by Jerry Boyd
“Main screen. Let’s see what they have to say.”
A flashily dressed Squirrel with an obviously high opinion of himself appeared. He said, “His Imperial Majesty is giving you the opportunity to surrender your ships, and enter his service.”
“You seem to be out of touch with current events. Most of your fleet is under my control, and we have just demonstrated our pilots are superior to yours. If any surrendering is to be done, I believe it should be you, surrendering to us.”
He sputtered. “The Emperor will not bow to such as you, monkey!”
“That’s fine, so long as he doesn’t expect me to bow to him.” I’m not sure what the emotions that ran across his face meant, but I’m pretty sure I hadn’t said what he thought I should have. I was lost for what to say next, so I was relieved when Natti spoke up. “Good grief, Crikki. Did you really expect that to work? Haven’t you read any of my reports?”
“Ambassador Dressi? I was told you had been killed by the monkey!”
“No, we have been trying to work out some trade agreements. I’m sure he’s been frustrated enough to want to kill me a time or two, but he is yet to act on it.” It was beginning to become clear to me that the Emperor had people between him and the real world who thought the Empire would be better off going to war with us. They had apparently blocked access to the Ambassador’s reports, and spread the word that I had killed him. I wished I was sure that direct access to the Emperor would give us success in trying to make peace, but it had to be better than what we had been doing. Crikki said, “The Admirals told the Emperor you were dead. He came to avenge you.”
I said, “Sounds like it is time for you to have an audience with the Emperor, Ambassador.”
Crikki said, “The Admirals will surely kill you if you try that, Ambassador.”
I said, “It’s been pleasant talking with you, Crikki. The grown-ups have things to talk about now.” I motioned for Saucy to cut the connection. Natti said, “He’s a little twit, but he does have power, Bob. You’ll pay for that.”
“Be that as it may, he wasn’t contributing to the conversation any more. You need to talk to the Emperor, face to face. You need some guards to make sure you survive the experience. Is that the situation as you see it?”
“It is, Bob. What are you thinking?”
“Giving you an escort, Ambassador.” I turned to Saucy. “Connect me to whoever is in charge of the Puller, please.”
“Yes, Boss. Captain AA-235, at your service.”
“Do you have a full complement?”
“Yes, Boss. The Marines Captain Mason brought back are aboard. What can we do for you today?”
“Ambassador Dressi needs to go talk to his Emperor, on that big barge that jumped in. There are people aboard it who would rather he didn’t do that, so he needs an escort. Do you suppose your boys could take care of that for me?”
“They’ve been wondering how long it would be before they had to board it, ever since it jumped in. They’re psyched to see what it looks like inside.”
“You understand that we need to keep the body count as low as possible, right?”
“I do. You understand that they probably saved stunner resistant types for the Emperor’s guard, don’t you?”
“I am aware. Do your best, I’m sure it will be good enough.”
“We need to come to the Gene Cernan to pick the Ambassador up, correct?”
“Yes. I’ll have a medic accompany him, with antidotes to all of their poisons that we know about. They seem to be fond of poison.”
“I am aware, the Marines on your ship advised me. I also know about their nasty little throwing knives that don’t show on the scanner.”
“Sounds like you have a good idea what you are up against. Fly safe.”
“And you, Boss.” I looked at Saucy. “Dixie, please.”
“Yes, Boss? Did you stub your toe?”
“No, I need you on a mission. Report to the landing bay, with all the antidotes to Squirrel poisons that you know of. You’re going to be escorting the Ambassador, on the way to his audience with the Emperor.”
“On it, Boss.”
“Later.”
Natti asked, “Let me see if I have this straight. Your Marines are going to take me to see the Emperor?”
“Do you know another way to get there, without dying on the way?”
“No, I don’t suppose I do.” I asked, “Nikki, would you be so kind as to help the Ambassador get to the Puller?”
“Sure, Caveman.”
“Thanks. Cross your fingers.”
“I will. Do you think this will work?”
“If you have a better idea, now would be the time.”
“Sorry, but I don’t.”
“Me either.” They headed for the landing bay. Snappi followed along. As soon as the door closed behind them, Willum’s voice came over the speaker. “Safe to talk now, Boss?”
“Safe as it’s going to get. What do you have?”
“So many things. Those fighters the Emperor’s yacht launched? None of them have weapons. It looks like they took them out, so they would be able to handle more impressively. The yacht itself has no weapons of any consequence, and the complement is really rather small for such a large craft.”
“I like what I’m hearing. I just sent the Puller to board them, and escort the Ambassador to see the Emperor.”
“I’m afraid you may have some disappointed Marines, Bob. They’ll have hardly anyone to fight on the way.”
“As long as he gets where he’s going, I’m a happy camper. Anything else I need to know?”
“I don’t know of anything. Talk to you later.”
“Later, Willum.”
