by Jerry Boyd
I looked at Natti. “Good negotiating technique, but you’re busted now. No wonder I’ve been dreading these sessions.”
Natti looked at me, confused. “I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about, Bob.”
“The ultrasonic noisemaker in your briefcase. It wears on our patience after a few hours. Does it really make it easier to get me to agree to things, though? When we had to deal with louder versions of that, it just made me mean.”
Natti looked even more confused. “Noisemaker? What are you talking about? Ultrasonics work on us, just as bad as you, if not worse. Why would I plant such a thing in my briefcase? Did you bump your head, Bob?”
Nikki said, “Hon, I honestly think he didn’t know about it.”
I replied, “That’s what I read on his face, surprising as it is.” I turned back to Natti. “Take your papers out, and we’ll get rid of that thing for you.”
One of the Marines came up, pushing a cart for him to empty his case onto. Once he had emptied it, Andre took it, and carefully examined it. When he was certain he had the right spot, he flipped open a knife, and cut it out. He scanned the device, and then crushed it between his fingers. Suddenly, I felt better. Andre handed the case to Natti, and said, “Here you go, Ambassador. It should be a lot more pleasant to be around, now.” Snitz had laid down. I squatted, and gave him a scratch. I said, “Thanks, boy. You saved the day, again.” He panted, and got up and trotted off. I shook my head, and said, “I’m thinking he needs to be the Commodore, not me.”
Nikki said, “At least your orders are easier to understand.”
I turned to Natti. “I’m guessing that was put there without your knowledge, Ambassador?”
Natti looked up from organizing his briefcase. “It most certainly was, Commodore. I had no idea it was there.”
“You’re saying someone on your side is still trying to sabotage the negotiations?”
“So it would seem.”
“Excuse me a moment, please.” I turned away and asked, “Gene, do you have recordings of our earlier meetings?”
“Yes, Boss. I thought you wanted me to record them.”
“I did. Do they have enough audio quality to tell if the Ambassador’s briefcase was putting out ultrasound the whole time?”
“They do, and it was. Sorry, Boss, I didn’t think to check that earlier.”
“Neither did I, Gene. Don’t worry about it.”
I turned back to Natti. “Ambassador, it seems that nasty little bugger has been trying to mess us up from the start. It’s a wonder we got anything done.”
“I would say so. I feel so much better since your man crushed it.”
“Perhaps now we can make some progress.”
“Why don’t we go find out.” We headed for the transit. Natti asked, “The Emperor wanted me to ask you where the ship that left was headed.”
“I’m sure he did. Well, you’ve asked, does that fulfill your obligation?”
“You’re saying you have no intention of telling me anything about it?”
Andre spoke up. “Sir, he has no intention of telling crew members who don’t have a need to know, and I don’t think he’s told any of the other Captains in the fleet. You would be quite a ways down the list.”
I asked, “Why do we rate an escort today, Andre?”
“That little noisemaker proved that these talks aren’t as safe as we would all like to think they are, Boss. Sally has informed me that she will have Scotti recycle me into a vacuum cleaner, if I let you come to harm.”
“Understood, Andre. I wouldn’t want to be on Sally’s bad side, either.”
Natti asked, “Who is this Sally?”
“One of my Captains. She has picket duty right now.”
“Why is she in charge of discipline for the bots?”
“She’s the highest ranking bot in the fleet, Ambassador.”
“I thought you said she was one of your Captains?”
“She is. We also have some bots Captaining destroyers, but she’s the only bot in charge of a carrier.”
“I see. That’s not something we would do, at all.”
“Your people forced my hand. I hadn’t intended to reactivate the fleet until I had more humans for crew. As it is, I have to say I’m very pleased with the crews I have. I should have known the bots would do fine. They always do.”
Andre said, “Thanks, Boss.”
“Thank you, Andre.”
We got to the ready room, and Andre posted outside the door. The rest of us went in and got to work. Without the noisemaker, we got a lot more done. By the time Stella came in with the lunch cart, we had gotten more done than we had managed on any other day so far. Natti said, “I don’t have the words to tell you how sorry I am for bringing that thing to these meetings. Thank you for figuring it out.”
I replied, “I wish I could take credit for that. Snitz did that all on his own, and I still haven’t figured out how.”
Nikki said, “He has been doing things he really shouldn’t be able to lately, hasn’t he?”
“I think being in the autodoc did him some good, but he really surprised me this time. I don’t have a clue how he figured that one out.”
Snappi asked, “What do you mean, Commodore?”
“Snitz decided I needed company today, all of his own accord. Then you guys came aboard, and he found the noisemaker. That seemed to satisfy him, and he wandered off to do his regular dog things. Seemed like he knew what he had to do, and once he had it taken care of, he went back to his normal routine. That’s more mental ability than he should be able to muster. There must be something I’m missing, because right now, it doesn’t make a great deal of sense.”
Natti asked, “It came out well, why worry about how it happened?”
“I’d like to know if it is something I can depend on in the future, or just a fluke. If I don’t know how it happened, I can’t figure that out.”
