Courage

by Kristen Proby

  Courage

  A Heroes of Big Sky Novel

  Kristen Proby

  Ampersand Publishing, Inc.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Shelter

  Title Page

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Newsletter Sign Up

  Also by Kristen Proby:

  About the Author

  Courage

  * * *

  A Heroes of Big Sky Novel

  * * *

  By

  * * *

  Kristen Proby

  COURAGE

  A Big Sky Novel - Heroes of Big Sky

  Kristen Proby

  Copyright © 2021 by Kristen Proby

  All Rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect are appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  * * *

  Cover Design: By Hang Le

  * * *

  Cover Image by Wander Aguiar Photography

  * * *

  Published by Ampersand Publishing, Inc.

  * * *

  Ebook ISBN: 978-1-63350-087-7

  Dedicated to Monica Murphy and Devney Perry, my sprinting partners, my confidants,

  my friends.

  Thank you. For everything.

  Prologue

  ~Natasha~

  “Auntie Tash,” Kevin says, holding out his hand covered in honey Greek yogurt. “Wash me.”

  “Holy cow, how did you do that?” I hurry over with a wet washcloth and wipe down Kev’s fingers, then glance over at his twin sister, Kelsey. “That doesn’t go in your hair, sugar.”

  She laughs and rubs yogurt on the side of her head. “I’m washing it.”

  “Your hair?”

  She nods, and I blow a lock of hair out of my face. Where is my scrunchie?

  “Yeah. I’m washing it.”

  I groan and check my phone for the fifteenth time this morning. Where are they? Monica, my very best friend in the world, and her husband, Rich, left the kids with me overnight so they could have a romantic evening alone. They even went to a rental house up on Whitetail Mountain. A fancy place with a pool, where they could enjoy each other and have all the sex in the world.

  And I kept the twins—which I don’t mind at all. I love these two. But, man, they’re a handful. And Monica was supposed to be here two hours ago.

  “Auntie Tash,” Kelsey says. “I want more oranges.”

  “Okay. I can do that.” I recheck my phone before retrieving some orange slices from the cutting board in my destroyed kitchen.

  We watched movies last night for our slumber party. When you’re entertaining four-year-olds, it’s important to have a wide array of snacks on hand for movie watching.

  And the remnants of those snacks are still spread all over my kitchen.

  As much as I love them both, I can’t wait for Monica to pick them up so I can clean this hellhole and then take a long nap.

  How she does it with twins, I’ll never know.

  I check my phone again, and there’s nothing.

  “They were coming back this morning, right?” I double-check my calendar. Sure enough, it’s right there. Monica back. She harassed me forever the first night, checking on the kids. I finally had to tell her to stop bugging me and go attack her husband.

  She called once yesterday to say hi to the twins.

  And I haven’t heard from her since.

  When noon rolls around, and Monica is now several hours late, I decide to call Sam, Monica’s brother.

  It rings five times before he picks up.

  “Yeah,” he says.

  “Hey. Are you swamped?”

  “Yeah, I’m getting all my stuff packed up today. Moving next week.”

  “Oh, right.” Sam took a new firefighter position in Spokane. It’s only four hours away, but the thought of him not living in Cunningham Falls anymore is a punch to the gut. “So, your house sold, then?”

  “Yep. I close on Monday. I’m getting everything into storage for now. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, but something’s weird. I’m watching the twins this weekend so Monica and Rich could have some alone time. They were supposed to be here to get the kids this morning, and I haven’t heard from them. She’s not answering. And, honestly, I’m getting worried.”

  “Do you know where they were staying?”

  “Yeah, she gave me the address just in case.”

  “Text it to me. I’ll take a break here and go check on them. But if I see my sister naked because she and Rich are getting in one more round of sex, I’ll kill you dead.”

  “Deal. Thanks, Sam. I’m sorry to interrupt your day.”

  “I could use a break anyway. I’ll keep you posted.”

  “Great. Thanks.”

  He hangs up, and I turn to the kids with a forced smile.

  “Where’s my mommy?” Kelsey asks. “I want to go home.”

  “I know. They’ll be here shortly. They probably just lost track of time, that’s all. Why don’t I put a movie on for you guys while we wait?”

  “Scooby-Doo,” Kevin says as he jumps out of his chair and runs for the living room. “Let’s watch Scooby-Doo!”

  I follow the kids and get them settled with Scooby, then pace back to the kitchen. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  I have a bad feeling. My stomach roils. I feel hot.

  Something is wrong.

