Courage

by Kristen Proby

  “Making out with me in bed?”

  “Hmm.” His thumb brushes over my hard nipple, and he groans. “For starters.”

  He pulls my nightshirt up and over my head, and then makes quick work of getting my panties down my legs.

  “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?” He licks my collarbone. “You make me crazy. I wanted to fuck you in a firetruck tonight.”

  “That might be interesting.”

  “I can’t get enough of you. Can’t keep my hands off of you.” He nibbles my shoulder as his hand travels over my pubis and down into my folds. “You’re always ready for me.”

  “I mean, you turn me on, Sam.” I swallow hard as he flips me onto my stomach and starts to kiss down my spine. The first time he did this, I almost came out of my skin. He knows it gets to me in the best way possible.

  He just knows.

  “I’m going to make you crazy,” he whispers in my ear. “And the best part is, you can’t make any noise. Don’t want to wake the kids.”

  “I had no idea that you were a sadist,” I reply, earning a chuckle in response. The sheets are crisp and cool under my hot body.

  And Sam’s hands are everywhere.

  They roam over my back, my ass, and all the while, his mouth does the most delicious things to me.

  I want him.

  Now.

  I arch my ass in invitation, but he just bites the globe of my left cheek.

  “Patience,” he says.

  “I’m fresh out,” I reply. “Sam, you’re killing me here.”

  “That’s the goal.” His tongue slides over the skin where my ass meets my thigh, and I sigh. Then he travels inward, and I hold my breath in anticipation.

  Because every single time he does this to me, I have the best orgasm of my damn life.

  Every. Time.

  But he switches it up on me, and instead of using his mouth, he just plays.

  With his fingers.

  Which is no less amazing, I have to admit.

  “Sam.”

  “Getting there.”

  Finally, he boosts my butt into the air, and with his hand pressed to the small of my back, he slides right inside of me.

  Each time is like the first time.

  I gasp.

  He sighs.

  And we fall into a rhythm of push and pull that just feels amazing. After I come for the first time, he pulls out and rolls me over, pins my hands above my head and slides back in, his gaze riveted to mine in the moonlight as he fucks me wild.

  We don’t make much noise. I don’t want to wake the kids. But our breaths are ragged, and when he leans in to press his lips to mine, I know without a doubt that I’m only moments away from falling over the edge all over again.

  “Do it,” he whispers. “Go over.”

  I have to press my lips together to keep from crying out as the orgasm flows over me like a tidal wave. When I surface, Sam’s there, holding onto me as he follows me over.

  “Jesus,” he whispers. “It’s just never enough. Am I nuts?”

  “No.” I push his hair off of his forehead. “You’re not nuts.”

  He kisses me softly and then leaves the bed to clean up, unlocking the door just in case someone needs us.

  Sam informed me that it’s safest to sleep with the door closed in case there is ever a fire. So, that’s what we do.

  But the kids know they can come in if they ever need me.

  I pull my nightgown back over my head and grab a clean pair of panties.

  When Sam climbs back into bed, wearing his boxer shorts and a T-shirt, he pulls me to him. I rest my head on his chest, finally feeling sleepy.

  “Nothing like a good time with you to make me sleepy.”

  He chuckles. “I do what I can. Wait, does that mean I’m boring.”

  “No. Not even a little bit.” I kiss his chest. “Life is not boring with you in it.”

  He kisses my forehead. “What’s on tap for tomorrow?”

  “Thankfully, Halloween fell on a weekend this year. But the twins have a birthday party to go to in the afternoon. It’s at the bouncy house place. I’m praying for no broken bones.”

  “Nah, they’ll be fine. They’re young. Seth was at the fire hall tonight. He said he mentioned horse riding to you guys.”

  “We saw him, too.”

  “He invited us to come out on Sunday. Does that work?”

  “Are you kidding? The bouncy place and horses in one weekend? The kids will be thrilled. It’ll be fun.”

  “Okay. Weekend plans are set, then.”

