by M A Price
“How bad is he?” Katanya asked, not even bothering to hide the concern in her voice.
“He’ll live, I think,” Camrin’s gruffly replied as he gaped worryingly at the head wound.
Katanya made no effort to say anything more, Dexter seemed to need all of Camrin’s concentration, so she turned back towards the table. Mara was still loitering by the door and the only other two people in the room were Fendir, his armour considerably unblemished but a cut across his right cheek and Yenna who had found the time to change out of her battle-worn clothes.
“Where is Jengen?” she enquired, hoping.
“Getting everyone packed,” Ivloch sighed. He would miss this camp.
Camrin finished with Dexter and they gathered around the table in their usual places. Even Mara slowly edged closer with Ivloch’s request. He squeezed the girl's shoulder and they shared a look of pain only Katanya seemed to notice. Idyn’s loss reverberated around the room.
Reyn stood uneasily in what was usually Dexter’s place. He hadn’t regained consciousness despite Camrin’s best efforts.
“Do we know how many we lost?” Ivloch eventually asked to break the difficult and heated silence.
“Thirty-four dead, five missing.” The report came from Yenna, her anger laced in every syllable. “There is a similar amount of their dead.”
Ivloch didn’t react to the news, but Katanya could see he was quickly weighing their options, as he always did; the new data presented to him, being added to all other known variables. He started to pace around the table. Fendir seemed to find the action unsettling.
Katanya and Reyn were the only ones ready and awaiting orders; the idea of him looking to her leader for…anything felt oddly natural. She was impressed. He hadn’t pushed the others to talk to him; but neither had he balked from the idea.
They had met initially with Ivloch after the battle, when Reyn returned from protecting the children. Katanya had done the introductions. She was aware Ivloch had questions for her in private. She was ready, when the time came, but she was sure she had seen in Ivloch’s demeanour, that he accepted they must take this chance and trust the Prince.
Her whole mission had been to find them an ally and she had certainly succeeded. The one small piece of good news they had.
They had lost so much already.
On her way to the war council she had seen how many of her people had turned to prayer. She’d never been a religious person. She hardly believed in the cult of Kara or even in The Transmitter, despite what she had seen, despite what she knew of the Marks on Elex, Mara, Ivloch, and now Jaxon.
If Kara was a god, then what did that make The Unforgiven?
It was a horrifying notion; one she would not deign to entertain. But she did wish she could pray to something.
She would ask for a chance to make this better, any chance would do, something to give them a way to defeat their enemy, an enemy that could wait at any corner, so much stronger than they would ever be.
“I don’t have many options and we don’t have as many men as we would like but there is something we must do if we are to hold any chance of saving The Guild and Brodanna.” Ivloch’s speech roused her from her foolish, yet oddly profound thoughts.
“The Unforgiven cannot be beaten easily. We don’t have everything we need to stand a chance, and even if we did, it would still only be a small one. It’s going to take some time but If we do nothing, then make no mistake, they will win.”
Nobody dared look anywhere but at Ivloch.
He pointed to Reyn, who didn't falter beneath the weight of their newly redirected attention, not even the hateful stare from Camrin.
“Reyn Landress has watched The Unforgiven come into his home; they have killed his brother, broken his mother, and now stolen his sister. They have destroyed what being a ruler of Brodanna meant, what being from Kara’s line meant. He believes there is a way into the palace for our men; that he and Katanya can get us in. He can help us remove The Unforgiven from the palace…”
Reyn hadn't told Ivloch everything; but he had given The Guild the information they needed and promised to help them. Even without her by his side.
“Sir...” Camrin began and Ivloch’s furious glare swung towards him.
“Not now Cassidy. You may leave if you can no longer follow orders.” Camrin made no move to leave but instead glanced back towards the table.
“I don’t know Reyn well, but he seems like a good man, and I do trust Kat; if she believes him then so ruddy well do I." Katanya felt her emotions betray her again, Ivloch had publicly declared his faith in her as a full member of The Guild. She willed herself to show no weakness.
“If we can manage to take the palace, then we will not be winning. We will not be doing any better than before. But we will have removed The Unforgiven from the centre of power in Brodanna. They won’t be able to use its legitimacy to bend the people of Brodanna to their will. Believe me it won’t be easy, we will lose more men, and I know we’ve seen more than enough death recently…” – a sound of agreement went through the table, “… but I don’t ruddy well know about you lot, but the reason I’m here is to protect the people. We may also be able to stop the serum from getting out. At least for a while.” Another sound of agreement, this time even heartier.
“We will still need the other Marked, we will still need answers to questions forged long ago, we will still need to defeat a bloody army, one far more powerful than we are. But it would be a ruddy big step in the right direction.”
He didn't need to say what would happen if they lost.
Seventy - Camrin
The conversation lingered on around the table for another hour.
They had buried the dead, all but Idyn, already. That was the last step before they would abandon this place forever.
Ivloch didn’t so much as look his way for the rest of the meeting and he couldn’t find it in himself to offer any opinions, good or bad.
Camrin had already decided this was his fault.