  “Please, let me be wrong.” I stare at my phone, willing it to ring. Finally, it lights up with Sam’s name.

  I answer immediately. “Hey.”

  “Tash.” He clears his throat, and I instinctively know that I was right.

  “No.”

  “Jesus, I don’t know what to say.”

  “No, Sam. No.”

  “Honey, you need to call someone to come be with you. I’m going to be a while up here with them.”

  “What happened?” I cradle the phone against my ear.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “No.” I shake my head and sit on the floor behind the island where the kids can’t see me. “Please. You’re wrong.”

  “I’ll be there in a couple of hours. Call Aspen. Is Aspen in town?”

  I nod, even though he can’t see me. Aspen, one of our closest friends, has been in town all winter. “Yeah. I think so.”

  “Call her. I don’t want you to be alone right now. I’ll be there when I can.”

  “What do I tell the babies?”

  He’s quiet for a moment. “Nothing yet. We’ll talk to them together. Call Aspen.”

  He hangs up, and all I can do is sit and cry. How? How can this be happening? They just wanted a weekend away.

  I dial Aspen’s number.

  “Hi, friend.”

  “I need you. Right now.”

  “I
’m on my way.”

  Chapter 1

  ~Natasha~

  One month later…

  * * *

  “Carbon monoxide poisoning.”

  I keep my back turned to the two busybodies gossiping in the produce section. As if the past month hasn’t been hard enough, I get this just about everywhere I go. Murmurs, whispers behind my back. Looks of pity. Words of sympathy.

  Leaving the house has been pure torture to begin with, but adding this onto the stress of it makes me want to hide under the covers and never come out.

  “So sad,” the other one, Misty, says. “They just fell asleep and never woke up.”

  Just when I’m about to turn to the women and say, “Really? I’m right here,” my phone rings, grabbing my attention.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Tash, this is Hilda Smith at the school. I’m afraid I need to see you and Mr. Waters in my office as soon as you can get here.”

  “Is something wrong? Is one of the twins hurt?”

  “No, no, it’s nothing like that. We have a behavioral issue to discuss. I’d really prefer to talk to you and Sam together.”

  I blow out a breath and stare at the basket full of groceries. “I can be there in about thirty minutes.”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  She hangs up, and I resign myself to not finishing today’s grocery run. Instead, I make my way to the checkout.

  Once the groceries are paid for, I hurry home to put the perishables in the fridge, leaving the rest for later.

  This isn’t the first time in the past month we’ve been called in for a meeting with the school. Both kids have had a tough time adjusting.

  Hell, I’m having a tough time, and I’m over thirty.

  Just as I pull into the parking lot, I see Sam parking his blue truck. He waits for me on the sidewalk.

  “I always feel like I’m the one in trouble,” he says grimly as we walk toward the front door of the building.

  It’s summer, so the kids aren’t in school yet. They start kindergarten in a few weeks, but Monica enrolled them in preschool all summer, and we thought it would be best if we tried to keep their schedules as close to normal as possible.

  And, I can admit, I need the few hours during the day to get caught up on everything that I can’t see to when the two of them are underfoot.

  And, yes, that makes me feel inadequate and horrible.

  “If Kevin’s stealing again, I’ll kill him,” I mutter.

  Sam doesn’t reply, just takes my hand in that patient, sturdy way he has that tells me everything will be okay.

  “I’ll take them tonight,” he says.

  “It’s not your night,” I remind him. “We’ll be okay.”

  “Let’s find out what’s going on before you turn me down on the offer,” he suggests as we reach the office doorway. “Hi, Hilda.”

  The older woman, who happened to teach me in middle school, glances up and smiles. “Hello, you two. Come on in.”

  I have a feeling the warm welcome is only to butter us up for what’s about to happen.

  “Don’t keep us in suspense,” I say immediately, sitting on the edge of the seat as if I’m ready to take off running at any second. “What happened?”

  “It’s been a series of events today, I’m afraid,” she says. “Kelsey won’t talk.”

  “I’m sorry, what?” Sam asks.

  “She won’t speak. Won’t answer questions or even talk to her friends. She just shakes her head and looks at the floor or ground. Her teacher says this was not the case yesterday.”

  “It wasn’t the case this morning, either,” I say and rub my fingers across my forehead. “What else?”

  “Kevin peed on the playground during recess.”

  Sam and I just stare at the woman. Finally, Sam laughs.

  I hang my head in my hands.

