Chains (The Club #8)

by t. h. snyder

  “No, Connor, this is not a staged meeting of the minds, but we are two people that care a lot about you. Ever since that night at The Club with Jesika, you’ve been distant and off in your own little world. For heaven’s sake, you haven’t even come to The Club since that night. When it comes to sexual needs, I know you just as well as you know yourself. How the hell have you not gone off the deep end is beyond me.”

  “I appreciate you both for coming out to me, really I do, but there’s no need to intervene in my life. I’ve been just fine on my own up ‘til now, I sure as hell don’t need the two of you meddling in business that is none of yours,” I retort, pushing away from the table and moving to stand. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do with my evening.”

  Peter and Ashley stand before I gesture for them to sit. Knowing me as well as they do, they realize that there’s no use pushing the conversation any further. Once I set my mind on something I stick to it…I always have the final word.

  Reaching the door, I step outside and release a deep breath. The anxiety building within my chest was not something I was willing to expose in front of them. There’s no way I can share the pain raging inside of me and the loss I feel for Jesika.

  I need some air, some time to rationalize just what I need to do, and something that will help me see the light within the darkness of my soul.

  Tonight I need some time to unwind, a change from my norm of vegging out on the couch with a bottle of wine, so I take a cab downtown. Walking along the streets, I’m mesmerized as various men and women pass me by. I’ve always been a people watcher; it’s who I am and what I love to do. As a photographer, I capture images of models, watch them get into a character and imagine a story line to go with hundreds of photos. Now, taking the time to observe without my lens in hand, I have a different appreciation for each person that passes in my direction. As I near one of the many fountains in front of the museum, I decide to sit and enjoy the peaceful sounds of chatter, laughter and the trickling water.

  Spacing off, I notice a couple stopping just a few feet away from me to admire one of the large pieces displayed in the front window. I can’t help but pay close attention as they hold each other in their arms, smiles spread across their faces. So much love and devotion displayed in their expressions, it’s almost too painful for me to watch.

  An ache begins to fill my chest as thoughts of loneliness seep into my subconscious. If only I could find a love like theirs. Someone to love me for my quirks, my insecurities and the ways which make me unique. Throughout my lifetime, I honestly can say that I’ve never been truly in love. Maybe it’s the fears that pull me away or the fact that every time I’ve gotten close to a man the rug’s been pulled out from under my feet.

  At this point a year ago, my story could have been different, had I done things that made him happy, shared in his interests and allowed my insecurities to fall to the way side. But I didn’t. Seeing him again a few weeks ago was almost impossible to bear. Watching him stand and stare back at me as the words Ashley said started to sink in, yet I was afraid I wasn’t good enough for him or the lifestyle he chose to live. With scattered emotions I just up and left him…again.

  The memories of the times the two of us shared are remarkable, other than the moments in which I ran away. I never gave him a chance, an opportunity for him to show me the aspects of his life he preferred to keep a secret.

  I can’t help but wonder, if he did care and want more with me, why didn’t he share the intimate details of his character…or did he? I can’t fathom a successful man such as Connor Samson wanting an average southern belle who would rather wear a pair of run down chucks than the Louis Vuitton’s her mother purchased her for Christmas last year.

  Ugh, I don’t know why I torture myself.

  Snapping out of my mental anguish, I stand up from the concrete surrounding the fountain, deciding to call it a night. Walking along the sidewalk, I watch for an available cab. Seeing one approach, I stop and wait for it to come to a complete stop. The door opens as a man steps out.

  My eyes immediately take in his presence, my heart beat accelerating as our eyes connect. Without a word, he closes the cab door and steps onto the sidewalk. I feel as if my jaw is sitting wide open. Attempting to swallow, I can’t. My throat is bone dry and, for the life of me, I can’t even blink an eye as I stare back into his deep, dark eyes.

  “Jesika,” he says breathlessly.

