear loose.
It means attacking the wolves that threaten the one thing I hold most dear - my mate.
Chapter 8
Adelaide
“Gunnar,” I cry out as the wolves loom closer, snarling and vicious, circling us completely.
He’s still outside of the truck.
I try to open my door so that he can get inside, but he slams it shut again, and growls out, “Stay inside.”
I’m about to argue with him, but before I even have a chance, one large wolf jumps on the hood of the truck.
I scream, terrified for Gunnar, knowing that no matter how strong the man is, there’s no way he can fight off six wolves. Paralyzed with fear, I have no idea what to do, but my first instinct is to search the glove compartment for a gun. A glint of metal in the back has me reaching for the handgun I find there, but as my finger wraps around the grip, a deep growl outside the truck has me twisting in my seat.
And what I see rips a scream from my throat. Where Gunnar was standing just a half second before, stands a large bear, it’s fur glistening in the moonlight. It’s mouth wide in a battle cry before slamming its front paws down and knocking one of the wolves back with its enormous head.
“Oh God.” Where the hell is Gunnar?
Tears burn my eyes and I desperately check the gun’s barrel, finding it fully loaded as the bear cries out when one of the wolves bites down on its back flank. It’s then that I see the ripped clothes in the dirt - Gunnar’s clothes.
What is happening? Nothing makes sense.
My fingers shake around the gun and when I realize that the windows are automatic, I think about opening the door a crack and firing the weapon. Maybe Gunnar is under the vehicle, hurt, bleeding.
But the bear is doing a better job than I could at taking out each of the wolves, and it isn’t long before the wolves retreat back into the shadows from which they came, tails between their legs, whimpering.
Gunnar, Gunnar, Gunnar. My heart beats rapidly. What did the wolves do to him? And what will the bear do if I don’t fire the weapon.
It turns then, and I swear the animal stares right at me.
See me. The thought seems to come from somewhere deep inside me. See me, Adelaide.
I blink, knowing I need to help Gunnar, but it’s like the bear has me in a trance, like the creature is trying to communicate with me. Like the voice isn’t my own, but the bear’s.
It’s shock. That’s all. I push away the familiarity that I feel, and re-focus on the wild animal in front of me, taking in the deep scars along its flank.
I was right. It is familiar, because it’s not just any bear, it’s the bear. The one that fought the grizzly on the mountain the day we arrived...the one that killed my grandfather. And now it’ll kill Gunnar.
Unless I do something.
I take the safety off the gun, then open the door.
The bear doesn’t move. Not until I lift the weapon.
I’m about to pull the trigger back, when from somewhere deep inside of me, I hear, Addie, no.
It’s like a growl that vibrates through my whole body, and it makes me pause long enough for the bear to begin to change form.
I watch, mesmerized and terror stricken, as the animal shifts into human form.
And not just any human form, into the one I recognize all too well - Gunnar.
A small whimper catches in my throat. I drop the gun and take a step backward, unable to wrap my brain around what is actually happening. Because it isn’t real. Can’t be real. In no reality does what I’m seeing make sense.
But Gunnar now stands in front of me, naked, his muscles taut, his scars gleaming in the light of the full moon. As I watched his body change back into the skin I kissed and touched and felt against my own, my heart seized with panic. Each pounding beat harder and faster than the last.
It can’t be.
But it is.
I gave my virginity to this animal - this bear. And I was offering him more. I would have given him my heart in its entirety. But now? Now I see Gunnar for what he r
eally, truly is.
A liar.
A monster.
A killer.
I take another step back, scrambling away as he steps toward me. I manage to get inside the truck, but Gunnar stops me before I shut the door.
“Let me explain,” he says, eyes desperate.
I’m curled in on myself, wanting to be anywhere but here. I flinch when he reaches for me.
“Addie, please listen—”
“No.” I shake my head and pull even farther back. “There is nothing you can say that can make this right.”
“I know what you just saw is scary—”
“Scary?” I blink at him. “It’s insane. Maybe I’m insane for believing my own eyes. But...”
