by Dale Mayer
“He’s a terrorist so there’s no way to know for sure, but the maps we found on the boat indicate they were actually after the Oakland Bay Bridge not the Golden Gate as we’d first thought.”
“Oh good Lord.” She slowly finished off her plate. “So all the work you’ve done on this so far was for naught.”
“Not really. I think he was using the men and the fishing boat as a trial run to figure out the kinds of problems he’d run into on his real expedition.”
“Nasty.”
“But typical.”
“So now both bridges need to be guarded.”
He grinned. “Absolutely.”
She shook her head and placed her empty plate down on the coffee table then retook her seat. She hated the sudden awkwardness between them.
“Come here.”
Her head flew up and she stared at him. He had his arms open. She narrowed her gaze and asked suspiciously, “Why?”
“Because you want to.”
Damn his tone was smug. Then again he was right. She did want to.
She straightened and stood up, walked the two steps toward him and stopped. He motioned for her to sit down on his lap. She laughed. “Really. You want to cuddle. I figured you’d be ready for bed by now,” she scolded.
“And maybe I am,” he said, reaching up and tugging her onto his lap. “But it’s good to hold you. Just cuddle and remember the reason why life is so precious.”
Curled up in his arms, her hands laid against the warmth of his bare chest, she said, “You’re right. I’ve done a lot of thinking about just that these last few days.”
“Almost dying will do that to a person.”
“Have you had that happen?”
He wrapped his arms around her and snugged her up tight. “Yes, I have. And had warm sunny days where I wondered what I was here for. Or why I was on this place called planet earth in the first place. And have often wondered, if there was more for me out there.” He gave a half laugh. “Heavy philosophical thoughts for a military man, right?”
“Not at all. In your job you see a lot of the unpleasantness of life. And a lot more death than most people.” She reached up to stroke the side of his face gently. “It’s only natural that you’d think deeper than most.”
“I suppose.” He smiled down at her. “What made you so sweet?”
“I’m not sweet. Retiring. Shy. Insecure. Withdrawn even. Hard to step forward. Can’t see myself in any kind of major role in life.” Her nose got rapped for that. She laughed. “And I’ve often thought the exact same things as you. Wondering what my purpose in life is. If I had one.”
“Of course you do.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “We all do. It just might take a little longer to find it for some of us.”
“Do you feel you have found it? Your place in the world?”
“Yes, but I also wondered what else there is, like I said. There’s a part of me that feels something is missing.”
“Missing?” She turned to look up at him, propping her arm on his chest. “Or…empty?”
“That was very intuitive of you.” He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “But you’re right. I’ve been alone, played lots, had many women, but lately…”
“It’s not been the same.”
“No. It hasn’t been. And now I know why?” He tugged her up high against his chest and dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead. And another one on her nose. Then each cheek. She closed her eyes and relaxed against him as he kissed her closed eyelids, first one then the other.
Such peace as she’d never known descended on her. She snuggled her head into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. How could such a strong man, so powerful in so many ways, strong yet controlled with that strength, be so tender?
She didn’t know, but she loved it that he could.
And she was afraid that it would be hard to avoid falling in love with him.
If she hadn’t done so already.
*
Now that was much better.
She slept the sleep of an angel. Deep relaxed calm breaths, her body limp as it rested…and healed. She was a long way away from normal health, yet she was on the right path.
He knew he needed to stand up and move her over to the bed so she’d sleep properly, but it was so damn nice to just hold her.
His body wanted so much more. After a shitty day following several other shitty days, he wanted something to rejoice. She was safe and sound and that was huge, but having her be his, acknowledged verbally so there was no doubt in his mind she was his in all ways – now that was an ending he could wish for.
Sad to think he’d come to this.
Or maybe not. Like Mason, this was long overdue.
His angel shifted in his arms, trying to get comfortable. That had to be impossible. His protective instincts roused, he adjusted her in his arms, stood up and carried her to her bed. Thankfully the covers were still in disarray, so he could lay her on the sheets, managing to get the housecoat off, and cover her up. But there was no way he was going to leave her to sleep alone.
Not as tried as he was. He walked around and crawled under the covers on the far side. He’d lost his towel somewhere in the journey, and that was fine by him. He always slept in the nude.
She instinctively curled toward him. He tugged her closer. She snuggled right against him.
He smiled, and content for the first time in a long time, he slept.
Chapter 22
She woke to a furnace. That was the only way she could describe this massive register of heat emanating off of Hawk. She lay still half asleep, her arm tucked up against his chest, his leg thrown across her legs pinning her in place.
The two of them entwined in the bed.
Nice.
His breathing was slow and deep. He’d been put through the ringer these last few days. She was sorry for her part in it but damn glad he’d rescued her. A girl could do a lot worse than snuggling up close to a hero.
She had to smile. She doubted he’d consider himself hero material. But he was all the way, right down to the heavy shadow on his face. Dark locks fell across his forehead that tempted her to reach up and straighten, but she didn’t want to disturb him. Still Mother Nature called. She crept out of the bed and used the washroom.