  We’re quiet for a long moment, and then his arms tighten around me.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Just glad you’re here with me.” He kisses my head. “I couldn’t do this by myself.”

  “And you don’t have to.”

  Chapter 8

  ~Sam~

  “Excuse me.”

  I crack open one eye and find a little boy with his cheek next to mine, watching me closely. He’s still standing on the floor, leaning on my pillow, staring at me with big blue eyes full of tears. I frown and run my finger down his soft cheek.

  “Hey, buddy, what’s up?”

  “I had a bad dream.” He sniffles and wipes his nose on my pillowcase. Awesome. “Can I come in here?”

  “Sure.” I lift the covers and pull Kevin against me, letting him snuggle down. “Was it a scary dream?”

  “Yeah.” He rubs his hand under his nose. “Did you have a scary dream, too?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Because you’re in Auntie Tash’s bed, so maybe you had a bad dream.”

  I smile and kiss the top of his head. “I just wanted to be in here. Go back to sleep, buddy.”

  He yawns and is asleep within seconds. I check the time.

  It’s only three, so I settle in to sleep with him nestled safely beside me.

  “Why are you so moody?” I rest my hands on my hips and stare at Tash as she puts mascara on her lashes, even though she definitely doesn’t need it. “You’ve jumped down my throat twice already this morning, and you’ve only been up for an hour.”

  “I overslept,” she says, hurrying through her makeup routine. “I have to have the kids at the birthday party in two hours. We need to have breakfast, and I forgot to get the kid a present, so I have to run out and do that, too.”

  “I can handle breakfast,” I reply. “But please don’t ask me to buy a present because I have no idea.”

  “I’m tired.” She sets the tube down and sighs. “I didn’t sleep well. And then Kevin came in, and I totally overthought it for hours.”

  “You woke up?”

  “Of course, I woke up. You had a conversation. I’m a light sleeper.”

  I reach for her, but she narrows her eyes. I can take a hint. She’s not happy.

  “You’re mad because I let Kevin sleep with us?”

  “No.” She shakes her head and stomps out of the bathroom, pushes past me, and starts rummaging through her drawers for something to wear.

  I would ask her if she’s about to have her period, but I value my balls.

  “You have to help me out here, babe, because I’m lost. And I don’t want you to be mad at me all day long. I can’t handle it. Just tell me how to fix it, and I will. Honest.”

  She sighs and sits on the edge of the bed. “I wasn’t ready for one of the kids to come in here and discover that we’re sleeping together.”

  “We weren’t having sex,” I remind her. “We had clothes on, and we were sleeping.”

  “I know, but now I feel like I have to explain it to them, and I don’t know what to say.”

  I rub my fingers into my eyes. “Okay, we’re going to handle this right now. Get dressed and let’s go.”

  “Wait, what are we going to handle?”

  “The sleeping situation. I’m a grown-ass man, Tash. If I want to sleep in the same bed as you, I will, kids or no kids. They literally don’t care. So, let’s go have thi
s conversation, shall we?”

  “But.” She blinks in surprise, but I don’t give her a chance to argue.

  “I said get dressed and let’s go.”

  I leave the room and find the kids, already eating cereal all by themselves, sitting in front of the TV watching a cartoon.

  “Hi, guys. When your aunt joins us, I have something to talk to you about.”

  They don’t even pause in eating their Cap’n Crunch.

  “Okay,” Kevin says, unconcerned.

  “There she is.” I smile at the woman I love, Jesus, I love her, but she just narrows her eyes at me again. “So, we just wanted to have a quick chat with you about the sleeping arrangements.”

  “Do we have to sleep somewhere else?” Kelsey asks.

  “Not you guys,” I reply. “You know how Auntie Tash got the guest room all ready for me?”

  They nod.

  “Well, I think I’d rather just sleep in Tash’s room. With her. It’s more comfortable. What do you think of that?”

  “If I have a bad dream, can I still come in there?” Kelsey asks.

  “Of course.” I pat her on the shoulder. “Nothing else will change.”