If he had been a better commander in Ivloch's absence or left Yenna to fight alone… He could have stayed in front of Mara. It could have been him. Anyone but Idyn.
His disgrace grew whenever his eyes wandered in the direction of Mara.
He did not like her, he didn’t even really wish her well, except for perhaps the fact she was the key to a war he didn’t even know if he deserved to win anymore, but Idyn had loved her. The anger he’d been holding onto had ruined the last moons he could have had with the brother he adored.
Blood or no blood, it was the only family he had ever believed in. Nothing had been worth wasting that time.
“Go, ready your families. In an hour we bury Idyn and we leave after,” Ivloch's voice boomed and Camrin thought of Dexter, he should move him somewhere safe, get him ready for transit. “Camrin, please stay with me a moment. Katanya, I will need to talk to you and Reyn before you leave. Return before the funeral.”
Yenna and Fendir left immediately, both desperate to clutch at any form of order to follow.
His sister regarded him: her grief buried but evident. An arm reached out and rubbed his back. She had no words, but they were both warriors; they had grown up with the other, understood the other’s moods and delicacies. Words would not help him and maybe not her, but they could help others.
He didn’t know if she knew what he had been hiding inside his tent since this all began, he saw no reason that she should except maybe the magic she possessed, stronger than most, but he felt she was giving him the message all the same and he promised to heed it after this was done. Perhaps he was just projecting onto her, it wouldn’t surprise him, but he would take it.
For Idyn and perhaps himself.
Katanya left, her arm steadying Mara as they went, as if the girl would fall over without her support, Reyn followed at a respectful distance. Would Mara manage when Katanya was gone? Could any of them? Without Idyn he doubted it.
Camrin remembered to turn to Ivlo
ch. As the others had left, the giant man’s shoulders had sagged, it made him smaller, somehow more vulnerable.
“What a ruddy day,” he sighed, his large bulk falling into the only remaining intact chair except Dexter's.
“They’re never usually this bad,” Camrin agreed.
“I know you loved him son.”
It took Camrin a moment to register Ivloch’s words. He had expected, despite the turmoil of the situation, to receive some form of tongue lashing regarding his behaviour in the meeting. He had stood against Ivloch in front of the rest of the commanders… Not to mention the broken promise he had made before he left for the Black Lands.
“I’m sorry son. I want you to know that I'm hard on you because I want you to succeed me, when my time comes.”
“I...”
“Always ruddy interrupting, aren’t you?” Ivloch grinned, a little colour coming back into his lined cheeks “It has always been you that will take over, I loved Elex and Idyn, and you know the bloody place in my heart that ginger ruddy User has, but they’ve always had other paths. Your path is mine and blimey do I wish it weren’t so. I want you to be the best, I ruddy need to know that someone will look after this shit when I’m gone.”
For the first time in a long time Camrin had no bitterness or anger to come back with; words seemed to escape him entirely.
Ivloch had assumed the role of a father, rather than the leader he had grown so accustomed to.
“I didn’t know…you always seem so…”
“Angry? Like your commander? In a way yes. I cannot express my love for you like I can with Katanya or any of the others. You are going to have to be a leader; more than just a ruddy soldier. It is the life we both chose.”
Camrin shuffled slightly, he did understand, no matter how much he wished he didn't.
"Believe me, when you take my Mark and have people like you to deal with you won't be so thankful. What happened when I was away?"
"I'm not ready. Not yet." The admission was true; but awful to say. "I want to be, but I've not been my best and I messed up. I thought I was better than I am."
A terrible way to learn the lesson.
“…Which is why I have to send you on a mission. A mission that’s probably as important as what we’re going to be doing at the palace. Whatever happens to us there you must carry it out. It'll be difficult, perhaps worse, but I'll be needed here and Katanya has her role. You do it and then we get you ready; if we ruddy well make it that far.”
Camrin spent the next few minutes listening to his mentor and father figure, and thinking of him as neither. He was still numb from all that had occurred; all of his failings.
He put his feelings about Idyn, Elex, Mara, and everyone else into a box as he prepared himself for what was to be the strangest and most dangerous experience of his life.
Ivloch asked him if there was a soldier he truly trusted to take with him. it was only then he let Idyn into his thoughts again but knew somehow that if he were still here, he would have left him with Mara, for both of their sakes.
He pointed slowly to the sleeping Dexter behind him.
“If he wakes…he’s quick, strong, and I’d trust him with most of our lives over anyone else.”
“Then he is yours to command.”
“Thank you…Ivloch, thank you for all of it.”
"I doubt he will give you the same offering, but he will go all the same. Don't fail me son and ruddy well find a way home."
Camrin didn’t wait for a response, or even to move Dexter as he hurried back to his own tent to collect not only his belongings but something which should have been Mara’s a long time ago.
He had a funeral to get to, a letter to deliver, and a mission to go on.
Maybe, just maybe, he did have someone he could make proud after all.
Seventy-One - Katanya
She’d offered to help Mara pack her things. The tent she had shared with Idyn looked so small. So empty.