“I see. However it happened, I’m thankful. We’ve gotten a lot more done today.”
“Yes, we have, and I’m not nearly as tired as I was before. I knew your people were sneaky, but that was a neat trick. Do you think you have any chance of figuring out who did it?”
“We can look at the computer records, but I doubt that someone who was slick enough to pull this off would forget to cover their tracks. Before you ask, I doubt there is anything you could offer them, to make them consider coming to work for you.”
Nikki said, “I think you got ahead of him there, Ambassador. He hadn’t gotten that far yet.”
Snappi said, “He would have, though. The Commodore doesn’t miss many opportunities.”
I said, “You guys give me too much credit.”
Natti said, “I don’t think so, Bob. I think you try to project that whole ‘I’m just a hick’ routine, to make people underestimate you. I’m aggravated at how often it works on me, when I know to watch out for it.”
“How do you mean?”
“Oh, how about figuring out that if you were there as an equal, you shouldn’t bow to the Emperor? Some dumb hick, like you pretend to be, wouldn’t have gotten that one, would he?”
“Okay, Ambassador, you’ve got me. Does that change anything?”
“Just how carefully I need to read over everything, before the Emperor signs it.”
“If you would rather talk to Dee and Beatriz, I’m sure that can be arranged.”
“No, thank you, Commodore. Negotiating with you is just fine. Sorry if I gave you a different impression.”
Nikki said, “They scared him, didn’t they?”
“I believe they did. I wonder how they managed that?”
Natti replied, “Could we just agree that they did, and leave it at that?”
I said, “Of course. I didn’t know we were getting close to a sore spot.”
“It’s just that an experienced negotiator like me shouldn’t be that easy to manipulate. It’s embarrassing.”
I replied, “You shouldn’t be em
barrassed that those two got the better of you. Between them, they have a shipload of experience. Look at it more as an opportunity to learn your craft, from a couple of masters.”
“They don’t embarrass you?”
“On a regular basis. I try to learn from it.”
“Do you succeed?”
“Rarely.” We got back to work, and the afternoon flew by. Stella came back in, and asked, “Did you want me to bring in another meal, or are you going to call it a day?”
I looked at Natti. He said, “I think we’ve gotten enough done for one day, don’t you? We’ve done more today than we had up till now.”
I replied, “That sounds reasonable. No reason to work ourselves that hard, now that we’re finally getting somewhere. I’ll walk you back to your ship.”
“I think we could find it by ourselves, Commodore.”
“I don’t doubt that. I just wonder how many other things you could find along the way.”
We grabbed a transit, and headed back to their ship. As they were getting aboard I asked, “What do you want to do about those sensor platforms you put out? You can pick them back up, or I can give my head gunner the practice, it doesn’t matter to me.”
Natti said, “What?”
“The sensor platforms your spy ship put out. We’ve got good coordinates on them, wouldn’t be any trouble to give you a little fireworks show.”
Snappi said, “I told those idiots you would find them. How did you do it?”
“That would be telling, wouldn’t it? Where’s the fun in that?”
Natti asked, “Why don’t you wait till we’re gone and disarm them, learn all our secrets?”
“My demolition people say the charges are more trouble to disarm than it would be worth.”
“I’ll see if I can convince them to clean up after themselves.”
“Thanks. See you tomorrow?”
“Yes. See you then.” They climbed aboard, and headed out. Nikki said, “That was dirty, Caveman. Waiting for the last minute to bring up the sensor platforms. Is Dee giving you lessons?”
“Just watching and learning, Space Cadet. Let’s go eat.”
In the transit, she asked, “You really don’t have any idea how Snitz figured out that thing in Natti’s briefcase?”
“Not a clue. Do you have any ideas?”
“Nope. He sure is a smart dog.”
“That he is.” We got to the galley, and Janet was there, waiting on us. I asked, “What’s up?”
She said, “Nothing, really. I just asked Gene to tell me when you were coming to the galley, so I could come and eat with you.”
I looked at Nikki. “Smart girl. You’d think she would have had better sense than to hook up with us.”
Nikki said, “You would, wouldn’t you?”
Janet asked, “If you two are through having fun, can we go eat now?” We went in and sat down. Stella brought out our usual drinks, and asked, “What would you folks like to eat this evening?”
I said, “I’m too tired to think. Just bring me the special.”
Nikki said, “Me too.”
Janet said, “Cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Stella said, “I’ll have that right out.” She turned and went back to the kitchen.
Janet asked, “Did you guys play with Snitz this morning? He was gone for a while, and then he showed up and laid down with Alice.”
I looked at Nikki. She said, “I can’t explain it any better than you, Caveman.”
I said, “He followed me around for a bit this morning. Once he had fixed the problem I was having, he left.”
“Gee, there has to be more to the story than that.”
“There is, but neither one of us understand it, so we don’t know how to tell it.”
“What problem did he find, then?”
“One of the Ambassador’s people had put a noisemaker in his briefcase that was keeping us from being able to concentrate when we were talking about the things we were trying to agree on. Snitz came and pointed it out to us, and Andre took care of it. After that, things went a lot smoother.”