Saucy put a feed from one of the Marines up on the main screen. Crikki met them at the airlock with more BS. They managed to catch him, so that he didn’t bump his head when they stunned him. Surprisingly, they met very few stunner resistant folks on their path to see the Emperor. I had to wonder if they were being held back for a counterattack. I texted Topper to make sure the rest of the Marines in the fleet were ready to launch, if things turned bad. He gave me a strange look, but set to work. Soon enough, the screen showed them approaching a set of ornate double doors. A pair of ceremonial guards outside got stunned for their efforts. When the doors came open, several Admirals were formed up on the inside, presumably to defend the Emperor. None of them turned out to be stunner resistant. The parade continued right up to the throne, where the Marines parted to let Natti and Snappi come to the front. They knelt, and Natti said, “Your Imperial Majesty, I come to deliver my report of the negotiations thus far.”
“Is this some sort of trick? We were informed the Ambassador was killed by the infamous monkey.”
Natti raised his head. “It is I, Majesty. You have been misinformed.”
“My Admirals assure me they have the most accurate intelligence. Yet here you are. Can you explain this?”
“Your Majesty, I have no way of knowing for sure what has happened, but I have to think that somewhere in the chain of command, someone is willfully deceiving you.”
“I would hear your version of what has gone on here.”
“The first day of negotiations, Commodore Wilson and I were able to come to agreement on a non-aggression pact. When I returned to the fleet to rest, I reported my results to the fleet officers. During the night, elements of the fleet opposed to peace mutinied, and gained control of the fleet. Instead of me going back to continue negotiations, they sent a shipload of troops, in hope of capturing the Commodore’s flagship. I managed to warn the Commodore, and he met them with troops. Their assault was short-lived. The Commodore then tasked his Marines to put the fleet back under my control. Two of the ships are back in service. Weeding out the loyal officers from those who want war is taking longer than we might like. Once I had freedom of movement, I resumed negotiating, as that is my purpose here.”
The Emperor said, “I’m sure there is a great deal more detail that I
will need to be informed of, but that can wait. You say you have come to agreement with the, did you say Commodore? On several points?”
“I have, Your Majesty. I have copies with me, if you care to peruse them.”
“Not at this time, thank you. How much did you have to give him to keep him from attacking?”
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but you must be misinformed. Commodore Wilson has no interest in attacking the Empire.”
“Didn’t he come to Oak and demonstrate the fact his ship is immune to our drive suppressors?”
“He did. He thought he might be able to get your attention by that means, to perhaps convince you that you didn’t want war with him, any more than he wants war with you. Apparently, that attempt failed.”
“Did he not then proceed to reactivate the old Commonwealth Navy?”
“He did, but only when he realized he had mentioned his intention over a comm channel that our agents were listening to. He concluded, rightly it would seem, that our forces would destroy the Navy, if he didn’t go collect it.
His reception at the Navy yard tends to support his opinion.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m sure Your Majesty is aware of the force that was sent against the Commodore at the Navy yard, and how well they fared.”
“No, I am not aware of any such force. What exactly happened?”
“Our ships jumped in, setting off the destruct charges our people had previously placed on the ships in the yard. The Commodore had removed them, and placed them where he thought our ships would emerge from FTL. He managed to put one of the ships out of the fight. The two carriers that were functional at that time dealt with the rest.”
“I thought the ships had been preserved in flyable condition. Why did you say only two ships were functional?”
One of the Marines spoke up. “Pardon me, Your Majesty, but I can answer that one. At some time in the past, your people had spaced all the maintenance bots, so the ships weren’t being kept up as they should have been. The Commodore had to recover the bots and get them functional again, before he was able to bring the ships back into flyable condition.”
The Emperor turned to the Marine. “You expect me to believe that your Commodore brought a whole fleet from a derelict state, to the fine fleet I see before me, in that small amount of time?”
“Your Majesty, not having any prior experience with your people, I have no expectations whatsoever. I expect you to believe whatever you see fit.” The Emperor seemed a little put off by that. He said, “You do, however, maintain that it is the truth?”
“I do, Your Majesty.”
“Did you witness it yourself?”
“I did not, Your Majesty. My unit and I were found shortly after the fleet was reactivated. I do have eyewitness testimony from my fellow Marines who were there, however.”
“I should trust that because?”
“A bot’s memory can be blocked, so that we are unable to recall events, but false events cannot be substituted by any known means.”
“I see. How many people does the Commodore have working for him, that he was able to bring the fleet to flyable condition so quickly?”
Natti answered, “Your Majesty, he depends a great deal on bots to do things such as that. The bots that had been spaced were brought back to operating condition by the bots already in his service, and together they brought the fleet into flyable condition.”
“I see. Might I ask why he provided you with an escort, to come see me?”
“He felt, as did I, that whoever spread the rumor that I was dead might want to make sure it was true, before I delivered my report, Your Majesty.” Since the bot we were getting our feed from was focused on what the Emperor and the Ambassador had to say, we didn’t see the cause of the commotion at first. Soon enough, we saw an Admiral falling, after being stunned again. Then we saw the daggers sticking out of the chests of the people we had been listening to. Dixie examined the knives, and administered antidote. She then applied bandages to the entry wounds. The Emperor roused first. He asked, “What happened?”
The Marine who had spoken before said, “Your Majesty, one of your Admirals awakened, and apparently thought you had heard too much. He threw a poisoned dagger at you.”