Her friend glanced at her with a blank expression and refused. Katanya could understand but it didn’t make it feel any better. When Kyllian had died she had needed to be alone. To remember his smell, to have one last moment alone with him before life continued and the loss became real.
Reyn was still following her as she walked towards her own measly tent. Barely anything had come with her and Ballaca when they had arrived. Her things in the Spykelands might still exist; she might not ever know if Lorren didn't return with news of Nico. Seeing Fendir's anguish as he told her Lorren was missing had been another wound in her heart.
There would be a few things she could shove into a bag and waste time with before they returned to the pavilion. The talk with Ivloch would be hard. She could imagine what he was going to say; that strong look on his face as if he wasn’t hurting. At least she knew where she got it from...
Neither she or Reyn had uttered a word to each other since they left Mara, but she could see him looking around. He was taking in the people packing up their homes. The fear on their faces, sometimes mixed with sadness or rage. Others with love. Mourning whoever was gone, glad others were still here.
Yenna nodded to them as they passed her, a child clinging to her leg. Her hair was as brown as her mother's, her eyes the exact same amber. Katanya realised with a start she had let herself forget Yenna had a daughter. That every single time she went to battle she risked leaving the girl without a mother. Thoughts of her in Xave’s Lieutenants’ hands made her stomach curl. The girl just waved at Reyn.
He had clearly won some fans in The Guild.
There was so much they could all lose, and they were about to risk it more than ever. They had to make a stand, she knew that, but it had been a long time since she cared if it didn’t work.
She didn’t know the name of Yenna’s daughter, but her face stuck with her as she walked the rest of the way to her tent.
Reyn's eyes continued darting. He could look all he wanted. Part of her needed him to see the people here, to understand what they were risking. They had been attacked but it was her word which would make them risk this again. Her word which was telling them, telling Ivloch, to trust him. To trust he would do well by them.
After so long in the dark, so long pretending that these people didn't matter...
These people were all she had left.
They were all any of them had left.
Her tent was miraculously still standing. She’d purposefully put it as far away from all the people she had known when she first arrived. At the time it had been to avoid having to see or speak to them. Somehow, despite all the carnage earlier, the fighting had avoided this part of the camp. It remained as lonely and as untouched as ever.
“Do you want to come in?”
She whirled to face him, an unreadable expression across his angled features. She hadn’t noticed how the beard he had always clipped so neatly in the palace had grown out in the last few moons. Such a simple thing and not once on their way here had it registered.
It suited him.
She didn’t expect him to actually follow her and when he did; instantly regretted her offer. She sat cross-legged on the sleeping furs which still covered most of the floor and grabbed the bag she’d used as a pillow. A slight smile curled his lips as he situated himself beside her. Their long legs couldn't help but touch in the small space. There was nowhere to escape the proximity of the other’s body. She thought of their night camping. Of the fleeting hug she had allowed herself to need.
She would not say want. She could not want it. Him. He was not Kyllian and he was the Prince of Brodanna.
She told herself she was being foolish. It had been an emotional time and she just wanted some comfort. The type Dexter had provided, or the man in her bed back in The Spykelands, his name forgotten once more. Nothing more.
“Why are you smiling?” she growled.
“Well…” the smirk grew into a grin that she wanted to wipe straight off his smarmy face. “I never expected you to be messy Katanya
Leshi.”
She promptly threw the tunic she had picked up at his face. He didn’t stop his laughing and after catching it, just clutched it in his hands.
“It’s not a bad thing, you have a way of surprising me is all.”
“Not every girl is some uppity little madam you meet in a palace or have selected by your devilish dad,” she quipped.
Katanya realised what she had said as soon as she glanced up. The rippling look of betrayal. The things he had told her about Denara and his father. The child.
She reached for his hand, but he drew it back, closing himself off.
There had always been men, she hadn’t been innocent since Kyllian and had never wanted to be. Her body desired what it may, but her heart had remained locked. They had never come to her tent before. Her bed back at her little house yes, but only into the other room. Never the one she had shared with Kyllian, that had been theirs and theirs alone. The door only opened when she needed to go in and remember; a foolish superstition, but one she had kept all the same.
This felt different, intimate in a way that alarmed her. He was seeing parts of her no man or woman had seen in years... Since…
It felt like a betrayal. To Kyllian. To herself.
Reyn’s smile was gone, a coldness in its place.
She didn’t let it stop her as she placed the rest of her clothes into the bag.
She should apologise to him. Explain….
“I’ll go outside whilst you roll up your bed.”
“Don’t.”
“You’ve made it clear what you think of me Katanya.”
She cursed as she reached for his hand again. She pulled it into hers. Much further than it had been before the battle.
“I haven’t actually.” She bit her lip, an old anxious habit. “I actually think you’re probably one of the best people I’ve met in a long time. I mean I’m not very good at meeting people so…” She shook her head. She wasn’t doing this right.
“Reyn… you unnerve me. You make me think about what I’m doing, and I care about what you think. That’s different for me. I don’t really know how to navigate it.”