“Briefcase, is that the little suitcase he carries around with him?”
“Yep.”
“I saw Snitz growl at it yesterday. I kept him from bothering the Ambassador, though.”
“That explains how he knew about it, then. You didn’t understand what he was trying to tell you, so he came and told me. Now I understand.”
“Understand what, Dad?”
“We couldn’t figure out how he knew to come and tell me about the case. He just decided to follow me around this morning, for no reason I could see. As soon as he showed me the case, he wandered off. It was all kind of strange.”
Janet took a minute to get her head around that one. Then she said, “You mean he waited till the Ambassador showed up, and told you about the noise?”
Nikki said, “That’s exactly what he did. Amazed us, for sure.”
“Did things go better, without it?”
I said, “They sure did. We got a lot done today.”
Nikki said, “Then your Dad had to go and shoot his mouth off as they were leaving. I hope he didn’t set us back.”
Janet looked at me, wonderingly. I said, “I just asked if they would prefer to pick up their sensor platforms, or watch Tex blow them to smithereens.”
Nikki said, “I thought it was odd that Snappi knew about them, but Natti didn’t.”
“That was odd. Maybe we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
Janet asked, “Wait a minute, you mean they didn’t tell the Ambassador they had put out sensor platforms?”
Nikki said, “No, they didn’t. Hey, Caveman, I had a thought. Could it have been a gambit to see how good our sensors are?”
“That begins to make sense, my dear. I played right into their hands, didn’t I?”
“I think you might have. At least, Snappi knows we’re not willing to play around about it.”
“Oh well, ‘You live and learn, or you don’t live long’, I suppose.”
Nikki looked at me. “Movie?”
“Nope. Book. Heinlein, but I couldn’t tell you which one off the top of my head. At least, that’s where I think I picked it up.”
Stella came out with our meals, and we dug in. I didn’t realize how hungry I was, until the room was suddenly in color again. I said, “Nice appetizer. Is our supper coming soon?”
Nikki said, “I know what you mean. You wouldn’t think sitting around talking would take it out of you so bad, would you?”
“Nope. At least we made good progress today.”
Janet said, “I’m going over to Milly and Rhonda’s for a while. See you later.”
I said, “Later.” Nikki said, “Be good.”
I looked at Nikki and said, “You’re getting the hang of this Mom thing, huh?”
“I suppose I am. Comes from keeping you out of trouble, I think.”
“That could be. Why is it I’m not better at being a Dad, then?”
“You don’t keep me out of trouble, you instigate it.”
“I thought I was the one who fixed the trouble?”
“Only the big stuff. The little stuff, you start, just to keep things from getting boring.”
“I guess you could be right about that.”
“I didn’t say it’s not enjoyable, ya big goof!” She smacked me on the shoulder.
I asked, “What do you want to do now?”
“I’m worn out. I think I’m going to head to the cabin.”
“That sounds like a plan. I need to track down Snitz, the wonder dog, and I’ll be there.”
“Don’t forget your evening debrief with Jim, in the grass room.”
“You’re probably right about that. I’m sure Gene thinks I need to talk about the events of the day.”
Snitz came running up. I said, “Thanks, Gene.”
“No problem, Boss.” I kissed Nikki, and she headed for the cabin. Snitz and I took off for the grass room. Sure enou
gh, Jim and Molly were there. Jim said, “Evenin’ Boss.”
“Hey Jim. What do I need to talk about this time?”
“Gene just told me to be here, he didn’t give me any detailed instructions.”
“I had a productive day, even if it was tiring. I suppose I could have done without finding out that Snitz, here, is smarter than me, but that’s not all that bad.”
“How do you figure he’s smarter than you?”
“He figured out somebody had put a noisemaker in the Ambassador’s briefcase, to slow down the talks.”
“Things are going better, now?”
“They are. Of course, I had to go and fall for their ploy to see how good our sensors are.”
“How’s that?”
“I asked them whether they wanted to pick up their sensor platforms, or watch us blow them to smithereens. If I had kept my big mouth shut, they wouldn’t have known we had good enough sensors to find the things, and we could have blown them at our leisure.”
“They would still have found out that we could find their stealthed platforms, as soon as you had them blown. I can’t imagine you would let them watch our operations for very long, in any case.”
“I hadn’t looked at it that way. Thanks, that makes it easier to take getting fooled. We didn’t lose much, anyway.”
“Anything else that has you worried, since I’ve got my counselor hat on, anyway?”
“I don’t think so. It just bugs me that I didn’t think to check for tricks, when the talks were going so slow.”
“You trust the Ambassador, right?”
“Yep.”
“Why would you think he would sabotage the talks?”
“I wouldn’t.”
“So, you would have had to figure out that there were still people in his fleet who didn’t want the talks to succeed, who would be willing to plant such a thing, before you could even think to look?”
“I suppose.”
“You were supposed to deduce the existence of these folks exactly how?”
“I suppose you’re right. The only evidence I had was the slow talks, and that could have just been that Natti has the Emperor looking over his shoulder, so that he’s more cautious.”