  “Listen, you two,” Hilda continues, “I know that it’s only been a month since the twins lost their parents, and that you both are doing the very best you can. I can’t even begin to imagine the grief and pain you’re all going through. But I have to be honest here. We just can’t have this behavior continue. It’s disruptive to the rest of the students. And, frankly, it’s difficult for the teachers to handle.”

  “I get it.” I sigh and glance at Sam, who’s no longer laughing. “Can you please give us another chance? Just one more. It’s Friday. Let us take the weekend to talk to the kids and see if we can get some of this resolved so they’re not acting out at school. I know they enjoy it here. They talk about it all evening.”

  Hilda sits back and watches us. I can see it written all over her face that she’d already made up her mind to kick them out.

  But she sighs and nods. “Okay. One more chance. But if anything like this happens again, I’ll have no choice.”

  “Understood,” Sam says. “Thank you for your patience, Hilda. We appreciate it. Are they ready for us to take them home?”

  “Yes, they should be waiting just outside. Class was dismissed. Good luck.”

  We stand to leave. When I see the kids silently sitting in their chairs, their blue eyes big and haunted, I want to break down and cry.

  Instead, I offer them my hands.

  “Come on. Let’s go home.”

  We’re quiet as all four of us walk to my car. Once the twins are settled in their seats, I close the door and turn to Sam.

  “I’m sure you had better plans, but are you interested in coming home with us?”

  “I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Thanks.”

  Before it happened, the kids used to chat incessantly whenever I picked them up from school, which was a couple of times a week because of Monica’s and Rich’s busy work schedules. But over the past month, we’ve sat in so much silence, it almost feels like it screams.

  I’ve barely put my car in park when Kevin unbuckles himself from his seat and hurries out of the car, running toward the house.

  Kelsey doesn’t move at all.

  “We’re home, sugar.”

  She turns those haunted eyes to me. “Okay.”

  “Let’s go have a snack and talk with Uncle Sam, okay?”

  She nods and waits for me to help her out of her seat, even though she’s perfectly capable of doing it herself. But I don’t mind. Once she’s free of the belt, she wraps her little arms around my neck and gives me a big hug.

  “Don’t die, okay?”

  I turn my face to look at her in surprise.

  “What?”

  “Don’t die.”

  “Oh, honey.” I kiss her little cheek and carry her out of the car. “I’m right here. Let’s go get that snack.”

  She rests her head on my shoulder, and I walk toward the front porch where Sam and Kevin are waiting for us.

  “We heard you two had a busy day today,” I begin after I unlock the door and everyone files into my small house. “Who wants to talk about it?”

  No one says a word.

  “Okay, so none of us wants to, but we have to.”

  “Why?” Kevin asks.

  “Because we need to have a family meeting to figure some stuff out,” Sam replies. “You two know right and wrong. You know when you’re being bad. And when you’re hurting someone’s feelings. Right?”

  Both of them nod mournfully.

  “Then why are you acting this way?” I ask. “I know you’re sad. I am, too. But we can’t be mean to other people.”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Kevin glares at the floor. He just turned five and has so much anger in his little body, I don’t know what to do.

  “It matters,” Sam corrects him. “No iPad tonight.”

  Kevin just hops off his chair and walks to his bedroom.

  “Can I have a nap?” Kelsey asks. “I’m sleepy.”

  “Sure.” I brush her hair off her shoulder. “Do you want me to read to you first?”

  “No. I’ll just sleep.”

  She walks away to the room she shares with her brot
her, leaving me with Sam.

  “I’m fucking this up,” I say and rub my hands over my face. “Big time.”

  “They need counseling,” he says. “Shit, we all do.”

  “What was she thinking, leaving them to me?” I ask. I look at Sam and hold my hands out at my sides. “I don’t know how to be a mom.”

  “Well, I don’t know how to be a dad, but they left them to me, too. They trusted us to do what’s right. And we’re doing that.”

  I want to tell him that shuffling them back and forth between my house and his rental isn’t exactly the best thing for them, but I don’t. Because we’re doing the best we can with the hand we’ve been dealt.

  And it’s a pretty shitty one.

  “I’m going to stay for a while,” he says. “I’ll have dinner with you guys. I don’t have other plans.”

  “We’d like that. Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. But you could make your famous tacos.”

  I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. Monica loved my tacos.

  “Deal.”

  “Let’s grab lunch,” Sam suggests a week later. We just finished signing the papers to sell the salon, one of the last details to see to regarding the estate.

  I shrug a shoulder. “I’m really not that hungry.”

  “You have to eat,” he says gently. “And so do I. The kids are with Aspen. Let’s go be crazy and eat junk food at Ed’s.”