  “Our mommy and daddy slept together,” Kevin points out. “And that was fine.”

  Tash sighs, but I just give her a look and nod at Kevin. “Yeah, they did. And it was no big deal, right?”

  Kevin shrugs, not interested in this conversation in the least. Kelsey finishes her cereal and grins at Tash.

  “Can I have another bowl?” she asks.

  “Sure,” Tash says. “So, we’re done talking about where Sam sleeps?”

  “Huh?” Kevin says, already watching his cartoon again. “Yeah.”

  “Okay.” Tash takes Kelsey’s bowl and walks into the kitchen.

  I hurry behind her.

  “See? They don’t care.”

  “Why do I think things are a big deal when they’re not at all? You’re right, I’m totally an overthinker.”

  “You’re just trying to be a good parent, and a good role model. But you don’t have to try so hard to do that, Tash. You’re excellent without having to try. Just be yourself. The kids love and respect you. They always have.”

  I pull her to me and kiss her softly, then wrap my arms around her and pull her in for a long hug.

  We’re rocking back and forth when we hear, “Yuck.”

  I glance over to find Kelsey making a face. “Hugs aren’t yucky.”

  “You’re getting mushy,” she says as if she’s fifteen instead of five. “I want my cereal.”

  “Coming up,” Tash says with a laugh. “I got sidetracked.”

  Kelsey runs back to the TV, and Tash pours the cereal. “I’m sorry I was in a bad mood.”

  “We all have them.” I grab a bottle of protein smoothie out of the fridge and open it for my breakfast. “Let’s not stress so much about being together around the kids, okay? We’re not doing anything wrong, and I’m sick of hiding.”

  “Yeah, okay.” She carries the bowl out to Kelsey and then comes back to eat her normal breakfast of a banana and yogurt. “I have to run and grab that gift. It shouldn’t take too long. Then, if I don’t have to stay at the party, I’ll drop them off and run some other errands.”

  “I can take them to the party,” I reply. “You run your errands. If I have to stay, I’ll stay. No big.”

  She blinks at me, and then blinks faster as if she’s going to cry.

  I clearly don’t do enough around here if just taking the twins to a party so she can do other things makes her emotional.

  “Okay,” is all she says.

  “Are those good or bad tears?”

  “I’m not crying.”

  But she sniffs and turns her back to me so she can wipe her nose on a napkin. I can handle the bad moods. I can handle just about anything. But I can’t do tears.

  Seeing her cry is my undoing.

  “Do you need a hug?” I ask.

  She shakes her head.

  “A latte?”

  She chuckles.

  “Good God, just tell me what I have to do to make the tears stop, and I’ll make it happen.”

  “You’re just a nice guy,” is all she says. When she turns to me again, the waterworks are finished. “That’s all.”

  “That’s the kiss of death.” I shake my head sorrowfully. “When a girl breaks out the you’re-a-nice-guy line, it’s usually followed up with, ‘But I can’t see you anymore.’”

  “You’re a dork.” She laughs and reaches over to smack my arm, but I catch her hand in mine and pull her against me. “Thanks for handling the kids this afternoon.”

  “It’s no biggie. It’ll be fun.”

  She smiles, and I’m not sure if it’s in pity or if she’s patronizing me.

  Then she taps me on the cheek.

  “Sure. It’ll be fun.”

  “You’re not getting out of horseback riding today,” I inform Natasha.

  “I thought you said the birthday party went just fine,” she says with a sweet smile.

  Of course, I told her that. Of course, I did. Because I refused to admit that it was pure and utter torture.

  I was the only parent who stayed. And because of that, the kids wanted me to bounce with them, and I’m quite sure I might have dislocated my knee at one point.

  I’m too old for that shit.

  But I’ll be damned if I admit that to the woman I’m supposed to be impressing. She’s younger than me by almost a decade as it is. I don’t want her to see me as old.

  “All I’m saying is, you get to participate in the fun with the rest of us today.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t miss it.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “Thanks again for yesterday. I got a ton done, and I know those parties are a lot. Like, a lot. I appreciate it.”