“You’re not insane,” he says softly.
“So, you’re...a bear?”
He takes a deep breath in then inhales slowly. “The animal is part of me, yes.”
“Oh my God.” I wrap my arms tighter around my chest. But it isn’t even the whole bear thing that has me the most freaked out. It’s the scars. The evidence of what he’s done. Of the brutal animal he really is.
Tears roll down my cheeks and I don’t wipe them away, I’m too stunned, seeing him so close to me. No longer knowing who he is.
What he is.
It hasn’t even been an hour since Gunnar and I made love. Since I whispered the single word that matched his own. Mine.
Now I know there couldn’t be anything further from the truth than that.
How could I belong to a bear? This bear. The one who killed my grandfather, a man I loved so fiercely.
“Adelaide, we can make this work.”
I laugh, the sound is sharp and high pitched. A laugh that reveals just how scared I am. I push past him, moving from the truck, standing on my own two feet, inching away from him as I speak.
“We can make this work?” I echo his words, knowing they’re the furthest thing from the truth. “I could possibly handle this—” I motion to him, then look away, because he isn’t a bear anymore, he’s a gorgeous, well-endowed man, that despite my mind’s protests, I’m still insanely attracted to. “But you’re not just a bear-man, or whatever you call yourself—”
“A shifter,” he mutters.
I shake my head, not caring about the label he puts on himself, because there’s only one that I can give him - murderer.
“Tell me...” My knees are weak, my vision blurry from unshed tears. “Tell me the truth. Did you kill my grandfather?”
He runs his hands through his hair, his biceps flexing, his body firm and strong. But now I know it is more than strength in those muscles. It is destruction.
“Yes.” Guilt is heavy in that one word.
My shoulders shake and I reach for my purse, my shoes. I need to get away. Now. But that damn voice I’d heard earlier stops me.
Don’t run from me, Adelaide.
I glare at him, starting to wonder if he doesn’t have some bear-type mind control. It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that’s happened to me tonight.
He steps toward me, eyes dark and focused, full of desperation and fear. “The first time I saw you, you were in a yellow dress. Remember? Your hair was so long, past your waist and you saw me.” He brushes his knuckles across my cheek. “I know you did.”
I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut. Not wanting to accept that Gunnar was there on the worst day of my life. That he was the bear who I’d felt a connection with. The bear who took away my innocence. But he already admitted the truth.
“It’s true, Adelaide,” he says, dropping his hand and then moving to the truck and grabbing a new pair of jeans before pulling them on.
“Why?” I ask, my voice shaking with emotions.
He turns back to me as he buttons his fly. “It’s been years since that terrible day, but there hasn’t been a second of my life that the memory isn’t etched into my soul when I have thought about it...about you. And now I know why. You are my mate.”
His mate.
At those words, I let out a sob. It was meant to be a laugh. But it so clearly is not. It’s fear and it’s racing through me.
I push back my hair and begin to run, even knowing it’s reckless, that it’s a half mile to the Red Barn, but I don’t care. I’d rather take my chances here in the wild than be with Gunnar.
“Adelaide, stop,” he calls after me and I turn, my hair whipping around my face.
“Don’t you dare follow me,” I scream into the black night.
“No one can know, please, Addie,” he begs. “Don’t say anything. It’s not just me you’d put at risk...”
I hear the words, but I don’t stay to listen to anymore. Instead, I turn around and run as fast and as far away as possible.
Chapter 9
Gunnar
Adelaide may have told me not to follow, but like hell am I going to leave my girl out alone in the woods. I’m the least dangerous thing around here, even if she doesn’t know it. I get that she’s filled with righteous anger right now, and it is clouding her judgment. So, I let her run.
Ripping through another pair of jeans, I let my bear out, running after her, moving between the trees so she can’t see me. But I feel her, sense her every footstep, every ragged breath.
She yells at me to stop following her. She knows I am here, wild and untamed and hers, but I’m no fool, I will make sure she is somewhere safe before I walk away.
When she reaches the Red Barn, I pause in the tree line, my paws raking the soil, desperate for something to hold onto - wishing like hell it was her.