  Closing my lips, I blink a few times to make certain this moment is actually happening. He’s standing here, directly in front of me and my body is frozen in place.

  He continues to watch me, as the feeling of stupidity registers through my clouded thoughts.

  “Connor, wh-what are you doing here?” I ask in a trembling tone.

  Pulling me further onto the sidewalk, he continues to hold my hand as his eyes trace every inch of my face. I can’t help the overwhelming feeling that is rushing through me. Having him here, standing so close to me and looking at me with such admiration warms my heart.

  “I was out for drinks with some friends and after an unexpected surprise hit me, I needed to get out and get some air. I love the museum here,” he says nodding to the building behind us. “So here I am…and here you are.”

  I watch as his lips curl up into a smile, his eyes shining back at me.

  “I’m glad you’re here, but I was just about to leave,” I remark, looking away from his gaze.

  Lifting my chin with his fingers, he pulls me to look up at him.

  “Don’t go, stay with me. I’d love if you’d accompany me. ”

  Nodding, I smile back to him.

  “I’d like that too,” I reply as we walk together to the doors of the museum.

  Throughout the next few hours, Connor and I fall back into the rhythm we once experienced. His company, intellect for the arts and appreciation for beauty is astounding. I can’t help but watch him as he gazes intently at the paintings and sculptures. The passion in his eyes pure and sending a wave of peace through me to see him so calm and relaxed.

  Standing in front of the final display, a female voice announces that the museum will be closing in fifteen minutes. Connor looks down to his watch and then back up to me raising his brow.

  “I guess we lost track of time,” I say with a smile.

  “I always get lost in time when I’m with you, Jesika,” he responds stepping in closer to me. “You have a way about you that makes me forget the man I am, it frightens me.”

  Swallowing the lump rising in my throat, I lick my lips to moisten the dryness as my heart begins to race.

  He raises his hands and cups them against my face drawing our mouths together. His lips against mine feel incredible. Everything surrounding me goes black as I close my eyes. His tongue traces and pushes against the seam of my lips, I instantly grant him access. My hands pull toward the back of his jacket, urging him to deepen the kiss. As our tongues dance together, I’m swept away into a pool of emotions. This man makes me feel like nothing else in the world matters right now but us. I can’t help but want so much more, yet I am afraid.

  A groan escapes his throat as he ends the kiss, resting his forehead against mine.

  “Jesika, you have the power to destroy me,” he whispers.

  “No, Connor, I’d never,” I reply.

  “Will you allow me to show you the man I really am and try to be the man you make me want to be?”

  Stepping away from him, I look into his eyes. The man who demands control, is gazing back to me with a look of fear. I want nothing more than to share in everything he has to offer, even if it means shelling my insecurities.

  “Yes, Connor. Take me, show me and let me see the man you really are.”

  No words are said as he intertwines our fingers and leads me out of the museum into the night.

  Stepping out of the cab in front of Connor’s condo, a moment of déjà vu hits me. Glancing down both sides of the sidewalk, memories from our past linger in my min
d. I don’t want tonight clouded with what’s happened before. Right here, right now, I want things to be different. If he is willing to show me, I must let down my guard and accept him as the man he is.

  He reaches for my hand, warmth spreading through my arm from his touch. A smile forms across my face as hope and excitement rush through me. Together we walk through the lobby toward the elevator leading us to his home. Standing outside his door, he pauses for a moment before moving inside.

  “Last time I brought you here things didn’t end well for us. Tonight, I don’t want you to fear me. I’ll never hurt you again, Jesika. I need for you to understand that. You bring something out in me that I’ve never felt before. It’s because of you that I’m willing to try, but know now it’s not going to be easy. From this point moving forward there’s nothing I want more than to make memories with you of us.”

  As I listen to the words coming from him, I can’t help but want him even more. Apart we may be a disaster, but together, allowing our walls to crumble, we can become something beautiful.

  “I want that too, Connor. Please, take me inside,” I request stepping onto my tiptoes and kissing his lips.