When she snuck back in to the bed, he reached out and dragged her closer.
“Where were you?” he murmured in a sleepy voice.
“I had to go to the bathroom.”
He opened his eyes. Took a moment to assess his surroundings, the timing, the moment, she could almost hear the answers clicking into place in his brain, before he came to a quick awareness.
Then he rolled above her, the weight on his elbows, settling himself exactly in the right place. And stared down at her.
She sucked in her breath as his erection prodded her sensitive skin. Oh Lord. She could feel her body wanting to weep in joy. She slid her hands up his chest, her gaze locked on his.
And waited. He searched her face as if looking for something. She wanted him to find whatever he needed but had no clue.
“Hawk?”
“Hmmm?” He lowered his head and dropped light tender kisses on her puffy face and she realized what he’d been looking for, healing. Signs that she was okay. That she was improving. That she was ready for this.
“I won’t break, you know.”
His mouth kicked up at the corner. “So you’ve proven several times already.”
She laughed. “Well, I might have had a bone or two broken but…I’m feeling much better now.”
“Shouldn’t have happened in the first place.”
“Maybe and maybe not. If it brought us here to this place…right now…I’m good with it.”
She could feel his startled response and see the surprise lighting his dark gaze. Had she gone too far?
“I’d have done anything to have saved you from all of this,” he whispered, his warm breath bathing her face as he kissed her cheekbone, his
touch feather soft. Her other cheek received a kiss too.
A wave of emotion washed through her, and she reached up and wrapped her arms around him and held him close.
“Love me,” she wished. “At least for the moment. For a little while.”
Scared to hear his response, she shifted so she could kiss him. She ignored her sore mouth and puffy lips. And kiss him she did. Trying to inveigle all the pain and longing she’d kept pent up inside her for so long. To let him know how he’d touched her. How he’d made her so much more than she was. That he’d been there for her when she’d been lost and that he didn’t even know he’d saved her several times over.
When she went to pull back she realized he wasn’t letting her go, he was kissing her back as long and emotionally deep as she’d kissed him.
Starting after a long lean lifetime, she sank into his embrace and let go.
For the first time ever, she let go in all ways.
She let him do what he wanted, how he wanted and then she did what she wanted. How she wanted. By the time he was ready to enter her body, she was shaking with emotion, trembling from the keen edge of pain and joy already racing through her body as he kept her on the cliff.
He entered slowly as if making sure to not hurt her. And he wouldn’t. Ever. She wanted him. But not to hold back. She wanted all of him, now.
“Hawk,” she cried out. “Now.”
His dark laugh made her twist upwards, her body arching to receive all he had to give. She reached up and tried to tug him down to her. But he resisted. Instead he changed position and pulled her forward across his thighs then grabbed her hips to pull her tight up against his hips as he drove himself deeper.
She cried out as he touched her core.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked, his voice dark, guttural.
A laugh broke free. Clenching her tummy, she sat up tall and slid her arms around his neck, now under-standing why he’d been hesitating before. Her cracked ribs, collarbone. She smiled against his lips, “How do you feel about riding?”
He leaned back on his hands as she started to move.
“I love riding,” he said in a fervent whisper. “Even better I love that you love riding.”
Her laughter rang free as she held on to his shoulders and took them both to the edge – she paused – he groaned – and she moved faster.
He clutched her hips and pounded upwards.
And knocked her off the cliff. She cried out, arching backwards.
He never lost his rhythm, his breath coming hard and fast, and giving one hard jerk, his seed poured inside her womb.
Tremors rippled over her skin as he gently lowered her to the bed, a fine mist giving both their bodies a warm glow.
She wanted to comment on it but didn’t have the energy. Now she was damn tired. How did that work? She should be energized. And she was, but she was also just wanting to close her eyes and rest.
“Sleep. I’ll find us coffee.”
“Perfect,” she whispered.
“No.” He leaned over her as he snugged the sheet up to her chest. “You’re perfect.”
She fell asleep with a smile on her face.
*
“So damn perfect,” he muttered in a low voice as he stood a moment longer than he should. He forced himself to turn away and dress. Urgency was riding him. He was late. He knew it. He was never late. If he was today, the guys would know why. Shit. Then he stopped. Of course they’d know. And this time, he wanted them to know.
Yes, he was keeping her.
But they’d better not smirk at her. Or do anything that would make her uncomfortable. Then he sighed. They wouldn’t. Not these guys. Not with anyone’s lady friend. At least not a serious special one.
He was a lucky man.
And damn if he was going to be stupid about it.
He didn’t know about that whole love thing, especially considering he’d never been in love before. But if wanting to whisk her away to a deserted island to keep her safe where she could have his babies and be his only for the rest of his life didn’t qualify – he couldn’t imagine what would.
His phone rang.
He checked the number. Cooper.