She turns her gaze toward the trees, her hand on her purse and I’m sure she is seconds away from texting her friends, telling them to meet her outside, to drive her home. But first, she scans the forest, looking for me. Knowing I am near.
“I’m not your mate, Gunnar Koleman,” she yells. Her words are sure but her voice trembles. “I’m not your anything.”
I watch her go and it kills me to let her walk away, but my blood is pounding through my veins and the last thing I need right now is for her to see me in a fury of anger.
Hours later, I retrieve the last pair of extra jeans from my pick-up, shove them on, then slide into the driver’s seat. It’s been a hell of a night and I hate the way it ended. But I won’t lose her. I’ve already promised myself that. I’ll do whatever it takes to win her trust.
I ball my hands into fists and slam them into the steering wheel. I hate what I did all those years ago, and how my past will never let me go.
As I drive home, I get a text from Weston, my twin brother.
Hey, your girl was here, upset. Just left with her friends. WTF?
I clench my jaw, shame washing over me. The idea that anyone might think I did something to hurt Adelaide slays me.
Fuck.
I call him, putting it on speakerphone as I wind my way home.
“Hey,” I say when he picks up. “It’s not what you think.”
“You sure about that?” he asks with a note of disapproval in his voice. “I was outside taking a piss when I saw her. She was in the parking lot, crying. Her friends came out, and they drove away right after. What the hell did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. Dammit.” I want to throw the phone out the goddamn window. “Look, where are you guys?”
“We’re still here. At the barn.”
“I need to talk. With all of you. Now.”
“Where?”
“My place.”
A few minutes later I pull up to my cabin. We all have our own places, all in the woods, and right now I’m glad for the privacy. My brothers aren’t going to be happy when they find out what Adelaide knows, and I wouldn’t put it past them to shift in a rage when I tell them about tonight.
I screwed up royally. But what the hell was I supposed to do? Let myself get mauled by a ravenous pack of wolves? Put Adelaide at risk? No fucking way.
I slam my truck door and stalk toward my cabin. It’s just a simple two bedroom, single fl
oor building that looks more like a mountain cabin than a real home, but it’s more than enough space for me. Until Adelaide showed up last week, I doubted I’d ever have anyone to share it with.
Despite everything that happened tonight, my mind wanders to what she’d think about the place, the improvements I could make for her.
“Damn fool,” I mutter. “She’ll never be with you now.”
Inside, I turn on the lights and grab a beer from the fridge. A few minutes later I see the headlights from a truck, and soon enough my living room is filled with the Koleman brothers.
There’s Blaine, the oldest - and the biggest asshole. Then Weston, my twin, who wants to keep the peace and be the best single father he can. I’m proud of him. Unlike Blaine, he knows what matters most in this world - family.
Then there’s Bennett, my youngest brother, and what the girls would call the prettiest of us. He was voted fucking prom king in high school and that reputation has followed him everywhere he goes.
My only sister, Willow - Bennett’s twin, has been gone a year, but I would never have called her here for this. She’s hated everything bear since she was a teenager. Secretly I wonder if she isn’t jealous that she doesn’t carry the same genetic mutation as us. But it’s almost unheard of for a female to be a bear shifter.
“You going to tell us what the hell is going on?” Blaine asks.
Weston and Bennet grab themselves beers and find a seat, both looking at me with raised brows.
I pace the room, my bear just as unsettled as I am.
“So, did you sleep with her? The bookstore chick?” Bennett finally asks with a laugh.
“Shut up.” Blaine scowls, shaking his head.
“What? Maybe the sex was so bad he made her cry.”
I clench my fists into balls and Weston seems to notice my intensity, because he says calmly but firmly, “You’re not funny.”
Bennett smirks. “Tell me you weren’t thinking it too.”
Blaine snaps, “Let him talk.”
“Fine,” Bennett says, lifting his hands in defense. “So then why was she crying?”
I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. “Because I scared her.”
Untamed Virgins (Mountain Men of Bear Valley Book 1) Page 5
