Thanking Clay and Sophie Everett for letting her stay at his beautiful ranch was next on her list, but the Everetts were still out of town, so she sat down on the sofa, pen and paper in hand, crossed her legs and put a thick Cowboys and Indians magazine underneath the paper to compose her thank-you note.
She was very grateful to everyone associated with the Flying E Ranch. They’d welcomed her with open arms, making sure she was comfortable in the cottage/cabin she’d called home for this month. A girl could get used to...
Tears filled her eyes as she penned her letter of thanks and when she was through, she realized how very much this place meant to her. In a sense she’d become a different woman here, someone who took stock in her own capabilities, someone who’d ventured out to take risks and had grown into a stronger person for it. She’d learned to love again too, the real kind of love, not just some whimsical fascination with a man, but to feel deeply inside and know what beamed brightly inside her was true and honest.
Yes, she could look at Dan and say this time with him had been eye-popping. She’d fallen in love and also helped with an investigation. Both had given her joy, but right now, both were ending in disappointment. At least for her.
She sealed the letter to Clay, closing one more door to Texas.
She spent the rest of the afternoon, straightening out the place, putting things back in order. Her mother always told her to leave a place better than when she’d arrived. Well, the cabin was perfect in her estimation, but she did find some wildflowers growing outside and filled a vase and placed it on top of the mantel.
She lit candles in cinnamon and apple fragrances that filled the entire cabin with the spirit of the holiday season. And she baked a quick batch of ready-made cookies. The mingling of scents wafted in the air. The only thing missing was a crackling fire in the fireplace, but she didn’t have the heart to go that far.
By five o’clock, the sun was falling into the sky, leaving a dim, murky coolness behind. She was dressed in her favorite outfit, a bulky cream sweater and long black skirt. She wore boots and bustled around the kitchen, until the knock came at the door.
She heard the rumblings of Lucky, his tail swishing against the door, his whimpers in anticipation of being let inside. It made her smile. In that moment, quickly and without regret, she made a decision. It was probably the hardest decision of her life, but if she’d learned one thing by being there in Texas, it was to be strong, and do what you deemed was right. She’d been hiding behind her recent bad relationship too long.
It wasn’t going to be easy and if the moment wasn’t right, she may very well back out, but at least she had determination on her side. And a sense of clearing the air.
She opened the door and Lucky immediately lunged for her, nearly knocking her down. She stepped back and found her balance, the dog’s front paws on her tummy.
“Lucky, down,” Dan commanded.
“No, it’s okay, Dan. I missed him too.”
She hugged Lucky, kissing the very top of his head and ruffling his fur. “You’re a good, good boy,” she cooed, in her baby Faye voice.
Dan entered the house, his arms loaded with covered dishes of food, and walked into the kitchen to set everything down. “Dinner,” he announced.
“Thanks,” Erin said, the dog underfoot as she closed the front door. “Smells wonderful.” Not that she had an appetite. She really didn’t. She had a lot to say to Dan and her throat was ready to close up any second.
“It’s brisket and corn soufflé and creamed spinach. From Hunt and Company Steakhouses. It’s one of our signature meals. It was time you tried it.”
She sidled up next to him and he turned to give her a kiss on the cheek.
She gave him a small smile, her heart heavy. “I guess it is.”
“One of these days, we’ll go to my best restaurant in Dallas and enjoy a quiet candlelit meal.”
She was going into Dallas tomorrow. Dallas Fort Worth Airport, to be exact. Will had given her an open-ended ticket when they’d first arrived. She never thought she’d be leaving without him and Faye but fate had been on his side.
Unlike with her.
Dan began opening the covered dishes. “Are you ready to eat, sweetness? I’m kinda starving. Missed lunch today.”
“Sure, we can sit down and eat.”
She was rescued, given a bit of a respite from having to tell Dan she was leaving. They went about putting plates on the table, filling glasses of iced tea and dishing up the food. It was uncanny how efficiently they worked together in the kitchen. And it was hard to think this was going to be the last time.
Once everything was set out, Dan pulled the chair out for her, always the gentleman. She took her seat and glanced at the food.
“You first,” he said.
She put a sparse amount of food on her plate. Everything truly did smell delicious and to be polite, she would eat some of it. Dan filled his plate, growled about digging in and he began eating. Every so often, he would give Lucky a taste and the happy boy’s tail swished back and forth like an out of control metronome. It was such a simple thing, but so sweet to see Lucky at Dan’s heels.
She nibbled on her meal and sipped her iced tea.
“I made cookies,” she said after the meal was finished. “Would you like dessert now?”
He leaned way back in the chair and patted his firm-as-granite belly. “Can we wait a bit? I practically inhaled the meal and can’t think about eating another bite.”
“Sure.”
“Want a fire?” he asked.
“Uh, no.” She didn’t think she could sit by the fire with him tonight.
“What’s up? You’re pretty quiet tonight.”
“Actually, can we go sit in the parlor? I have something to tell you.”
His eyes pinned to hers, and he gave her a nod. “Sure thing.”