“I’m ready.”
And with a last glance toward the bedroom, he walked out.
There was no way to know if he’d ever be able to walk back in.
In the car, he said to Cooper, “If you’ve got time…” he broke off.
“I’ve got it.”
Hawk nodded. “Thanks.”
“No thanks required. We all love her. You’re a lucky man, Hawk.”
He grinned. “Yeah I am and I know it.”
Cooper pulled into the hanger just then. Hawk got out, ready to start his day.
Chapter 23
She woke up with a smile on her face.
Until she realized the hotel room was empty.
Hawk was gone.
He’d said something about coffee. How long did that take? Order a little room service. Slip out to the coffee shop around the corner?
She had no idea. But there was a terrible finality to the emptiness.
Fear clutched at her heart. Had he meant to come back and couldn’t? Had something happened to him? No, he was a SEAL. Of all the people who could take care of themselves it would be him.
She dampened down the fear. It was likely something simple – as in he’d been called away. That was all it would be. There was an imminent terrorist attack. Last night was stolen time.
She got up and showered, slowly running the soap over her body, reliving the night of loving. He was a masterful lover. Experienced. But more than that, he was so damn caring. Made her feel like the only woman in his life.
Of course he’d never said anything to her about tomorrows or even today, Neither had she after her initial plea – that she’d then not given him a chance to answer.
She’d figured he’d say the wrong thing to what she wanted to hear. And she couldn’t have had that. She didn’t want him to lie. Nor would she have wanted anything to change the magic of the moment.
She’d have missed something wonderful if she had. Now she couldn’t stop remembering his hands as they’d slid over her skin, or the feel of his lips as he’d explored her ribs or the bones running up and down her spine. Was there any skin he hadn’t touched? She rolled her neck, easing the stiffness. She’d slept so heavily her body ached in places she’d forgotten existed. Then again she probably couldn’t blame her sleep for that. Hawk had been wild and creative and so damn strong.
She gave a happy sigh, shampooed her hair yet again and let the water flow over her head until it ran clear. Finally done, she stepped out of the shower and wrapped up in a towel.
The mirror caught her eye. A sparkling face shone back at her. A well loved face. Or rather, a well loved puffy face. She laughed.
Much of the swelling had gone down, leaving her face looking almost normal now. The lips were still puffy, but that could have been from Hawk’s kisses.
Soon the evidence of what she’d gone through would be minimal.
And she could return to a normal life.
Whatever that meant.
She walked to her bed and sat down on the side. Did that matter? She was going home. Back to sharpen her search and rescue skills.
But that seemed so little now. Like an old life, not the life she wanted for herself. But she no longer knew what she wanted.
That was because she was no longer the same person. This had been a life changing event for her.
So what did she want?
She flopped back on the bed and considered that if all things were equal, what would she like to do?
She’d love to do more with her photography. Something she’d stopped doing because there’d seemed to be little point. Or maybe the truth was a lack of confidence. She’d done nothing with it, shown very few people the images she’d captured. But she could. Some were wonderful – at least to her. In her dreams, she’d love to produce coffee ta
ble books. Nice concept. But poor at paying the bills. Besides, she only took her camera on trips. She could hardly make trips to just take pictures – or could she?
Maybe she just wanted to do more. Helping Eva with the animals was nice and all, as they were awesome, but it was Eva’s dream, not Mia’s.
And the world had changed. Maybe picture books were possible, but they wouldn’t be bestsellers.
She frowned. She didn’t even know where her camera was. She’d been through so much shit she had no idea. She’d had it when she’d been caving. Then she got the message about her father being dead and everything after that had been a blank storm.
She no longer knew. Had it come back with their gear? And if it had, did it have anything she could use.
She got up and dressed in the clothes someone had taken the time to buy for her and made the bed. Hawk had promised coffee, but there wasn’t any. Except her mind kept nudging her. Where had he gone? And was he coming back?
A knock on the door startled her. She froze then ran to the door. Hawk?
She opened it without looking through the peephole. She knew instinctively she’d done the wrong thing.
Then she recognized the man in front of her.
Cooper. Hawk had mentioned something about Cooper not being on active duty as he was recovering from an accident. Apparently, he was happy to play nursemaid for her, holding coffee and a takeout bag advertising a local baker.
Her face fell. She stepped back and opened the door wider. “Hi Cooper.” She mustered a smile for the man who’d been so good at organizing her life. “Right on time again.”
“Actually, I’m running a little behind. Sorry.”
He walked inside and handed her the coffee and the bag. “Breakfast for you.”
She accepted both and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.” Then she motioned to the couch. “Can you stay?”
He shook his head. “Not long.”
She nodded and opened her bag. She gave him a fat grin as she saw the beignets. “Really? You found these here?”
He laughed. “Well, I certainly didn’t fly these in from New Orleans.”
She took the lid off her cup and sniffed the hot heady brew. “Lovely. Thank you so much.”