  I just shrug. “No big deal.”

  She laughs and then shakes her head at Kelsey when the little girl walks into the room.

  “Nope. You can’t wear a dress to ride the horse, sweetie. You need jeans to protect you from the saddle. And a sweatshirt. The sun is out today, but it’s November, so it’s chilly.”

  Kelsey turns around without a word and stomps back to her bedroom. The little girl has been so excited to go ride the horses that Tash could tell her she has to wear a bathing suit in the middle of a snowstorm and Kelsey wouldn’t argue.

  Within thirty minutes, we’re loaded up and ready to head out to the Lazy K Ranch. The drive out of town is nice today, a surprisingly warm day for November.

  “Do you see the deer?” Tash asks, pointing out the window, and the kids scramble to see it before we drive past.

  Before long, we pull into the long driveway of the Lazy K, moving past the big house where Zack and Jillian live and on to the house that Josh built more than a decade ago. He and Cara have made their home back here, nestled next to the back pasture.

  I park next to Seth’s truck. As we get out of Tash’s SUV, Seth walks out the front door, smiling at us.

  “Who’s ready to get on a horse?”

  “Me!” Kelsey yells. “Is her name Spwinkles?”

  “No.” Seth laughs and leads us around the house to the back pasture. “No, this one is named Suzie. She’s a gentle mare, and she’s perfect for learning.”

  “I want a fast horse,” Kevin says. “A really fast one.”

  “Next time,” Seth says with a wink and reaches out to pet Suzie. “Hey, girl.”

  He shows the kids how to touch and talk to her while Tash and I hang back, watching.

  “Are you itching to get on her?” I ask.

  “Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve been in the saddle, and I miss it some. I learned on Suzie, too. Seth taught Monica and me how to ride when we were kids.”

  “I remember. I also remember Monica came home with a broken tailbone after one of the lessons.”

  “She fell off,” Tash says with a smile. “And she fell hard. Poor thing. She was walking funny for quite a while af
ter that.”

  We watch as Seth puts Kelsey in the saddle.

  “Oh!” she exclaims and wraps her arms around the horse’s neck in fear. “It’s really high.”

  “You’re okay,” Seth says. “Loosen your grip so Suzie can breathe. There you go.”

  He walks Kelsey and the horse around the pasture, patiently talking to the little girl, coaching her and building her confidence.

  “He could do this for a living,” Tash says. “He’s always been good with the animals.”

  “Hey, I thought that was you.”

  We both turn in time to see Gage walking up to join us. I glance at Tash, but she just smiles politely at her brother.

  “What brings you out here?” she asks him.

  “I’ve been renting one of the old bunkhouses from Josh,” he says with a shrug. “Rentals are hard to find in Cunningham Falls.”

  “No kidding,” I agree. “It’s pretty much impossible. I might be giving up my apartment soon. If I do, I’ll give you a heads-up.”

  “Appreciate it.” He smiles as he watches the kids with the horse. “They’re so cute. They got big fast.”

  “That happens when you’ve been gone for a long time,” Tash says. There’s no anger in her voice, it’s just matter-of-fact.

  “That’s true.” He nods and then shuffles his feet in the dirt. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, Natasha.”

  “I can give you some privacy,” I offer, but Gage shakes his head.

  “Nah, this isn’t a secret or anything, and something tells me you two tell each other pretty much everything anyway.” He smiles. “Do I have to kick your ass or something?”

  I size up the other man. He’s less than a year younger than Tash. He’s taller than me by at least two inches, and thanks to the military, has a strong, muscular build.

  It would be a close match.

  “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “Good.” He nods. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I’m moving back here. Permanently.”

  Tash frowns. “You’re getting out of the Army?”

  “Yeah. And I want to live here in Cunningham Falls. Need to, actually. And, listen, I don’t want things to be so damn awkward between us. You’re my sister. I want to know those kids, and I want us to act like family.”