  He opens the door, escorting me through the condo as he leads us up the stairs to his room. Once inside, he flips on a switch which dimly illuminates the room. My eyes scan my surroundings as I take a few steps toward the bed centered on the far wall. Dark curtains drape along a large window, black bedding covers a king sized bed accentuated by dark wooden furniture. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but his room is beautiful.

  I can feel his body approach, the hairs on the back of my neck standing at attention as anticipation surges through me. His hand falls onto my shoulder, pushing the strands of hair from one side of my neck to the other. Pressing his body against mine, I lean my head to the side, exposing my neck as he begins to trail kisses from the lobe of my ear to my shoulder. A tingling sensation rolls through me while his hands begin to roam over my body. In this moment, I feel nothing but pure bliss. Every fear and insecurity I’ve ever felt is pushed away as I let my walls down, trusting him with my mind, body and soul.

  “I want to touch you,” I voice in a breathless whisper.

  Turning me toward him, he captures my lips with his. My hands instantly reach up into his hair as our tongues unite. Urgency floods my veins, my impulse and need taking over my every thought. He nips my bottom lip, a moan pulling from my throat. Our mouths rapture one another, as my hands shift to remove his jacket from his shoulders. Without breaking away from our kiss, we rapidly discard our shirts, shoes and pants.

  Feeling braver than I ever have, I choose this moment to take matters into my own hands and I trace my fingertips along the muscles of his back toward the curve of his ass before falling down onto my knees. Pulling his silky boxer briefs down, his erection springs free. I can’t help but stare, he’s completely shaven. A cock is a cock, but I have to say his is the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. Wrapping my fingers around his length, I can barely grasp it in my hold. Quickening my movements, I feel his thick vein pulsing against my palm. Precum oozes from his tip as I wonder what he may taste like.

  Sitting upright on my knees, I lean forward about to take him in my mouth.

  “Jesika, you don’t have to…”

  He stops mid sentence as I tighten him into my grasp, my tongue swirling around his head. His hands reach for the back of my head encouraging me to take him all in. Taking in a deep breath, I open the back of my throat while pushing the smooth skin of his shaft into my mouth. Removing my grip from his cock, my hands grab onto his hips, working him slowly and then faster pushing him further past my lips. As the tip hits the back of my throat, a gagging sensation makes me slow down a bit. His loud growl reassures me I should continue, releasing all doubt of my inexperience and allowing me to take pleasure in his reaction I’m creating. His continued moans urge me to suck harder, my left hand moving to massage his balls. I can feel he’s getting closer, but I don’t want to stop.

  “Jesika, I’m going to…..ohhhh!” he roars, fisting my hair in his hands.

  His release explodes into my mouth, the warm sensation coating the back of my throat as I swallow and suck down every last drop of his climax.

  With heavy breaths, he pulls me up onto my feet. Together we stand, chest to chest offering our bodies to the other. My breasts swell against his upper body, my panties soaked with yearning. With careful movements, Connor guides me toward his bed, the back of my legs feeling the cool material of his satin sheets. His hand cradles me from behind as he lays me down onto the bedding, his strong body moving to hover over me as his lips once again find mine.

  My sexual need is heightened as he pulls my bra down exposing my breast. His hand massages me, his mouth moving from my lips, to my collarbone. Arching my back, I encourage him by raising my swelling bosom to his mouth. His tongue trails a gentle pattern around my nipple before taking it into his mouth.

  The need I feel for this man is incredible, I can’t stand another moment without him inside of me.

  “Connor, please, I need to feel you,” I release in a hushed tone.

  “Patience, Jesika, let me treasure every inch of you,” he responds moving himself down the length of my body.

  His hands slide down my stomach to my panties where he pulls them down my legs, discarding them onto the floor. Our eyes meet as he spreads my legs and positions himself atop of my most sensitive area.

  “I want to taste you,” he utters before leaning his face against my wetness, his eyes never leaving mine.