“Did he miss? How am I still alive?”
Dixie said, “I have some experience with your people’s poisons, Your Majesty. I gave you an antidote.”
He studied on that for a minute. “You, who work for Commodore Wilson, saved the life of the Emperor of Oak?”
“I did. I’m sure you’re recording these proceedings, if you want to confirm what I have said.”
“That won’t be necessary. Thank you for my life. What are you called?”
“My name is Dixie, Your Majesty.”
“Would you consider a job as my personal physician?”
“Sorry, but no. The Commodore is the best Boss in the galaxy. Thanks, anyway.”
“You don’t even want to hear about the job?”
“Not really, but if you insist, I will listen.”
Natti roused about then. He said, “Your Majesty, the Commodore’s bots are some of the most loyal people I have ever seen. Were I you, I wouldn’t waste my time.”
“I see. How is it that Dixie here has so much experience with our poisons?”
Dixie said, “Those throwing knives your people like to conceal in their cheeks don’t show up on our scanners. I had to take care of the Commodore when he was hit with one. Since then, I have studied everything I can find on your poisons, so that I will be ready when it happens again.”
“Pardon my ignorance, but why do you say when, and not if?”
“Our company motto, Your Majesty. Murphy is our shepherd. It means we should expect the worst, so that when things come out better than that, we are pleasantly surprised. Besides that, I doubt that the Commodore is going to quit challenging your people to outrageous fights to try and get their attention.”
“Outrageous fights?”
“The fight where he got nicked was four-on-one. He offered the fellow a choice between one-on-one, and he could keep his weapons, or four-on-one, no weapons. Apparently, he didn’t think the hideout in his cheek counted.”
“That is a breech of honor. Do you happen to know the name of the man who committed it?”
“I do not. The Commodore might have some record, but as I recall, he just wanted him off his ship.”
Natti said, “I’m sure we can find out his name for you, Majesty. Knowing the Commodore, however, it might cost us the formula for the ceramic in those hideaway knives. He seemed very interested in them.”
“I’m not sure I understand, Ambassador. He wants the formula to make the knife that nearly took his life?”
“Very much so, Majesty. The fact that it is so hard for his scanners to detect impressed him highly. I’m sure he has some of his crew trying to duplicate it as we speak. If we don’t sell him our recipe soon, he will be selling us his improved version in a month or two.”
“You mean to say his crew can figure it out that quickly?”
“One of his armorers worked from a captured example of our sidearm, and developed it into a carbine with improved capabilities, in under a month. One thing I have learned in my dealings with them, is not to bet against Bob’s Saucer Repair. They are a group of very capable, very motivated individuals.”
“You sound almost as if you would rather work for them, than me.”
“The Commodore has offered me that very thing on several occasions. I can’t say it doesn’t appeal to me, but I remain loyal to Your Majesty.”
“Why is that?”
“I see good things happening in the Empire, and I want to be a part of them. If I go to work for Bob, I personally would be better off, but by remaining Ambassador, I can help the Empire take advantage of the new state of affairs in the galaxy, and help the entire Empire.”
“Why do you think the Empire needs your help?”
“Without a v
oice of restraint, the Admirals will continue their campaign to try and destroy Bob’s Saucer Repair. Bob is a patient man, but sooner or later, he will have enough of their nonsense, and conquer us. He doesn’t want that, I don’t want that, and I’m sure Your Majesty has no interest in running a puppet government, having to clear every decision with Bob.”
“You’re that confident this Bob you speak of can defeat our Navy?”
“He’s beaten everything the Admirals have thrown at him, and he hasn’t even quit trying to keep our people alive, yet. If he were to decide it no longer suited his purposes to play nice, our fleet would cease to exist in short order.”
“I still don’t understand. If his ships are so capable, why hasn’t he already conquered us?”
“He doesn’t have any interest in trying to administer an Empire of Squirrels. He doesn’t like administrative tasks, and he thinks, rightly, that we would resent his rule, and cause him no end of trouble.”
“What sort of future does he have in mind, then?”
“He would like for us to live in peace, and do business. He has no interest in war. Don’t take that the wrong way, Majesty. He doesn’t want to fight. If you push him into it, he will be ruthless, in ways you can not even imagine. I have been to the planet he calls home. Their wars are terrible things. You do not want that sort of destruction visited on the Empire.”
“How do you mean, Ambassador?”
“There is a line from one of their popular entertainments that is often repeated among their people. ‘Nuke ‘em from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.’ That is the way they think. They don’t see overkill as a problem, but as a way to end a terrible conflict more quickly. These humans are not the same as the Commonwealth humans. They will fight dirty, and fight hard, and never give in. This is a fight you do not want, Majesty.”
“You almost sound as if your loyalty lies with the humans, rather than the Empire, Ambassador.”
“No, Your Majesty. I merely do not want to see the Empire put through the kind of punishment that these people will dish out, if you force them to war.”
“You fear their wrath that much?”
“None of the ships or crews the Admirals have sent have been able to lay a finger on Bob’s ships. Why would we think that we could suddenly do better?”