He waited for her to rise and took her hand. She squeezed her eyes closed, absorbing his touch, the way he took control and led her to the sofa. Lucky wasn’t far behind. She sat and Dan sat beside her. Lucky roamed the room and then after circling an area a few times, found a comfy spot on the rug and nestled down.
In typical Dan style, he didn’t say a thing. He simply waited for her to speak. So this had to be it. She couldn’t procrastinate, she couldn’t stall any longer. All the words she’d practiced in her head didn’t come when she finally opened her mouth. “I, uh, I’ve been called in to work earlier than expected. The woman I was replacing at the school went into premature labor. I don’t have much choice. They really need me.”
Dan began nodding his head, watching her carefully. “How soon?”
“My flight leaves tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? Oh man,” he said, running his hands down his face. “That soon?”
“Yeah, that soon.” She spoke quietly. “I didn’t expect this.”
“No, I didn’t, either. They can’t do without you for a few more weeks?”
“No, they have no one else to fill in. And since they hired me, I’m sort of obligated to go. There’s this winter concert the children have been working on all semester. I can’t disappoint the students.”
“But you can disappoint me?” He gave her a look, his eyes pinning her down.
“I don’t want to disappoint anyone, Dan. We both knew this day would eventually come. I’m just...leaving sooner than we expected. I really don’t want to go.”
At all. But she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t reveal how breaking up with him, was also killing her inside. That she still held a shred of hope that there’d be a Hollywood ending, where he took her by the hand, kissed her senseless and told her not to leave him. Ever.
“So this is it.” It wasn’t a question, but a declaration. To his credit, he hung his head and sat immobilized in his seat. The air was still
, Lucky’s breathing the only sound in the room.
She hated to say the words that would end it, so she held her tongue and waited.
After a few moments, he spoke. “Erin, it’s a rare thing to be able to work in a field you love. And it’s a great opportunity for you. Once I heard you play, I realized music has to be in your life.”
She nodded, hiding her grief. She could argue that music was always in her life. And that she could teach music anywhere, not just in Seattle.
She had to lay her cards on the line. Dan had to know her feelings, even if she didn’t come right out and say those three little words. “Dan, this past month has been wonderful. I want you to know, I don’t look at my time with you as a casual fling. Being w-with you, meant s-something special to me. You mean something special to me.”
“You mean something special to me too, sweetness.” Dan covered her hand and tugged her close. His lips came down on hers and his kiss drew her into a mix of mind-blowing pleasure and unfair torture. She loved him. She didn’t have the courage to tell him, but he had to know, to see how she gave him everything she had to give, to feel the way she responded to him.
Unable to stand it another second, she pulled away from him. “Sorry,” she said, holding back tears. “This is hard.”
“For me too.”
Dan pushed his hands through his hair. “Let me take you to the airport tomorrow.”
“No.” She didn’t have to think twice about it. A tearful public goodbye at the airport would be too difficult and quite possibly humiliating. “But thank you for offering.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure.” She gulped air.
“Okay.”
And they sat there on the sofa for long moments quietly, Dan taking her back in his arms and holding her tight. It felt so right, but obviously Dan didn’t seem to think it right enough.
“I can stay a little longer, if you’d like,” he whispered. “Unless you have packing to do.”
She took half a second to think about it. She never wanted him to leave, but she mustered her courage, aware that the longer he stayed, the harder it would be. “I have some things to do,” she said diplomatically. It was a bold-faced lie, but necessary for her sanity.
“Then I’d better go.”
She gave a slight nod. Staring into his handsome face, she committed it to memory and tried not to tear up. She would probably never see Dan again. Once they parted, they would walk separate paths, as if they’d never met. As if this short time was merely a blip in their lifetimes. How terribly sad.
He rose from the sofa, a deep sigh pushing out of his chest. The sound resonated and her sorrow was almost tangible. He reached for her and arm in arm they walked to the door. “I’ll miss you, sweetness,” he said, turning to face her as he put his jacket on.
“Dan,” she began, but the words choked in her throat.
He enveloped her into his arms, giving her a big bear hug. Her beast of a man was leaving, exiting her life. Even though, she was the one going, it felt the other way around. He hadn’t asked her to stay. He hadn’t declared his love. He wouldn’t and it was a hard pill to swallow.
As he bent his head and claimed her mouth in another tantalizing kiss, she gripped the lapels of his jacket and gave him a kiss back that he would hopefully never forget. When they finally broke apart, she felt the loss down to her toes.
“Call me if you change your mind about the airport,” he whispered.
She wouldn’t. “Okay, but I don’t think so.”
“Safe travels, sweetness,” he said.
And then with Lucky by his side, he stepped out into the cold evening and walked down the path that led to his car. Halfway there, he stopped dead in his tracks, dipping his head as if eyeballing the ground. A few seconds passed. Her heart pounded, wondering what he was thinking, what he was doing.
And then he sighed heavily, lifted his head and resumed walking to his car. It was painful seeing him go, ending it this way. Her hopes died then and as he opened the car door, he looked her way and waved, his beautiful face partly hidden in the shadows of night.