  Closing my eyes, my world spins uncontrollably as the feel of his tongue swirls around my pulsing clit.

  “Open your eyes, I want you to watch me pleasure you,” he states in a demanding tone.

  The feel of his warm breath, his tongue and the sucking sensation he’s producing brings me such satisfaction. My entire body is tingling with desire as he inserts two fingers into my channel, pumping them in and out with a steady rhythm.

  “Yes, right there…ohh God please don’t stop,” I shout.

  “Mmmm,” he purrs into me.

  The vibration of his lips against me feels so good. The moment he curls his fingers hitting my G spot, he sucks harder on my nub. As he bites down onto my clit, I can’t hold back any longer. My release takes over, my hands reach down to his head and my fingers pull his dark locks. A moment of pure ecstasy takes over every one of my senses as my legs tremble and I allow my body to fall.

  “Watching you come for me was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, it was breathtaking.”

  Sunlight drifts in through the window as I watch Jesika sleep. Resting myself up onto my side, I trail delicate circles against her soft skin with the tip of my finger. Her body squirms beneath my touch and I can’t help but smile.

  Smile…when was the last time I felt the need to let that happen?

  I’m not certain what I’m feeling right now, but the way she pulls me to her is unbelievable. Our past is just that, the past. I don’t want to wallow in what should have or could have happened any longer. Right now, with her next to me, there’s nothing more I want than to have her right here in my bed.

  Rolling over onto her back, long strands of hair fan onto the pillow. With sleepy eyes, she turns to look at me, her hazel eyes sparkling.

  “Mmmm,” she purrs.

  “Good morning, gorgeous,” I respond.

  Pushing a few stray hairs off her brow, she leans into my touch. The warmth of her skin against my hand sends a sensation through my body. Her hand reaches for mine, wrapping it around her waist as she turns and pushes her back against my chest. Our bodies are completely bare, skin to skin resting next to one another. Feeling her like this makes my heart yearn…something I didn’t think was ever possible. Jesika has the ability to open my eyes to so many things I’ve never experienced and with her, I believe I’m finally ready to let someone hold a piece of me that I’ve left abandoned for far too long.

  “W
hat time is it?” she asks in a groggy tone.

  I can’t help but laugh, even something as simple as the tenor of her voice makes me smile.

  “It’s still quite early, but I have to leave soon for the office.”

  With quick movements, she pushes my arm off of her body and bolts off the bed. It isn’t until she rushes past my chest of drawers, where she catches her reflection, that she notices she’s completely naked.

  “Oh shit, umm, damn it. Shit sorry, I’m just…” she continues to mumble to herself as she looks up to me, a sudden blush forming along her cheeks. “Work, I have to get to work. Oh my God, what time is it, Connor?”

  The panic coming from her words and the frazzled woman standing before me urges me to help her. Moving from the bed, I shift around the room picking up her loose articles of clothing. As I step in front of her, she covers herself with her arms. Her modesty is not lost on me, but the way she feels about herself is something perhaps I can help her with.

  Tossing the pile of clothes onto the bed, I pull her body up against mine.

  “Jesika, you are absolutely gorgeous and I refuse to stand here and watch as you try to hide your beauty from me. There’s nothing about you that should ever be hidden from my eyes, do you understand that?”

  She nods and rests the side of her face against my chest. For a few moments, we stand together as the rhythm of her heart beats against my skin.

  “Thank you, Connor,” she speaks in a low tone.

  “And what would it be you’re thanking me for?” I reply, stroking her long hair against her back.

  “Allowing me in…again. I know things won’t be easy, there’s so much we still have to learn about one another. But I promise you this, I’ll try…I’ll learn and I’ll never run away from you again. That is, if you’ll have me.”

  “I don’t think you’ve ever truly run away from me, for one reason or another we’ve been pulled to each other. I, too, promise you this, I’ll try…I’ll show you and I’ll never let you go again.”