She waved back, giving him a last smile.
It was over.
She closed the door and amazingly didn’t fall apart watching Dan drive away. No, she’d save that for later tonight. Right now, she had something else to do.
She picked up her cell and called her new friend. The call went straight to voice mail and Erin was once again disappointed. Maybe she shouldn’t have waited to tell Chelsea her plans, but she had to tell Dan first before she told his sister about her departure. “Chelsea, hi. It’s me, Erin. I’m sorry I didn’t reach you. Please call me when you get in. I have something important to tell you.”
She’d stop by Chelsea’s first thing in the morning to say her goodbyes.
It would be her last heartbreaking order of Texas business, before she boarded the plane headed for Seattle.
Ten
Erin’s fingers flew across the piano keys and she nodded her head for the fifth grade class to start singing a rendition of “Winter Wonderland.” The lively sounds filled her music room, most of the children singing in the right key and, all in all, their voices blending well in a song perfect for the oldest kids in the school. These children would graduate in less than six months and head off to middle school.
When the song ended, she stood from the piano bench and applauded. “That was wonderful, class.” Their singing sounded better than her piano playing. She was rusty, and had come to the school the day after she’d arrived to do some informal practice. It gave her something solid to do, and boy, she really had needed the quality time at the piano.
“Next, let’s practice ‘Happy to All.’”
She sat down again, gave the class their cue and began playing. The children’s eyes were beaming; they were glad to be out of regular class and spending an hour doing something fun. It was no different when she was in school, only she’d had a true love of music, so coming to music class wasn’t only about getting out of academics, it was about her passion.
She wanted to say she felt fulfilled at Lincoln Elementary. She wanted to say, taking this position working with music and children, her two true loves, was her everything. She was new to the school and the faculty here. She vowed to give herself some time to adjust. But right now, the wholeness she once felt teaching music wasn’t there.
Her heart was still in Texas. With Dan.
She played the final note on the piano and rose again. “That was pretty good, class. But it needs a bit of work. Some of you aren’t remembering the words.” She grabbed a pile of printouts of the song. “Here you go,” she said, passing them out. “Take this home, study the lyrics and practice it with your parents tonight.”
A series of groans followed. “Hey, it’s not so bad. It’s a fun kind of homework,” she said. “I’ll see you all tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day.”
After she dismissed the class, she found Shelly at the door, smiling. “That was a great practice,” she said, stepping into the room. “I came by to see if there’s anything else you might need? Anything we can do for you?”
“Hi, Shelly.” She glanced around the classroom, the stepped rows and the shelves of musical instruments. Later on today, the fourth graders would practice ringing the bells. “No, I can’t think of anything right now.”
“So, your first official day is going well?”
“I think so,” she said, giving her a smile.
“Great. Well, it’s lunchtime. Shall we go grab a bite?”
“Yes.”
After she closed up the music room, she walked with Shelly toward the teachers’ lounge. As soon as the principal opened the door, Erin was hit with a barrage of twenty staff members all smiling and waiting for her and applauding as she ste
pped inside. Construction paper signs on the windows exclaimed, Welcome to Lincoln! Many Thanks!
Food was set out on decorated tablecloths, an abundance of salads and sandwiches and desserts.
“I hope this isn’t too overwhelming,” Shelly whispered in her ear. “The staff sometimes gets carried away. You saved our butts, and we wanted to throw you a welcome party.”
“Oh, this is so...” Words escaped her. She was overwhelmed. And grateful. “It’s really lovely.”
And it was. Over lunch, she spent time meeting many of the teachers and staff working at the school. It gave her a sense of balance and perspective. She got an earful about school politics, rules and which parents to watch out for. That last one made her laugh. She’d had run-ins with helicopter parents before, their hovering and over-involvement bordering on obnoxious at times. But she’d met some really amazing parents too, and so it all equaled out.
Erin made a point of thanking everyone for their gracious welcome to the school and when lunch was over, she began walking back to her music room. Her phone dinged. She stopped to read the text coming up from the screen. It was Dan.
How’s your first day going? he asked.
It was his third text to her since she’d been back. The first one simply was to make sure she’d made it safely back to Seattle. It wasn’t much more than a friendly gesture.
The second one was a one-liner wishing her good luck on her first day on the job. She’d answered him with a short reply.
And now today. She needed a clean break from him. He had no idea how much hearing from him like this was hurting her. No phone calls. No “I’m miserable without you”s. He was trying to be her text buddy. Well, she didn’t want his friendship. Or rather, she did but only if that friendship came with more.
She tucked her phone back into her sweater pocket without texting him back. She had to get ready for the fourth graders and the bells. Dan was a distraction she didn’t need right now. He’d muddled up her mind and broken her heart enough for one lifetime. She was still raw from missing him, still at odds with his unwillingness to let go of his past. Still sorta mad at him for being dense. She supposed she was going through the stages of breakup grief all at once. Whatever it was, it was painful in a way that she’d never experienced before. She hated that she’d cried herself to sleep for the past few nights.
The Texan Takes a Wife Page 15
